Strange comment/vibe from DD's Music Teacher.

[Stacey2grls]

I had a really strange experience today. I will start out by saying that I am not a paranoid person, but I found this to be somewhat unnerving. Today at Brownies (I am a Brownie Leader) DD 7 and her friends are playing, and her music teacher Mr. R walks right up to me and starts talking about my daughters musical talent (she plays the guitar). Ok that is nice and all, but, he starts commenting on how truely lovely she is and that she has the most incredibly long and nice legs he has ever seen on a second grader! I was completely shocked! I just stood there like a big dummy and noded my head. I came home and told my husband, while he thinks this is creepy, he feels that I am overeacting and not to give it a second thought. I asked my daughter if he ever acted strange towards her or anything, and she said that he hadn't. I don't know, should I give this another thought? But I must say the expression on his face while he was talking about my daughter was somewhat disturbing. Am I crazy to be worried?

 

[Stacerita]

Creepy. Id be worried too. I dont have advice to give you. But as a mom you have every right to be worried. You can't be to careful these days.

 

[ktpool]

You are not being paranoid and that is an entirely inappropriate and disturbing comment.

I would run, not walk, to my 2nd grader's teacher in the morning and tell her (or him) in no uncertain terms that my daughter is never to be left alone with the music teacher. I would tell the prinicipal the same thing!

I understand the fear of repercussions of reporting the incident, but I would be more afraid of what would happen if I didn't!

I feel so bad for you, what a horrible position to be in! Time for another reinforcing talk with your daughter about privacy boundaries and appropriate adult behavior

 

[BrerLizzie]

That's really creepy. I'd talk to the school about it as soon as you can.

 

[Sparx]

That's really creepy. I'd talk to the school about it as soon as you can.

ITA.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

It's not being paranoid, it's being safe. Did you see Oprah about the teenager who was lured into internet porn due to a web cam? Long story short, he was abused by adults for years over the net. He had an adult with him on Oprah (I didn't ever catch who the adult was), but he said the adults who frequent these porn sites were very often people with regular access to kids. A few he mentioned were: Pediatricians, teachers, lawyers who represent children, counselors etc. That really bothered me-that people who work with kids would be looking for child porn.

So I would be worried about the comments if it was me. That is a really weird, creepy thing to say.

 

[kejoda]

Your dd's teacher is not the music teachers boss. You need to speak to the principal.

 

[Stacey2grls]

Thank you everyone for your replies. I am going to see the principal and my DD's teacher tomorrow. I am totally not looking foward to this, but it has to be done.

 

[minkydog]

Ewww~ what normal adult notices a 2nd graders long,lovely legs I would have definitely been creeped out.

 

[ktpool]

Your dd's teacher is not the music teachers boss. You need to speak to the principal.

I don't think anyone said the teacher was the boss. But the teacher is in a position to make sure the girl is not left alone with the music teacher - and she needs to be aware of the situation.

 

[LightBurnsBlue]

Yikes! It would be a little strange if he said something like, "your daughter is very tall." But to say that she has long, LOVELY legs??? What kind of weirdo notices a 2nd grader's legs? So yes, that is a very strange vibe to be getting from a male music teacher. Good luck speaking to the principal....he or she needs to know about this.

 

[andromedaslove]

Let me be brutally honest.... I think you are crazy if you AREN'T worried. What he said was COMPLETELY inappropriate, no matter what context it was put in. He is a male teacher and she is a 7 yr old little girl, he has absolutely no business noticing how long and LOVELY her legs are, end of discussion.

As a Mother you would be surprised how accurate your instincts are when it comes to your children. Let me tell you why I feel so strongly about this. When my son was 3 years old he came to me and told me that his "brother" my cousin who we had custody of for 4 years had molested him. As soon as he told me that I immediately knew it was the truth, no ifs and or buts about it. My cousin was removed from the home, police reports were filed, etc.... but the one thing that absolutely haunts me... there was a split second one night before I fell asleep, while my brain was running on it's own, that it entered my mind that something like that might happen. I immediately shrugged it off, thinking there is no way he would do that to his little brother, if I had only known how wrong I was... Anyway, my point is that if his comments made you uncomfortable and worried then there is a reason, and don't just push it off... do what you have to so you can protect your little girl.

Dana

 

[mudnuri]

From a music teacher I'd be creaped out too, and I would go speak to the principal.

Last spring, DD's gym teacher asked me if she had been going to the gym with her father. I said no why? and he said - well her legs have developed some serious muscle and I just wondered if she was wroking out with him and her uncles. He was right, they had, she had skied at least once a week all winter and was playing basketball 3x a week. From the gym teacher it didnt freak me, but from a music teacher- OMG yes it would!

brandy

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Oh my. I got a chill just reading what he said!!!!!

Yes, talk with the teacher and the principal.

 

[chris1gill]

You are not being paranoid and that is an entirely inappropriate and disturbing comment.

I would run, not walk, to my 2nd grader's teacher in the morning and tell her (or him) in no uncertain terms that my daughter is never to be left alone with the music teacher. I would tell the prinicipal the same thing!

I understand the fear of repercussions of reporting the incident, but I would be more afraid of what would happen if I didn't!

I feel so bad for you, what a horrible position to be in! Time for another reinforcing talk with your daughter about privacy boundaries and appropriate adult behavior

I agree with ALL of this.... that comment was totally inappropriate I'm sorry that happened....

 

[snowball22]

Very strange comment indeed. I would let the principal know.

 

[tkd lisa]

I agree. Let us know how it turns out.

Now if he had said she had long fingers or something related to the instrument that would have been appropriate. Somewhat strange, but appropriate (kind of like the gym teacher noticing the other child's muscles).

I would have freaked too!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Trust your vibe...my story..

When my 14yodd was in elementary school the "music teacher" gave me the vibe of a molester. He just did.

My friend had the girl that he '"liked", she was a sweet and cute little thing, very nice girl. My friend mentioned that he came over to their house a couple of times and I told her my vibe in which she thought I was bananas.

Well he came over again and then she calls me later and yells at me because she made sure she kept an eye on her children because of me.

Out of the blue 2 months later she calls me and tells me he was arrested for molesting many children. Turns out the school knew he had a jaded past, and his wife ran a daycare out of his home.
He molested the kids in daycare with the wife's help.

She cooperated with the police and got off and he went to prison. They had a toddler at the time.

So trust your gut!!!!

 

[Nancy]

Ewww~ what normal adult notices a 2nd graders long,lovely legs I would have definitely been creeped out.

Now if his comments were about her long fingers that would be ok because she is playing an instrument...why is he looking at her legs???

My DD's had their art teacher arrested for child porn (sending and viewing over the internet). I think back now on comments made and wonder what I missed and how that slime got under my radar. Like the comment he made to me about middle DD and he he hopes he teachers her next year because he really enjoyed having her in class. I took it as a compliment even though my DD has NO artitistic ability...now I wonder if he just liked looking at her? KWIM?

Talk to the principal and voice your concerns..he should not be checking out a second graders legs...that is so creepy!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My jaw literally dropped when I read his comment. Yikes! Let us know the response of the principal. Thank you for trusting your gut feeling.