Taking Disney Trip from Kids. Need Advice!

[katyjeka]

I thought it was a little nuts when I first read it!!! I've never felt the boards a place to post info on my children's behavior. It's an issue for dh and myself and one we would never discuss with strangers. I also agree with above, a vacation is not an award, its an important time for our family to spend time away from everyday life. Dad isn't concerned with work problems, and mom isn't busy with everyday life, and kids are away from all distractions. We need it as much, if not more, than they do.

 

[Burnedout]

Guys.... the OP already came back and decided to take the kids on the trip and deal with the behavior in another way. She also said they just moved and she thinks that is why they are acting out...

Not really sure why we are still giving advice/arguing this

For the sake of conversation?

 

[Disneyaddictz]

I have an 11 year old and I have days where I just can't take another moment of her spoiled,
Selfish,
Entitled behavior. It makes it difficult to want to spend so much heart and time into doing something special so I get it. I would just go alone with the DH, you don't need to mention but if your compelled tell them you and dad need some time together. If they ask maybe you can mention that their behavior lately hasn't made you feel so compelled to do nice things.... I don't know there's no book that's for sure good luck

 

[SEA333]

I didn't read through everything so I'm sorry if this has been said or decided already, but in my house, we try to keep consequences "same-day" for the 8 and 10 year old, and make the punishment fit the crime.

So, using those parameters, no, I would not take the trip away. At their ages, they are only doing what you as parents are allowing them to do. Don't take that the wrong way...what I mean is, they are not old enough to get into any sort of trouble that is not in their immediate environment. Unlike a teen who has the autonomy and relative freedom to get into trouble with things often beyond the parents control, 8-10 year olds do not. I am assuming that they are still monitored at all times by an adult? This makes it easier to modify their behavior because you are still relatively in control of what they are exposed to.

Here is what I would do:
1. Call a family meeting. Explain to them that you would LOVE to do fun things with them (like a trip to Disney), but you have to be sure that they can behave on a vacation.
2. in order to practice for proper vacation behavior, you need to see it at home first.
3. Here are the rules: No backtalking. Be respectful. Be kind. Be helpful. Do what Mom and Dad tell you to do. These rules are now FAMILY rules and everyone must follow them.
4. Consequences for breaking a family rule will be: (insert punishments that fit the crime, like "mom asked you to empty the dishwasher and you pouted and backtalked. The consequence for this is that you now have to empty the dishwasher AND sweep the floor." (make sure the punishment fits the crime.)
5. Follow through - Every. Single. Time. it is exhausting. The kids will feel like you are picking on them. They will fight back. You will want to stop. But DON'T. It will get better!

ETA: I now had time to go back through and read a little - I'm glad you decided to go, but I would still put a behavior plan of action in place...nobody wants to live in a home where kids are out of control!

 

[Unearned Happiness]

Ultimately it's up to your parenting style.

I personally don't see vacations as a reward/punishment for behavior. It's meant to be a time to spend time and have fun together as a family. Time with my kids and letting them know I want to be with them and have fun with them isn't dictated by their behavior. I'll do that no matter how bad they are.

Yes, bad behavior deserves a punishment. So make it fit the crime. If you want to take away privileges at home or limit activities in the parks, go for it.