Soliciting funds for "learning experience" trips

[Darcy03231]

I am helping to send my cousin's kid (17) to Paris and Spain this summer. She is an amazing artist and it is an art program through her private high school.

Her parents are paying half and she is coming up a little short on her half.

I am giving her about $300 for the trip and then a couple hundred more for spending money.

I toured Europe a lot in high school and college (I paid), and those experiences were amazing - so I want others to have the same opportunity.

But did she send out letters to family members soliciting funds or did you somehow find out and volunteer to give her the rest? That would make a difference for me. It's one thing to help out voluntarily if you want her to go, but I wouldn't like being asked flat out to help fund the trip.

I know my sister's financial situation isn't great so if one (or both) of my nieces came up a little short in funding their trips I would make sure they had the rest of the money. Knowing them it would come in the form of asking me if I had any work for them do to earn money for the trip as they were short. They wouldn't just ask for it.

 

[lady9]

It irks me that these volunteers are always asking for funds to go oversees. Do they not see a need right here in our own country? Parts of New York still need to be rebuilt from the flood over a year ago. There are people in Appalachian without clean drinking water and needs wells dug. I'm all for helping anyone anywhere if you can, but if you can't afford a $6000 trip without begging for the money, find an organization to help you "learn and volunteer" in your backyard.

 

[MomToOne]

oh my. What did you do? I would kind of feel like I HAD to donate. Of course you could bring it up in your review..."I would of loved to help but, well, you know what I make... "

I didn't donate. I refused to bow to the pressure of it just because she was my boss. My boss and I don't have a bad relationship, but it is quite distant. Let's just say I'm not as meek as she thinks women should be. So she wasn't surprised by my response. Unfortunately, though, I think many of my teammates felt pressured to give.

 

[disykat]

My kids have each been on several mission trips with their church youth group. There's no way I would have asked anyone for money. Rummage sales, leaf raking, chopping wood, etc. is how they made the money.

My son is marching with a drum corp this summer. Again, no way would I let him beg for money. (Happily I can say it never occurred to him to do so!) He's wanted to do this for several years, but needed to have a couple summers of work under his belt before he could afford his part of the financial commitment.

Other things they've wanted to do, we've simply said no for lack of funds.

My dad has gone on a bunch of medical mission trips, and they all involved paying at least your own airfare. If it wasn't in the budget that year, he didn't go.

I have absolutely no problem "denying" my kids when we can't afford something.

I have on occasion supported missionaries who have to raise their own support in the past. However I did so to support the mission, not to provide the missionary with a learning experience.

 

[Pigeon]

I don't do fund raisers for anybody's kid, my own included.

 

[Woth2982]

In High School I had to pay for my senior graduation trip with my friends, and every ski trip I went on with my school. I currently run road races with the Alzheimer's Association and frequently ask for donations, but I pay for all my travel expenses and the money goes directly to the AA. My cousins have written a couple checks out to me personally, I just cash them and then go on the site to process the donation on their behalf so they get the tax incentives. My parents have always instilled in me, if I want something I have to save and work hard for it. Definitely makes you appreciate things more that way.

 

[richmond282]

A part of me would want to mail her the classified section of the newspaper with some help wanted ads circled

Seriously, I'd just wad the thing up and throw it away. That's what I normally do with carp like that.

 

[cm8]

A part of me would want to mail her the classified section of the newspaper with some help wanted ads circled

 

[wallawallakids]

My husband's cousin did this exact same thing....THREE times! I felt guilty every time but we did not give her any money. She is older, has a supportive family, and had a job working as an RN right after school. I recognize that what she was doing was important, but so isn't putting food on the table for our 4 kids. Maybe if we had more "free" money lying around I would have considered, but bottom line, we didn't and the constant notes asking for money were kind of offensive and annoying. I should also say we aren't exactly close. We see each other once every 7 years or so at reunions. They live in rural Oregon, and we live in Maine.

 

[sk!mom]

In the past year I've gotten requests from 3 different adult friends who were going on Mission trips. I have to say that most of these trips seem more like "extreme vacations" than true mission trips.

Two of these people are coworkers and one of them makes more than I do.

I wouldn't send the letters and do not contribute. I'm not a big fan of fundraisers for Trips and don't participate in those either. The letters just take it one step further. I contribute to causes, charities, and such not to people's vacations.

 

[TheShea's]

If your friends or family are sending out broadcast letters/emails soliciting funds for a trip I'd ignore it or put the request in the trash. If someone is asking for something as personal as my hard earned cash then they should show some respect and come to me directly and make the request personally. Send it out as a form letter and I'll treat you as I do other solicitors...right into the circular file.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm with the majority here: I'd be glad to hire her to wash my windows or do yard work -- things I genuinely need done -- but I would not pay any portion of her trip. If she can't do it without my help, she can't do it.

