So When Did YOU Come Around on Same-Sex Marriage?

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I did forget to mention how the adoption agency they hired messed up the pool at the resort with pink dye in the water during the gender reveal party though.

 

[Anesthesia Fine]

And, now the thread has morphed into an abortion thread. If we can hit Sea World and peanuts on planes, we will have achieved nirvana for the disboards.

I got an abortion at SeaWorld and Hitler gave me peanuts to snack on in the FP+ line while I waited for it.

BINGO!

 

[TLSnell1981]

And, now the thread has morphed into an abortion thread. If we can hit Sea World and peanuts on planes, we will have achieved nirvana for the disboards.

Most of us are aware, that certain topics are taboo. We respect the wishes and rules of the board. Although, they are a bit inconsistent at times.

I got an abortion at SeaWorld and Hitler gave me peanuts to snack on in the FP+ line while I waited for it.

BINGO!

Is this supposed to be humorous? I'm not laughing and don't think it's funny.[/QUOTE]

 

[KPeveler]

The baker was reported to the authorities for illegal discrimination (if you run a business you may NOT discriminate based on many criteria and in that area sexual orientation was one----this post from you might as well ask why "colored" people didn't just shop at other stores, or sit in the back of the bus since it got them where they were going anyway).

The baker was fined because of how awful he was after being reported for his illegal treatment of a customer. The couple did not sue--only filed a complaint.
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovemen...ng_you_heard_on_the_sweet_cakes_case_is_false

Exactly - they posted the contact info for the couple publicly. The couple received death threats and almost lost custody of the kids they were in the process of adopting. THAT is what the state awarded them damages for. If the bakers had kept those details to themselves, they could have gotten away with just a censure/reprimand, or a minimal fine. But instead they were hateful.

 

[Topper]

and I resisted for a long time, specifically for fear people would react as you do, but so many people have pushed me to now, people who ARE "queer" that I figure they are the ones I should respect and I follow their lead.

Seeing that I AM homosexual, I guess my opinion doesn't matter. Got it. Thanks!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Seeing that I AM homosexual, I guess my opinion doesn't matter. Got it. Thanks!

I never meant that at all--and I am very sorry if it bothers you.


It is the preferred term of my good friends (who are also homosexual) and of my homosexual daughter, and of many others I know who identify as queer themselves (though the specifically named people are the most vocal about it). None of them are opposed to homosexual or gay, but that doesn't include everyone they (or I) want to include when speaking of queer rights or queer health, etc

And the term is in wide usage in the mainstream (one way to see that is the link I posted to the queer straight alliance, which used to be called the gay straight alliance).

I guess the opinion of my daughter and of my real life friends, especially when it is easy to look it up and see that they are far from alone in their opinion has much more sway over me than that of one random internet stranger. (who is likely in that "older generation" I mentioned in my first response to you---I don't think I ever indicated I was assuming you were straight or not; I really did not even think to guess one way or another; I guess I was kind of assuming you were my age or older though--sorry again if I am wrong about that). I really am sorry it has come across as hurtful to you, or that the term has ever been used in an insulting way towards you.

 

[katibosch]

The way I understand it, "queer" encompasses more than "gay". For example, since I'm bisexual technically I couldn't join a "gay" alliance since I am not 100% gay. But I could join a "queer" alliance because gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, and other things are included in there.

 

[NHdisneylover]

The way I understand it, "queer" encompasses more than "gay". For example, since I'm bisexual technically I couldn't join a "gay" alliance since I am not 100% gay. But I could join a "queer" alliance because gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, and other things are included in there.

Yes--exactly. Queer includes homosexual, bisexual, pan sexual, asexual, etc.
Sort of like how male includes cis male and transgender male.

It is a more encompassing and inclusive word--which is what the people I know who like it like about it.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Oh my goodness, that's confusing. I guess, it's why I dislike labels.

 

[Topper]

I never meant that at all--and I am very sorry if it bothers you.


