Sometimes ya win and sometimes ya lose

[Mom2Nick]

And apparently that cannot happen when one keeps score?

Well it's not going to happen when people get pissy because they're NOT keeping score and their children are therefor not enrolled.

 

[freckles and boo]

And apparently that cannot happen when one keeps score?

That depends on how much value one puts on winning. Some parents care WAY too much about it and it puts unnecessary pressure on very young kids. To be honest, that is why I have encouraged my kids to pursue the arts instead of sports. After watching my niece participate in youth sports (soccer, softball, volleyball, and basketball) over a period of a dozen years or so, I was permanently turned off. Perhaps things have changed but I was just embarrassed and disgusted by the behavior of many of the parents, including my sister-in-law. It wasn't enough to cheer on the kids. They had to jeer the officials (often high school kids) and mock the other kids. Nasty.

 

[NowaSki]

Sorry but to me scoring is the whole point of playing sports. She watched the Olympics and knows not everyone got a medal. If she is old enough to understand that, then she is old enough to understand that not everyone gets a trophy and not everyone wins the game.

I've coached my kid's soccer teams from U5 thru U9. And I've seen those kids where the coaches and parents yell at the kid to get the ball and put into the net. Those kids end up learning no skills. When U10 comes around and they have to play on the larger field and work with their teammates (passing and positioning) they are lost and then lose interest.

We don't keep scores or standings until U10 when Travel soccer starts. That doesn't mean the kids don't keep score during the game. During the winter months there are several weekend indoor tournament where scores and standings are kept and kids get trophies for 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place and that starts at U7. There are also holiday weekend tournaments Columbus Day, Memorial Day, Fathers Day.

I've seen kids who started out at U5, and looked like they had no interest or talent, and then end up on the "A" team at U10 with some great skills. If the pressure was on these kids at U5 to score goals and win games they would have lost interest right away and perhaps never played any sport.

Yes, I agree there are some life lessons that can be learned from sports but at the early ages it should not be all about winning or losing. It's a game and games are suppose to be fun for kids.

 

[Sandy V.]

Well, in looking at his prior posts, if his potentially soccer-playing D is the one in school (he also mentions a toddler), then she is at most 6. She was 5 in October when he asked a question about whether "Wicked" was an appropriate show for her to see.

In any event, if the 5-6 year old is the one the OP is referring to, then I agree with the majority - if, as a parent, you're going to cut off your D's nose to spite YOUR face and deny her the opportunity to play because you don't agree with the league's no-keeping-score policy, then this is the first of a lot of events she'll sit out because Dad can't call the shots and set the policy.

I won't repeat the good points many have already made. But I will say that as the mother of a 21-year-old and an 18-year-old and having gone through just about every kind of sport for the past 17 years with said children, I can tell you that 5 and 6 year olds KNOW if they've won or lost, regardless of league policy - and most of the time they don't care. They are most interested in the SNACK after the game!!! They'll grow up quickly enough and excel at what interests THEM without a pushy parent's winning-is-the-only-thing mentality.

 

[okeydokey]

Keeping score is great for the older kids. When just learning, however, I would much rather have them focus on the fundamentals of the game and learn technique and teamwork instead of being obsessed with scoring. To me, that is what is important about sports.

 

[Tumblwd501]

Well, in looking at his prior posts, if his potentially soccer-playing D is the one in school (he also mentions a toddler), then she is at most 6. She was 5 in October when he asked a question about whether "Wicked" was an appropriate show for her to see.

In any event, if the 5-6 year old is the one the OP is referring to, then I agree with the majority - if, as a parent, you're going to cut off your D's nose to spite YOUR face and deny her the opportunity to play because you don't agree with the league's no-keeping-score policy, then this is the first of a lot of events she'll sit out because Dad can't call the shots and set the policy.

I won't repeat the good points many have already made. But I will say that as the mother of a 21-year-old and an 18-year-old and having gone through just about every kind of sport for the past 17 years with said children, I can tell you that 5 and 6 year olds KNOW if they've won or lost, regardless of league policy - and most of the time they don't care. They are most interested in the SNACK after the game!!! They'll grow up quickly enough and excel at what interests THEM without a pushy parent's winning-is-the-only-thing mentality.

