Strict, over-protective parent here...

[SLK1]

My DD13 has lots of friends whose parents are perfectly fine with their girls going to Wet N Wild water park (we live in Orlando - it's a water park that's not quite the caliber of Blizzard Beach/Typhoon Lagoon and attracts a bit more seedy crowd). I have said NO repeatedly to her, unless a parent goes along. Well, today she asked AGAIN if she could go with her friends. Response: No (especially with the recent child molestations/rapes happening at water parks lately). She wasn't mad, per se, but did confirm that one of her friends said that the friend, AND HER DAD, commented that I'm "too over-protective". I know this Dad...do I confront him on that? He didn't say it directly to my daughter; he said it to his own daughter who repeated it to mine. I refuse to give in the request to go to the park, and I'm not in a position to buy my own ticket and sit there, or I would (we are having lots of construction done on our house, not to mention I have a DD2 who would not do well at a water park). It's so frustrating to have other parents who are just plain too busy and too tired to parent their kids anymore, and then put it off as YOU are the bad guy. Any thoughts? Or maybe I'm in the wrong here???

 

[wdwmom0f3]

You are not in the wrong here, but I am over protective too. There is NO WAY that I would let my 13 year old go there without a parent. It's just that simple. I don't think that I would say anything to the other parent, just let it go at that.

 

[crisi]

No, you don't confront him. He has every right to believe you are being over protective, and every right to make that comment to his daughter. Who has every right to tell your daughter.

And then you have every right to say "and I don't think her father is adequately supervising his children - we are even and you still aren't going."

 

[katyjeka]

We have 3 dd's, oldest is 12, and she will not be going places alone for awhile. We are very overprotective but the world is CRAZY today. I know too many parents who let their children go along, because everyone else is. She's your daughter and you have the right to do what you feel is best.

 

[Elvistelth]

I wouldn't let my daughter go either. I'd rather be an overprotective parent with a living kid than a "cool" parent with a dead one.

 

[Leajess99]

I would not confront him as it is not going to change his mind. I also would not tell her you feel the father is not adequately supervising his child either as that may make for a bigger issue for your dd and her friend. Just let her know that there are some sick people out there and you don't feel it is safe for her. Also, even though those places have lifeguards, there are so many people that a lifeguard may miss something happening.

 

[khkymanager]

I sure don't think you are being over protective. My kids are 26 and 23 now and I heard lots of "you're so over protective" but i kept in mind the saying my grandma said when I was young..."Better you should cry than I should cry." Do what you are comfortable with and don't worry about other peoples comments.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

No, you don't confront him. He has every right to believe you are being over protective, and every right to make that comment to his daughter. Who has every right to tell your daughter.

Agreed - he did nothing wrong. If you decided to confront him, what would you say? That he was/is a bad parent because he chooses to do things differently than you?

Your daughter is probably using this as ammo to hurt you and try to get you to change your mind. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated...

 

[tjbaggott]

Thats called "Being Overprotective"??????? I call that "Parenting"!

 

[momx2]

It's so frustrating to have other parents who are just plain too busy and too tired to parent their kids anymore, and then put it off as YOU are the bad guy. Any thoughts? Or maybe I'm in the wrong here???

First, let me say that I probably wouldn't let my DD go there without supervision. I don't know for sure because I'm not familiar with the clientel of the business. I think you have every right to not let your DD go there without supervision. I also think the other child's father had every right to say what he did to his daughter. The child shouldn't have repeated it to your daughter, but kids will be kids.

I do have a problem with the above quoted statement. Just because the friend's parents think it is okay for her to go without an adult does not make them "too busy and too tired to parent." That is very judgemental IMO. Different parents parent in different ways.

 

[MiniGirl]

What would you hope to accomplish with confronting him? Whatever it is... confronting him will probably only result in him adding "defensive" to his opinion of you. Also, you never said he told his dd that. She could have overheard him telling his wife (or SO) that he felt you are overprotective.

Bottom line.... if you are doing what you feel is right for your dd, then what others think simply doesn't matter.

 

[kacaju]

I refuse to give in the request to go to the park, and I'm not in a position to buy my own ticket and sit there, or I would (we are having lots of construction done on our house, not to mention I have a DD2 who would not do well at a water park). It's so frustrating to have other parents who are just plain too busy and too tired to parent their kids anymore, and then put it off as YOU are the bad guy. Any thoughts? Or maybe I'm in the wrong here???

I see it as YOU are the one who is too busy, too tired to parent your child.

If I want to let my 13 year old go to the waterpark without me then that is my choice. If you don't feel that way, that is OK, but then YOUR choice is to volunteer to take the girls so your dd can be with her friends, or you keep your dd home...as you have.

 

[redrosesix]

No, you don't confront him. He has every right to believe you are being over protective, and every right to make that comment to his daughter. Who has every right to tell your daughter.

