Super Picky Eater Kids -How do you handle this?

[mjkacmom]

I had normal picky eaters, I’d Adkin them to take one bite, they were free to spit it out (I remember taking my youngest (twins) to Costco a lot (room for two in the cart). My son would gobble up samples, my daughter would spit most into the napkin. They are now adults, and pretty much eat anything (my pickiest loves raw oysters and grilled octopus, and all vegetables). She would try and try, and eventually ended up liking it. I’ve never made anyone clean a plate. However, my sister’s oldest is a little younger than my youngest, she and one of her brothers had food therapy, they would vomit due to texture. It’s a real issue. Their brother eats anything and everything, always had.

 

[barkley]

Immersion blenders tend to be life-savers; they can obliterate textural issues instantly and easily. Texture is often at the heart of food aversions, so being creative in terms of preparation is also important. (For instance, many of these kids will eat veggies only if left raw or grilled, so sometimes it's as simple as just keeping back a raw portion of something that you would normally cook, or vice-versa.)

with my youngest he's found over time that he enjoys the taste of some veggies but it's strictly the texture that causes him issues (he's a gagger/vomiter which is made worse b/c he is prone to a particular type of migraine that causes the same symptoms ). he figured out he likes the taste of bell peppers b/c he chose to try one of the 'meatballs' inside a costco stuffed bellpepper. liked the taste, inquired about the taste and if it could be somehow incorporated without him encountering the full bore bell pepper. no problem-i micro mince it into foods he eats in which case he can tolerate it (and thank you to the manufacturer of bell pepper pasta sauce which he loves as well as bell pepper salad dressing b/c he now enjoys grilled chicken marinated in it). same goes for onion-if i mince it so the texture is not noticable he's fine with it. i never thought he would be a fan of soup but once we got to this point with bells and onions 'taco soup' (the super easy recipie w/dry ranch dressing) has become a winter go to for him.

The key is to let kids' natural curiosity lead them to new foods in their own time;

when ours was younger and watched more cartoons he would surprise me by wanting to try something (or a real life version) he saw on a show-

crab (sponge bob 'krabby patties')-he's not a huge fan but will eat a crab patty

latkes (old rugrats episode wherein angelica spits out a pancake made of potato)-these are a favorite of his now.

piroshky AND kilbasa (the veggie tales song 'the 8 polish foods of christmas')-almost impossible to find decent piroshky where we live but he enjoys them when he can get them and kilbasa is on our bbq rotation.

now he's much older so we don't see these ideas pop up as much but his love for D&D did facilitate him asking to try a dish he saw in a D&D cookbook-never did i believe he would end up loving a dish that incorporated full sized onion slices, leeks and a savory gravy over chicken thighs (with the skin on) but it's a winter dish we all enjoy.

 

[ronandannette]

For the most part, we don't, at least not in the way I think you mean (as in, being focused on the need to eat a balanced diet). You have to let go of that and focus on just getting adequate calories into them to insure they keep growing.

Almost all of us supplement with vitamins if at all possible, so as to prevent clinical malnutrition. Dairy is a major source of nutrition for most of them, thanks to industrially-produced milk being vitamin-fortified. We also sometimes get sneaky about adding supplements or unusual ingredients to foods, but that is a delicate balancing act; do it wrong and you risk having the child suddenly categorically refuse to eat something that previously was "safe", and avoiding that outcome is often the most compelling issue in getting them fed. (As long as no allergies are present, adding finely-ground nuts to carb-heavy foods is often a very good option.)

In many cases we have our own experiences to follow in terms of knowing that not eating certain things really isn't all that harmful most of the time, and in knowing what is most likely to work in terms of introducing new foods, and we know how to respect aversions without totally throwing our hands up & letting them gorge on sweets. (My DS is chocolate-obsessed, but always understood that it was a treat, & that he wasn't going to be allowed enough of it to slake his hunger on that alone, so he was forced to seek other foods if he didn't want to go hungry.) The key is to let kids' natural curiosity lead them to new foods in their own time; you learn that pushing is counterproductive and usually has worse effects than simply letting them skip things.