Wow, that's a bit stalker-ish.. going back to find previous posts to find out the age of the OP's daughter!??! (hehe I'm kidding!! sort of.. lol )

And I would respectfully disagree with the notion that at age 5 or 6 kids don't care about the score. After all our games at that age group (including the 4 year old levels), one of the first questions would always be, "Did we win?" or "What was the score?" Of course, this usually came while waiting in line for that after game snack. lol And since our leagues are now non-competitive, it was kinda hard for me to diffuse those questions. hehe

To the OP, if your DD really wants to participate in the soccer league, but you don't like the non-competitive nature of the organization, I would suggest letting her play anyway and then also take the opportunity to impart the values of winning and losing to her yourself as opportunities arise throughout the season. Just don't do it during the middle of a game. lol

 

[3jsmommy]

I've seen 6 year olds play soccer, one played dead the whole time, another attempted cartwheels for half the game.
Seriously who cares what the score is, your lucky if they get the basics!
Do you suggest they only hand out trophy's to the best little kids?
Maybe you could volunteer to give all the wee "losers" your "sometimes ya lose" speech on the bus ride home. Let us know how that goes!

 

[Sandy V.]

Wow, that's a bit stalker-ish.. going back to find previous posts to find out the age of the OP's daughter!??! (hehe I'm kidding!! sort of.. lol )

And I would respectfully disagree with the notion that at age 5 or 6 kids don't care about the score. After all our games at that age group (including the 4 year old levels), one of the first questions would always be, "Did we win?" or "What was the score?" Of course, this usually came while waiting in line for that after game snack. lol And since our leagues are now non-competitive, it was kinda hard for me to diffuse those questions. hehe

To the OP, if your DD really wants to participate in the soccer league, but you don't like the non-competitive nature of the organization, I would suggest letting her play anyway and then also take the opportunity to impart the values of winning and losing to her yourself as opportunities arise throughout the season. Just don't do it during the middle of a game. lol

OP was asked 3 times for his child's age to aid in giving a response. He never responded. It's very easy to look at someone's prior posts - just left click on their name and select "find all posts by ____". It's a useful tool when someone posts inconsistencies or fails to respond to a legitimate question (like here). I suspect that the OP did not want to give out the information because he realized that it's pretty common for kids this young to have no-score leagues and games. He just doesn't like it - and that's his perogative.

And, please note that I said that MOST of the time they don't care about the score. Perhaps that was inaccurate - my kids have been playing sports since 4 and when they first started, the score was the least of their worries. I acknowledge that sometimes they would care, but it was mainly as they got older.

It's perfectly fine to want to instill a healthy desire for winning. But if you don't start at the ground level and LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE SPORT IN THE FIRST PLACE under the parameters the league sets, absent the ability to cart your kid elsewhere to a more "competitive" league (if one exists!), then the child will still be on the sidelines in life if Dad doesn't loosen up a bit. Just my opinion.

 

[debster812]

I've coached my kid's soccer teams from U5 thru U9. And I've seen those kids where the coaches and parents yell at the kid to get the ball and put into the net. Those kids end up learning no skills. When U10 comes around and they have to play on the larger field and work with their teammates (passing and positioning) they are lost and then lose interest.

We don't keep scores or standings until U10 when Travel soccer starts. That doesn't mean the kids don't keep score during the game. During the winter months there are several weekend indoor tournament where scores and standings are kept and kids get trophies for 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place and that starts at U7. There are also holiday weekend tournaments Columbus Day, Memorial Day, Fathers Day.

I've seen kids who started out at U5, and looked like they had no interest or talent, and then end up on the "A" team at U10 with some great skills. If the pressure was on these kids at U5 to score goals and win games they would have lost interest right away and perhaps never played any sport.

Yes, I agree there are some life lessons that can be learned from sports but at the early ages it should not be all about winning or losing. It's a game and games are suppose to be fun for kids.

ditto Ditto DITTO.

I'm the mom of an 11yo U12 competitive soccer player. When he was U5 and U6 he was the kid running AWAY from the ball. He now plays midfield, defender, and he's the #2 Keeper in his age group, in our little town. If he had been pushed into an uber-competitive league at that age, I doubt he'd be playing now.

OP--if it's that important to you that your daughter be playing competitive soccer at such a young age, I'm sure there are private clubs in your area that would be happy to take your money (and lots of it) and give her that experience.

 

[sunnyday123]

Our soccer league does not start keeping score until U-10. I agree that it is very frustrating when the kids know the score, but the score is technically not kept.

