Something to be concerned about? Update....
- Thread starter KAMKIM
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beattyfamily
DIS Cast Member
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ah, OP, I've been in your shoes. 
Your DD sounds a whole lot like my DD age 10. It was a long journey to figure out what was up. I even posted here a couple of times getting advice etc...
The best thing I ever did (but it took me till last year to do it) was finally get my DD a neuropsychological evaluation. It is covered by insurance. It took half a day. It answered so many questions.
My DD has sensory issues, is a picky eater, doesn't have friends (no social skills), very smart yet naive, disorganized, has frequent meltdowns, is clumsy, always seemed to be daydreaming or in her own little world, lost many many sippy cups as a toddler and I've lost her in stores many times because of the 'daydreaming'. She'd go upstairs to get something and get distracted and forget why she went upstairs, talks about facts that bore you to tears. Can't read facial cues. Etc...
She's had evals at school but they were for the sensory issues and academic issues. At first we though it was just sensory and immaturity and anxiety. Well, the neuropsychological evaluation finally helped answer all the important questions.
Basically, my DD was a 'complicated' little girl who didn't fit into any category neatly. Technically, he diagnosed her with a emotional disorder with anxiety but I'm suppose to say she has a Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS). Whew! Try to explain that one to people. So I pow-powed with her counselor and the neuropsychologist and we decided to say she has Aperger 'tendencies' because she has many of the characteristics but not all of them. Again, she doesn't fit into any category perfectly. Many kids are like that.
The school has been very supportive. She's been on an IEP for a few years now (special accomodations, OT therapy) but just this year she started in a special program called ACES where she has therapy and support and they can handle her meltdowns and other issues. They have play therapy, art therapy, life skills, OT, speech and counselors on hand. They handle academics but she goes to her regular classroom for all the 'specials' like gym, library, art, music, computer, lunch and recess. As she gets better coping skills, she can do more academics with her regular classroom and that is the ultimate goal.
But it was a long road to get to this point in figuring out what was wrong and how to handle it. Good luck and follow your instincts and do whatever you can for your DD via therapy and through the school.
I just wanted to share my story with you to try and help you out.
Your DD sounds a whole lot like my DD age 10. It was a long journey to figure out what was up. I even posted here a couple of times getting advice etc...
The best thing I ever did (but it took me till last year to do it) was finally get my DD a neuropsychological evaluation. It is covered by insurance. It took half a day. It answered so many questions.
My DD has sensory issues, is a picky eater, doesn't have friends (no social skills), very smart yet naive, disorganized, has frequent meltdowns, is clumsy, always seemed to be daydreaming or in her own little world, lost many many sippy cups as a toddler and I've lost her in stores many times because of the 'daydreaming'. She'd go upstairs to get something and get distracted and forget why she went upstairs, talks about facts that bore you to tears. Can't read facial cues. Etc...
She's had evals at school but they were for the sensory issues and academic issues. At first we though it was just sensory and immaturity and anxiety. Well, the neuropsychological evaluation finally helped answer all the important questions.
Basically, my DD was a 'complicated' little girl who didn't fit into any category neatly. Technically, he diagnosed her with a emotional disorder with anxiety but I'm suppose to say she has a Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS). Whew! Try to explain that one to people. So I pow-powed with her counselor and the neuropsychologist and we decided to say she has Aperger 'tendencies' because she has many of the characteristics but not all of them. Again, she doesn't fit into any category perfectly. Many kids are like that.
The school has been very supportive. She's been on an IEP for a few years now (special accomodations, OT therapy) but just this year she started in a special program called ACES where she has therapy and support and they can handle her meltdowns and other issues. They have play therapy, art therapy, life skills, OT, speech and counselors on hand. They handle academics but she goes to her regular classroom for all the 'specials' like gym, library, art, music, computer, lunch and recess. As she gets better coping skills, she can do more academics with her regular classroom and that is the ultimate goal.
But it was a long road to get to this point in figuring out what was wrong and how to handle it. Good luck and follow your instincts and do whatever you can for your DD via therapy and through the school.
I just wanted to share my story with you to try and help you out.
zachnsamsmommy
Evil Diva
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2009
- Messages
- 638
I was going to suggest this! OP...reading your post, that is the first thing that came to my mind.
My son has SPD. He was diagnosed at a very early age, and has a super-sensitivity to water, noises like vacuum cleaners/leaf blowers, and has a palmer/plantar sensitivity.
I have read quite a bit on SPD (also called sensory integration disorder), and my son receives occupational therapy to try to 'desensitize' him to the overload of sensory input.
It wouldn't hurt to have her evaluated by a certified occupational therapist, but that is JMHO.
