Stay at home Mom to working woman- tips please

[MomToOne]

If you are not a meal planner and/or once a week grocery shopper (at most), then become one. No point wasting your limited free time in constant trips to the grocery store.

If you don't already, set up as many of your bills as you can on autopay.

Make a list of all the meals you can have ready in 30 minutes or less. These become your standard Monday-Friday dinners when doing your meal planning. I'm not saying you need to do all the cooking - others in the house can also do that, but I assume everyone will have the same time limitations. Get in the habit of grabbing whatever you need out of the freezer for tomorrow's dinner when you are cooking tonight's.

Accept the fact that weekends may become more focused on chores/errands than before, and less on "fun" stuff. It's just a reality of working life. It's OK.

Expect others in the household to help - don't just ask, don't expect them to read your mind, TELL them what to do. My teenage daughter knows she is expected to help out around the house, and specifically what she is to do. It's not an option - she has things she is capable of doing, and she has to do them. I don't expect anything outrageous (dishes, cat box, taking out garbage, vacuuming, clean her room/bathroom, etc.), but I will admit it is more than many of her friends are expected to do, esp the ones with a stay-at-home parent. Oh well, life is hard.

If you don't already have one, keep your eyes and ears open for a good general handyman/woman you can have on speed dial on your phone! Things going wrong with the house is one of the biggest pain points I know for working parents. Having someone who is available on short notice and you can trust to be in your home, possibly even when you aren't there, is worth it's weight in gold!!

 

[powellrj]

Congrats! That is a big step! Try to leave work at work. If you have a work problem, don't bring it home and have stress there too. If you see you are going to need new clothes, try to stick to a color theme. I only wear black and navy pants, so it makes shopping and dressing really easy.

I will also pre cook lots of meals on the weekends so all I had to do was heat them up. Soups and stews and casseroles are good like this.

 

[ktlm]

Congratulations!!! As a professional Mom, the tips I would give you are on the workplace side. Dress appropriately. Did you notice what people were wearing when you interviewed? If so, be sure you are in line with that. Err on the side of dressy at first. Be on time. Have a good attitude. I love employees that are kind, who want to be helpful, who care about their job, and who are not huge complainers constantly ( a little complaining goes with the territory). Be kind to your fellow employees- don't be known as the troublemaker who stirs things up or the person that is nice to the boss, but mean to other people. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you do not know how to do something. I would much rather have my employees ask questions and get things done right, than go off on their own not knowing what they are doing and make a total mess of things. They know that you are new and will expect you need training and to have to learn things. Don't be afraid to take responsibility if you mess something up. Everyone makes mistakes- one measure of a good employee is how they handle things when they make mistakes. Nothing annoys me more than an employee that tries to cover up mistakes (or is not truthful) instead of just telling me what they have done and letting me help them fix it. Honesty goes a long way!

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Congrats! Now that you've gotten the job, let me tell you - you are not unemployable, you never were unemployable. I don't know who told you that, but it isn't true. Yes, some people won't want to hire you because of your gap in employment, but there are plenty of employers who like older ladies who used to be SAHMs. You are stable, you will be there on time every day, you know how to work independently, you can figure things out on your own, you have amazing management skills and are a good team player.

Now go and rock that new job.

 

[Raya]

I'm not lucky enough to be a mom but I have recently transitioned from a jeans & sneakers workplace to a business/suits workplace. I'd strongly recommend you look into a capsule wardrobe. Here's a great tutorial on how 10 pieces can make 56 outfits, and it's from Goodwill, so the cost is cheap. http://www.goodwillvalleys.com/GOODWILL 10-Piece Wardrobe.pdf

http://www.theviviennefiles.com/ This blog is great at giving ideas, but tends to be a bit price-y for the clothes.

 

[dreiwhit]

Congrats. My wife has been a stay at home mom for 14 years now, and we've talked about her going back to work one day when the kids are in college.

One piece of advice I can give you is you will have to relax your standards a little. By that I mean if little things don't get done around the house, they don't get done. That is the reality of trying to work full time and keep a house.

This is some of the best advise you can get. I had to learn it myself when I had my first full time job. You won't have enough time after you start working to be able to get done a fraction of what you used to be able to get done around the house. Just tell yourself that you'll get to it another day, and let it go.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Congrats on the new job. I don't have kids, so I have never been a SAHM, but I do work one full time job and another part time job, so I have to be pretty organized about house stuff. Definitely meal plan - I just do one week at a time. I grocery shop on Sundays after church and based on what was a good deal at the grocery, I come home and do the meal plan for that week. I generally do all my errands on Saturday (both of my jobs are M-F). Luckily, DH does quite a bit of the cleaning around the house because he works a lot less hours than I do. We keep the house picked up and generally clean, but honestly, the only time I do a big top to bottom cleaning is when people are coming over.