And the kids always keep score. I think it's fine to keep score, as long as learning about the game and getting them to take something away from the loss is stressed. I hate seeing kids set up to think they will always win at everything. Some of the best lessons are learned from our mistakes.

 

[sahd2one]

And the kids always keep score. I think it's fine to keep score, as long as learning about the game and getting them to take something away from the loss is stressed. I hate seeing kids set up to think they will always win at everything. Some of the best lessons are learned from our mistakes.

And I think so too. If it is non-competitive, there is really no point to playing a team sport. I think it is wrong where everyone gets a trophy or that no one bothers to keep score. If I can find a competitive league then that is where she will play otherwise she will be fine.

It is bad enough that the public schools here do not do letter grades until 2nd grade. It just goes more to the wussification of America.

 

[AndyLL]

So how come you won't tell us how old your DD is?

Probably because it's just a trolling post.

Anyone who has played sports seriously knows that sports are more then just keeping score.

Sports are about team, discipline, teaching, athleticism (fittness & exercise), and respect for the game, coaches and participates.

Until kids learn those skills they should not be keeping score.

 

[debster812]

It is bad enough that the public schools here do not do letter grades until 2nd grade. It just goes more to the wussification of America.

In your opinion. There is still a very large swing of abilities between 2nd graders (2nd grade is usually the year they all start to level out).

I certainly don't think that 'everyone needs to win' or 'everyone needs a trophy' or even 'everyone did GREAT' needs to happen, but what in the world is accomplished by giving a 2nd grader a "D" when they are still acquiring the skills they need to succeed?

 

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

DW wants to put DD on a soccer league this spring. I found out they do not keep score. I said no thanks, but not interested. It is like those "sports" where everyone gets a trophy.

Yuck!

How old is DD? If it to teach them the sport then that is fine. I know our town starts them this way for a year. They use it to teach them. But the next year they keep score

 

[Nik's Mom]

My son participates in Special Olympics. They do keep score, but everyone is cheered and congratulated as a winner. It's nice, but of course it is a totally different situation.

When I was young, I participated in competitive sports. I did learn how to lose gracefully. I think it is an important lesson to learn. We can't always win in life.

 

[wall*e2008]

I've seen 6 year olds play soccer, one played dead the whole time, another attempted cartwheels for half the game.

I saw my nephew and his friend sit down on the field and pull blades of grass. Another kid was spinning and the rest were in a clump around the ball.

 

[sahd2one]

When I was young, I participated in competitive sports. I did learn how to lose gracefully. I think it is an important lesson to learn. We can't always win in life.

Congrats on your son competing in SO. What is his sport?

I totally agree. I learned how to play the game and that there were winners and losers and I can remember playing T-ball and soccer at about five.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Congrats on your son competing in SO. What is his sport?

I totally agree. I learned how to play the game and that there were winners and losers and I can remember playing T-ball and soccer at about five.

Thanks. My ds played soccer for the first time in the Fall. He is playing basketball in January, then swimming in March.

 

[Becky2005]

I see non score keeping the same way I see gymnastics class. When you first start gymnastics you have a class. As you progress and if you are able, you move to team. Once on team, you compete, get a score, and maybe win.

I started my boys in non competitive soccer when they were five. If they had enjoyed it, I would have put them in a competitive league. They didn't so they tried other sports until they found their niche. One son does competitive gymnastics and the other does ballet.

I was thinking the exact same thing!!!! My DD is a gymnast! Good golly when she first started, she was learning technique -- how to do a cartwheel, walk across the balance beam, etc... There were no judges out there scoring her! They don't start doing that until Level 4 here, which is team. Then she started getting scores.

My one son LOVES to play basketball. He's not very good at it but he enjoys it. When he first started, he didn't even know the different positions and what the job was of each player. He was on a team that learned a new technique each week and then would play against the other players basically focusing on the new technique. They didn't keep score.

There IS a feeder team for the HS team if you want to go that route here but there are try-outs and you best be really good because I think they only take maybe 10-15 kids if I recall correctly & it's about $400 for the league. No thanks, I really don't think my kid is ready for that type of pressure. The feeder team starts in 4th grade.

 

[sahd2one]

I just have to ask all of those with kids who play non-competitive, non-scoring sports, do any of ya'll have any Wii Games?

Heck someone "loses" in boxing! Bowling, Golf, Baseball and Tennis where the losing player(s) practically sulk!

Or do you keep your kids from playing those as well?

The concept of winning and losing is JUST as important as how to play the game. Even at age 5-6!