Sports Team Travel Policy questions

[KiKi Mouse]

Good morning sports parents.

I want to know if any other sports teams have a similiar travel policy to the one that was just emailed to us this morning. Tell me what you think of this.

Here are the items that cause my husband and I concern:

1) While attending any competition, where accommodations are required, the players under the age of majority may not room with any adult, regardless of that adult being a parent, coach, club official or staff members.

2) Unless the Club has a specific rule, only the players, club officials and staff members will be allowed to stay at the hotel accommodations / rooms allocated to the Club.

3) When it involves players under the age of majority, anytime a room is visited by anyone other than the occupant(s) the door will be left ajar for viewing by the coach, manager or MSA delegate.

 

[mjkacmom]

Our travel teams don't do overnights, but for choir and band trips, those are the rules. Kids travel on the bus, and sleep with other kids. Parents stay at other hotels.

 

[golfgal]

I am sure somewhere we have a formal written policy like this but I have not seen it. We do, however, follow these rules for the most part. Our band goes on a couple trips each year. When they stay in a hotel the boys are on one floor, the girls are on another-hotel usually has a security guard posted by the elevators/stairs to monitor (and keep other people not associated with the bands off those floors). They are not allowed to even be on the other FLOOR let alone in the rooms of the opposite sex. Parents are not allowed to room with kids unless they pay for the room themselves and it is ONLY their child in the room. I know sometimes a parent chaperone would want to be the 4th in a room with their own child but then other kids are in that room too-not ok.

We have only gone on golf trips where a hotel room is required and I was the chaperone on that and I had my own room, by my choice. The golf coach is a male and had his own room as well-for obvious reasons. I could have roomed with my DD but I didn't want to .

 

[KiKi Mouse]

In the past we have gone to tournaments and our daughter has stayed in the room with us.

 

[golfgal]

In the past we have gone to tournaments and our daughter has stayed in the room with us.

I guess it depends on how the travel is arranged. When the kids did travel league stuff, everyone made their own hotel reservations, etc. and the kids stayed with their parents. At the high school level all of the travel arrangements are made through the school program itself and they kids room with other kids.

 

[jrmasm]

DD16 frequently goes to tournaments where the girls stay together and are in the 'custody' of the coach from the beginning of the first game until the end of the last. If parents are there, they stay elsewhere. They can attend the games but don't provide transportation or food. Her team has done this for at least 3 years.

There are always 3-4 parent helpers/chaperones.

Some coaches do this, some don't. We have not had an issue with this policy.

 

[DebbieB]

Good morning sports parents.

I want to know if any other sports teams have a similiar travel policy to the one that was just emailed to us this morning. Tell me what you think of this.

Here are the items that cause my husband and I concern:

1) While attending any competition, where accommodations are required, the players under the age of majority may not room with any adult, regardless of that adult being a parent, coach, club official or staff members.

2) Unless the Club has a specific rule, only the players, club officials and staff members will be allowed to stay at the hotel accommodations / rooms allocated to the Club.

3) When it involves players under the age of majority, anytime a room is visited by anyone other than the occupant(s) the door will be left ajar for viewing by the coach, manager or MSA delegate.

How old are your children and what are your concerns?

 

[KiKi Mouse]

13 y/o girl.

Concerns are:

Coaching staff, chaperones, manager drinking alcohol. They have at tournaments in the past but our daughter was staying in the room with us.

Older boys from soccer teams having access to the girls. Some of the girls on our team are boy crazy and engage in what I feel is inappropriate behavior for their age. I don't need my daughter rooming with the ones who are trouble because I am worried that they will invite more trouble into the room.

Adults from other teams having access to the kids.

Members of the public or even hotel staff having access to the kids.

I have worked in law enforcement for twenty years and I have to admit I am tainted. I have seen a lot and am way more aware than most other parents on what dangers are out there.

It makes no sense that my daughter can't stay in the room with her parents and sisters like we have in the past.

 

[Hannathy]

Ours were the same as these.

I think just about every school uses these.

I know my Sister has been taking her band to Disney for at least 15 yrs and has similar rules.


You either trust you own daughter or you don't, that is what it comes down to.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

It has nothing to with trusting my daughter.

Please read my post above for my concerns. My concerns have to do with my trust for adults and other kids.

 

[PlutoPony]

Is this a school sports team or club travel totally outside of school?

Not sure I understand your concerns about other adults having access to the athletes. Is it because of the door having to be open if others are in the room?

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

It has nothing to with trusting my daughter.

Please read my post above for my concerns. My concerns have to do with my trust for adults and other kids.

I read it as you would trust your daughter to contact you if she was put into a situation that was unsafe for her. If the coach had one drink, that should not be a problem, if they get down/dirty drunk, then she should call you. I know I should be able to explain this better, but I have a huge headache.

 

[Hannathy]

It has nothing to with trusting my daughter.

Please read my post above for my concerns. My concerns have to do with my trust for adults and other kids.

you are worried about her having boys in the room. If she doesn't want them in there she will not tolerate it by leaving or calling a chaperon.

What exactly do you think another adult is going to do to your DD? with other girls in the room or with the whole team and all the other adults and coaches? And again I would trust my DD.

 

[DebbieB]

13 y/o girl.

Concerns are:

Coaching staff, chaperones, manager drinking alcohol. They have at tournaments in the past but our daughter was staying in the room with us.

Older boys from soccer teams having access to the girls. Some of the girls on our team are boy crazy and engage in what I feel is inappropriate behavior for their age. I don't need my daughter rooming with the ones who are trouble because I am worried that they will invite more trouble into the room.

