Teacher gave out candy and certificates...

[va32h]

I'm also floored that I as a parent can't put candy in my son's lunch box, but the teacher can hand it out. What's up with that??

Well this part stood out for me too, because I'd be ticked off if the school told me what I could pack in my kids' lunchbox!

My kids get candy/stickers for good behavior in class. I don't like reward-based behvioral management myself, but it's the teacher's classroom, not mine. My kids do know that mommy is not going to pass out candy and stickers just because they behave the way they are supposed to behave.

I do think that if awards are given to everyone, with no regard for criteria, they lose all meaning.

 

[JunieJay]

Trust me- I could take up page one of the Dis with what is going on.

We gave him his reward for being "on track" all week last night.

I HATE the thought of retaining an attorney. I'm going to call the state capital and speak with an education advocate first.

Can you get an IEP rather than a 504 plan? Those offer more insurance that the teacher has to follow through on modification plans, no?

 

[Mermaid02]

Can you get an IEP rather than a 504 plan? Those offer more insurance that the teacher has to follow through on modification plans, no?

There are several evaluations that are currently being done and when the findings are in we will try to get him an IEP. The Principal thinks Jack's behavior is "willful" and doesn't believe his different physicians.... this is a big part of our frustration and problems.

 

[JunieJay]

I have to agree. I think it is great they gave the students with good grades an award. They work hard for it and deserve it. I am so sick of the every child wins they don't. For an event that has a lot of participants it is ok to give a participation pin but there should still be 1 winner.

When I was in elem. school I had a teacher who made her seating chart by your grades 1st seat had the highest grade and so on till the last seat was the lowest. We switched every grading period. Can you imagine the parents today. We lived thru it and by the way the kids know who makes good grades. This everyone is special and good is very evident on American Idol some of those younger ones seem genuinely surprised (and I don't mean the really bad ones) when they are told your OK but not great, because no one every told them that.

I do have to agree with the American Idol contestants. Those are clear examples of children who were told they could be whatever they wanted to be, regardless of natural talent. If either of my sons, who have many gifts but singing is not one of them, got it into their heads they could be the next American Idol, you can bet I would do whatever I could to squash that dream. I've tried to tell my kids that while they have an opportunity here in America to do anything they want to do, it requires actual ability. Choose a career that resembles your abilities. These kids on AI were obviously told they were wonderful singers when they clearly were not, and I'm betting it started with their parents.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I am OK with the perfect attendance, but at our school they also pass out "Commendable" attendance awards. These are all given out at the honors assembly the last week of school. If a student misses 3 days or less they get a "commendable" award. I know sometimes kids can't help it--the closest DD#1 ever got in elementary was only missing ONE day in 3rd grade, and it was for her great-grandmother's funeral, seemed unfair to me--but it's always been a goal for them to go for. DD#2 didn't miss any in grades 3 or 4, and only a 1/2 day 2 weeks before school was out in 5th grade. (of course that was the afternoon they took the 5th grade "graduation" group photo, but I digress!)
The elementary also has "student of the month" awards, nominated by teachers, focusing on a different positive attribute each month. DD#1 didn't get one until 5th grade for "honesty" because she turned in someone's lost money. DD#2 almost didn't get one in all 6 years--but when she missed that 1/2 day of school she took it upon herself to call someone and get all of her work so she didn't miss a beat, and her history teacher (not her homeroom guy) nominated her for "responsiblity"--the last month she could have gotten it. Now that seemed weird to me. She's my best student, polite, never gets into trouble--but no one noticed anything positive about her until 5th grade? Now DS has gotten one in 1st AND 2nd grade for "courtesy" and will probably get it again this spring because all of his teachers tell me how well-mannered he is--I guess that is noticeable in a boy!
As for honor roll, the only problem I have ever had is at the junior high. DD#1 never made the "all-year honor roll". To get it you have to be on honor roll first 3 quarters. She was always on honor OR recognition roll(honor roll is 3.5 or above) but kids who are in that 3.0-3.5 range all year get nothing, not even a certificate. I even asked the principal once about it. Not so much for kids like DD#1 who just miss honor roll, but kids who probably bust their butts and are LUCKY to get a 3.0 at all. Shouldn't they be encouraged? Never heard back from the principal, though.
Robin M.

 

[RachelEllen]

I dislike the perfect attendance award because growing up we took off days for the Jewish Holidays. Always bugged me back then I would never be eligable for it.

