Taking a driver's license from an elderly driver

[Jennasis]

COuld you siphon the gas out of his car or let the air out of the tires?

One of my uncles disabled the car by putting it up on blocks and taking the tires off so my grandfather couldn't drive anymore.

 

[NotUrsula]

If the car and keys were there he just took off with no license. If the car was there but no keys -- he somehow could remember how to hot wire a car! The car had to go too, even though my MIL could still drive safely.

...

Just FYI, in a situation like this there is technology that can help. There are now ignition interlock systems that use fingerprints. Here's one: http://cleared2drive.com/under-the-influence-faq.html

 

[kaytieeldr]

What if is car wouldn't start? And there was no way to repair it?

You mean, like, disconnect the battery AND put a note on it for the AAA/tow truck/repair person telling them to tell the vehicle owner that the car is beyond repair? I heard that one on the radio last week!!!!

 

[bettymae1121]

My aunt and uncle just had that talk not too long ago with my grandma (93, still mentally with us but physically it's just not happening) and although she wasn't happy about it, she gave up driving on her own. My aunt found a wonderful lady who comes over to clean her home and take her to run errands two or three times a week, and my aunts, uncles, and cousins in the area are always happy to help out if she needs a rid someplace when her helper isn't there. Heck I offered to drive up on the weekends (45 minutes one way, not too bad but it eliminates helping out during the week) but Grandma doesn't want to "put me out". I'd love for her to talk me up on the offer but she won't hear of it!

In IL, once you're over a certain age the DMV tests you much more often, and I suspect that she knew she wasn't going to pass her next test anyway, and didn't want to be embarassed, so that's why she gave it up without guilting my aunt and uncle...well...guilt them too much anyway.

Check the DMV rules in your state, see what (if anything) can be done to take away your Dad's license if he refuses to do so. Hopefully he'll do it on his own once you talk to him, but you should know the law incase he won't.

It's not an easy task, one I don't look forward to with my own father. I suspect both me and my two brothers will need to gang up on my Dad and even then I foresee a big battle over it.

ETA: I just looked up IL's rules, and thought I'd post them in case anyone is curious. This seems like a really good way for states to go, it checks frequently to make sure seniors still can drive safely and allows for certain partial restrictions like daytrime driving only, or not being allowed to drive during rush hour, which still allows a person to drive but keeps them off the road at busy times or when it's harder to see. And the IL DMV offices are very senior friendly, you can even make appointments so you don't have to wait in line!

LICENSE RENEWAL FOR SENIOR DRIVERS

Illinois drivers can renew their licenses for 4 years between ages 69 and 80; up to the age of 86, they can renew for 2 years; after 87 years the license needs to be renewed annually. Illinois drivers who are under 74 years can opt for the Safe Driver Renewal. Drivers who are 74 years of age or older at the time their current driver license expires are generally required to renew their license in person at a local VSD office. All drivers have to take a vision test (see below). All drivers will be asked to take a written knowledge test every 8 years, unless they have no traffic violations. If your driving records indicate an accident, then you will need to pass a written and/or driving test. Drivers over 75 years have to take a road test at the time of renewal. In preparation for this, you can review the Illinois Drivers Handbook, popularly known as Illinois Rules of the Road and take practice tests before going for your license renewal. The Super Seniors Program also helps to improve driving skills of seniors.

THE RESTRICTED DRIVER LICENSE

Sometimes, a physical or mental condition can impair a driver's ability to safely operate a motor vehicle. The most common of these conditions is poor vision, but others which may be age-related include cognitive skills like memory, coordination and flexibility.

In some circumstances, older drivers may have a restriction placed on their driver license. The types of restrictions vary, and are based on the results of your vision test, driving test, and the driving examiner's assessment. A restricted driver license is intended to ensure that you are driving within your abilities. Some of the most common license restrictions are those that:

•Require eyeglasses, corrective contact lenses, or bioptic telescopic lens to be worn at certain times.
•Permit driving from sunrise to sunset only, or prohibit driving during rush hour.
•Restrict the geographical area in which a person is permitted to drive, or prohibit freeway driving.
•Require special mechanical devices, or an additional side mirror on the vehicle.
•Require extra support in order to ensure a safe and correct driving position

 

[SandrA9810]

It's sad to see how many elderly drivers get in fits over the government trying to say when they're too old to drive. For those competent, I don't see how going to the DMV to take a test is that hard, besides giving up a day to do it. Truthfully, they should create a "senior DMV center" to handle senior citizens and their needs specifically.