Immersion blenders tend to be life-savers; they can obliterate textural issues instantly and easily. Texture is often at the heart of food aversions, so being creative in terms of preparation is also important. (For instance, many of these kids will eat veggies only if left raw or grilled, so sometimes it's as simple as just keeping back a raw portion of something that you would normally cook, or vice-versa.)

Thank you. Very informative for those of us with little knowledge on the subject.

 

[mahna2022]

Ours isn't simply texture-based. Our son won't eat any vegetables, pasta, rice, eggs, and only very few fruits. No sauces, except on pizza. He'll eat yogurt, but only one flavor of one brand. He'll eat SOME chicken tenders, but not chicken prepared in any other way. He won't eat any other meats. He prefers crunchy and salty foods (and, let's face it, any dessert), except for popcorn, which makes him vomit. He doesn't like milk. He's also a diagnosed super taster and supersniffer, which complicates things!

He has to smell every food before he eats in order to make sure he's comfortable with it. He LOVES the grilled cheese at Jolly Holiday, but the grilled cheese at Woody's Lunch Box set him off to the point where I had to carry him crying all the way to Lunchbox Express where he knew he liked the fries.

He gets Pedia Sure every morning, as does his picky-eater brother, and we add fiber.

My husband and I both work, and have to spend inordinate amounts of time making food for our son and bringing him to food therapy (and bringing our other kiddo to all of his therapies, but that's a totally different conversation) and it's an insane amount of work. We focus simply on getting him to eat ANYTHING new, and we celebrate whenever he does.

ARFID looks different for everyone with it (my kiddo is in the 90th percentile for both height and weight, and most ARFID kids are tiny), and there's no right or wrong way to work through it. We're all just trying to help our kids get through the day!

My picky kid? We simply try to give him exposures and help him make well-rounded choices, but he's still comfortable only ordering from kids' menus. We're working on a lot with him, so it's all part of empowering him to make good choices.

I was also a really picky kid - and grew up in a massive city with exposure to foods from all over the world - and now eat almost anything. It will come for our picky kid, but not for our ARFID kid.

 

[barkley]

No sauces, except on pizza.

He'll eat SOME chicken tenders

He LOVES the grilled cheese

is the sauce on pizza red? if so have you tried offering him pizza sauce to dip his chicken tenders in? my son did chicken tenders in pizza sauce and then since he also liked some cheeses (parm and mozzerella being ones b/c he was o.k. with them on pizza) was willing to at least try putting the sauce and cheese on TOP of the tenders so that chicken parm became an option for him. the dipping into pizza sauce and finding the type/taste of breading he's o.k. with also got him to be open to trying deep fried mozzerella sticks which kind of opened the door to trying actual cold cheese sticks (again mozzerella).

btw-pizza was always a life saver for us. he would always at least eat it. these days we still keep pizza bites in the freezer as a default though over the years he has progress from the cheese only to the cheese and pepperoni to which he now adds his own bacon bits and black olives (that was born of the crunchy salty preference you spoke of-he took a tiny bite of my nachos one day and found he liked the taste of black olives/nachos were and still are a huge food preference).

 

[mahna2022]

is the sauce on pizza red? if so have you tried offering him pizza sauce to dip his chicken tenders in? my son did chicken tenders in pizza sauce and then since he also liked some cheeses (parm and mozzerella being ones b/c he was o.k. with them on pizza) was willing to at least try putting the sauce and cheese on TOP of the tenders so that chicken parm became an option for him. the dipping into pizza sauce and finding the type/taste of breading he's o.k. with also got him to be open to trying deep fried mozzerella sticks which kind of opened the door to trying actual cold cheese sticks (again mozzerella).

btw-pizza was always a life saver for us. he would always at least eat it. these days we still keep pizza bites in the freezer as a default though over the years he has progress from the cheese only to the cheese and pepperoni to which he now adds his own bacon bits and black olives (that was born of the crunchy salty preference you spoke of-he took a tiny bite of my nachos one day and found he liked the taste of black olives/nachos were and still are a huge food preference).