 

[summerrluvv]

I dislike the perfect attendance award because growing up we took off days for the Jewish Holidays. Always bugged me back then I would never be eligable for it.

Where I live, the children have the jewish holidays off.

 

[tevagirl]

Mermaid, I just wanted to say that I think you've handled yourself very nicely today.

 

[Mermaid02]

Mermaid, I just wanted to say that I think you've handled yourself very nicely today.

Thank You. I really do think everyone has some good points regardless if they agree with me or not.

 

[lesroi]

Trust me- I could take up page one of the Dis with what is going on.

We gave him his reward for being "on track" all week last night.

I HATE the thought of retaining an attorney. I'm going to call the state capital and speak with an education advocate first.

Huh? How did we go from "I am going to have to speak to the teacher" to getting an attorney?

Yet another example of what is wrong in America. Can't anyone take some responsibility for themselves anymore? Why is it that you cannot discuss the education plan with your son's teacher? Perhaps I just missed something, but this is out of hand.

Did you ever stop to think that your son's story may not be 100% truth? I know it is hard to hear that about your child but surely the thought has crossed your mind that you don't have all of the information?

Talk to the teacher. Geez, it isn't that difficult and it's responsible parenting!


Tracy

 

[allie&mattsmom]

At my kids school they have an end of the school year awards ceremony and they give out the perfect attendence awards there. Frankly this year with all of the illness going around I'd be surprised if anyone gets it!

With regard to the honor roll, we have a straight A honor roll, an A honor roll and a B honor roll for the 5th, 6th, 7th & 8th grades only. It's quite a big deal to the kids to get on it because what they do is they publish the names of the kids who make the honor roll in the school newsletter. So not only does every student get to see who made the honor roll and which honor roll, every teacher and every parent who reads the school newsletter also gets to see who made the honor roll as well!

 

[ducklite]

Our school has an honors assembly every quarter and awards the children who made honor roll. I don't have a problem with that. If a child works hard and makes honor roll, why shouldn't they be rewarded? (FWIW- my oldest dd ALWAYS misses by one class grade.)

Because quite simply, some children have learning disabilities that will keep them from ever making the honor roll, even though they work twice as hard as honor roll kids to just get passing grades.

I had a natural gift for many subjects, never studied and did minimal work, but got straight "A's." I was the laziest student you ever met, and got away with it. IMHO the girl in my class who had an IQ in the low 70's and struggled just to get passing grades deserved the accolades a lot more than I did.

Anne

 

[Mermaid02]

Huh? How did we go from "I am going to have to speak to the teacher" to getting an attorney?

Yet another example of what is wrong in America. Can't anyone take some responsibility for themselves anymore? Why is it that you cannot discuss the education plan with your son's teacher? Perhaps I just missed something, but this is out of hand.

Did you ever stop to think that your son's story may not be 100% truth? I know it is hard to hear that about your child but surely the thought has crossed your mind that you don't have all of the information?

Talk to the teacher. Geez, it isn't that difficult and it's responsible parenting!


Tracy

There's a lot more than what you see here. Isn't that usually the case? The 504 has nothing to do with having to get an attorney (which I don't want to do as I have stated). Believe me, I have learned more about 504 plans, IEP's, special education and the laws than I ever wanted to.

You're right, my son's version might not be exactly what happened, Did I call the teacher yesterday and crab her out? No. Am I going to do that Monday? No. I told my son that Dad and I know he's trying his best and that's good enough for us.

I need to call a meeting about the 504 plan so we can discuss it. Chatting with the teacher isn't enough. There needs to be a team meeting with concerns on both sides discussed and notes taken.

The "attorney" thing stems from a letter the Principal wrote to my son's psychiatrist. She said he doesn't understand the laws, and his letter was defensive and aggressive. He also made a comment to my son the day before Christmas break mocking his disability and I was standing right outside the office. I wanted him to know I heard him so I stepped into the doorway and commented. My son's documented diagnoses are of no concern to this man and he has labeled him a behavior problem period.

 

[4chitlins]

... my son who is in fourth grade told me that Monday his teacher gave out Crunch Bars and certificates to the kids who made honor roll and also to those who had perfect attendance. First of all, I'm not allowed to put candy in his lunch box so what's up with that? Second, I think perfect attendance awards should be outlawed (not really, but KWIM?) at some point during the year, a kid ought to stay home and not spread whatever he/she has. Third- my son has a disability and no matter how hard he tries, he will most likely NEVER make honor roll. You can't tell me that she couldn't think of SOMETHING to award each child in the room. My son said he started to cry when he received nothing.