I would have a private evaluation done (with no mention of this to the school).. If there is something wrong, you can catch it early - if not, you can rest easy without always having to "wonder"..
Good luck..
I sit on our School Building Level Committee which meets to help kids who may need special accommodations. I have a few things for you to consider.
Private evaluations are good, but be aware that depending on where you live the school system is not obligated to accept that evaluation. Often times, the system will have to do its own evaluation. It can be a slow process to get the evaluation done through the school system. There are many changes going on to the process due to new federal laws. We are finding it very difficult to get any children through the process to the point of evaluation.
If I were in your shoes, I would get a referral from your dr. and get that private evaluation.
However, I would not leave the school out of the loop. Most drs. will want information from the teachers. I have personally spoken to drs. who wanted details from the teachers who interact with that child. As you stated, your DD may exhibit different things in different situations due to the setting. If you keep the school informed, it can also be helpful IF there is a diagnosis. Then, the school will be more prepared to act on something than if it comes out of the blue. If we get one out of the blue, we have to start that child at square one in the process since almost no private evaluations seem to be accepted.
Good luck! Trust your instincts. Your daughter is not a different person if there is a diagnosis. It just helps you, those who love her, and those who educate her to know what approaches may work best. Hang in there! Sometimes being a parent is difficult.
Every google checklist I've done points to Aspergers and maybe a mild form of inattentive ADHD. DH was ready to write me off with my google diagnosis so I just read the checklists to him....he got very quiet...I said is that your daughter or isn't it? He said "It's like they wrote the checklist for her" The only symptom she didn't clearly have was the inability to empathize with others (her knack for "caring" for animals and young children is amazing). So we've decided tomorrow we will call ped and get a referral.
I also am going to dig through her report cards, (yes I save them all) alot of the comments from the teachers kind of lead up to this, so I think it would be a good thing for the doctor to see as well. Like pretty much the break down I gave in my original post, is how each of her report cards were reported to me.
I wish I didn't take so long to look into this, especially when I've always felt that things were off...although reading about this I dont think catching it at 3 would have been helpful because at that time alot of her symptoms could have easily been mistaken for her age....
Well I seriously want to thank all of you for your suggestions, ideas, stories and of course support.
I will keep you updated!
I also am going to dig through her report cards, (yes I save them all) alot of the comments from the teachers kind of lead up to this, so I think it would be a good thing for the doctor to see as well. Like pretty much the break down I gave in my original post, is how each of her report cards were reported to me.
I wish I didn't take so long to look into this, especially when I've always felt that things were off...although reading about this I dont think catching it at 3 would have been helpful because at that time alot of her symptoms could have easily been mistaken for her age....
Well I seriously want to thank all of you for your suggestions, ideas, stories and of course support.
I will keep you updated!
Also I want to say that I have seen some threads end up going very very bad for the OP, but in cases like this I think the Disboards have helped me see what I've always known so thank you all for being sensitive and understanding that it was not easy for me to post that and say it out loud in a way. I was not looking for a dis diagnosis but figured I could not be the only one that has seen this, and it was a great way to get MANY opinions and thoughts in a few hours...Thank you, really, with all my heart.
I hope maybe there is something we can pinpoint to make her happier, well I dont even know if happier is the right word but able to make friends easier and pay attention in class. I think she uses her intelligence to compensate for whatever may be wrong....not that anything is obviously we dont know yet...but ykim.
Either way she'll always be my chickie.
I hope maybe there is something we can pinpoint to make her happier, well I dont even know if happier is the right word but able to make friends easier and pay attention in class. I think she uses her intelligence to compensate for whatever may be wrong....not that anything is obviously we dont know yet...but ykim.
Either way she'll always be my chickie.
/
beattyfamily
DIS Cast Member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2000
- Messages
- 23,572
My DD also has empathy and thus doesn't officially or technically fall into the Asperger syndrome category but she's got everything else.
It's amazing how much your DD sounds like mine.
Good Luck!
I went thru this exact same torment a few years ago. I knew something was not right with my daughter. After much digging, I realized that she probably had Sensory Integration/ Processing Disorder, but wasn't exactly sure.
She has a lot of the same symptoms you say your DD has.
I asked for help on the DIS- they told me to look at a book store for a book called "The Out Of Sync Child". I went the next day to Barnes and Noble, found the book and sat on the floor, right there in the store and cried.
It was totally her. And although I had known there was something "Off", I never knew how to express what it was. The Dr's always said she was fine- healthy even.
But as a Mom, I had a nagging suspicion. For parents with children such as this, you will always have that day, that moment in time, where life's reality hits you like a ton of bricks. That was my moment. I was crushed.
