Sooooo.... how old is a grown up?

[redrosesix]

I've been thinking about this since my DD asked me this question. It seems to me that the age at which you consider a person to be an adult depends a lot on where you live (which country, rural or urban area) and the ages that different permissions are granted eg. when you get your driver's license.

It always seemed odd to me that the drinking age in Nova Scotia was 19, the voting age is 18 and the age at which you can join the military is 17. What does that mean? That you can go to war and shoot people before you can be trusted with a beer?

I also think the answer to this question has changed a lot over time. My grandmother was married at 16, but there is no way that I would consider any 16 yo that I know to be responsible enough to make that decision. What has changed in society?

So, what are your views on this notion and how do you arrive at that decision?

 

[EthansMom]

If one of my kids asked me this, I'd say, "You're a grown up when you pay your own bills."

 

[JEmaryland]

I personally feel that you are an adult at 18. However, it seems that over the years society has been delaying adulthood more and more.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, legally, except for drinking it seems, it's 18. Drinking is 21.
Maturity-wise...well, let's just say thats oem people are never adults!

Realistically, when you have the wherewithal to be self-supporting, I'd consider you an adult.

 

[AKL_Megs]

If one of my kids asked me this, I'd say, "You're a grown up when you pay your own bills."

I AGREE! But I will add, "You are a grown up when you pay ALL your own bills."

 

[Handbag Lady]

I think it was much more acceptable to be married at 16 back in the day because kids often took on more responsibilites than kids to day take on. Back then, older kids did laundry and marketing and cleaned and was able to do more grown-up things on their own.

Today? Well, we don't even let our kids play on their own, so of course the age of "grown-up" is delayed and it getting delayed more and more each year.

I think the age of grown up now is 21. I know people are adults at 18, but very few 18-year olds I know are even out on their own.

And to the OP, I think it is horrible that our people can go to war at age 18 and can't drink a beer until aged 21. What is WRONG with us?

 

[sbell111]

At 18, you can vote, marry, enter into a binding contract, and serve your country.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Self-supporting would be my answer.

 

[redrosesix]

One more thing to add: when I made up my will, it stated that my DD could not inherit my money until she was 25 (until then it would be administered by a guardian). Apparently, the same age was chosen for Princes William and Harry to inherit Princess Diana's estate.

Does that mean I don't expect my DD to be responsible enough to manage her money until that age? Not really, but I am expecting her to learn to survive on her own before she inherits my estate -- otherwise, no amount of money will be enough for her to live on. Hopefully, she'll be a lot older than that when I die.

Also, where the US drinking age is 21, does that mean people who are underage can't attend certain events or go to night clubs. Here, the drinking age is 19 and there are many places they can't get into until that age whether they want to consume alcohol or not.

 

[Serena]

How about when they stop stomping their feet and whining about how grown up they are?

ok, j/k, but I have had that conversation before with my oldest. I may have been exaggerating on the stomping of the feet however.

 

[redrosesix]

I think it was much more acceptable to be married at 16 back in the day because kids often took on more responsibilites than kids to day take on. Back then, older kids did laundry and marketing and cleaned and was able to do more grown-up things on their own.

Today? Well, we don't even let our kids play on their own, so of course the age of "grown-up" is delayed and it getting delayed more and more each year.

I think the age of grown up now is 21. I know people are adults at 18, but very few 18-year olds I know are even out on their own.

And to the OP, I think it is horrible that our people can go to war at age 18 and can't drink a beer until aged 21. What is WRONG with us?

My grandmother grew up in a rural area and at that time the local school only went up to grade 8. She had been living away from home for 2 years working before she got married. Seems crazy to me now.

I still find that kids growing up in rural areas here have a better plan for their lives after graduating high school -- they know exactly what they want to study and have a good idea of where they want to work and live, as opposed to the urban kids who are still "finding themselves" for the first couple of years after high school.

 

[paintnolish]

So, you can drive at 16, vote/go to war at 18 (but not drink), drink at 21...but you can't rent a car until 25, right? What gives?!?
We were discussing what it means to be an "adult" in my adolescent psych class the other day. Adolescence even covers a broader time span now, with a period called "emerging adulthood" going into the 20s!

 

[antmaril]

I AGREE! But I will add, "You are a grown up when you pay ALL your own bills."

I agree with this.

 

[redrosesix]

So, you can drive at 16, vote/go to war at 18 (but not drink), drink at 21...but you can't rent a car until 25, right? What gives?!?
We were discussing what it means to be an "adult" in my adolescent psych class the other day. Adolescence even covers a broader time span now, with a period called "emerging adulthood" going into the 20s!

Good point -- when I researched this question, I found out that raising the drinking age in the US to 21 was mainly done to cut down on the number of DUI fatalities, but research since that time has shown that teens weren't at the most risk, it was those in their early 20s. Thus the rule against renting a car until you're 25.

So, did your adolescent psych class give you any insight as to why adulthood is being delayed? I'd be interested to know. And how can we get some kids to grow up quicker -- I'm sure some parents might need this info right now.

 

[paintnolish]

In the US, it has to do with college and/or taking some time off before attending. Basically, emerging adulthood is a luxury afforded mostly to the middle classes on up. That doesn't mean that people of all economic statuses can't have those kids who won't grow up and get out, though!

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

On the disboards, some people never seem to grow up.

IRL, I was independent at 19-paid my own bills, faced the consequences of my own choices.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I agree with other posters that it seems someone becomes an 'adult' when they support themselves.