starting Kindergarten

[Kae]

My children would NEVER attend a school where I wasn't welcome to stop in and check on them. It sounds like they have something to hide. Just a peek through the window the kids won't even notice. Just because my child is at school doesn't take away my parental rights. I also can't imagine a school that doesn't allow parent volunteers! What a waste of a valuable resource! With all the issues on funding you would think the schools would take advantage of parent volunteers. Of course at our school you have to stop in the office and sign in. You also have to wear a visitor tag. That makes it easy to tell if someone shouldn't be there. They wouldn't have a visitor tag.

Really. I cannot even imagine just peeking in. Most schools do have Volunteers but it is set up ahead of time, you don't just pop in to Volunteer.

Kae

 

[MinnieGi]

I am a former teacher who is now a SAHM and I love volunteering in my children's school for a variety of reasons. It allows me to see my children in their classroom settings and get to know the teachers and other students better. While my children's public school does have an open door policy, you must sign in at the office and have a designated place to go. I don't think they or anybody else would like a wandering parent peeking through doors!! (safety issue and classroom disruption issue)!!

I know its so hard to let that first one go to the BIG school and you'll just be on edge wanting to know how its going, try to make time to volunteer in her classroom and that transition will be alot easier.

That is a question to ask the private school - do they allow and want parent volunteers? I used to teach at a catholic school that did not and for that very reason I would not send my kids there. As a parent I want to be involved and help out in the classroom, library as well as PTA.

 

[KristiMc]

I am a SAHM of two boys (3rd grade and K). I am involved at both of their schools (PTO, library, classroom helper). I am in the schools regularly but do not go to their classrooms unless I am scheduled to help out. I don't want to interrupt the teacher.

We are allowed to come in whenever for lunch. They did ask for the K parents not to come in for the first month so that the kids could get adjusted to the new situation without mom or dad there.

We all get buzzed in and then have to sign in at the office and wear a tag so they know we are visitors.

 

[hedgehog2owl]

Open door policy at our private school.

Even the local public school here lets you come in for lunch-just have to sign in

 

[emma'smom]

My dd's go to a private school and the message is very clear that parents are always welcome to drop in. Most do not, but sometimes they do. It is easiest when they let the teacher know in advance if they plan to spend time in the classroom with their child so that the teacher tell the parent the best time to come.

Last year, there were a few separation issues in the beginning of the year...so the teacher put up a screen (like a little room divider) at one end of the room where parents can pop in and peek through to see their child without creating a disturbance. Once the issues died down...parents were openly encouraged to come in again.

I have to say that I'm in both of my dd's classrooms for professional reasons frequently and it has never really been an issue. I realize that this is a different situation than a regular pop-in. However, I just wave at my child and she waves back. Then I do my work and she does hers.

I can see teachers not always being comfortable with frequent pop-ins and that this practice might be discouraged on a regular basis, but I do think an "open-door" policy overall is a good idea as it sends the message that parent are welcome and valued and, as you said, that they have nothing to hide.

 

[Leajess99]

I am really glad that my children's schools welcome parents. We do have to sign in the office and wear a visitor's badge but we can have lunch with the kids or peek in on them. My children have never been upset by seeing me in the school and since I used to volunteer I was there quite a bit. Her class last year had more disruptions from the teacher's kids who saw their parents daily than from kids whose parents peeked in on them. I think that the teacher's kids should probably not be attending the school where mom works especially if they suffer from separation anxiety as that can be most disruptive.

 

[Happiest mommy]

Good Morning to my oh so knowlegable DISers wanted to let you guys know that I took the advice that some of you guys suggested and called up the school this morning expressed my concern to the principal about feeling that parents were not welcomed, I asked about volunteering and she said I could not volunteer at my daughters class because lets say Timmy see's Mary's mommy and wonders "where is my mommy why is my mommy not here too?" and that does'nt set a good mood in the room but she did say that I could volunteer for lunch/yard monitor that would not be a problem so I feel a bit better about this what do you guys think? for those of you guys who do volunteer for lunch/yard what do you do and how do you feel? TIA

 

[princessmom29]

Good Morning to my oh so knowlegable DISers wanted to let you guys know that I took the advice that some of you guys suggested and called up the school this morning expressed my concern to the principal about feeling that parents were not welcomed, I asked about volunteering and she said I could not volunteer at my daughters class because lets say Timmy see's Mary's mommy and wonders "where is my mommy why is my mommy not here too?" and that does'nt set a good mood in the room but she did say that I could volunteer for lunch/yard monitor that would not be a problem so I feel a bit better about this what do you guys think? for those of you guys who do volunteer for lunch/yard what do you do and how do you feel? TIA

