Swearing Children

[grinningghost]

Here's another one of those "do as I say, not as I do". DH swears way too much (and he knows it). I use swear words very sparingly, they pop out when I do something really stupid like drop a whole casserole on the floor.

DD is not allowed to swear at home, but we know she does with her friends. What can you do, follow them around? Hopefully, she has learned what situations make swearing TOTALLY inappropriate, and I think she has. She doesn't swear around me, so that's lesson #1 learned to my satisfaction.

 

[onecoolmama]

I agree with Dakota_Lynn to a point. For me, while i would more then likely suggest to my child a different word to say...a cuss word used in an appropriate context one in a while is ok.

Now, I almost never curse (i didnt grow up hearing it) and DH starts and stops himself before he gets the word out. Let me be the first to say if I ever heard my kids "cussing like saliors" I would put the soap in the mouths.

I agree with others, if those are the only word someone uses they sound extremely unintelligent. The words stupid, moron, and others that are insulting are NOT allowed in my house.

My cousin has called her mom a B%#$# twice...but they all grew up cursing and it broke her mothers heart. Actually, my couisn is 23 and did this is past December for the second time. My aunt said it took all her energy not to throw her daughter out for Christmas.

To curse at a video game for my kids..I think that is too far. They can say "Oh No" or "oh Man" but cursing about that...seems a little extreme for me. But like I said, I never grew up hearing it.

 

[2bemarried]

I'll preface my opinion by first stating...I do not have kids...so my opinion isn't that of a mother. However...I am the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family and tend to mother several of my cousins.

At first thought I would have said No...I won't allow my kids to cuss..but after hearing Dakota_Lynn's perspective I changed my mind. Reason being...cussing wasn't allowed in our house either. My dad always cussed, but I knew not to repeat it b/c it was something grown-ups were allowed to do. As I got older I tested the waters on cussing. It was a thrill to say it outside of home and not get caught..so I did it more often. By the time I was 14 saying d@mn and $__t was allowed in the house if I was really mad. One thing my father made clear was that I could never say F___ in front of him. If I did...he would slap me. Even saying flubbed was against the rules. To this day...I still don't say that in front of him. Every child has to know where the boundaries are and not to cross them. Dakota_Lynn has made that clear to her child. Sounds like it's working too.
Now for the parents that just let the kids run wild cussing all day long with no limits at all.....they should be horse whipped j/k

That's my .02 worth.

 

[DoeWDW]

I expect my kids to express themselves the same way I do - without cussing. They know there are other words in the dictionary to express one's feelings.

They also know that cussing is a lot like any other behavior - it can become a habit that is hard to break once started.

I expect them not to curse around me. If I heard them, I would not yell or punish, but I may ask them if that's really what they meant to say (with a wink and smile). If it got to be a habit, then we'd certainly look at ways to curb it.

Will they curse when out with their friends - probably. But at least they know there are some people in the world who choose not to curse, and they can choose that too, in spite of all the media and their friends telling them that cursing is OK. The media and their friends will try to tell them LOTS of words, behaviors, etc. are OK in spite of what we as parents tell them - I just want them to know that they can make a choice.

If others handle the situation differently, that's fine too. My kids definitely have heard those words, but not in my house. Doesn't make us better - just makes us different.

 

[nativetxn]

I never allowed Travis to swear around me. I'm sure that he did but he learned not to do it in my presence.

 

[gina2000]

My son doesn't swear in front of me but I've heard "Damn it" come out of his mouth when he thinks no one is listening. I correct him and move on.

Cursing is something all kids want to try to get away with. I don't make a huge fuss so that "the urge to get away with it" doesn't monopolize his life and his vocabulary.

 

[CindyKansas]

My DH swears enough for the 3 of us. I don't like it but I can't change him. I have commented more than once that I'm surprised that DD doesn't swear like a druken sailor, since she hears a lot of it. Myself and DD who is 15, do not swear. I know that I didn't hear my mother swear until I was 15 and it was one word and I blamed it on her working outside the home. I just don't like hearing it. Must be my midwestern up bringing.

 

[ripleysmom]

"While lurking on the DB, I was surprised to see how many think that swearing is ok for their kids."

While you are certainly entitled to your poll Lewski, I feel your statement is quite an exaggeration.

There were 3 people on that thread out of maybe 20 participants total that said it was okay for kids to swear and one of those people doesn't even have children. I think your comment gives a false impression of the people on the DB.

As a regular member of the DB, I do not appreciate the implication in your comment.