Student Loan Debt

[Cincychic]

I wanted to thank some of you for the useful advise. It has given me a few ideas I had not really thought of. As for the babysitting idea, I have already thought of that one and ran an ad a couple of weeks ago, and unfortunately did not get any calls. I will try again once school is almost out if nothing else pans out.

For the rest of you that want to judge me and criticize me and pretty much put me down, I want to ask you, do any of you have special needs children? If so, I am about 99% certain they do not have the same thing my two boys have. If you do, has any of their doctors ever told you to go and enjoy things with your child now, because you won't be able to go on vacations with them when they are older? Family vacations are important for us, and if my mom or whoever wants to help us I don't see a problem with it. Our next family vacation may be our last one. If you were in our shoes, maybe you would think a little differently. Don't make me feel guilty for trying to make my kids feel special one or two weeks out of the year, because later on they won't get that!

And for the last time, I never said I wanted to make my student loans disappear, I was just looking for advice, such as different repayment options I did not know about.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I really wish the people who post on the "I don't care about saving for college, I'm spending my money making memories" threads would read threads like this. I think there is a great deal of misunderstanding about what it means to take an education loan, and how it will affect or may affect generations of families (the parents who spent the child's expected contribution [which is not a contribution, it is pretty concrete funds you are expected to expend], the young adult who takes the loans without understanding what it means, and the children, who may be born into a family that is even more financially unprepared to support them) because the parents did not grasp the concept of the student loans...

I do not claim to understand it perfectly and I probably misstated something above, my point is it is a shame more people do not educate themselves and their children about what gaining the massive amounts of debt that can be incurred to attend some colleges and universities today will have on their futures.

 

[Pooh2]

I really wish the people who post on the "I don't care about saving for college, I'm spending my money making memories" threads would read threads like this. I think there is a great deal of misunderstanding about what it means to take an education loan, and how it will affect or may affect generations of families (the parents who spent the child's expected contribution [which is not a contribution, it is pretty concrete funds you are expected to expend], the young adult who takes the loans without understanding what it means, and the children, who may be born into a family that is even more financially unprepared to support them) because the parents did not grasp the concept of the student loans...

I do not claim to understand it perfectly and I probably misstated something above, my point is it is a shame more people do not educate themselves and their children about what gaining the massive amounts of debt that can be incurred to attend some colleges and universities today will have on their futures.

Perfectly stated.

 

[JanaDee]

I really wish the people who post on the "I don't care about saving for college, I'm spending my money making memories" threads would read threads like this. I think there is a great deal of misunderstanding about what it means to take an education loan, and how it will affect or may affect generations of families (the parents who spent the child's expected contribution [which is not a contribution, it is pretty concrete funds you are expected to expend], the young adult who takes the loans without understanding what it means, and the children, who may be born into a family that is even more financially unprepared to support them) because the parents did not grasp the concept of the student loans...

I do not claim to understand it perfectly and I probably misstated something above, my point is it is a shame more people do not educate themselves and their children about what gaining the massive amounts of debt that can be incurred to attend some colleges and universities today will have on their futures.

I think it is pretty easy to understand "this university costs $15,000 a year vs. this other college that costs $45,000 a year".

 

[crisi]

I wanted to thank some of you for the useful advise. It has given me a few ideas I had not really thought of. As for the babysitting idea, I have already thought of that one and ran an ad a couple of weeks ago, and unfortunately did not get any calls. I will try again once school is almost out if nothing else pans out.

For the rest of you that want to judge me and criticize me and pretty much put me down, I want to ask you, do any of you have special needs children? If so, I am about 99% certain they do not have the same thing my two boys have. If you do, has any of their doctors ever told you to go and enjoy things with your child now, because you won't be able to go on vacations with them when they are older? Family vacations are important for us, and if my mom or whoever wants to help us I don't see a problem with it. Our next family vacation may be our last one. If you were in our shoes, maybe you would think a little differently. Don't make me feel guilty for trying to make my kids feel special one or two weeks out of the year, because later on they won't get that!

And for the last time, I never said I wanted to make my student loans disappear, I was just looking for advice, such as different repayment options I did not know about.

Both my kids are burdened with labels, but I also didn't have my children until my husband's student loans were paid off (I didn't have any) and our only debt was our mortgage and we had two fairly secure careers going on. We didn't even have a car loan when our children arrived. I knew kids were going to be expensive - even kids who are neuro or physio-typical.

I'm not in your shoes because I made darn sure I wouldn't be - at least, not with student loans. They sound like miserable shoes to be in.

When I went back to college, which I did do when my kids were in elementary school, I made sure we could pay for it out of pocket. I specifically chose a program that was inexpensive so it wouldn't put a burden on the family.