If you want to volenteer, and feel comfortable then do so. You are basically there to help out whatever teacher is supervising the children. Help open milks at lunch, or monitor safety on the playground. I can totally see them not wanting you in your child's calssroom. MY DD does fine with me in the room, but BFF's kids don't cope well with having her there. They either get whiny and clingy or start acting up to get Mom's undivided attention because they are jealous of her giving attention to the other kids. It can create all kinds of classroom problems that the teacher then has to deal with. Different schools have different rules about it, and I think that as long as they are allowing parents onto campus regularly to help out there is not a problem. I am sure that if there were a real problem with your DD the teacher would call you. I only taught preschool briefly while in college, but I have called moms in the past when their child didn't settle in after a few days, or was acutely upset and inconsolable the frist couple days. I would give them strategies to cope with the transition like setting up a goodbye routine ect.. Most of the time we were able to take care of the problem in a couple of days with no need for the parent to stay in the room. The most important componet for success was having a parent that was willing to let go. You have to say a quick goodbye, and then leave with a positive attitude, letting the child know when you will return. They will likely cry the first day, maybe the first week if they have never been left before, but you have to walk away. I went through it from the parent side as well with DD, but I did it because I knew it was what was best for her. Parents that would do this and stick to it were a huge help. The ones that came back to peek in, check on thier kid, or pick up early had a much harder time. I gave this long drawn out explination because this could be part of the reason for the rule about parents in thier child's classroom. It totally disrupts this transition process to have a parent, anyone's parent, in the room.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

All of the things people seem to be concerned about just don't happen at our school. The hall isn't flooded with parents peeking in windows. Just because we have an open door policy doesn't mean the kids aren't safe. The parents must sign in and wear a visitor pass. I have never seen another child cry because their parent wasn't there. It seems to me like everyone is worried about what ifs. Our teachers say we can stop in at anytime with or without notice. They always have something we can do to help out.

I am not saying the schools without an open door policy have something to hide. I'm just saying it would seem like that.

I'm sorry, but only being allowed on the playground would not be okay with me. You should be allowed to observe the classroom if you want to.

 

[CrAzY4DL]

My DDs both attend a Charter school which we loooove and has a 100% open door policy. The first 4 weeks of school they do ask that there are no volunteers so they can establish their routines and rules and whatnot, but after that, it's open season.

I volunteer in DD10's class on Mondays and after signing in at the office and putting on my visitors badge I head to DD6's class for a kiss and a quick reminder of "No Chatty Cathy" (she is soooooo social! LOL) and then head to DD10's class. Usually her teacher sends me out to the "parent room" to make copies and/or use the paper cutter and when I return to the room I stuff the purple folders (all of the informative paperwork we get each week comes home in a purple folder on Mondays) and occasionally help out with tests or quizzes or correcting home/schoolwork. I try to eat lunch with DD10 on Mondays, some days I just don't make it in time tho.

I volunteer in DD6's class on Wednesdays and I sign in and put on my visitors badge. I am almost 100% of that day IN the classroom, doing a lot of reading tests for the kids (they have really been flying on their reading levels this year, sooo awesome!), spelling tests, whatnot. Usually I will be able to say hi to DD10 during her PE time or lunchtime on this day.

At our school, we have the same teacher and students for 2 years in a row which we absolutely love and have such a great relationship with the teachers, it's everything we want in a school. DH never misses a field trip and occasionally is able to come in for a few hours (usually for Fun Fridays or parties).

OP-I don't get a red flag from your school, if everything else about the school is right on with what you want I would go for it, especially since there is an option for you to be involved. At our school, it is not uncommon for mothers of some kinders to have to stay most or all day for the first month or two (or longer). We had this happen in both DD's kinder classes. Hope that helps!

 

[princessmom29]

All of the things people seem to be concerned about just don't happen at our school. The hall isn't flooded with parents peeking in windows. Just because we have an open door policy doesn't mean the kids aren't safe. The parents must sign in and wear a visitor pass. I have never seen another child cry because their parent wasn't there. It seems to me like everyone is worried about what ifs. Our teachers say we can stop in at anytime with or without notice. They always have something we can do to help out.

