Taking my nephew with us - trouble getting him in and out of the country?

[Tink78]

We fly on Sat morning, and it's me, DH, our 2 sons, my parents and also my 15 year old nephew.
I'm now worried we'll have issues getting him in and out of the country as he has a different surname from us and he's only 15.
Could this potentially lead to potential child abduction issues?
We're going to take his birth cert and a letter from my sister with us, but is that enough?
Anyone else had this issue and how did you overcome it?
I'm thinking if I've got his birth cert and a letter from my sister, I could have stolen his birth cert and written the letter myself so will this be sufficient enough for him to travel with us?
Thanks
Karen

 

[wilma-bride]

No problem at all. At worst, when you go through immigration, they might ask him how/whether he's related to you and why he's travelling with you. He is old enough to speak up if he is asked. My daughters both have different surnames to me and we have never been questioned.

 

[BudgieMama]

I've been told the letter from a parent is a good idea. If they are really worried, they can call her and confirm!

 

[2Tiggies]

Yeah as with what Joh says, he is old enough. They worry more about situations where one person is on a US passport, and bringing younger children in. A 25 year old is perfectly articulate. According to the webiste it is a recommendation but not a rule.

 

[foxxxy83]

I had similar issue... my little boy has his father's surname but his father left us when my DS was only 22 mths old and lives in a different country. My DS has no contact with his father at all so it was impossible to get a letter from my ex. I took his birth certificate to prove I am his mother and explained to the lovely customs officer who was very sympathetic. He took my son to one side and asked him who I was and then came back when he was satisfied with the answer... apparently they look at stuff like body language when the child answers. Hope this helps and that you all have a FAB time!

 

[tinkerpea]

I had similar issue... my little boy has his father's surname but his father left us when my DS was only 22 mths old and lives in a different country. My DS has no contact with his father at all so it was impossible to get a letter from my ex. I took his birth certificate to prove I am his mother and explained to the lovely customs officer who was very sympathetic. He took my son to one side and asked him who I was and then came back when he was satisfied with the answer... apparently they look at stuff like body language when the child answers. Hope this helps and that you all have a FAB time!

Can I ask why you had to explain anything? Did you bring the subject up or did they ask you 1st?

My twins do not have the same name as DH and myself of my oldest son,
We travelled loads and have never been asked anything about it.
Just curious to see if you mentioned it 1st to get it out the way through nerves or they approached you

 

[foxxxy83]

They asked me why we were travelling to the US and then when the customs officer saw we didn't share the same surname, he brought the subject up. Apparently they're tightening up on their checks now due to the amount of child abductions etc esp through custody legal battles. As I say though, as long as the child can tell any customs officer who you are/what relation you are to them, you're fine. I think they possibly take the child to one side to make sure the child feels safe to tell them if he or she has been abducted (just my opinion though). As I say, the customs officer was REALLY nice about it so please don't worry as you will be fine, it's purely routine

 

[edinburghlass]

I had similar issue... my little boy has his father's surname but his father left us when my DS was only 22 mths old and lives in a different country. My DS has no contact with his father at all so it was impossible to get a letter from my ex. I took his birth certificate to prove I am his mother and explained to the lovely customs officer who was very sympathetic. He took my son to one side and asked him who I was and then came back when he was satisfied with the answer... apparently they look at stuff like body language when the child answers. Hope this helps and that you all have a FAB time!

Was this at Manchester airport? My sister is going via Manchester with her 2 step children, one 4 and one 6 and at those ages there is no way she will allow them to be questioned without her there.

 

[2Tiggies]

Was this at Manchester airport? My sister is going via Manchester with her 2 step children, one 4 and one 6 and at those ages there is no way she will allow them to be questioned without her there.

I wouldn't worry. I have flown from Manchester with my DD and never had issues on the UK side.

Ditto in the USA. I find it quite incredible that a customs official would question such a young child. I am fairly confident that most parents would have expressed some form of objection to this. I have traveled extensively with DD, many of those trips in and out of the USA, as a single parent without her father and never been questioned or asked to produce anything.

To say I am surprised that a 6 year old was asked questions at a US border control point, to say the least

 

[foxxxy83]

Why do I suddenly feel like the world's worst parent for not objecting?? The guy was a customs official and it does say after you submit your ESTA form that they have the right to deny entry if they aren't satisfied. At the end of the day, I could see my son and he could see me. I knew he wasn't being harmed and was in no danger. Any customs officer has the right to search and/or question any person child or adult until they are satisfied. To be fair to the guy, he's just doing his job and if this was an abducted child then their parents would be going stir crazy with worry. As a parent, wouldn't we want this to happen so that if our child ever did get abducted, they wouldn't get far. My ex has threatened to kidnap my son previously and has a history of mental illness and prolonged drug abuse. If he ever did take my son, I'd welcome this kind of questioning. Sorry for the rant but to say that, as a parent you would've questioned it, is an insult to my parenting skills! So long as the child can answer simple questions about who you are/relation to you and what you're going to do while in Florida, you'll be ABSOLUTELY fine!