Yes, he won't dip anything. He also won't put cheese on the tenders either. Nor will he eat pizza bites or pizza bagels. We actually tried mozzarella sticks AGAIN tonight at dinner, and it didn't go well. We got some progress; he didn't cry or gag!

Our food therapist has him doing something called food chaining, which works some weeks, but not so much others. We're heading on vacation in a few weeks, and I have vetted every single menu at our various hotels and excursions to make sure he can eat something. I work in the travel industry, so I'm well-versed in how to take care of even our most "particular" clients But you know, my kids want to travel all over the world, and that just isn't feasible with ARFID, and I'm not sure it can ever be.

The thing of it all: my kids have so many needs and IEPs and therapies and we are still, for no reason, so insanely lucky compared to so many people. There is no real light at the end of our tunnel, but we are so aware that could have it SO much harder than we do. We are so grateful for who our kids are and for the joy they bring us every day (and that they are both Disney and general travel fiends!).

 

[Imzadi]

The family I know with a currently very picky eater does give him vitamins. (But he also likes some meats and usually one vegetable at a time,

This reminds me, as one friend had her son try out different foods, when ever they had him try a different meat he'd always spit it out. No matter how many different ways, how they were cooked, she tried them all. He spit out each one. (He had undiagnosed ADHD.) So, she just learned what he will eat and what he won't. When he came over, she would just tell us he won't eat meats. He seemed okay with other foods. So we didn't have to make anything special for him.

If something was made with that had chunks of chicken and veggies in a sauce, she'd just make sure the chicken didn't make it onto his plate. But he'd eat the sauce over veggies and noodles or rice. (So maybe it was a textural issue all this time, but we didn't know it back then.)

One time another friend and her DH were over at the same time. When the DH heard that the friend's son won't eat meat he said, "Wow, a kid who's a natural born vegetarian! I never heard of that before. All the vegetarians I've met are older people who decided to become vegetarians and for philosophical reasons."

You could tell by the shock on the rest of our faces that we never though of the friend's son as being a "vegetarian" even though technically, I suppose he was one. We just all thought he might still turn around and decide to try meat again someday when he's older.

 

[DodgerGirl]

It's great that you expanded your list from the two things you liked when you were little! Do you remember just what circumstances helped you feel comfortable trying new things?

How I got started eating my fried chicken with Louisiana Hot Sauce was possibly due to being a fan of The Princess And The Frog and then I ate gumbo and jambalaya also due to The Princess And The Frog. In breakfast I also was crazy for eggs when I was a little girl and my grandfather would always cook me eggs sometimes but it wasn't until I ate eggs in a nest when I saw it in Tiana's Cookbook that regained my love of eggs but I also discovered grits when Dad had some in a restaurant once and I ended up eating two bowlfuls of grits and liking it. Egg noodles I wasn't crazy about before but it was when I saw Will Poulter cooking them that made me love egg noodles and I adore egg noodles with beef now. But as for corn and peas I am not a fan of them still

 

[Nagle]

I stopped feeding them years ago.

 

[Hisgirl]

For those making assumptions about me, please stop.
I love this child, he/she is family. Frustration and irritation are two different things.

I want this child full and happy.
I've been responsible for providing food for this child and I'm not sure how to make food choices good for everybody.

I appreciate those of you who have offered excellent advice. So far we have been able to provide some new choices and happily they have been tasted. Very happy about this!

 

[Hisgirl]

Okay..ARFID...never heard this and so happy to have this to research, thank you!
I'm concerned about sufficient vitamin and calcium intake for bone growth. I do hope down the road more choices are tempting. So far we have found the 'ticket' and are providing plenty of the liked foods while keeping the crowd happy with other things.

 

[mom2rtk]

I have a really picky kid who is now 29 and out in the world fully functioning. Still doesn't eat some things, but has tried most things and really broadened his horizons. Tries new things more readily than I do now.