I am not saying the schools without an open door policy have something to hide. I'm just saying it would seem like that.

I'm sorry, but only being allowed on the playground would not be okay with me. You should be allowed to observe the classroom if you want to.

I have seen these things happen, so for me they are not what if's but real problems that do occur with an open door policy. At one point I had 4 moms who wanted to "peek in" every day to see how Johnny/Janey was doing. One went so far as to sand in the flower beds and peek through my blinds. I have had a child lose it completely upon seeing another child with their mom in the classroom more than once. Even parents with a visitor's pass need to be supervised. If we don't know where they are and why they are here we cannot do that. I agree that if a parent has a specific concern they should be able to schedule a time to observe their child in the classroom, but just popping by whenever is disruptive, and I have seen many parents abuse it. It can definitely be a real problem with parents who push the boundaries.

 

[deerhart]

not only are we free to drop in and check on our kids at any time (regardless of the grade), the school administration actually encourages it!

 

[Arabella1978]

There was also the mom that showed up every day at lunch and SPOON-FED her kindergartener.

Wow hello therapy later in life!!!

 

[princessmom29]

At our school, it is not uncommon for mothers of some kinders to have to stay most or all day for the first month or two (or longer). We had this happen in both DD's kinder classes. Hope that helps!

That is a REALLY bad situation to set up! We NEVER allowed parents to stay in the classroom with a child who it having trouble seperating. They couldeither leave the child and allow us to settle them, or take them home and try again tomorrow. The way i see it, letting mom sit in the classroom totally sabatoges any effort to set up a seperation routine and undermines the independence of the child. I connot believe that a a school. much less a charter school, would allow that! Totally bizarre in my opinion and something I have never seen any school do. It goes against all the research I have ever read on fostering independence in a school setting.

 

[Arabella1978]

That is a REALLY bad situation to set up! We NEVER allowed parents to stay in the classroom with a child who it having trouble seperating. They couldeither leave the child and allow us to settle them, or take them home and try again tomorrow. The way i see it, letting mom sit in the classroom totally sabatoges any effort to set up a seperation routine and undermines the independence of the child. I connot believe that a a school. much less a charter school, would allow that! Totally bizarre in my opinion and something I have never seen any school do. It goes against all the research I have ever read on fostering independence in a school setting.

I have a friend who did that with her son his first year of school....it was totally bizarre. The mom and dad would take turns sitting in the back of the classroom every day for the entire kindergarten year. I couldn't believe the school let them do that...it was a public school! This child didn't have any sort of diagnosed medical condition, but he hated kindergarten and in first grade he was so behind his peers socially that they ended up holding him back. It was a very sad and strange situation. It actually sort of ruined our friendship with them becuase whenever we would suggest they try to just 'let him go' and stop going to school with him they would get really defensive and tell us it was none of their business. I guess it wasn't but it was just really weird...

 

[ShannonMB]

Hi OP! I think if you were looking at a daycare for a very young child, the red flags would be flying for me about a closed-door policy. But as they get to be school-aged and are expected to be on-task, I can see where it would be disruptive to have parents in and out. If you are comfortable with the school, your child's teacher, and their daily routines, I would trust it. Your child is probably old enough to verbalize if something isn't right.

 

[Alesia]

Hi OP! I think if you were looking at a daycare for a very young child, the red flags would be flying for me about a closed-door policy. But as they get to be school-aged and are expected to be on-task, I can see where it would be disruptive to have parents in and out. If you are comfortable with the school, your child's teacher, and their daily routines, I would trust it. Your child is probably old enough to verbalize if something isn't right.

I agree completely.

 

[Kae]

Last year, there were a few separation issues in the beginning of the year...so the teacher put up a screen (like a little room divider) at one end of the room where parents can pop in and peek through to see their child without creating a disturbance. Once the issues died down...parents were openly encouraged to come in again.

I the kids couldn't see you/the parents then who had the separation issues? I would have to say it was the parents.

And we can also do lunch when we want but that is not "Popping in"
Kae

 

[princessmom29]

Hi OP! I think if you were looking at a daycare for a very young child, the red flags would be flying for me about a closed-door policy. But as they get to be school-aged and are expected to be on-task, I can see where it would be disruptive to have parents in and out. If you are comfortable with the school, your child's teacher, and their daily routines, I would trust it. Your child is probably old enough to verbalize if something isn't right.

ITA