 

[Marionnette]

I wanted to thank some of you for the useful advise. It has given me a few ideas I had not really thought of. As for the babysitting idea, I have already thought of that one and ran an ad a couple of weeks ago, and unfortunately did not get any calls. I will try again once school is almost out if nothing else pans out.

For the rest of you that want to judge me and criticize me and pretty much put me down, I want to ask you, do any of you have special needs children? If so, I am about 99% certain they do not have the same thing my two boys have. If you do, has any of their doctors ever told you to go and enjoy things with your child now, because you won't be able to go on vacations with them when they are older? Family vacations are important for us, and if my mom or whoever wants to help us I don't see a problem with it. Our next family vacation may be our last one. If you were in our shoes, maybe you would think a little differently. Don't make me feel guilty for trying to make my kids feel special one or two weeks out of the year, because later on they won't get that!

And for the last time, I never said I wanted to make my student loans disappear, I was just looking for advice, such as different repayment options I did not know about.

My special needs child never went on a family vacation. She didn't live long enough for us to be able to take one with her. You have no idea what pain other people have experienced.

I will say that we made every day that we had together as special as we could. Some days "special" meant just surviving and others were filled with bubbles (her favorite) and dancing. We didn't need to go away or spend a lot of money to make our time together matter. In spite of all of the therapies and doctors' visits and hospitalizations, we managed to find the magic. And even though the bills prevented us from being able to take a trip, I wouldn't trade one afternoon of blowing dandelions and running through sprinklers for any amount of time spent on a cruise ship or theme park.

Peace and joy come from within. It doesn't come from a girl dressed up to look like a mouse. Getting the student loan monkey off of your back will go a long way toward finding your inner peace. Your children deserve a mother who is not stressed out about her debts.

 

[mrsklamc]

I actually do have a child with special needs, and I had more sympathy for you before you tried to use that as an excuse for your irresponsibility. My child may never see Disney or go on a Disney cruise, which are things we could have easily afforded had he not been born with special needs, but now we have to spend that money on medical bills and saving for his future because that is what responsible parents do. Special needs parenting is MORE of a reason to step up and do the responsible thing, not an excuse to take vacations your child will be just fine without. Memories don't have to be expensive. Does it make me sad that I may never be able to provide the experiences I wanted to for my child? Yes, but that's the hand life dealt me.

 

[crisi]

I think it is pretty easy to understand "this university costs $15,000 a year vs. this other college that costs $45,000 a year".

Our OP has $60k in loans. $15k a year for 4 years IS $60k. She also has part of a masters and a cosmotology license - each would involve more tuition - she didn't get here by choosing - what was the example in the other thread - Pepperdine.

 

[MSLRAC]

OP, so now your kids, which you were talking about leaving in your first post, are so bad that this may be your last vacation? Sorry but I'm not buying it and if it is true then you have more issues than having your priorities out of order and not being able to pay your loans.

I have a son with Autism and my oldest daughter has several severe medical issues. But vacations and trips to Disney are not what makes them (or my youngest) feel special. Disney is just a fun place to go. We make them feel special and make memories every single day.

I'm not one of the ones on here that preaches that you should never go vacation if you are in debt. We go every year, multiple times a year, and we have debt. But we pay our debts and when there were times that we struggled, then we certainly did not go on vacation. I just can not comprehend not being able to pay your bills but feeling as if you are entitled or deserve a vacation. It's like some people lose all sense of logic when it comes to Disney.

 

[robinb]

My special needs child never went on a family vacation. She didn't live long enough for us to be able to take one with her. You have no idea what pain other people have experienced.

I will say that we made every day that we had together as special as we could. Some days "special" meant just surviving and others were filled with bubbles (her favorite) and dancing. We didn't need to go away or spend a lot of money to make our time together matter. In spite of all of the therapies and doctors' visits and hospitalizations, we managed to find the magic. And even though the bills prevented us from being able to take a trip, I wouldn't trade one afternoon of blowing dandelions and running through sprinklers for any amount of time spent on a cruise ship or theme park.

Peace and joy come from within. It doesn't come from a girl dressed up to look like a mouse. Getting the student loan monkey off of your back will go a long way toward finding your inner peace. Your children deserve a mother who is not stressed out about her debts.

{{hugs}}

 

[MnMomtoboys]

Another special needs parent here. Feel free to stop the excuses.

 

[MSLRAC]

My special needs child never went on a family vacation. She didn't live long enough for us to be able to take one with her. You have no idea what pain other people have experienced.

I will say that we made every day that we had together as special as we could. Some days "special" meant just surviving and others were filled with bubbles (her favorite) and dancing. We didn't need to go away or spend a lot of money to make our time together matter. In spite of all of the therapies and doctors' visits and hospitalizations, we managed to find the magic. And even though the bills prevented us from being able to take a trip, I wouldn't trade one afternoon of blowing dandelions and running through sprinklers for any amount of time spent on a cruise ship or theme park.