 

[Julylady]

Congratulations! My advice is to avoid office politics. Be friendly to all, but don't get too close to anyone. Some people will try to be your new best friend for reasons you don't even know anything about. Other might appear to give you the cold shoulder, again for reasons you know nothing about. Be nice, but somewhat distant for a while. Don't accept Facebook requests, don't accept invitations to parties, etc. You will need to spend 6-9 months understanding both what is expected of you on the job as well as the culture of the organization. Don't bring your home life to work. That means retraining your kids, husband and other family/friends that you are not available to chat during the day. Also, don't schedule appointments like doctor, dentist, haircuts, etc. during work time. You might get away with this after you have been on the job for 10 years, but not the first year. Always have a smile on your face and accept all new projects even if they weren't on the original job description. Your job is not to make waves. Take on extra work. Go out of your way to meet people and learn about what they do. Try to remember the names of the people you meet and a little bit about them so that you can ask more later. Ask a lot of questions, but only about work activities. Don't pry into coworker's private lives. If you share common space, be respectful and take less than your share rather than more. Clean up after yourself. If its common to take your turn at bringing snacks, find out what the norm is and do the same - don't do more, don't do less. Don't be late, even if others are.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Congratulations! My advice is to avoid office politics. Be friendly to all, but don't get too close to anyone. Some people will try to be your new best friend for reasons you don't even know anything about. Other might appear to give you the cold shoulder, again for reasons you know nothing about. Be nice, but somewhat distant for a while. Don't accept Facebook requests, don't accept invitations to parties, etc. You will need to spend 6-9 months understanding both what is expected of you on the job as well as the culture of the organization. Don't bring your home life to work. That means retraining your kids, husband and other family/friends that you are not available to chat during the day. Also, don't schedule appointments like doctor, dentist, haircuts, etc. during work time. You might get away with this after you have been on the job for 10 years, but not the first year. Always have a smile on your face and accept all new projects even if they weren't on the original job description. Your job is not to make waves. Take on extra work. Go out of your way to meet people and learn about what they do. Try to remember the names of the people you meet and a little bit about them so that you can ask more later. Ask a lot of questions, but only about work activities. Don't pry into coworker's private lives. If you share common space, be respectful and take less than your share rather than more. Clean up after yourself. If its common to take your turn at bringing snacks, find out what the norm is and do the same - don't do more, don't do less. Don't be late, even if others are.

A lot of this is good advice but I can't see not making any appointments for a year.

At my job we start accruing vacay hours on each paycheck from day one and we're allowed to start using it (with advance approval) after the 60 day probation period.
No reason to neglect your health; just find out what the rules are for taking time off.

 

[Monykalyn]

OP-if you are out there please let us know how the job/transition is going! Hoping things are going well for you!

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

One piece of practical advice. If you're going from a single-income family to a two-income family, your income will essentially all be taxed in the highest bracket of the other wage-earner. When you fill out your W-4 for your job, it wouldn't hurt to add some extra withholding, like maybe $25/paycheck, so that when tax time comes next year you don't owe Uncle Sam a chunk. That's one thing a lot of people don't account for and don't realize until the file their tax return.

 

[LuvOrlando]

OP-if you are out there please let us know how the job/transition is going! Hoping things are going well for you!

So I've been working 2 weeks now & it's been something else

First, I am pooped.... So very very pooped lol. I am in a school district office so the hours are 8-4 but I've been getting up at 6 to throw yoga pants make my way to Wawa hang with my dog on the sofa sip coffee and wake up. On the up side I show up at work wide awake but on the down side I totally crash at 10pm.

Yay for the suggestion to pull out clothes ahead of time, I'm actually pulling 3 outfits out at a time & it's such a big help. Thank goodness I have a lot of church clothes because dressy casual is the office vibe. Since I am dealing with the public and this is a fairly economically depressed area simple and less is more so I am copying. At first I wore heels but sling back sandels seem more like what's around me so I'm focusing more on blending with the herd and going with that. Glad I don't have clothes and shoes as an expense.

So food for dinner is going ok. My daughter is helping me a bit. I am pulling out 3 frozen meats at a time & giving it room. When my husband travels and my daughter is out I tend to eat a bowl of carrots and dip. I am struggling with how to eat during the day. I took 1 pm lunch but it's only s half hour so I have been seeming to get a bit dizzy and need to do a better job managing workday meals. I'm used to coffee, lunch and then snacks plus dinner. I think I need to do an egg in the morning plus something small around 11, thinking my salad is a fail but I'm not very hungry at lunch so I don't want to be gaggy or give myself a headache with something processed so I'm not sure what's a good plan yet. I've been steeping tea during lunch and coasting through the pm on that caffeine but need to find a better plan.

I run errands after work, I get out at 4 so that hour before the world shuts down at 5 is a big help.

Office politics, the person training me is a kook rotfl. She is being pushed out and not loving me so much so she has been making things harder than necessar had a group conversation the other day & she was talking dress code & suggested if someone doesn't know what to wear they could try the outfit on the night before & text her a photo to see what she things... Ummm what??? Speechless. So I'm just sort of watching, saying positive things, jumping in as often as possible and waiting for the dust to clear. Something is definitely up, I don't know what exactly but there is a disturbance in the force lol

Seems a lot of people have been moved around & I think it was meant to disrupt some negative clique behavior so I am lying low until I get a beat on the source of the weirdness.

