Terri shares anguish
DESPITE his incredibly public life, Steve Irwin wanted his death to be a private affair and asked his wife Terri to keep details of his burial among his closest friends and family.
In her first public interview, Terri said she would never reveal any details about where Steve is buried despite strong speculation his final resting place is on the grounds of the family's Australia Zoo. "Steve had particular wishes for after he died and I carried out his particular wishes and one of them was that he'd lived life so big that he just wanted some personal privacy at that point, and I gave him that," she said.
And for his farewell, his daughter Bindi, 8, put together a box of trinkets, notes and keepsakes to go with her father into his next life.
Terri was with Bindi and son Bob, 3, in Tasmania when Irwin's friend and manager John Stainton rang to tell her that her husband had been fatally stabbed by a stingray barb while diving on the Great Barrier Reef on September 4.
She said she drove the family's vehicle up where they were staying for the night and was asked by the manager to come into his office as there was an urgent message for her.
"I felt myself explode inside and I looked out the window and here's this beautiful little girl with her father's eyes, looking at me with such joy," she said.
"I said to Bindi, 'I have something to tell you that I have steeled myself for', and I told her exactly what happened and she cried, she said.
"It is very important that we are still a family and she was very brave.
"This is what walking through fire is and if you can get out the other side, you'll be able to get some meaning from what happened. I don't know if I ever will, but we must make good out of anything."
In a separate interview with American presenter Barbara Walters Terri said she was determined to regain her life.
"Now I'm going to work really hard at having fun again . . . I'm Mrs Steve Irwin. I've got a lot to live up to," she said.
Terri recalled the last time she saw her husband alive, as he farewelled the family on their trip to Tasmania.
"Steve drove us to the airstrip and he said goodbye to the kids, and goodbye to me and he gave me a kiss and I went to get on the plane and I was helping Robert up the steps and he grabbed me a second time and gave me a kiss," she said.
"He drove the truck down the runway, made the pilot really nervous because he parked just outside the cable markers, stood on top of the truck and larger than life with his arms in the air, waved goodbye, as big as the world.
"It was wonderful and Bindi said, 'That's how I'll always remember him, standing on that truck'."
Terri said Bindi was coping remarkably well, but that Robert, almost 3, was having problems coping without his father.
"He held his little piggy and he looked out the window for half an hour and it the first time he was quiet on the entire trip to Tasmania," she said.
She said he was back to his playful self when they flew home.
"It was hard because he wanted to play and I just wanted to lay on the floor, but I played with him and I cried with the kids . . . I don't have a choice. I have to cope and I'll be here for my kids," she said.
HEARTACHE . . . Terri Irwin tells of the impact of her husband's death on her children, Robert and Bindi.
Kelly
What a strong woman she is and a good mom. Even though they will all feel a huge void in their life her kids are so fortunate to have such a great mom. My DH's twin brother died when he was only 38. His kids were 6 and 8 at the time and my SIL was just so amazing to me. She was just so strong and she really kept everything together for the kids. I often wondered if I would be that strong and together for my kids but I think it takes a special kind of person. I haven't been so touched by anyone's strength since my SIL eight years ago until now when I see Terri Irwin. I really hope they are all able to find some peace and healing.