I feel like making cupcakes for his birthday and only making enough for the kids who are nice to him. Of course I wouldn't do that, but I don't see it as any different than what she did.

Life isn't fair, it's oh so true.

I totally agree with you. My son was left out of a perfect homework pizza party once and cried all the way home.Also he is AD/HD and has been given things by his teacher that we never allow him to have. Then she actually sent home a note about his behavior that day. I wanted to call her and say....DUH

 

[Christine]

I do have to agree with the American Idol contestants. Those are clear examples of children who were told they could be whatever they wanted to be, regardless of natural talent. If either of my sons, who have many gifts but singing is not one of them, got it into their heads they could be the next American Idol, you can bet I would do whatever I could to squash that dream. I've tried to tell my kids that while they have an opportunity here in America to do anything they want to do, it requires actual ability. Choose a career that resembles your abilities. These kids on AI were obviously told they were wonderful singers when they clearly were not, and I'm betting it started with their parents.

Judi,

I was thinking all this too, during the last American Idol.

Did you happen to see the Vietnamese (I think) girl (Phong) who was trying out. She was all teary-eyed during the showcase of her because her mom had discouraged her--alluded to the fact that her DD didn't sing that well and that, while her DD was pretty, she wasn't "celebrity beautiful." Everyone was just sighing and going "ohhh" over this; however, I thought that is mother was just trying to be VERY objective about her daughter's talent (or lack thereof). I wonder how many times parents DO try to be honest with their kids but they are so caught up in societies "everyone's a winner" attitude that it falls on deaf ears.

 

[MareQ]

Because quite simply, some children have learning disabilities that will keep them from ever making the honor roll, even though they work twice as hard as honor roll kids to just get passing grades.

I had a natural gift for many subjects, never studied and did minimal work, but got straight "A's." I was the laziest student you ever met, and got away with it. IMHO the girl in my class who had an IQ in the low 70's and struggled just to get passing grades deserved the accolades a lot more than I did.

Anne

Exactly!!! Most schools are not honoring HARD work. They're not honoring children that have done their absolute best - they're honoring perfection or near perfection - how those kids got there is of no concern. The achievements of other children that worked harder - is of no concern.....

 

[lesroi]

There's a lot more than what you see here. Isn't that usually the case? The 504 has nothing to do with having to get an attorney (which I don't want to do as I have stated). Believe me, I have learned more about 504 plans, IEP's, special education and the laws than I ever wanted to.

You're right, my son's version might not be exactly what happened, Did I call the teacher yesterday and crab her out? No. Am I going to do that Monday? No. I told my son that Dad and I know he's trying his best and that's good enough for us.

I need to call a meeting about the 504 plan so we can discuss it. Chatting with the teacher isn't enough. There needs to be a team meeting with concerns on both sides discussed and notes taken.

The "attorney" thing stems from a letter the Principal wrote to my son's psychiatrist. She said he doesn't understand the laws, and his letter was defensive and aggressive. He also made a comment to my son the day before Christmas break mocking his disability and I was standing right outside the office. I wanted him to know I heard him so I stepped into the doorway and commented. My son's documented diagnoses are of no concern to this man and he has labeled him a behavior problem period.

I see. I figured there was more to the story. At any rate, I sure didn't suggest calling and crabbing the teacher out. I stand by you actually making an effort to talk to her. You do realize that the school is not the enemy, right?

I know sometimes it is hard to admit that our kids might actually BE acting out at school since they are always such perfect little angels at home, but it can happen. Just because your child says they are doing their best, it isn't always the case.

Trust me when I tell you that no one at the school has a vendetta out for your son. I know it can sometimes feel this way. (And yes, the principal may just be a DOLT!) My sister teaches in the SSD - her class is filled with children that sound like your son, so I can feel your pain. I have spent days with her class and I can assure you, some of the kids ARE acting out, and they AREN'T trying their best. I have been there on other days when these same kids are, to the outside world, perfectly normal in appearance. These are the same sweet children that each sent me individually-written cards when I sent them a pinata party, so they can be sweet and caring children if given the chance!

The point is, you have to see it from both sides, and COMMUNICATION is the key. The teacher is not your enemy, she is there to help your child. You facilitate that by being open in your communications with her and not sicking lawyers, attorneys and the principal on her. For all you know, she doesn't think highly of the principal either, lol!

