Taking children shopping

[Planogirl]

Some people do enjoy grocery shopping. My mother absolutely loved it! You just never know.

 

[chobie]

I have 4 children and have gone through all kinds of experiences with them. Like I said, if it's something like eating in a restaurant, watching a movie, or hanging at the library and my child started to act up we left. Those are "experiences" that I want to make sure that others are allowed to enjoy. But grocery shopping? Most people do it because it has to be done, not because it's their idea of fun. Not that I dread grocery shopping, but it doesn't give my great feelings of enjoyment, either. A fussy child wouldn't do anything one way or another to the job of picking out the cloves of garlic, the right ice cream, and grabbing that gallon of milk. It doesn't mean that I like to listen to screaming--who does? And with my own kids I tried to reduce the problems by bringing snacks when they were real little, getting the free cookie, bringing a well rested child, etc, etc. If I were to see a fussy child I wouldn't think anything less of the parent, but I would have sympathy for them and if I said anything it would be a, "been there, done that, and it does eventually improve" type comment.

I agree. It would be selfish to let your kids disturb others at a restaruant or movie while you continued to enjoy your self...but shopping at Super Wallmart?

 

[Planogirl]

I agree. It would be selfish to let your kids disturb others at a restaruant or movie while you continued to enjoy your self...but shopping at Super Wallmart?

Those ear piercing shrieks can get old anywhere. At least my son's did.

I just felt that it was better for my sanity and his and everyone else's to remove him during a full-fledged tantrum.

 

[kbkids]

I agree. It would be selfish to let your kids disturb others at a restaruant or movie while you continued to enjoy your self...but shopping at Super Wallmart?

I agree - not much I find less enjoyable than Super Walmart - oh wait, that's the other thread!!


I do remember being in Home Depot a while back. Our refrigerator had died, and we needed another one like now!! Had no choice but to take the kids, and of course, that's the last thing they want to shop for. They were driving me crazy because DH and I couldn't concentrate. Ended telling one to put your hand on this refrigerator - took the other down about three refrigerators away and told him the same thing (both facing the opposite direction) - "Now, if either one of you stops touching your refrigerator, no TV or video games for the next two weeks!" They were so quiet trying to remember not to move their hand - it took all DH and I could do to keep from cracking up!

 

[Nancy]

I dare say that the people behind me in the grocery line were glad that I DIDN'T take my screaming 2 yr old out of the store when he got mad because he wanted to get out of the cart. I had a huge cart-load of groceries. He had been whiny at times throughout the store, but you know, groceries are a necessary evil. So, we get to the check out counter - I've got the groceries about half way emptied onto the conveyor belt. He starts screaming literally because he wants to get out. No way is he getting out to run around while I'm trying to unload groceries. I give him his cup - he throws it down. I pick it up and put it back in the cart. I give him his toy he brought - he throws it down. I pick it up and put it back in the cart. That's it - I start unloading the rest of the groceries. He screams the entire time. Should I have left all of the groceries there and took him out the store?? I dare say that would have made the people behind me even madder.

I've been the cashier in a situation like that and I will try the best I can to help the Mom out. Let her deal with the baby/toddler and I'll unload the cart, or I'll try to distract the child while Mom unloads. I remember one thime a child about three was just being miserable. I smiled at him and said "Hey there is no crying allowed in this lane, you have to be quiet." I think I stunned him so bad he actually got quiet! The Mom said thank you, got her groceries and left the store. I do try and put myslef in their shoes. But some Moms/Dads don't make any effort at all with their kids. I saw a Mom walking in the store, a child no more than 2 years old chasing after her crying Mommy and reaching his arms up. She kept saying "I am NOT picking you up, you can walk" (she had nothing in her hands except her cell phone and purse) He little legs were moving so fast to keep up with her. I felt so bad for him, he looked so sad. If she didn't want to carry him she could have used a cart. THose are the types I complain about to others, the oblivious ones.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Wait until you have kids, then you'll know.

I used to feel the way you do. Now I have 2 kids who are older teens. When I see a mom with a crying or screaming kid, I just think "Thank God that isn't me" and I feel sorry for her.