It is the preferred term of my good friends (who are also homosexual) and of my homosexual daughter, and of many others I know who identify as queer themselves (though the specifically named people are the most vocal about it). None of them are opposed to homosexual or gay, but that doesn't include everyone they (or I) want to include when speaking of queer rights or queer health, etc

And the term is in wide usage in the mainstream (one way to see that is the link I posted to the queer straight alliance, which used to be called the gay straight alliance).

I guess the opinion of my daughter and of my real life friends, especially when it is easy to look it up and see that they are far from alone in their opinion has much more sway over me than that of one random internet stranger. (who is likely in that "older generation" I mentioned in my first response to you---I don't think I ever indicated I was assuming you were straight or not; I really did not even think to guess one way or another; I guess I was kind of assuming you were my age or older though--sorry again if I am wrong about that). I really am sorry it has come across as hurtful to you, or that the term has ever been used in an insulting way towards you.

If my black friends told me it was ok to use the "N" word in speaking with them, I would never think to use that term so callously in a public forum. It is fine if your group of family and friends request/ask that you use the term "queer", but you need to realize that others may not feel the same.

 

[Topper]

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I was always kind of fascinated by commonlaw marriage. My sister has been living with her boyfriend for 26 years and as far as I know, when they moved to their current state, they have presented themselves as married to everyone. They own a house and have a business, and in an article in their local paper, she referred to her boyfriend as her "husband". Also, we worded my mother's obituary as such. They ARE making it official in a couple of months tho.

Just read your link, UR. (Note to self...read the link I'm quoting before commenting. ) This is what I always thought was "the" definition of a commonlaw marriage, as vaguely remembered from a college law class, a very long time ago :

• New Hampshire: Common Law Marriage: “Persons cohabitating and acknowledging each other as husband and wife, and generally reputed to be such, for 3 years shall thereafter be deemed to have been legally married, until one of them dies.” (N.H. Stat. §457:39)

They don't live in New Hampshire, nor any other state that acknowledges commonlaw marriages. Which I guess is why they feel compelled to get married now that he is seriously ill.

And which I guess is all very much off-topic.

Back to the original question...I have never EVER had a problem with same-sex marriage.

OT again, but since I mentioned it in my previous post...

My sister's boyfriend of 26 years passed away today. As sick as he was, this timing was unexpected; he took a sudden turn for the worse, and in less than 24 hours he was gone. They were a month and a half from getting married. They expected to be married when he died, and there are some questions and legal issues now that they were not.

It's inconceivable to me that anyone would want to keep those LEGAL rights from anyone...all those rights that come with a legal marriage, like decisions during illness, and death, and being families. The sex is going to happen, married or not, between homosexuals, just as between heterosexuals. But everyone should have the same LEGAL marriage rights within those relationships available to them.

 

[Uncle Remus]

OT again, but since I mentioned it in my previous post...

My sister's boyfriend of 26 years passed away today. As sick as he was, this timing was unexpected; he took a sudden turn for the worse, and in less than 24 hours he was gone. They were a month and a half from getting married. They expected to be married when he died, and there are some questions and legal issues now that they were not.

It's inconceivable to me that anyone would want to keep those LEGAL rights from anyone...all those rights that come with a legal marriage, like decisions during illness, and death, and being families. The sex is going to happen, married or not, between homosexuals, just as between heterosexuals. But everyone should have the same LEGAL marriage rights within those relationships available to them.

Oh no, I'm so sorry, Mare. PM me if I can be any help to your sister. Hopefully his family will respect their relationship which should alleviate most problems.

 

[SirDuff]

OT again, but since I mentioned it in my previous post...

My sister's boyfriend of 26 years passed away today. As sick as he was, this timing was unexpected; he took a sudden turn for the worse, and in less than 24 hours he was gone. They were a month and a half from getting married. They expected to be married when he died, and there are some questions and legal issues now that they were not.

It's inconceivable to me that anyone would want to keep those LEGAL rights from anyone...all those rights that come with a legal marriage, like decisions during illness, and death, and being families. The sex is going to happen, married or not, between homosexuals, just as between heterosexuals. But everyone should have the same LEGAL marriage rights within those relationships available to them.

I'm so sorry for your sister's (and your family's) loss. I hope that the questions and legal issues do not make the hard situation even more devastating.