I grew up knowing I ate what was made or went hungry (including things like liver and onions. Oyster stew was the Christmas Eve tradition). I was never going to do that to my kids and didn't. I also would not choose a restaurant for a large group based on my picky eater.

That said. If the OP is talking about a child other than their own, it's not their business.

 

[mahna2022]

Okay..ARFID...never heard this and so happy to have this to research, thank you!
I'm concerned about sufficient vitamin and calcium intake for bone growth. I do hope down the road more choices are tempting. So far we have found the 'ticket' and are providing plenty of the liked foods while keeping the crowd happy with other things.

It's SUCH a tricky balance - believe me, I know!! And do not beat yourself up over it, because this is something totally out of your control. One tip: if you're concerned about vitamins/calcium, talk to your doctor, and try something like Pediasure, which tastes like a milkshake, but is a vitamin/protein shake.

 

[NYCgrrl]

For those making assumptions about me, please stop.
I love this child, he/she is family. Frustration and irritation are two different things.

You’ve been here awhile- you know the game. Sometimes it’s played with the best of intentions, other times not.
Glad you’re able to articulate your stance

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Still doesn't eat some things, but has tried most things and really broadened his horizons. Tries new things more readily than I do now.

That's how I am. When I was a kid I was much more picky, I didn't have a huge appetite until middle school/high school eating one bite of a mcdonald's burger and be full. But eventually I got it, most of my early attempts to try other stuff was asking to have a bite from my mom's food lol. I wasn't as picky as some describe their experience though.

As an adult I've noticed what my husband and I will eat is more varied than what our parents will eat. Seafood is basically the cuisine that we don't eat (although we tried and liked caviar on our cruise last year and my husband has had shrimp one off) that our parents do eat. But things like curry, hummus, plantains and the recipes we do are more adventurous than our parents will try and to them that's too exotic and "smh" worthy.

One thing I've thought about is how the "meat and potatoes" generation the food was still quite basic in what it is, I often find myself wanting more flavors more interesting style of food. It's not like I grew up with bland food per se but I def. use a lot more herbs and spices than I grew up on and I'm always looking for more recipes. Being on the spectrum may make this moot but just thought some of it could also be perceptions around what is the food one should eat (nutrition still being important though).

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I want this child full and happy.
I've been responsible for providing food for this child and I'm not sure how to make food choices good for everybody.

To make note though your thread was not really initially about concern over actual health. It was about 1 child, who is on the spectrum, being the determining factor in where you, when you are with them, eat. And a side comment about how you purchased ice cream bars that went unused. The premise of the thread in the OP was not about concern over the child rather the influence the child had over adult choices in restaurant options. It's understandable why you got some of the comments you did. The relation you have to this child is important not only in what people would suggest but what you can control in your reaction and choices.

 

[White Cat]

If you have an elementary school age child who is super picky about food, how do the families handle when he will only eat one brand of something or one ice cream from a certain store. And you're in a large group who wanted to go somewhere different and eat something different.

Do you go to the place the picky eater wants to go? Do you go to two places?

Do picky eaters go without if you go somewhere else, do they ever try something new?

I bought chocolate covered eskimo bars which he likes, but I got the wrong brand so he threw it away.

Please share how you handle this. it gets frustrating to see a large group of people not getting what they all want because one person is driving the decision.

Happy to hear your experiences with picky eaters and if they ever broadened their horizens and if so, how did you help lead to more choices. Right now the only foods eaten are sweets, and meat. No dairy, no fiber, no fruit nor vegetables.

The one person would have to bring his or her own food. Or the parents.

 

[Darcy03231]

Yes to spectrum. I do understand this is normal. But again, spectrum or no, does this child drive the food decisions of a large group?

I say no.

If going out to eat, child either eats something before you go, finds something on the menu they will eat, or eats something when they get home.

If at home, make sure there are foods/brands available the child will eat, and the rest of group eats whatever is being served. I would make sure to offer new food, even if they're being rejected.