Spoiled Rotten Ungrateful 16 year old Help!

[southernbelle_amy]

I would watch Sweet 16 on MTV with her, and point out how bratty all these kids look and ask if she wants to be the same way? Do NOT let her have your new car. Sure if you are a millioner, but if not why should she get something better that you and your husband worked for?

 

[bellesnow]

My DH & I are firm believers of tough love. Sometimes my DD needs a lesson in it and it doesn't break my heart because I know it is only going to help here grow into a better person.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Honestly, does this even really need to be discussed? Reread what you just wrote and read it as if you were reading a post on the Disney board. You already knew the answer while you were posting the thread. Obviously you don't give in to your child. You are the parent and you need to make adult decisions because children, and yes, 16 is still a child, are incapable of always making smart, sound decisions. All you are right now is an enabler. Time to grow up. Boohoo, she can't get a brand new car. Unfortunately, my heart is not bleeding for her. I wouldn't even give her a used car by the way she's acting.

OP, just tell her no. Since she isn't grateful for the things you do/give, put an end to it.

My biggest fear is that my son will end marrying a spoiled brat. If he does, I know I won't win any MIL awards.

 

[Missy Mouse]

My DH & I are firm believers of tough love. Sometimes my DD needs a lesson in it and it doesn't break my heart because I know it is only going to help here grow into a better person.

Someone has to be tough for them. If you can't be tough over a car how will you be tough when it comes to bigger issues like drugs and alcohol? Once an enabler always an enabler, so nip it before it escalates into something you really won't have control over.

 

[I'mNoPrince]

If you really want to change it and do it fast.


Put all her stuff up on E-bay tell her as she is ungrateful about the car how can she be happy with the other stuff she has as well.

We did this to DD a few years ago when she wanted the lastest and greatest. I only put one small thing up and she flipped her attitude right away.

I do have to say she's due for another one soon.

 

[Amlee]

No kids either, but I can tell you what my oldest brother did to one of his daughters. She decided to get an attitude about things. She was only 8 when this happened, but it can still be used.

While she was at school he cleaned out her room. She had nothing, but her bed, her chest of drawer and the very basic of her clothes. It was only with a attitude change and her learning to respect others did she earn her stuff back.

All it takes now is mentioning if she needs another attitude adjustment and she back on track with things.

 

[Disney Doll]

Are you kidding me??? Advice???!!!! Yes...say no to her and don't discuss it further. And if she chooses to continue to carry on about it, she can do so in her room. And if she continues to carry ona bout it, she won't be driving any car...new, used or otherwise.

Then take her and have her a volunteer at a soup kitchen, so she can see how the other half lives.

 

[Amlee]

Are you kidding me??? Advice???!!!! Yes...say no to her and don't discuss it further. And if she chooses to continue to carry on about it, she can do so in her room. And if she continues to carry ona bout it, she won't be driving any car...new, used or otherwise.

Then take her and have her a volunteer at a soup kitchen, so she can see how the other half lives.

Since I didn't have kids, I didn't want to say this. I thought I might get the, well you just don't understand.

But I'm right there with you. For me it would be no, end of story!

 

[poohandwendy]

Are you kidding me??? Advice???!!!! Yes...say no to her and don't discuss it further. And if she chooses to continue to carry on about it, she can do so in her room. And if she continues to carry ona bout it, she won't be driving any car...new, used or otherwise.

Then take her and have her a volunteer at a soup kitchen, so she can see how the other half lives.

Um, yeah.

I am not sure I understand the dilemma? You basically are saying you have a spoiled child as the result of your own actions. So, change your actions. Am I missing something?

 

[Charade]

Tell her that you've decided she could have a new set of wheels.








Then show her that shiny new Schwinn in the garage.

 

[Hannathy]

First I do not believe in giving kids a car.period. It is OK for you and your DH to have a third car but it is yours not hers. She needs to get permission to drive it. If you establish she drives to school that would be assumed, but any trip outside of that needs to be OK'd. With her attitude she wouldn't be driving anything for awhile at my house. Why is this even being discussed, it is your car, if she wants to go somewhere she may use the older car if that isn't OK then stay home or walk or get a ride. no arguing, no discussing. And I do have a 15 1/2 yr old who will not have a car and will be sharing with me because we can't afford a 3rd car and she doesn't need one. She is well aware of this and has not even mentioned getting another car. If it is convenient for the family for her to drive she will get to use it if it isn't we will take her like we have for 15yrs.

Be firm and don't let her go on and on, say what you need to and tell her discussion over. You are her parent, not her friend.

 

[Amlee]

It took me a few minutes to find this. This was taped to my bedroom door the morning, of my 16th Birthday.

TEENAGERS!
Tired of Being Hassled by Your Stupid Parents?

ACT NOW Move Out, Get a Job, Pay Your Own Bills . . .

While You Still Know

EVERYTHING!​

 

[kandeebunny]

I am 23, I have ALWAYS gotten what I wanted. Was I spoiled...sure a lot of people would say so, but here is the catch to it.

I NEVER asked for anything out of reach for us. I shopped on clearance, I didn't want designer clothes, I never expected them. I never asked for a car, so when I was given a used car (I got moms when she bought a new one) I was more than grateful. (I was givent he car because school was 1 hour away fromt he house and I was involved in theater, choir, bible study, music ministires and amnesty international, she was sick of paying for me to take the bus to school, then drive up the hour there n back to get me after I was done my activities.)

I also maintained great grades, had summer jobs, volunteered and as I said was involved in a LOT of extracirriculars.

My mom told me from day 1 (I went to private school) if I wanted/needed clothes or a car to keep up with my peers to go to work and earn the money myself, she would give me what I needed that she could afford.