Oft times a parent starts out the trip with a happy child and then, for whatever reason, the child gets cranky. The parent still needs the items they have to purchase. In the occasion that a parent is taking a sick or tired child out, yes it would be better if they didn't have to.

I wouldn't complain until you walk a mile in their shoes.

(Dons flame resistant suit )

I haven't read all of the thread yet (I will get to it I promise! )

Anyway I totally agree with you, except my kids are still young and sometimes shoping trips go south, and getting right out isn't an option. Infact if you do that enough the kid learns "act up, get what you want, mom leaves the store." now for my 4 year old that is punishment (she likes shopping mostly). Sometimes it really is just a phase and my youngest gets over it when she figures out I am not taking her out of the stroller or cart.

I agree about hearing other kids scream, I just think "Thank God that isn't my kid and I don't have to do anything about it."

Now I am happy to say that most of the time my kids aren't screaming when out in puplic (for longer then a few min at least.) but as I found on our last trip to WDW, they are growing and sometimes go through phases, it can start at any time with out warning. Mostly the baby will put up a good show for a few min, then get bored and move on. Up and leaving isn't always an option.

I think the don't have kids line was kind of funny considering the situation. I might of said the same thing. I think it was better then yelling at or abusing her kids in puplic.

I'll join that "I wouldn't complain until you walk a mile in their shoes." club!

 

[chobie]

Those ear piercing shrieks can get old anywhere. At least my son's did.

I just felt that it was better for my sanity and his and everyone else's to remove him during a full-fledged tantrum.

Part of living in a society is putting up with other people IMO. If you felt the need to leave, the so be it. I just don't think its necessary in a grocery store and I wouldn't be upset if your kid was screaming, I would just be glad it wasn't mine this time.

I really don't understand this intolerance of children.

 

[Planogirl]

Part of living in a society is putting up with other people IMO. If you felt the need to leave, the so be it. I just don't think its necessary in a grocery store and I wouldn't be upset if your kid was screaming, I would just be glad it wasn't mine this time.

I really don't understand this intolerance of children.

As I already explained, it was my method of teaching him and it worked quite nicely. I didn't like his screaming and I didn't expect others to. I wanted to teach him that it was wrong and I can say that my mission was accomplished.

This worked for me, it might not for others.

 

[chobie]

As I already explained, it was my method of teaching him and it worked quite nicely. I didn't like his screaming and I didn't expect others to. I wanted to teach him that it was wrong and I can say that my mission was accomplished.

This worked for me, it might not for others.

Right and as others pointed out taking them out of the store when they are screaming because they don't want to be in the store--is just giving them what they were screaming for.

That and for most people's sanity just tyring to get your groceries and leave ASAP is what is needed.

Obviously, no one likes to hear children screaming anywhere, but anyone who is not completely intolerant can deal with it in some public places and be sympathetic rather then judgmental. JMHO

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

Why do some mothers/parents feel the need to stroll through a large store with children if they know they are going to make them miserable??

I didn't read all the responses, but for me, the answer to your question is that I have guardianship of my niece (3) and I am raising her by myself. I have no other choice than to take her with me when I do my errands and I cannot always predict her mood. Last night we were in Target and she was just awful. I did not know going in that it was going to turn into a whine fest. But I had stuff I had to get and so I did. Believe me, there's nothing I would have rather done than to crawl into a hole. And I hardly strolled. I whipped through there as fast as I could.

Anyway, as you can see, the question you posed does not have a black and white answer.

 

[btass]

Mine had a particularly effective one IMHO. She'd pull me over to the side and whisper in my ear that if I did one more thing wrong she was going to give me a spanking when we got home. QUOTE]

I use the one above, somewhat. I have a DS7 who gets in a very stern tone of voice "you are acting completly inappropriately and if you don't stop there will be serious trouble!"

He is not ever allowed to act up in a store. PERIOD.

 

[Mari annie]

I watch kids during the day and have two of my own.

My advice is: if your kids are tired/hungry don't take them out.
Keep them at home.
Wait until they are fed/slept before you take them out.
As adults we get tired, so kids get tired quicker.