Adults from other teams having access to the kids.

Members of the public or even hotel staff having access to the kids.

I have worked in law enforcement for twenty years and I have to admit I am tainted. I have seen a lot and am way more aware than most other parents on what dangers are out there.

It makes no sense that my daughter can't stay in the room with her parents and sisters like we have in the past.

The way it's written, I think it's an insurance issue with a concern of molestation (I work in insurance). I think they are concerned with a parent in a room with children other than their own or having access to the children. It says "in a room allocated to the club". I would ask if you can get a separate room not through the club.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

you are worried about her having boys in the room. If she doesn't want them in there she will not tolerate it by leaving or calling a chaperon.

What exactly do you think another adult is going to do to your DD? with other girls in the room or with the whole team and all the other adults and coaches? And again I would trust my DD.

The girls are not always going to be in the room at the same time. It only takes a minute for something to happen. I know this. My daughter calling somebody after the fact is not going to prevent anything from happening. What do you think an adult or a boy would want to do to a 13 y/o girl?

I get that the association wants to protect players from situations that are currently going through my imagination. However I do not get why I can't stay in the hotel with my own child in my room. That is what we have been told by the manager.

Last year one of the soccer coaches from a different age level was charged with a multitude of sexual assault related offences on an 11 y/o player. He had befriended her...he did not jump out of the bushes and attack her. The government is also going after his house for a proceeds of crime because one of the offences happened in his house. This was a "trusted" person who had gone through all the record checks.

 

[PlutoPony]

So this is an activity outside of school I take it? Is the club / association responsible for the athletes when on this trip (they would be if it was a school team) ? I understand your concerns but imo these things could still happen if she was staying with you unless you guarantee that you're going to be with her at all times - which somewhat defeats the purpose of a team going to these type events (team bonding and generally having a good time as a teenager).

Is there any rule that says that the athletes can never go off by themselves? Would that alleviate some of your concerns if your daughter was always with at least one other athlete?

 

[Hannathy]

The girls are not always going to be in the room at the same time. It only takes a minute for something to happen. I know this. My daughter calling somebody after the fact is not going to prevent anything from happening. What do you think an adult or a boy would want to do to a 13 y/o girl?

I get that the association wants to protect players from situations that are currently going through my imagination. However I do not get why I can't stay in the hotel with my own child in my room. That is what we have been told by the manager.

Last year one of the soccer coaches from a different age level was charged with a multitude of sexual assault related offences on an 11 y/o player. He had befriended her...he did not jump out of the bushes and attack her. The government is also going after his house for a proceeds of crime because one of the offences happened in his house. This was a "trusted" person who had gone through all the record checks.

Again I would trust my child not to be going to the coaches house alone, and if a boy was in her room and she didn't like it she would do what she has been taught, leave, or yell etc. Haven't you taught her this?

She isn't a little child anymore and she will be going on more and more things where you won't be there, you need to trust you have taught her what to do in situations and also realize the chances of things like that happening are so rare it isn't worth keeping them in a bubble over.

You can't stay with her because they either have charge of her as a part of the team and the rules and regulations and I'm sure insurance OR you do and they can't have her going by a different set of rules. They also need to know where she is and they don't want to have to keep dealing with "ok we have responsibility for Suzy for 3 hours but oh wait she decided to go back with her Dad so now we don't" It is too hard and confusing for the chaperons.

Also I don't know of a group anywhere that ever lets kids be by themselves. There is always at least one other child with them, remember the buddy system? That is in place everywhere that my kids have gone form Boy Scouts out in the wilderness to My DD in Italy with orchestra, or HS band at Disney.

 

[akhenaten]

many years of travel hockey in our family... we have always had our son stay with us and of course in the team hotel.

8th grade school trip for two kids... no parents allowed ..kids roomed together... no rules about doors..etc.. but really not a lot of time at the hotel other than sleeping.... and they taped the outside of the kids doors so they could tell if they went out after hours...

I don't know that I would want to allow my daughter to go under those rules...there is no reason that you can not stay at the same hotel.... that rule is really out of line IMO...


ETA sounds like those rules were written more to protect the organization than your DD.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I agree that the organization is trying to protect itself to a certain extent. However lets just say that something did happen to one of the kids.
The association, the club, and the chaperone(s) would be sued for failing to protect a child.

I think it is silly that my daughter can't stay in a room with us. If we want to go we have to stay at another hotel as per the manager.

Hannathy, you just don't get it. You are putting the onus on a 13 y/o girl to just up and leave a situation if she doesn't like it. Do you watch the news or read anything other than the DIS boards? Often children are not given the option of just getting up and leaving or calling if there is something inappropriate going on. Yes there are chaperones, but not in the rooms and I assume the chaperones will be sleeping at some point. So what is to stop something from going on in the middle of the night?

I would prefer that the association have a no alcohol policy for all chaperones, coaches and managers. I think they are setting themselves up for trouble by not having this rule. Every tournament I have been to in the past there has been drinking in the coaches rooms...and that is our team. I know these people but don't *know* them. I also don't know any of the coaching staff from any other teams that may be in the hotel.

I also don't know if all of the rooms are blocked off for the tournament or if there will be members of the public staying in the hotel too. It cheeses me off that somebody off the street can get a room there but we can't because our daughter is attending the tournament.

 

[undertheradar]

If you don't like the policy/rules, don't sign up for the team.