And then you have every right to say "and I don't think her father is adequately supervising his children - we are even and you still aren't going."

I see it as YOU are the one who is too busy, too tired to parent your child.

If I want to let my 13 year old go to the waterpark without me then that is my choice. If you don't feel that way, that is OK, but then YOUR choice is to volunteer to take the girls so your dd can be with her friends, or you keep your dd home...as you have.

I just have to agree with both of these posts. And I wouldn't call out the dad for making a comment about your parenting style -- aren't you doing the same thing here?

Since I'm not familiar with Wet and Wild, I wouldn't be able to tell you whether girls from here could go there unchaperoned at the age of 13, but they do go to many of the beaches and lakes around here, without any parents but they all have cellphones.

 

[bellebuzzntink]

I can't even begin to imagine letting my DD11 go to a water park with friends when she's 13, 14, 15, 16...... maybe when she's married I'll let her go . So, I think you are being protective, but that's not a bad thing. Whenever this situation arises with my DD11, I let her know why I am disallowing her to do whatever it is she and her friends are wanting to do. I know she gets disappointed, but to me it's so much more important for her not to be put in a situation that she can't handle than make her happy.

As for the dad, I wouldn't even give it a second thought.

 

[Leajess99]

I see it as YOU are the one who is too busy, too tired to parent your child.

If I want to let my 13 year old go to the waterpark without me then that is my choice. If you don't feel that way, that is OK, but then YOUR choice is to volunteer to take the girls so your dd can be with her friends, or you keep your dd home...as you have.

Just curious is there not an age supervision requirement?? I will not let my kids go to a waterpark without supervision but not because I am lazy or too tired but because I choose to watch MY children in situations that can be dangerous such as a waterpark. That is MY preference and what another parent chooses to do is their choice.

 

[daisy2jae]

I would let my child go in my area (south dakota) but in Orlando with the recent events....I don't think you are wrong.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

You may be overprotective, but that is not necessarily a bad thing!
When I was 13 I was allowed to go with friends to a waterpark in So FL, but that was YEARS ago and not in a high tourist area. If it was my child, she wouldn't be going either...no matter what the other parents thought.
As far as the father of the friend...I wouldn't even waste my time confronting him. If your parenting styles are different it could just result in words or feeling hurt. You parent your child and let him (and his opinions) parent his child.

 

[SLK1]

I see it as YOU are the one who is too busy, too tired to parent your child.

If I want to let my 13 year old go to the waterpark without me then that is my choice. If you don't feel that way, that is OK, but then YOUR choice is to volunteer to take the girls so your dd can be with her friends, or you keep your dd home...as you have.

I'm the OP...not sure why you're calling me too busy and too tired to parent my kid. I was meaning that some parents are too busy and too tired, therefore give in to the persistent requests of their kids. I also stated I would go if I could, but given my situation, I can't, so I am not expecting others to sit there with my kid.

Oh well...lots of good thoughts on the subject. I won't confront the dad; he's entitled to think what he wants, as I'm entitled to my thoughts. I love one of the PP's quote, "Better that you cry than I cry". Makes a lot of sense. A few hours after the initial request from my daughter and I'm back to my calm self!

 

[TinkInPink]

My first question is , they're 13 doesn't a parent need to at least drop off and pick up? I would see no issue in allowing them to go as long as they stayed in groups or pairs at least. And knowing that they have to be at the front gate at 6 etc. they are 13 not 8, soon to be high schoolers, they should be old enough and responsible enough to be able to go to a water park in a group. My middle school did this every year and we only had approx 6 chaperones for about 150 kids. we would go all day and not see a single teacher with no issues or problems.

If you were to go (hypothetically) would you be with them every single minute? follow them up every slide? I think a water park would be a great learning opportunity. and would give them just enough freedom to make them feel "grown up" while still in a secure and somewhat supervised situation. speaking from experience allowing young teens to do things like this alone instills a lot of respect in parents

also In today's world of cell phones when they could call at designated times and check in with home.

 

[jennc27]

I laughed when I read this. This was similiar to what me and my Mom would fight about when I was a teen.

I was so mad at my Mom for not letting me go to the mall and hang with my friends. She told me she was worried about the smoking and the boys. When I would argue that "all me friends go to the mall" she would reply "that's fine, but you will not". At the time I was upset with her. Now...I think she is the best thing since slice bread. Hopefully your daughter will get over it and respect you later in life for holding true to your beliefs. Of course this is how I feel about my Mom and someone else may disagree, but I am thankful for my Mom for not giving into me and making me accept that life is not always fair.

As for the other Dad that has made the comments about you, do not say anything. What good will it do to defend yourself against him?

My advice for you is you may want to try to find a comparmise so that she can spend time with her firends. My Mom would let my firends come over and hang out at our house as long as they wanted. I got to have a lot of sleepovers (girls only) with pizza, games, and movies.

Good luck!