 

[2girlsR2good]

So I've been working 2 weeks now & it's been something else

First, I am pooped.... So very very pooped lol. I am in a school district office so the hours are 8-4 but I've been getting up at 6 to throw yoga pants make my way to Wawa hang with my dog on the sofa sip coffee and wake up. On the up side I show up at work wide awake but on the down side I totally crash at 10pm.

Yay for the suggestion to pull out clothes ahead of time, I'm actually pulling 3 outfits out at a time & it's such a big help. Thank goodness I have a lot of church clothes because dressy casual is the office vibe. Since I am dealing with the public and this is a fairly economically depressed area simple and less is more so I am copying. At first I wore heels but sling back sandels seem more like what's around me so I'm focusing more on blending with the herd and going with that. Glad I don't have clothes and shoes as an expense.

So food for dinner is going ok. My daughter is helping me a bit. I am pulling out 3 frozen meats at a time & giving it room. When my husband travels and my daughter is out I tend to eat a bowl of carrots and dip. I am struggling with how to eat during the day. I took 1 pm lunch but it's only s half hour so I have been seeming to get a bit dizzy and need to do a better job managing workday meals. I'm used to coffee, lunch and then snacks plus dinner. I think I need to do an egg in the morning plus something small around 11, thinking my salad is a fail but I'm not very hungry at lunch so I don't want to be gaggy or give myself a headache with something processed so I'm not sure what's a good plan yet. I've been steeping tea during lunch and coasting through the pm on that caffeine but need to find a better plan.

I run errands after work, I get out at 4 so that hour before the world shuts down at 5 is a big help.

Office politics, the person training me is a kook rotfl. She is being pushed out and not loving me so much so she has been making things harder than necessar had a group conversation the other day & she was talking dress code & suggested if someone doesn't know what to wear they could try the outfit on the night before & text her a photo to see what she things... Ummm what??? Speechless. So I'm just sort of watching, saying positive things, jumping in as often as possible and waiting for the dust to clear. Something is definitely up, I don't know what exactly but there is a disturbance in the force lol

Seems a lot of people have been moved around & I think it was meant to disrupt some negative clique behavior so I am lying low until I get a beat on the source of the weirdness.

Congratulations! I have hired a few women who were re-entering the workforce after significant time away. It's something I made a specific point to do and it's really worked out most of the time. I hired people who were overqualified in terms of education, but had big gaps in experience. Some of them are now moved on to much bigger and better things. Others realized they really didn't want a fulltime job! Here's what I would advise--the first of which you're already doing--lay low with suggestions for improvements until you've had a chance to really observe for a while.

Other suggestions:
Offer to help with things that aren't strictly your job when there's a crunch (but be wary of the person who is trying to pawn work off on you).
Express how glad you are to be working and to be a part of the organization.
Only stay late when specifically requested to do so and the overtime or flex schedule has been determined and communicated. Overtime rules are strict and your supervisor can be reprimanded if you are working late without clear approval.
Avoid long social conversations--even if "there's nothing to do" at the moment, you could be learning more about the job, reviewing old files, etc.
If you need to text/talk on your cell for personal reasons beyond briefly, take your phone with you to a private place. There's something infuriating about an employee frequently texting at his/her work area.
Speak up and ask for training or help if there's something you don't know how to do. Lots of programs are quite different from what they used to be, and whoever hired you is surely expecting that your skills in things like managing a mail merge might need updating.

If lunch is at one, a snack in the office mid-morning is totally reasonable.
I think one of the hardest things about the transition is the lack of flexibility--I see women really miss the chance to grab coffee with a friend, shop during uncrowded times, take a mid-day exercise class, etc. On the other hand, you're making money! Money is a tool, so spend some of it on things that make your life easier (does your grocery store offer the option to shop for you and you can pull up and have the groceries loaded into your car?) Get a massage once a month. Buy the grocery store "half-prepped" food if you like it.

One thing, volunteering has to get cut back if that's something you've been doing. If others are used to thinking that you're available, you'll need to adjust their expectations. You deserve to not be busy all the time. I remember one woman telling me she was taking vacation days to teach VBS. It wasn't what she wanted to do, but she felt "guilty" because she'd been doing it for years. That's not a recipe for good mental health!

Congrats again!

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Congrats! It sounds like you are doing very well adjusting to the new job.

As to the office politics. . .it will be like that anywhere you go, sorry to say. Sounds like you're doing exactly what you should do by staying out of it.

On the food front, you will just have to develop a lunch repertoire that is suited to working. I can nosh on fruit at my desk, so I do that quite a bit. Several of my co-workers bring leftovers. You said you didn't want processed food, but there are some very healthy options in the frozen section these days, especially at Trader Joe's and Target, and many that are small portions, not a full lunch. You can even get good, healthy shelf stable stuff to keep in a desk, like Tasty Bites Indian food. In my town, there's even a diet company that does 15 healthy, hand-prepared meals that equal about 1000 calories a day for $80 a week (you can scale up if you want from the 1000 calories). Just keep your eyes open. I'm not a big salad girl at work myself, with a few exceptions. It's just not. . .well, it doesn't fit into eating quickly and doesn't seem to last.