Teacher gave out candy and certificates...

[Jennasis]

I understand your son is upset. However, I don't think the teacher did anything wrong rewarding the honor roll kids and the ones with perfect attendance (I have ZERO problem with kids missing as much school as necessary for illness and such). Those rewards are meant to REWARD the ones doing the work and making the grades...and it is not up to the parents of others (read, the ones who didn't get something) to decide whose kids work harder.

You can bake your son cupcakes and let him know how proud you are of him and how special he is. The other kids earned the rewards...he didn't. And that's ok. Perhaps he needs to work harder (as I prepare for the onslaught of "you have no idea how hard my son works" yadda yadda yadda...). Seriously though, he should use the rewards as a motivation to do better. If the work is beyond him because of his disability, perhaps there are alternate classes you could be checking out for special needs children at the school?

I am 30 years old, and while elementary school was eons ago for me, I distinctly remember the teacher handing out stickers (scratch-and-sniff) and candy to high scoring students and honor roll kids. In the beginning of the year I rarely got anything...then I knuckled down and started busting my fanny for those little Jolly Ranchers and "skunk" scented stickers. And if I ever came home CRYING because I didn't get something that "Susie" EARNED, my mother would've grounded me for life for being selfish.

 

[CathrynRose]

I am 30 years old, and while elementary school was eons ago for me, I distinctly remember the teacher handing out stickers (scratch-and-sniff) and candy to high scoring students and honor roll kids. In the beginning of the year I rarely got anything...then I knuckled down and started busting my fanny for those little Jolly Ranchers and "skunk" scented stickers.

 

[r3ngels]

I didn't read all of the posts... but I don't have a problem with rewarding children but it is really tough for the students who try so hard only to get A's and B's.

My oldest has some learning disabilities and works so hard, hours and hours to finish her homework at night. And is doing what she is capable of.

My middle is SMART... she even corrects my oldest homework sometimes. She doesn't try for anything... if she has to study for a 100 but will get a 95 with out studying she will go for the 95. She scares me how she never tries and gets straight A's (high A's) it is not setting the example I want.

It is so hard for my oldest who tries sooooooooo much harder and never gets any recognition (exept by her parents) and then her sis does nothing and gets everything, notes from the principal and certs for the pizza place etc...

I know that it's life but I think sometimes the reward isn't based on the hard work done but more the outcome.

Just my $.02

 

[BuckNaked]

I know that is life but I think sometimes the reward isn't based on the hard work done but more the outcome.

I think that's because in many, if not most cases, the outcome is a direct result of level of effort. Obviously there are exceptions as noted here - LD children trying really hard and not getting the grades, and kids like your younger DD, who get the great grades with very little effort.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

ITA! This "celebrate mediocrity" mentality is driven by the parents. Kids DO need to learn to deal with disappointment. We can't celebrate every dog gone thing. We aren't all "winners" in every venue we try. Sometimes a "certificate of participation or effort" IS all we deserve, if that.

We were just discussing this last week. An American Idol wanna be didn't make it so she went into the hall to get her mommy. Come on people. Life does provide all of us with harsh lessons. Based on the responses here there's no easy answer. There will always be someone who doesn't like the way things are done. As parents, we're here to help our kids get over these things, not make them go away.

Well said!

 

[TDC Nala]

I've got no problem with the honor roll but I don't think the teacher should give out chocolate. I have a nephew who is allergic to it. He knows not to eat it but that sort of prize wouldn't do him much good. I think they ought to just give certificates.

I don't think they need attendance awards at all, though.

 

[phorsenuf]

I know it sucks - but it *is* life. Kinda like when youre in the workplace and someone gets a raise, or a commission check for a job 'better' done. Thats the way the cookie crumbles. And quite frankly.... I dont like the whole "everyone gets a prize" cuz what is the point of a prize then?

Do something special for him yourself....it would probably mean more to him anyways.

I do agree with you about attendance, though. I have co-workers that must think theyre going to get a certificate and a Crunch bar for coming in hacking and sneezing.... I'd rather they'd stay home.

