Starting to Worry About My Husband

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by MIGrandma, Jan 5, 2013.

  1. MIGrandma

    MIGrandma Lives in the middle-of-the-mitten.

    Aug 12, 2009
    DH has had a lower back ache for the past few days, with it steadily getting worse. Last night we had to attend a visitation at a funeral home in town, and it was difficult for him to even walk inside. I was cold so was walking fast and turned to him and jokingly said, "hey, catch up!" and he said he couldn't, it hurt too much to try and walk fast. :(

    After we got home he put a heating pad on his lower back and thought it helped. But. He feels worse this morning and feels like the pain is "gravitating toward his stomach." :(

    Of course he won't call the doctor, he's a man, he's stubborn. :(

    He's attending the funeral this morning, and took a hot, soaking bath before he got dressed. He said he just felt awful. Even kind of clammy and sweaty so he took his temperature, but it was actually below normal.

    I worry that it could be serious. Kidney stone? Gall stone? I just don't know. I feel bad for him but don't know how I can help, since he won't call the doctor. :(

    I had gall stones (gall bladder removed in '77) so I know what that pain feels like, never had a kidney stone so could that be it?

    'Course now it's the weekend and the doctor's office is closed. But if he isn't better by Monday I'll call myself.
  2. palmtreegirl

    palmtreegirl Loving life in Florida

    Jan 28, 2003
    Is he passing urine? If not, then it definitely could be a kidney stone. If it is, the pain will get so bad, he'll want you to take him to the ER. My "never go to the doctor" Dad had them when I was little and he went to the doctor. I had them a few years ago and dang, the pain was horrible, right up there with labor.

    Just adding I agree with the others if the pain is that bad get him to the ER right away.
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  4. DebbieB

    DebbieB DIS Veteran

    Aug 24, 1999
    If he feels "just awful", I'd get him to urgent care or ER.
  5. abdmom

    abdmom DIS Veteran

    Apr 6, 2008
    It could be just about anything, including a heart attack. I'd get him to the ER. Better safe than sorry.
  6. The Mystery Machine

    The Mystery Machine Sunrise at my house. :+)

    Jan 4, 2001
    My dh had a heart attack and then a triple bypass. I am playing caregiver now.

    His symptoms were not even typical. He had the heart attack a week before he finally got diagnosed.

    Here is my 2cents since my dh's "misdiagnosis" at the Urgent Care, get a blood test for the enzyme or an EKG to make sure it is NOT a heart attack.

    We thought it was the stomach flu. I mean his white count was up, he was dehydrated from barfing 30 times, his back/chest hurt (we blamed that on the barfing because he does get heartburn), he did have faint numbness a few days before in his arm. The doc gave him 3 bags of fluids at the Urgent Care. I cannot believe we did not even think heart attack.

    Looking back though, hindsight right, his was whiteish and cold and clammy. When he said he could not do X task without getting short of breath I told him to go to the ER because THAT is NOT a "stomach flu" symptom.

    Hopefully it is nothing. Good Luck!
  7. Stitchfans

    Stitchfans Tres Charming

    Jan 30, 2005
    if he can hardly walk from the pain that isn't good. I'd really try to get him to have it checked out. I had something similar like that many years ago and ended up being a sciatic nerve that was pinched. But as said it could be anything.
  8. lsyorke

    lsyorke DIS Veteran

    Feb 2, 2002
    TO THE ER NOW! Back pain can be a myriad of things, with some of the major ones being VERY critical, especially if he is older. GO NOW
  9. abbadackerygirl

    abbadackerygirl Earning My Ears

    Jan 1, 2013
    Cold and clammy is never good. Back pain and cold & sweaty are both signs of a heart attack.

    Tell him how important to you it is for him to go to the doctor, and tell him it could be serious. Especially with a lower temp. Lower temp can be caused by low blood pressure. He could have so many other things, kidney stones, perforated intestine, but you can't diagnose him, and neither can he. GET HIM TO THE ER! I'd call an ambulance RIGHT NOW, and have the EMTs check his vitals. If he wont listen to you, he might listen to them.... Good luck.

    My mother's been ER nurse for 22 years, and I am a Veterinary Technician. Trust me, he needs a doc.
  10. abbadackerygirl

    abbadackerygirl Earning My Ears

    Jan 1, 2013
    My thoughts exactly!
  11. MOpGrad2013

    MOpGrad2013 DIS Veteran

    Dec 29, 2012
    Yes definitely go to the ER/Urgent could be quite a few things.