 

[Diznygrl]

I grew up in a world where the word "queer" was only used in a derogatory way. I suppose it's nice that those in the LGBT community have "reclaimed" the word and made it a positive, but personally I will never be able to see or hear it without cringing and I would probably never use it myself.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Oh no, I'm so sorry, Mare. PM me if I can be any help to your sister. Hopefully his family will respect their relationship which should alleviate most problems.

I'm so sorry for your sister's (and your family's) loss. I hope that the questions and legal issues do not make the hard situation even more devastating.

Thanks. It's been a shocker.

His family is, and always has been, fully supportive of her and their relationship. No family lives near them, and as I said upthread, they presented themselves as married, so at the hospital, at decision time, I don't think the question ever came up about her right to make decisions. But I don't really know...our conversation was kind of all over the place. They (or not "they"?) owned a home, a business and some other real estate, and I think her main concern is exactly who owns what assets, and how she'll have to deal with it all.

She called me from his hospital room, so she was really overwhelmed and her mind was racing.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Thanks. It's been a shocker.

His family is, and always has been, fully supportive of her and their relationship. No family lives near them, and as I said upthread, they presented themselves as married, so at the hospital, at decision time, I don't think the question ever came up about her right to make decisions. But I don't really know...our conversation was kind of all over the place. They (or not "they"?) owned a home, a business and some other real estate, and I think her main concern is exactly who owns what assets, and how she'll have to deal with it all.

She called me from his hospital room, so she was really overwhelmed and her mind was racing.

I'm gonna hope they had all their property/assets listed in both names and I'm glad to hear his family is supportive, that'll mean so much to her. I know you're being there for her is a big help.

 

[elphaba91]

I think prior to university it wasn't really something I thought about too much. I didn't really know many gay people - I can only think of one friend, who apparently thought he was in the closet and when he came out everyone was like, 'yeah, we know'. Then once I started uni and became friends with people who were gay and in serious relationships it just seemed obvious that they deserve the right to marry just as much as any straight couple.

I know for my mum, her realisation came when watching Masterchef. She was previously of the belief that same sex couples could have a civil union with the same rights as a married couple, but that there was something about the word 'marriage' that meant it should be reserved for a man and a woman. But then they started talking about a 'marriage of flavours' and she realised that it's just a word, and that if it's being used to apply to food then it certainly should be used to apply to a same sex couple who wants it!

 

[ashley0139]

Oh my goodness, that's confusing. I guess, it's why I dislike labels.

No winky face needed. Labels are very helpful and comforting to many, when they are confused about who they are. I'm guessing you have never questioned whether everything you were conditioned to be as a child was in fact not who you were. I'm guessing you haven't had the first several years of your life turned on its head, and so you can flippantly say you don't like labels so that you don't have to learn what they all mean.

 

[badcramps]

If my black friends told me it was ok to use the "N" word in speaking with them, I would never think to use that term so callously in a public forum. It is fine if your group of family and friends request/ask that you use the term "queer", but you need to realize that others may not feel the same.

This analogy is problematic because there simply is not a huge contingent of black people who are embracing the n word, referring to themselves that way as their identity, an academic discipline named "n-word studies," tv shows with "n-word" in the title, etc. I understand you find the word "queer" offensive and wouldn't use it for yourself and that's fine. But I don't get why you are taking the other poster to task here. It's not like her daughter and friends are some tiny minority or that their preference is unusual. It is extremely common, especially for younger people to embrace the word. Many colleges/universities have entire programs devoted to queer theory or queer studies. Many of my lgbtq students would find it much more objectionable to be referred to as "homosexual" (which they and I see as having an overly clinical, 50s sort of sound to it) than as queer. (Plus, since many of them are not gay or lesbian but bi/pan etc. that label also would simply be false.)

Yes as your later post indicates, the use of the term is controversial--meaning that there is a very large contingent of people who embrace it and prefer it. Given that, it's seems unfair to treat the other poster as if she is using a term that is unquestionably a slur, such as the n-word. Why wouldn't she use the term that large numbers of lgbtq people she knows and cares about use for themselves and their politics? (None of that, of course, is to imply that you ought to like or use the world yourself.)