There's no magic age when driving declines. So they have to start at the lower end, which seems to offend those just reaching "senior age".

 

[dodukes]

I think just taking a driver's license away, by the doctor, DMV or other authority may not always solve the problem in every case. The person may still decide to drive without the license. That may be a starting point, but if someone really wants to drive and is upset or furious, they may just go ahead without a license.

Hopefully you & your family can come up with alternatives: taxi, public transportation, paratransit, friends, family, church volunteers, etc. It's a very difficult situation for him & you but hopefully, in time, he will come to understand that it's for his safety and for others.

My grandfather did just that. Granted it wasnt that out and about thank goodness, but rather down the block to teh Navarro to play lotto. I'm not sure how my mom found out, I think when he mentioned he had already played a particular lotto here thats seasonal. My mom had a fit. I dont think he did it often but stil it was done so yeah, taking away the license may not always be best if they know how to find the keys (or i bet my grandfather had doubles...LOL)

 

[walden]

Just FYI, in a situation like this there is technology that can help. There are now ignition interlock systems that use fingerprints. Here's one: http://cleared2drive.com/under-the-influence-faq.html

Wow, that is great! Thanks for alerting people. Isn't technology wonderful?

Those didn't exist when we needed one. Sadly, my MIL has since passed away and my FIL is now in an Alzheimer's Unit in a nursing home. He still wants to drive though, and always goes to the driver's side of the car whenever we take him out.

 

[Carnie]

A friend of mine and his wife were recently run over by an 92 year old driver in a supermarket parking lot. They were in the crosswalk, and he came barrelling through. He claimed his feet got mixed up for a minute and he hit the gas instead of the brake.

He also said he had never gotten into an accident before, so it should be no big deal. He said he will continue driving.

Meanwhile, my friend spent weeks in the hospital, and bunch of weeks in a rehab facility and faces years of PT and OT to try to get back to some semblance of a normal life.

Yes, Mr Old Man Driver, it's like golf. You get a mulligan or two and move on.

 

[luvavacation]

Do you go with your parent to the doctor? If not, can you call the doctor's office and mention your concerns, so the doctor is aware and can perhaps help your loved one realize that driving is no longer safe for him? If you can somehow have the doctor tell him that he should no longer drive, there will still be drama, but at least you won't have all of the blame placed upon you.

I recently went through the same thing with my mom. She was diagnosed with dementia 2 years ago, a week before she was off to renew her license. She of course felt that there was nothing wrong with her.

My mom failed the tests at first, passing only on the last try (I can't remember how many times you can take the written test, I think it might be 6?). Same with the driving test - failed all until the very last one, and the instructor happened to be an older gentleman that apparently was won over by my mom's tears.

One year ago, my mom had a neuropsych evaluation, and was told she needed to follow-up with a senior services rep that specifically works with elderly drivers to make sure they are safe. My mom never did this, because of course the doctor was crazy.

One year later, after 2 accidents where some phantom car apparently ran her off the road each time, getting lost a few times, running into mailboxes and the edge of the garage, and twice being pulled over for driving under the influence (she is also a prescription drug addict) and somehow having the officers take pity on her and not haul her away, her psychiatrist finally told her this August she was no longer allowed to drive. However, I had to take away her keys. That was really hard to do, there was a lot of anger and awful words said to me, but I just kept telling her I was following the doctor's orders. That was all I would say to her, arguing about it when your loved one is yelling at you doesn't help at all. Just keep repeating "doctor's orders" and remind yourself you are helping your loved one, not hurting him.

After that, my mom took too many drugs again and started drinking, ended up no longer being allowed to live in her home again, and is presently in assisted living until this Wednesday, when she moves in with me. I will be here to drive her where she needs to go, my brother took the car out of state to his place, and she has no idea how to drive my hybrid since there is no "key" (sensor fob only, safely hidden in my purse's deep compartment).

I wish you lots of luck, and lots of strength. If you can have a doctor say the tough words, it would be best. You will still have to deal with the anger and taking away the keys, but hopefully some of the blame will fall on the doctor. As previously mentioned, make sure there are other ways for your loved one to get around, so they don't feel confined. I think the loss of freedom to go where you want, when you want, is hard to accept, but hopefully you can put a nice spin on this, and mention that you guys will spend more time together going places? Not sure if that will help, it didn't help with my mom, but maybe for someone else it might?