Good luck! You seem to have a lot on your plate!



Tracy

 

[barkley]

I am OK with the perfect attendance, but at our school they also pass out "Commendable" attendance awards. These are all given out at the honors assembly the last week of school. If a student misses 3 days or less they get a "commendable" award. I know sometimes kids can't help it--the closest DD#1 ever got in elementary was only missing ONE day in 3rd grade, and it was for her great-grandmother's funeral, seemed unfair to me--but it's always been a goal for them to go for. DD#2 didn't miss any in grades 3 or 4, and only a 1/2 day 2 weeks before school was out in 5th grade. (of course that was the afternoon they took the 5th grade "graduation" group photo, but I digress!)
The elementary also has "student of the month" awards, nominated by teachers, focusing on a different positive attribute each month. DD#1 didn't get one until 5th grade for "honesty" because she turned in someone's lost money. DD#2 almost didn't get one in all 6 years--but when she missed that 1/2 day of school she took it upon herself to call someone and get all of her work so she didn't miss a beat, and her history teacher (not her homeroom guy) nominated her for "responsiblity"--the last month she could have gotten it. Now that seemed weird to me. She's my best student, polite, never gets into trouble--but no one noticed anything positive about her until 5th grade? Now DS has gotten one in 1st AND 2nd grade for "courtesy" and will probably get it again this spring because all of his teachers tell me how well-mannered he is--I guess that is noticeable in a boy!
As for honor roll, the only problem I have ever had is at the junior high. DD#1 never made the "all-year honor roll". To get it you have to be on honor roll first 3 quarters. She was always on honor OR recognition roll(honor roll is 3.5 or above) but kids who are in that 3.0-3.5 range all year get nothing, not even a certificate. I even asked the principal once about it. Not so much for kids like DD#1 who just miss honor roll, but kids who probably bust their butts and are LUCKY to get a 3.0 at all. Shouldn't they be encouraged? Never heard back from the principal, though.
Robin M.

i'm guessing the 3 days or less missed is strictly excused absences, because around here (at least in some of the public schools) you better not miss any more than 3 over the course of the entire year which are not 'deemed' by the school as excusable ('valid illness', 'medical appointments that cannot be reasonably schedualed outside the hours of instruction'... ) or you get deemed a 'truant' and subject to all that insanity. so i can't see them rewarding someone for simply just managing to achieve NOT being refered to the truancy board.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

... my son who is in fourth grade told me that Monday his teacher gave out Crunch Bars and certificates to the kids who made honor roll and also to those who had perfect attendance. First of all, I'm not allowed to put candy in his lunch box so what's up with that? Second, I think perfect attendance awards should be outlawed (not really, but KWIM?) at some point during the year, a kid ought to stay home and not spread whatever he/she has. Third- my son has a disability and no matter how hard he tries, he will most likely NEVER make honor roll. You can't tell me that she couldn't think of SOMETHING to award each child in the room. My son said he started to cry when he received nothing.

I feel like making cupcakes for his birthday and only making enough for the kids who are nice to him. Of course I wouldn't do that, but I don't see it as any different than what she did.

Life isn't fair, it's oh so true.

Gee I drive a school bus for our district and we aren't allowed to pass out anything . Yet the kids get on the bus with lollipops, something they could choke on, from school. We aren't supposed to let them eat on the bus either, so, they have to either finish them before we leave, or wrap them for after they get home, or throw them away.

I agree with you about the perfect attendance, my kids have had alot of surgery so they never got perfect attendance. I think that they should give everyone something. One of my kids made the honor roll all through school, my youngest was very delayed, hardly ever makes the honor roll no matter how hard he works. Very sick as a baby before we adopted him.

 

[CathrynRose]

I think awards are fine for perfect attendance and honor roll. Those kids should be rewarded. I also think its appropriate to give an award to most improved student. My kids often don't get grades good enough for an award, but that is life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

I know it sucks - but it *is* life. Kinda like when youre in the workplace and someone gets a raise, or a commission check for a job 'better' done. Thats the way the cookie crumbles. And quite frankly.... I dont like the whole "everyone gets a prize" cuz what is the point of a prize then?

Do something special for him yourself....it would probably mean more to him anyways.

I do agree with you about attendance, though. I have co-workers that must think theyre going to get a certificate and a Crunch bar for coming in hacking and sneezing.... I'd rather they'd stay home.