I totally agree with you.

As far as the posts regarding learning disabilities my ds has a learning disability and works real hard to get good grades. Every quarter he tries his hardest because one day he will make honor roll. That's his personal goal and he works very hard towards it. He hasn't made it yet but he doesn't get upset when he doesn't. He knows he tried his best and maybe next time he'll make it. I think it's great because he always pushes himself instead of just thinking he can't do it because he has a disability so why bother working hard. Now I'm not saying that all kids just don't try but I'm sure there are some out there that just slide by because they have an "excuse".

BTW, he's a junior in high school.

 

[TJ's Mom]

I know that is life but I think sometimes the reward isn't based on the hard work done but more the outcome.

And this is life. We get a raise on the outcome of our job not because we tried hard. You can have someone who tries really hard at baseball but is not that good. Should he make the majors? Nope. It is the person who has the talent that will make it.

 

[ariel & eric]

I don't have a problem with it. Some kids are just healthy and some aren't. I remember being in 5th grade and a 6th grader recieve an award for perfect attendence for 7 years - K-6. I remember thinking "How cool for him!!" My own DS had his first sick day in 4th grade, but he had been absent because we took him out of school for vacations (GASP! I know we are bad parents). Has far as honor roll, maybe it would give others who had not acheived it the want to do better. My son would never have made the honor roll last year in 5th grade, but made it this year in 6th and has a learning diablility too. He has worked very hard for it and we are proud of him. School puts the names up of all kids who made HR. Should they not do that because it isn't fair????

Life it not fair, in fact it sucks some days, but that doesn't mean we should give everyone something just to make it fair.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes, because then what you have is parents who will send a kid to school when they should be staying hoime because they'll get a perfect attendance award if they go to school, even if they are half dead.

I had perfect attendance all through HS. Not because I went to school sick..I just happened to be a pretty healthy kid who didn't "catch" much. Still am a fairly healthy person with a decent immune system. But had I been sick, I would have stayed home.

I always thought the perfect attendance stuff was implemented to discourage cutting school..be it by the child..or by the family. In other words--it sets a priority for school.

Of course some parents carry it to the extreme by sending Junior in sick so that Junior can pad the elementary resume..

In any case--that is what I thought it was designed for. What it has become is something different entirely.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Not to go too far off on a tangent, but...

Just curious as to why that's ridiculous? Wouldn't you rather have your child's teacher in his/her class than a substitute? Wouldn't you like to see your district save $. I'm also curious about what the "reward" is? My guess is that it's probably not much.

I know plenty of teachers who take their personal days no matter what: shopping before the holidays, a day out in the spring, an extra day when there are scheduled breaks. Your child benefits the most by encouraging teacher to not take personal days. I think this is much better than the companies that "force" leave on their workers to keep their books where they want them.

The teachers have absolutely ZERO control of whether their students will come to school.

That is why it is ridiculous. The reward is something like class pizza parties or something.

It isn't the teachers attendance---it is the students perfect attendance for which the teacher/class gets rewarded.

It has nothing to do with the teacher's personal attendance record.

That is why it is ridiculous.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I just find that odd that they would give a reward when they are given a set amout of personal days to take off each year. My mother got 10 days a year. sometimes she took thema and sometimes not. Im not saying its good or bad, just odd.

Again--sorry I did not make that clear--the reward is for class attendance, not the teacher's attendance--but the teacher does get "rewarded" based on their students' perfect attendance.

Basically--they might as well just have a lottery every year instead b/c it really is luck of the draw.

 

[soccerchick]

The teachers have absolutely ZERO control of whether their students will come to school.

That is why it is ridiculous. The reward is something like class pizza parties or something.

It isn't the teachers attendance---it is the students perfect attendance for which the teacher/class gets rewarded.

It has nothing to do with the teacher's personal attendance record.

That is why it is ridiculous.

Okay, THAT makes sense -- misread the first post. and yes, THAT IS ridiculous.

 

[Mermaid02]

The teachers have absolutely ZERO control of whether their students will come to school.