Tell you DD that if she wants to continue to have high end things, she needs to get a job and earn them, until then she will get what you deem necessary (and $75 hoodies from Abercrombie are NOT necessary!) And larger purchases can be reserved for birthdays/holidays.

 

[DawnCt1]

Well after I picked myself up off of the floor from laughing hysterically at the proposterous idea that any child should drive a car better than their parents, I would just look her straight in the eye and say, "You must be insane!"
Have her dig out the bike for a while. She needs a lesson in peddling.

 

[snomofinn]

My 16 year old daughter is so spoiled I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm the one who raised her this way so I'm the one who has to undo the damage. She is used to getting almost everything she wants. Ipod, cell phone, designer clothes you name it. Well, we just bought a new car and she assumes it should be hers. She is having a major fit about it. Our older daughter got a new car when she turned 17 but she also had a job to make payments on it. What 16 year old thinks she should have a brand new $18,000 car and her parents should drive a not new car? We had originally bought a used vehicle ( which was going to be hers, she had a cow cuz it was used.)and brought it back to the dealer and replaced it with new because it smelled like cigarete smoke. (So I can see where she got the idea) I am so tired of going around and around with her! Any advice?

Well Iam a little embarrased considering my DD20 was the same way. We purchased a new car for her when she turned 16, I wish it was 18,000! My husband decided she was going to a private school and she needed a nice car, so he bought her a 28,000 car!... I had nothing to do with that decision. He brought it home and said..Happy Birthday! but..on the positive note, she is 20, working full time and going to college full time. She still drives the car and takes very good care of it. Things do work out in the end.

 

[LadyZolt]

Here's another idea: Emancipated minor. In my state, when you're 16, you can petition the court to become emancipated. It requires that you are self-supporting, of course. I told all my kids that, if they don't like it here, I'd sign the papers required by the court and they could live all on their own. I I told them all they have to do is get a job, find a place to live, move into it, pay rent, etc., and I'd be happy to sign for the court. Not suprisingly, NONE of my three kids has taken me up on this fine offer. LOL!

I came close once when my eldest son was 16 and I asked him to clean his bathroom. He said he'd rather move out than do that. So I said, "OK." Then I went to the store to pick something up, laughing to myself all the way and thinking, "Wait till he's in his own place -- he'll have to clean that bathroom, and the living room, buy his own food, pay for his own cable TV, he won't even be able to afford the high speed internet he's using at our house...." Well, by the time I got home a half hour later, DS was in the bathroom cleaning it and said, "I changed my mind. It's not too bad here."

If your DD wants an $18,000 car, simply tell her to get a job and buy one. Also, let her know what the INSURANCE on that kind of car will cost for someone her age. There is a reason most teens are driving used cars. Time for her to wake up and face some facts about life, including car payments, insurance, and that dreaded four-letter word: Work.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I sure didn't get a car when I turned 17! My parents had an extra older car that I could use with permission only, but that was not very often, as they really didn't want us driving. Sadly they were right - one day I ended up crashing the car right before I turned 18, completely my own fault. After that, obviously my parents refused to get another - if I went anywhere, it was my bike, the bus, or beg for a ride! I didn't drive again until I was 20, when I got my first car when I was working during college. I loved that car and kept it for 7 years.

But the funny thing is, nowadays I own two cars, and I love it! I feel the need to hoard cars, I guess from all my years of deprivation! I always want to own at least two cars, so I will never be without one, and never be dependant on others ever again. Love my wheels!!

 

[What the Heck]

My 16 year old daughter is so spoiled I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm the one who raised her this way so I'm the one who has to undo the damage. She is used to getting almost everything she wants. Ipod, cell phone, designer clothes you name it. Well, we just bought a new car and she assumes it should be hers. She is having a major fit about it. Our older daughter got a new car when she turned 17 but she also had a job to make payments on it. What 16 year old thinks she should have a brand new $18,000 car and her parents should drive a not new car? We had originally bought a used vehicle ( which was going to be hers, she had a cow cuz it was used.)and brought it back to the dealer and replaced it with new because it smelled like cigarete smoke. (So I can see where she got the idea) I am so tired of going around and around with her! Any advice?

First of all, I would say no to even using the new car, for any reason whatsoever. Then, since she doesn't want the used car, I would sell it. Perhaps even have her place the ad.

Then, if she still wants to through fits, she would have the choice of throwing the fit in her room (with the understanding that if she breaks anything it will not be replaced - my kids had that rule growing up) or she can throw a fit outside of her room but losing a major item each and every time she does.

I like the soup kitchen idea too. That is a very humbling experience. When I did that, I was hungry before I got there, but once I saw how hungry and needy the others were, my hunger left me. It still makes me grateful for what I do have (what God has given me) to see others in that condition.

 

[kdibattista]

My advice...

Don't give her any car and have her go and volunteer at a homeless shelter or children's hospital to make her see what's really important.

 

[dejr_8]

I think everyone else is missing the point. This issue is not about the car. It is about the fact that YOU have raised a brat. It took 16 years to get to this point and making the "car" the issue is not going to change her behavior overnight.

Let's see you said "She is used to getting almost everything she wants. Ipod, cell phone, designer clothes you name it."

Did you ever think you needed to make her "earn" some of this stuff? Was she a brat when she wanted this stuff or did she only become a brat when the asking price became $18,000???

If you focus only on the car, she will hate you. Good luck.


Stepping onto my soapbox
Too many parents provide no discipline, no guidance or no boundaries to young children (under 6 or so) and then wonder why the kids can't behave as they get older. Is it really that hard to understand why???