 

[livndisney]

I can't IMAGINE allowing my child to do this. And honestly I would love to sit and question those who do. Are they in their right minds? Do they realize that kids/adults/people should only be taking vacations if they can afford to do so? OR, alternatively, they could learn a REAL lesson by earning their own money to go on the trip themselves. Most of these types of things, I think are usually at least 9 months before the trip. Let's take the OP's example:

$6,000
9 months = 36 weeks
= $166 per week

It's a lot but I'm guessing by picking up some breakfast or lunch shifts at a local restaurant it would do the trick.

I'm also a bit of a jerk about the sports team fundraisers. Would HAPPILY help out if they want me to pay them to rake and week my yard. But am annoyed when they want me to pay $10 for a 'lottery' ticket that will inevitably just be a contribution. AND that the kids did absolutely ZERO work to organize. They are learning nothing. IMO, if you want your kid to play on that team - you should be paying the bill. ONE EXCEPTION would be when the families truly can't afford it - but I am always asked by people who are making as much if not more than we are - they can afford it, just don't want to pay the extra $500 for the tournaments or whatever.

Just last week I was confronted by a student standing outside Target asking for money for the high school track team. Not selling anything, no car wash-just asking for money. Another student walked up to me in the parking lot and asked for money. Pulled out of the parking lot and a group of them where standing in the median (6 lane road) walking up to cars stopped at the light. Seriously?

 

[Good Morning Dewdrop]

Apparently my niece is about to hit us up - they had a tornado in Madagascar and she wants to go on a mission trip for a week. If she asks I'm going to tell her I'll donate directly to the Red Cross. I mean really if the situation is bad over there (and I just haven't heard anything about it) then the Red Cross would have trained people on the ground - to me that's money much better spent than sending an untrained but well meaning 17 year old over there to 'help out'.

 

[pigletto]

I'm fine with a car wash or a pasta dinner night or whatever for this type of fundraising. But I am with the others, if it is your "calling" to go and help that to me means you DO something to make it happen that extends beyond polite begging.
There's actually a few mission type trips that I am very interested in and have every intention of doing once the kids are older. And guess what? I will adjust our lifestyle and save our money to make it happen. I would sooner not go than ask someone to fund it for me.

 

[Samar]

I have skimmed over the post but OP, I completely get where you are coming from. I personally would give a little bit as long as she's not going there to party.

A little bit goes a longggggggg way in India. We went in 2006 to visit my in laws and it took me awhile to get used to everything being so "cheap" compared to the US.

However, to each their own. Hopefully she is willing to earn most of the handouts

 

[Pooh2]

Our friend's 21 year old daughter sent us several letters asking for donations to her trip to Mexico. If you want a trip to Mexico, get a parttime job!

This girl also posted on facebook, "if each of my facebook friends sends me $20 each, I can cover my school trip to Mexico"... I would have been mortified if any of my kids did that!

 

[akcire]

One of my adult cousins tried this a few years ago. I think it was for missionary training school, it was in Hawaii. I'm outside of Chicago. She hit me up on a cold day. I had to explain if I was going to fund a 12 week stay in Hawaii it'd be for me. I'm guessing she received similar responses, she didn't go.

 

[DawnM]

That is when I get the name of the school and call AND call the manager at Target and say that unless this stops I will no longer go to that Target to shop.

I do not wish to be harassed when I am going shopping. I don't mind sales outside as much, but I do expect that when I say no they back off.

As for donating $$ to close friends or family members for trips/experiences, I honestly don't mind giving a bit, depending on what it is for.

Dawn

Just last week I was confronted by a student standing outside Target asking for money for the high school track team. Not selling anything, no car wash-just asking for money. Another student walked up to me in the parking lot and asked for money. Pulled out of the parking lot and a group of them where standing in the median (6 lane road) walking up to cars stopped at the light. Seriously?

 

[DawnM]

This is what we do too, figure out the math and start an ING fund.

My son is going on a high adventure trip this summer and it will cost us a bundle. However, we planned it well over a year in advance and have an ING fund set up to automatically take out the funds per month and put it in the account.

My son isn't old enough to work, but he has contributed by putting in any money he gets for gifts, forgoing some things he wants, and holding several yard sales to raise funds.

We are listing some things on ebay this weekend as well that should bring in some $$.

Dawn

$6,000
9 months = 36 weeks
= $166 per week