    Keep us posted.

    In our prayers and thoughts.
  12. npmommie

    npmommie <font color=red>Channels George Michael in her car

    Oct 11, 2007
    I agree with the others, get him to the ER to get checked out.
  13. NHdisneylover

    NHdisneylover DIS Veteran

    Feb 26, 2007
    Ifyou have not left for an ER or urgent care yet, please do ASAP.

    I'll keep you and your husband n my thoughts, and please, when you have time, let us all know how he is doing.
  14. 4nana

    4nana God Bless America, Land of the Free and Brave

    Sep 10, 2000
    MIGma, I share yours and everyones concern :worried:. Yes, our dear soul mates can be so stubborn and brush symptoms off. If he is in that much pain, he will probably feel worst upon returning from funeral :(. Better safe than sorry, sometimes we have to take matters in our own hands concerning loved ones health/illness.

    Not to scare you, but I've been there sweetie, better safe than sorry ...gave my DH choice of calling an ambulance or I'd drive him to UC - of course he refused to hear of ambulance, so I drove him to UC, who quickly assessed him, hooked him to IV. They immediately called ambulance for ER and praise God they saved his life! Lord forbid, if we're ever in that situation again, we both know it's ER period! Hugs and prayers, good luck, and pls keep us updated. :hug:
  15. gottalovethat

    gottalovethat Earning My Ears

    Jan 2, 2013
    I don't have any advice on what may be causing his discomfort but I will have you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping everything works out okay.
  16. BearcatsFan

    BearcatsFan <font color=green>we finally had a minute to breat

    Dec 30, 2011
    I am so sorry your husband isn't feeling well. I will echo what the others have said - I truly think you should get him to the ER if possible. It really could be anything, from a simple backache to something far more serious.
    This is no time to take chances.

    I feel for you. I have to drag my husband to the doctor, too.

    I'll keep you and him in my thoughts and prayers. Please update us when you know more. :hug:
  17. PrincessKsMom

    PrincessKsMom <img src=

    Feb 9, 2008
    Sending prayers that everything is okay
  18. KateKat23

    KateKat23 Mouseketeer

    Aug 17, 2009
    I would definately get him to the ER too!! Back in November my husband was feeling really sick. I went to lunch with my work friends and when I got home he looked really bad and couldnt even stand up. He was in so much pain. Every thing hurt...lower back and his legs. He was also running a fever. So I was able to get him up and in our truck got him to the ER and thank God I did. He had a blood clot in his leg. But that wasn't the only thing going on. The next week he was getting worse and worse so we got him to the VA clinic (husband is a retired veteran) and they did a bunch of blood tests and xrays. They found out that he has a very rare disease called Parvo. He caught it when he was out in North Dakota when he was hunting geese. The doctor thinks that one of the birds had it and my husband has cuts on his hands and the blood of the geese tainted my husband blood.
    My point to this whole rambling is get him to the hospital because it could be something totally different than you think it is.
  19. Laura66

    Laura66 DIS Veteran

    Dec 11, 2004
    Just seeing this now-I hope you've taken him to the ER. Keeping you both in my prayers
  20. horseshowmom

    horseshowmom DIS Veteran

    Jul 21, 2000
    As bad as he sounds, I agree about getting firm with him. Just tell him that you're going - period.

    Not to sound melodramatic, but we have a young computer tech who works for our school that recently had some issues that turned out to be serious. He was having stomach pains but didn't go to the doctor. His supervisor is my age (meaning old enough to be his mother) and told him that she meant for him to go to the doctor immediately.

    He did go and was found to have a mass in his pelvic area. He's in his upper twenties and was told not to worry too much, that 80% of this type of mass was benign.

    It turned out that he's in the 20% that is malignant, and he's awaiting surgery right now.

    By no means am I saying your husband has cancer, but you just never know what it might be. If he's in that much pain, waiting is likely to make it worse whatever it is. Ask him if he wants to go by car or ambulance?
  21. PatsMom

    PatsMom <font color=blue>Sometimes has Dory moments!<br><f

    Feb 17, 2000
    It may be tough but I would encourage you to get him to medical care. there are so many things that can cause pain that bad - lots of them nothing but an annoyance but many can be very serious if not treated.

    Some people (not only men) are so stubborn about getting medical care! Severe pain is the body's way of telling you something is not right I think.

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