That is why it is ridiculous. The reward is something like class pizza parties or something.

It isn't the teachers attendance---it is the students perfect attendance for which the teacher/class gets rewarded.

It has nothing to do with the teacher's personal attendance record.

That is why it is ridiculous.

That is insane! I have never heard of such a policy.

I did go in to get my dd's homework once in 3rd grade. The teacher thanked me and said, "Maybe if she sees how much she missed, she'll drag herself in here next time." I looked at her and said, "Megan has pneumonia- I decide if she stays home. She won't be dragging herself anywhere."

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

That is insane! I have never heard of such a policy.

I did go in to get my dd's homework once in 3rd grade. The teacher thanked me and said, "Maybe if she sees how much she missed, she'll drag herself in here next time." I looked at her and said, "Megan has pneumonia- I decide if she stays home. She won't be dragging herself anywhere."

When we were discussing it, I myself thought I misheard b/c she said that she was going to miss the "perfect attendance award again".

Not something she is totally "upset" over--but rather...the silliness of something she has no control over.

This teacher didn't sound like it was something she would make the comment like the teacher above.

 

[MushyMushy]

I did the bolding ... but I wanted to stress that point!!!! Thank you!!!!! Kids need to learn how to handle disappointment b/c life is full of disappointments. Better to learn how to deal early on in life.

Plenty of kids know more disappointments in their short little lives than some of us adults will ever know. Why do they have to learn it in the classroom too? That's definitely not the message I want to send out, and I won't. I don't advocate celebrating laziness, but Anne says it all here:

Because quite simply, some children have learning disabilities that will keep them from ever making the honor roll, even though they work twice as hard as honor roll kids to just get passing grades.

I had a natural gift for many subjects, never studied and did minimal work, but got straight "A's." I was the laziest student you ever met, and got away with it. IMHO the girl in my class who had an IQ in the low 70's and struggled just to get passing grades deserved the accolades a lot more than I did.

Anne

Exactly! I always did the minimal amount of work possible to squeak by, but I still managed to get on the honor roll all the time. Woohoo. Yay me, let's celebrate the fact that I learn fast. I think it's a slap in the face to the kids who work and work and work and barely pass.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Plenty of kids know more disappointments in their short little lives than some of us adults will ever know. Why do they have to learn it in the classroom too? That's definitely not the message I want to send out, and I won't. I don't advocate celebrating laziness, but Anne says it all here:

.

Hey--I learned in First Grade that if I don't come in first, second, or third..I don't get a ribbon on field day.

I seemed to have escaped trauma from the experience.


(those threads will be coming soon once field day season rolls around.)


Do we really have that many now-adults who have been traumatized by such standards (rewards for good grades....) that have been around for decades?

It is not my problem that grades come easy to some people...but I busted my buns for the grades I got and am grateful to have the honor of being on the honor roll when warranted. It would have been a slap in the face to not be honored.

 

[BuckNaked]

Hey--I learned in First Grade that if I don't come in first, second, or third..I don't get a ribbon on field day.

I seemed to have escaped trauma from the experience.


(those threads will be coming soon once field day season rolls around.)


Do we really have that many now-adults who have been traumatized by such standards (rewards for good grades....) that have been around for decades?

It is not my problem that grades come easy to some people...but I busted my buns for the grades I got and am grateful to have the honor of being on the honor roll when warranted. It would have been a slap in the face to not be honored.

I agree 100%!!

 

[MushyMushy]

Do we really have that many now-adults who have been traumatized by such standards (rewards for good grades....) that have been around for decades?

I said this earlier in the thread, but I don't remember it being as much of a big deal (I used the words pomp and circumstance earlier) when I was a kid! It was done more discretely and there wasn't an opportunity for kids to feel left out. We didn't get handed a candy bar to eat in front of our classmates. We took home the certificates and whatnot.

Why does it have to be made into this big thing? But then, I feel the same way about kindergarten and middle school graduation too. That's a whole 'nuther thread though.

 

[BuckNaked]

I'm still hoping that someone, anyone, can explain to me what is bad about rewarding students for good performance?