A bunch of kind DIS'ers wrote to me, when I came back on here, devastated with the realization of what my baby was facing- and told me what i am getting ready to tell you.
You are a great Mom. You are her champion, the guardian of her soul. She is still the same precious child that you've lost sleep over, rocked to sleep as a baby, and tucked into bed last night- kissing the top of her head. She has not changed.
Just because you may or may not be getting ready to face this challenge doesn't change that fact. Love her. Don't stop.
And when you feel very low and are beating yourself up-- b/c there will be those days of frustration-- pull yourself up by the bootstraps, put on your superhero Mom suit and meet the challenge head on.
You are her Mom. HER MOM. You will be her voice, her hero. You are blessed to have her in your life, much the same as she is blessed beyond measure to have you in hers. Cherish her, and all her uniqueness.
You are a strong, loving woman who can do this. You will do this. For her sake and for yours.
Don't give up. She needs you to do this for her and to be strong.
My thoughts are with you and your little girl. I hope you find the answers and help that you seek.
Jo
She has a lot of the same symptoms you say your DD has.
I asked for help on the DIS- they told me to look at a book store for a book called "The Out Of Sync Child". I went the next day to Barnes and Noble, found the book and sat on the floor, right there in the store and cried.
It was totally her. And although I had known there was something "Off", I never knew how to express what it was. The Dr's always said she was fine- healthy even.
But as a Mom, I had a nagging suspicion. For parents with children such as this, you will always have that day, that moment in time, where life's reality hits you like a ton of bricks. That was my moment. I was crushed.
A bunch of kind DIS'ers wrote to me, when I came back on here, devastated with the realization of what my baby was facing- and told me what i am getting ready to tell you.
You are a great Mom. You are her champion, the guardian of her soul. She is still the same precious child that you've lost sleep over, rocked to sleep as a baby, and tucked into bed last night- kissing the top of her head. She has not changed.
Just because you may or may not be getting ready to face this challenge doesn't change that fact. Love her. Don't stop.
And when you feel very low and are beating yourself up-- b/c there will be those days of frustration-- pull yourself up by the bootstraps, put on your superhero Mom suit and meet the challenge head on.
You are her Mom. HER MOM. You will be her voice, her hero. You are blessed to have her in your life, much the same as she is blessed beyond measure to have you in hers. Cherish her, and all her uniqueness.
You are a strong, loving woman who can do this. You will do this. For her sake and for yours.
Don't give up. She needs you to do this for her and to be strong.
My thoughts are with you and your little girl. I hope you find the answers and help that you seek.
Jo
Luv Bunnies
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2006
- Messages
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Here's something that's really important to remember when you're seeking a diagnosis for your child. She's still your child. She's the same beautiful, bright, intelligent child you've always known. Getting a diagnosis doesn't change who she is and how you will feel about her. It's nothing to be afraid of. Some people avoid an evaluation because they are afraid of what they will find out. But avoiding it doesn't change the truth. The child is still who she is. Finding out if there is an issue and what it is can only help. You will know exactly what you're dealing with and how to best help her.
My 14 year old has Asperger's and we first had him evaluated when he was 3. I am now working in the special ed preschool program that he attended. I have a lot of chats with our new parents who are still in shock about their kids being placed in special ed. I tell them that their child hasn't changed because of a diagnosis. Every wonderful thing they've always known about their child is still true! And now we can give them as much help as they need to be successful and happy!
My 14 year old has Asperger's and we first had him evaluated when he was 3. I am now working in the special ed preschool program that he attended. I have a lot of chats with our new parents who are still in shock about their kids being placed in special ed. I tell them that their child hasn't changed because of a diagnosis. Every wonderful thing they've always known about their child is still true! And now we can give them as much help as they need to be successful and happy!
lucyanna girl
<font color=blue>My hair looks like Tigger spit ou
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- Jan 16, 2005
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- 3,202
I can only offer this, listen to your heart. She is your child and you know her better than anyone else.
It sounds to me like you are a very good mother and love your baby very much. Keep looking until you are satisfied you have the answers you need.
Penny
It sounds to me like you are a very good mother and love your baby very much. Keep looking until you are satisfied you have the answers you need.
Penny
Just a little update, I called the pediatrician today and spoke with one of the nurses. She had me fax over the list I made about DD and she said one of the pediatricians there is very up to date about this sort of stuff so she would make sure he was the one that got my list. He is supposed to review it tomorrow morning and call me back.
She said DD will most likely be referred for a psycological evaluation. I will udpate once I find out what they are going to have us do.
The nurse said she is leaning more towards inattentive ADHD and Aspergers and said the experts would probably look in the same direction.
She said DD will most likely be referred for a psycological evaluation. I will udpate once I find out what they are going to have us do.