Peace and joy come from within. It doesn't come from a girl dressed up to look like a mouse. Getting the student loan monkey off of your back will go a long way toward finding your inner peace. Your children deserve a mother who is not stressed out about her debts.

I am very sorry for your loss Marionnette.

 

[Marionnette]

I am very sorry for your loss Marionnette.

{{hugs}}

Thank you. Mother's Day tends to bring those memories rushing back.

 

[RitaE]

Repayment options are pretty easy to find. If you can't find it by Googling just call up Sallie Mae or whomever your student loan company is and they will be happy to give you the information.

Given that you've managed to put the loans on extended deferment, I have to think you know how to get options from the Student Loan people?


But as far as a repayment plan goes, every single one of them require you to make payments. With money. So if you don't like people here telling you the two tried and true methods 1. Get a job or other money making activity and send money in to the student loan people or 2. Reduce whatever expenses you can and send money into the student loan people.

Then you are really just going to have to figure this out utilizing your own creativity.

I'll just add that with two? Special Needs children your future care costs are exponentially higher than the average person. You need to be financially securing not only your own retirement, but the whatever money is going to be needed to insure the safety and well being of your disabled children.

I realize you think everybody here is being incredibly harsh and mean, me included. But I have to tell you, this problem is not going to disappear and you need to take care of it NOW because when you are 72 and on Social Security and Uncle Sam starts garnishing your meager retirement income to repay what has ballooned into hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid student loans with interest and penalties added on, it is going to be that much worse.

You've had your cruise and vacations and that water is under the bridge as far as money spent. Now it is time to take care of the problem and not make a big problem even worse by blindly ignoring common sense and rationalizing why you can't pay.

 

[JanaDee]

Our OP has $60k in loans. $15k a year for 4 years IS $60k. She also has part of a masters and a cosmotology license - each would involve more tuition - she didn't get here by choosing - what was the example in the other thread - Pepperdine.

That is assuming 100% of her costs were covered by loans.

Nonetheless, she needs to stop going on vacations and pay back the debt she owes.

 

[Cincychic]

I just want to say that I am sorry to any of the parents of special needs children, was not trying to upset anyone. It seems that you all think I am either lying, which I am not! Or, I am playing the sympathy card here, which I really don't care about any of your sympathy. All I was doing is stating facts and saying why we took a Disney cruise and why we would like to go on another.

I am not perfect, I have made a ton of mistakes. Sorry my life is not as perfect as most of yours. I didn't save for college, didn't have my children after my debts were paid off, decided to put my student loans in deferment, and of course went on a Disney cruise! I can keep going on if you would like so you can judge me some more?

I also made the mistake of coming on here thinking I could get some advice. I didn't not think people on these boards could be so rude, not all, but most comments were very rude. That's okay, I know better the next time I need advice.

 

[Southernmiss]

Op, I am sure it's tough to be the mom of special needs children. But truthfully, none of us are guaranteed any amount of time with our children.

Our family makes enough to cover our expenses, but not always enough for savings and vacations. Its important to us to save for a rainy day. If we don't have enough for our extra expenses, we don't go on vacation. I'd suspect a lot of people are like us and would resent knowing how hard we work and can't take vacations and then find out we are supporting others choosing to go on vacations instead of taking care of their debt.

Our last non grandma's house vacation was 2011. There's not one on the horizon yet either. Our kids are teens so not much more time for them at home. But we'd rather not saddle them with our debt.

 

[EMAW_KSU]

I also made the mistake of coming on here thinking I could get some advice. I didn't not think people on these boards could be so rude, not all, but most comments were very rude. That's okay, I know better the next time I need advice.

There are four + pages of advice here. What type of advice were you expecting?

 

[crisi]

That is assuming 100% of her costs were covered by loans.

Nonetheless, she needs to stop going on vacations and pay back the debt she owes.

Agreed, but my point is that you can pick a reasonable $15k a year school, go for four years, end up in grad school after graduating into a down market to make yourself more qualified, put your loans in deferment - where they continue to add interest, and find yourself in over your head - it isn't just kids who choose their dream college over sensible options who end up in over their head. People make reasonable choices - and end up over their heads.

 

[luvsJack]

All judgement and holier than thou attitudes aside, OP, call Sallie Mae or email or write them and let them help you figure out what to do.

They will help you.

When DS was out of work for a little while, they let him pay $5 a month until he started working again. Many, many people (I am sure none here on the Dis) have had their payments reduced to an amount they can pay. Don't concentrate on the $60,000 right now, concentrate on getting them to agree to and making a payment you and the student loan people can live with.

What would your payment be if you were paying it? What can you pay? That is all you need to think about right now. When you start working, then you can start worrying about paying down the $60,000.