Good luck. It will be tough, but you will be ok, just remind yourself this is for everyone's safety. And remember, "Doctor's orders!"

 

[DisneyMim]

This is a tough one. We have been very lucky because my FIL and my Mother both decided on their own that they were ready to give up driving. I think what made the decision somewhat a little easier (and believe me it's never an easy decision) was that they knew that they had people they could count on. My husband stepped right in and drove my inlaws everywhere they had to go, did the shopping, etc. They both have passed on. I am doing the same for my mother now. I do all her shopping, appointments, etc. It's not easy, but it has to be done. When you start talking about the subject you really really need to have a backup plan for how they will shop, get to appointments, etc. We were lucky in that we all live within a half hour of each other and both my inlaws and mother lived/live in a very busy big city. I tired to get my mother to get involved with what is called "the ride" here. You register the person and then you can call and they will pick them up and bring them anywhere they want to go. It's basically a cab service. My mother wanted no part of it. I actually registered her and paid the fee, but she has yet to use it in two years and I don't think she will ever use it. You should look into something like this. The biggest thing is that they don't want to lose their independence so that's why it's so important to let them see that they can use other forms of transportation. Good Luck, trust me, it's not easy, but certainly doable.

 

[LindaG4458]

Keep in mind that some elders will drive anything that slightly resembles a vehicle to get where they want to go. Up here an an elderly gentleman was arrested a few years ago for driving his lawn mower in traffic. His destination? The local liquor store.... They can be very ingenious. Those types of things need to be restricted, too.

 

[golfgal]

Any teenagers in the family with a new license? Maybe in exchange for use of Grandpa's car they could be responsible for getting Grandpa to the store, run errands, etc.? I know my kids would be up for doing something like this.

 

[j's m]

Totally agree with this...taking away the little piece of plastic in a wallet means NOTHING to most people. You need to take the keys away from any car they have access to (and check/recheck for that spare key in the super secret hiding place.)

I was able to find 4 sets of keys for 87 year old MIL.

After several falls, she was diagnosed with irregular heartbeat and her cardiologist agreed she could not drive until her recheck and making sure she was taking her meds. We were just going to leave the car, but I was afraid she might have more keys hidden away, so we took it.

Unfortunately, she fell again, and then we put her in a nursing home, since her dementia really got worse.

My DM was 86 when she got in an accident and totaled the car. She was not at fault, the 87 year old driver ran a stop sign. But I refused to let her get a new car, and moved her to assisted living.

 

[MushyMushy]

Any teenagers in the family with a new license? Maybe in exchange for use of Grandpa's car they could be responsible for getting Grandpa to the store, run errands, etc.? I know my kids would be up for doing something like this.

I love that idea! We have another year to go until my youngest is driving, but she would totally go for that. The oldest works 10-12 hour night shifts and sleeps all day, so it's not a possibility for him. I'm just hoping we can convince him to stay in the assisted living place permanently and then it'll be a non issue.

 

[PigletsPal2]

I spared my DDs from having to make that decision by giving up driving myself. I can drive (and have done) if absolutely necessary, but I feel my reflexes and vision aren't what they should be and I'm very uncomfortable driving. I had to drive about 5 miles to meet DDs when the car they were driving conked out (my car, my AAA membership) and I was scared spitless! I hadn't driven in more than a year. Luckily, they're available to drive me to wherever I need to go when DH is out of town, then he drives when he's home. I don't consider myself "elderly" - I'm 63 - just aware of my limitations.

Queen Colleen

 

[IFLOSIRI]

With my father i proceeded to disconect the battery and then therefore the car would not run. Or remove it,

 

[Abbie]

You can have a kill ignition switch installed, we did that for my dad. He had to go into an alzheimer's facility shortly after so he never did drive again.

On the other hand, my mother's 95 year old "boyfriend" is an excellent driver but per the DMV had to be retested. He didn't pass the eye test so they took his license. He promptly went to his private eye doctor, who certified his eyes were just fine so now he's in the process of reclaiming his license. He is so lost without it, just can't stand that bit of independence taken away from him.

It's such a difficult thing!