The nurse said she is leaning more towards inattentive ADHD and Aspergers and said the experts would probably look in the same direction.
Our pediatrician finally referred us to a pysch center in our area. They warned me the wait would be LONG.
So I called the pysch center and the woman asked if we preferred a man or a woman doctor. I said - who ever can get us in sooner!
DH and I go Friday for our first consult. I have to take her report card, and probably the list I made for the doc.
The day I made the appointment I cried, then I went upstairs to just stare at her sleeping for a little bit. I thought about the days when everyone was so impressed on how quickly she picked up on things, and all of the teacher conferences where they said she was a model student, my proud moments where I thought "thats my girl!" Then I thought about how maybe her future wont be quite what I imagined for her, and how hard it is for her to make friends and how lonely she feels. I cried some more and then I repeated the words to myself that JoBird mentioned here, I am HER mom, I can do this, I will do this - for her. I am now thinking with a clear and open mind.
For those of you that have dealt with this was there an age that you told your kids their diagnoses? I know DD knows something is different - but I dont know that I want her to label herself. On the other hand, maybe this will help her realize there is nothing wrong with her - which sometimes now she does feel.
Any thoughts?
So I called the pysch center and the woman asked if we preferred a man or a woman doctor. I said - who ever can get us in sooner!
DH and I go Friday for our first consult. I have to take her report card, and probably the list I made for the doc.
The day I made the appointment I cried, then I went upstairs to just stare at her sleeping for a little bit. I thought about the days when everyone was so impressed on how quickly she picked up on things, and all of the teacher conferences where they said she was a model student, my proud moments where I thought "thats my girl!" Then I thought about how maybe her future wont be quite what I imagined for her, and how hard it is for her to make friends and how lonely she feels. I cried some more and then I repeated the words to myself that JoBird mentioned here, I am HER mom, I can do this, I will do this - for her. I am now thinking with a clear and open mind.
For those of you that have dealt with this was there an age that you told your kids their diagnoses? I know DD knows something is different - but I dont know that I want her to label herself. On the other hand, maybe this will help her realize there is nothing wrong with her - which sometimes now she does feel.
Any thoughts?
Ember
<font color=blue>I've also crazy glued myself to m
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2005
- Messages
- 3,466
I went thru this exact same torment a few years ago. I knew something was not right with my daughter. After much digging, I realized that she probably had Sensory Integration/ Processing Disorder, but wasn't exactly sure.
She has a lot of the same symptoms you say your DD has.
I asked for help on the DIS- they told me to look at a book store for a book called "The Out Of Sync Child". I went the next day to Barnes and Noble, found the book and sat on the floor, right there in the store and cried.
It was totally her. And although I had known there was something "Off", I never knew how to express what it was. The Dr's always said she was fine- healthy even.
But as a Mom, I had a nagging suspicion. For parents with children such as this, you will always have that day, that moment in time, where life's reality hits you like a ton of bricks. That was my moment. I was crushed.
A bunch of kind DIS'ers wrote to me, when I came back on here, devastated with the realization of what my baby was facing- and told me what i am getting ready to tell you.
You are a great Mom. You are her champion, the guardian of her soul. She is still the same precious child that you've lost sleep over, rocked to sleep as a baby, and tucked into bed last night- kissing the top of her head. She has not changed.
Just because you may or may not be getting ready to face this challenge doesn't change that fact. Love her. Don't stop.
And when you feel very low and are beating yourself up-- b/c there will be those days of frustration-- pull yourself up by the bootstraps, put on your superhero Mom suit and meet the challenge head on.
You are her Mom. HER MOM. You will be her voice, her hero. You are blessed to have her in your life, much the same as she is blessed beyond measure to have you in hers. Cherish her, and all her uniqueness.
You are a strong, loving woman who can do this. You will do this. For her sake and for yours.
Don't give up. She needs you to do this for her and to be strong.
My thoughts are with you and your little girl. I hope you find the answers and help that you seek.
Jo
Oh, wow. I am at my computer crying as this wasn't even directed at me. I'm don't even have kids! Those are some powerful words. If you don't mind, I'm going to print this to keep when talking to parents about the challenges their children are facing when it comes to issues like this.
No experience with your specific situation, but just wanted to tell you that you're doing a great job - all that you can at this point - and that in turn makes you a great mom.. Your DD is very lucky to have you in her corner..
beattyfamily
DIS Cast Member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2000
- Messages
- 23,572
Good luck. My DD is 10 and just this summer we gave her a name for what she calls "independent" and "sensitive". We wanted her to be empowered. She took it well. It didn't really phase her at all.
Please keep us posted. Take care.
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