There's nothing worse than going out and hearing kids crying for food
or pleading to go home.
Saddens me.

There can't be anything that much of an emergency
one has to "buy".....

Going to Target or K Mart is not an emergency...............


2 weeks and counting...............

 

[chobie]

I watch kids during the day and have two of my own.

My advice is: if your kids are tired/hungry don't take them out.
Keep them at home.
Wait until they are fed/slept before you take them out.
As adults we get tired, so kids get tired quicker.

There's nothing worse than going out and hearing kids crying for food
or pleading to go home.
Saddens me.

There can't be anything that much of an emergency
one has to "buy".....

Going to Target or K Mart is not an emergency...............


2 weeks and counting...............

Maybe not an emergency, but neither is it an "experience" that people should expect to never see children behaving less then perfectly and get freaked out and judgmental when they do.

 

[poohbears5]

I have 5 children and I have left a store during a melt down brought the offender home and punished that child so that they would learn it was unacceptable to act like that.

 

[chobie]

I have 5 children and I have left a store during a melt down brought the offender home and punished that child so that they would learn it was unacceptable to act like that.

Wow.

 

[poohbears5]

real cute

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Going to Target or K Mart is not an emergency...............

So you interview the offending parties and clarify that their child doesn't have an earache and is having a script filled, that someone has an illness and can't sleep and mom had to take them to the store to get some medicine to help them sleep, that the child forgot a last minute assignment and they had to go get supplies.

How do you presume to know that they have absolutely no valid reason for being in those stores?

Maybe mom is single or dad is out of town and she's tapped out on babysitter money? Did you ever think of that?

FTR--I don't like whining kids either...I handle my kids my way...but I won't presume that there is no "need" to be at the stores you mention. BUt good grief, we aren't talking Park Avenue or Rodeo Drive here.

I appreciate moms who do handle their children--and I do (to myself) at moms who seem to have no control--but good grief..I've had my moments with my kids as well and unless you no precisely what is going on....you really cannot say they should or should not be there.

 

[Forevryoung]

Wow, I didn't know that I was starting something so big!

This was NOT in a grocery store or Target or anything and these mothers were definitely not the "run in and get what we need and run out" type. Both times they were dilly-dallying through the designer pocketbook section . Both times the kids were not toddlers but older. I wasn't judging the situation, I am sure I will be in their shoes one day, I was just surprised.

I will be the first to entertain a cranky child or teenager or friend, I am known for carrying around cool stuff in my pocketbook (stickers included) for whatever situation may arrise.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Then I would agree that a designer pocketbook is not an emergency .

 

[JerryMoCricketsGal]

ok..I have a 13 year old...was she an angel in every store we went to? HECKKKKKKKKKKKK NOOOOOOOOOO...would i remove myself and her if she had a fit? HECKKKKKKKKKKKK YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I CANNOT fathom how anyone would think it's ok for their child to act up in a store. Perhaps I was a bad mother that never had to run out for diapers because I chose to use CLOTH diapers? So I don't want to hear that you HAD to run to the store for ANY reason.

If your kid is acting up...REMOVE THEM..

I was a single mother, no baby sitters when i needed to 'go to the store', I just simply made sure that if i needed formula, i STOCKED UP..i didn't say 'i need diapers' because I did the cloth diaper thing..sorry..it's lazy not to...

On my way home from work I would buy formula or what I needed for the house to MAKE SURE i did not bring a baby to the store. There are wayyy too many germs to be exposed to, wayyy to many people, and wayyyyyyyyy too much noise. I was a SINGLE MOTHER and accomplished this.

so all you people that say they need to take their screaming heathens to a store to shop..get over it...leave them at home or don't get mad when people sneeze on them. If you don't want the parents that can control their children and can teach them manners (like a two year old having a pacifier..what is THAT???that's bad parenting is what it is)then I would suggest using the same credit card you use to pay the internet to pay for a grocery store that delivers. There are many of them.

I don't want to see your out of control kids and have it blamed on ADD or some other crap...swat the kids butt...pay attention to them, get off the computer, and then maybe they will respect you.