 

[2Tiggies]

I'm sorry but you have completely misunderstood

I do not object to cautionary measures being taken by government officials. I was not suggesting that you erred in any way as a parent

I was simply pointing out that in my time on these boards I have yet to hear of a young child being questioned. I find it inappropriate given the age of the child and I can assure you it is not common practice. Producing evidence of parentage or guardianship is not a US Government requirement. This is a suggested guideline.

Child abduction cases, as stated are generally a risk when the parent or adult with the child has leave to remain or citizenship in the United States. It is also unusual for a customs official to engage in conversation on the matter of child abductions as it was clearly irrelevant to your case. I can only assume you were seen by a trainee perhaps?

I am sorry you took offence to my post and it was not intended to offend, but this thread was posted by someone who had concerns and is looking for information as to what is required and I feel it entirely appropriate that he/she is made aware that what happened in your case is not standard practice.

 

[MrRomance]

Our children are adopted and we travelled to the US several times before the final adoption order was granted. The children both had the same surname but it was a different surname to ours. We took a letter from their social worker etc. but were never asked about it. It is best to have a letter from the parent and perhaps a copy of their passport to verify the signature on the letter just in case, but it's unlikely you'll need it and the 15 year old can verify information if asked too.

 

[foxxxy83]

Well I'm sorry for taking offence and you're right, it probably isn't commonplace and the OP was asking for info. I did however state in both my responses that so long as the child knows who you are if asked (be it in front of you or to one side - simply because it's not impossible although extremely rare), there will be no problem. Anyway, am not here to start WW3. Hope you all have a nice day! And to the OP, you REALLY WON'T have a problem! Enjoy your hol!

 

[VailaTigger]

I travelled with my DH and two step-sons before we were married, and when I had a different surname (so obviously not 'mummy').

We had a signed and witnessed letter from mummy, saying she agreed to us taking the boys on holiday, and it listed the hotels and flights we would be using.

We were advised at the time to get this 'notarised' - signed by a solicitor - but the nice chap at the US Customs desk said the letter from mummy would have been fine, no need for the solicitor.

The US Customs man asked us what the relationship was, because I had a different surname, and was more than happy that we had thought ahead and had the letter from mummy.

HTH!

 

[irisheyes123]

I have traveled to Florida/NYC at least 10 times with children who are not mine age range 1 year old to 17 year old and have never once been asked for anything. I just explain who they are and why they are with us. I do bring a letter with me signed by the parent(s) just in case of medical treatment being needed but that's it. I would not worry about this just enjoy the build up to your holiday and holiday

 

[Tink78]

Thanks guys. Sounds like we will be just fine then.

 

[tinkerpea]

I'm sorry but you have completely misunderstood

I do not object to cautionary measures being taken by government officials. I was not suggesting that you erred in any way as a parent

I was simply pointing out that in my time on these boards I have yet to hear of a young child being questioned. I find it inappropriate given the age of the child and I can assure you it is not common practice. Producing evidence of parentage or guardianship is not a US Government requirement. This is a suggested guideline.

Child abduction cases, as stated are generally a risk when the parent or adult with the child has leave to remain or citizenship in the United States. It is also unusual for a customs official to engage in conversation on the matter of child abductions as it was clearly irrelevant to your case. I can only assume you were seen by a trainee perhaps?

I am sorry you took offence to my post and it was not intended to offend, but this thread was posted by someone who had concerns and is looking for information as to what is required and I feel it entirely appropriate that he/she is made aware that what happened in your case is not standard practice.

I have to say I thought exactly the same as you,which is why I asked if foxy had brought the subject up 1st,
I can not imagine a customs officer asking any questions of that sort to a child that young as it could scare them no matter how close standing you still are, I know some kids who would just look blank at the officer and say nothing!

 

[tennisfan]

Never taken my niece to the US but when we came back from Disneyland Paris with her immigration questioned the different surnames, fortunately my sister had written a letter explaining who we were nd they were satisfied with that. That was at the port in Calais, can't fault them for owing their job

 

[2Tiggies]

Never taken my niece to the US but when we came back from Disneyland Paris with her immigration questioned the different surnames, fortunately my sister had written a letter explaining who we were nd they were satisfied with that. That was at the port in Calais, can't fault them for owing their job

The point here was that the customs officer apparently took a 6 year old child aside. Normally, if they wanted clarification, the parent would be questioned first and given that she had produced a birth certificate I was questioning the need to engage with the wee boy in that manner at all.