So I was watching A Baby Story........

[MaryAnnDVC]

I am glad you daughter was saved by a C Section! That's the bottom line with all of this.

Thanks! She's 21 now and considering attending chiropractic school. But that's a whole other thread, and another one I avoided.

 

[mhsjax]

I know this is a little OT but I read that link about formula being poison. Sure I know that breast milk is best and I think probably 100% of the people do. It also said that breast feeding enables bonding unlike formula. Well I beg to differ. I really wanted to BF and I tried my best with my first one. He was a big eater and my milk was very slow coming in. He wold scream every 4e5 minutes to be fed, and forgive the TMI. But that litte guy had me raw and bleeding. Yes he was attched correctly. I was told by Le Leche. But he just couldn't get enough. And everytime he cried for food, All I could think about was Great now I have to go feed this little guy and all he is doing is putting me in extreme pain. I got to where I couldn't stand to try and feed him and resented him for wanting to eat. kNow how in the heck is that supposed to help me bond with him. Hubby said that's it gave me a bottle with formula and he went to sleep that night for 4 hours instead of 30 to 45 minutes.

All of that being said, I think it is great if you can BF put to put our there that it helps bonding is just CRAZY. Rant over.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Hired help?

Yeah...people lose a lot of credibility when their message gets lost in their insults.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Well.

I'm not a mother yet, and have no plans to become one for quite a while. But I have to say, some of these posts scare me. As if making tough choices for yourself and your child isn't tough enough, you evidently have to endure a seemingly endless parade of criticism and guilt-trips from others. That's a shame. We should all be on the same team, cheering each other on.

Kudos to all of you mothers. You have my utmost respect and admiration. This thread made me appreciate my own mother's struggle to bring me into this world a little more.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well, getting back to my original thought- who wants to help me hunt down the idiot who came up with this stupid birth position? Come on! Bring all your constipating foods and we will force feed them to him (it had to have been a man who came up with this!) and then we will make him lie on his back, pull his legs back and tell him to push!!!!!!!! Then we will tell him he is not pushing right and he is not going to make any progress.

 

[minkydog]

I saw a movie the other night and a line stuck with me: "The hardest part of being a woman is having women friends". My goodness, we women can be quite hard and judgemental with each other.

I've never heard men criticize how they parent their children but I sure hear women do that to each other all the time. Because criticizing decisons women make about how they give birth is doing just that.

This is an interesting thread and I do agree, it seems insane to push something that weighs up to 8 or 9 pounds (or more God help them) out of your body when you are in a position that is the opposite of getting that done. Never made sense to me before I had my son and while I was having him it made even less sense!

But as usual with these threads, we women have to preach, beat up, quote, and get huffy with each other. Its too bad. We are all women, most of us seem to have given birth at one time or another and for some of us like me, it was quite a few years ago. Yet its still a hot button topic.

I see somebody make assumptions about epidurals and suddenly I am right back in my kitchen in 1994 talking with my "friend" who had not given birth at that time and listening to her ask me why I had "done that". "That" being have an epidural. I felt put on the spot and ashamed. As if I had been caught smoking a pack of Marlboro's and drinking a six pack of Budweiser the day I gave birth instead of doing what my doctor and nurse suggested after a long, hard labor. Years later when I visted her in the hospital when she had her baby, I played nice and didn't ask her why she had done "that". But she sure as heck did have her own epidural, and I sure as heck got a bit of a laugh about it!

Funny how this topic always brings out the best and worst in people.

Bottom line, if you can, ask to squat or sit if you've been pushing a while. I pushed for four hours and when my doctor finally left the room for a minute and the nurse cranked my bed up, it was amazing at how much easier it got.

I'll leave some of you ladies to your medical theories and opinions.

Very insightful post. I agree 100%.

Sure have. My husband's aunt basically made me feel like a pile of crap for bottle feeding my dd. Its always great when you are a new mom and some "expert" comes in and gives you the 411 on all the things you are doing wrong!

I was tempted to put some of dd's formula in her cereal the next day but I didn't.

Yeah, and I hate hate HATE it when non-parents have all the answers. My sister used to regularly regale me with the "right" way to raise my son. Of course, I was doing everything the "wrong" way at the tim. It didn't help when DS was diagnosed with ADHD. Fast forward: She has a baby, its a hell-raiser, later diagnosed with ADHD and probably Aspergers. DSis called me crying one particularly difficult day and BEGGED my forgiveness for being a twerp. I forgave her, of course(and I didn't even gloat!)

Thanks! She's 21 now and considering attending chiropractic school. But that's a whole other thread, and another one I avoided.

You have my condolences.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

and when he can't push it out we'll count to 10 in his face.

I think that knowledge is power and for pregnant women and women that will become pregnant...arm yourself with information and know there are choices out there and that you have some control over how you want to have your baby.

 

[Freyja]

and when he can't push it out we'll count to 10 in his face.

I think that knowledge is power and for pregnant women and women that will become pregnant...arm yourself with information and know there are choices out there and that you have some control over how you want to have your baby.

I think this is the best advice/comment on this thread!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Yeah, and I hate hate HATE it when non-parents have all the answers. My sister used to regularly regale me with the "right" way to raise my son. Of course, I was doing everything the "wrong" way at the tim. It didn't help when DS was diagnosed with ADHD. Fast forward: She has a baby, its a hell-raiser, later diagnosed with ADHD and probably Aspergers. DSis called me crying one particularly difficult day and BEGGED my forgiveness for being a twerp. I forgave her, of course(and I didn't even gloat!)

Well, at least your sister went on to have a baby of her own. My older sister...a child rearing expert by virtue of the fact that she doesn't HAVE any and therefore no one can ever point out to HER that SHE screwed up...would send me emails and make comments that would make my head spinning put Linda Blair to shame.

 

[PRmamiDEdos]

going OT on the "know it all" non-parents. I have a cousin who's raising his daughter and his sister's son (his nephew). Unfortunately, he's been called off to Afghanistan and his girlfriend (childless) is taking care of them. While I credit her for being there (it has to be hard), she's such a know-it-all b/c she has her degree in child education and teaches parenting classes. HOW DO YOU TEACH PARENTING CLASSES IF YOU'RE NOT A PARENT??? She irks me b/c she swears she's the best kind of parent there is, but meanwhile these kids are bad-mama-jamas around her. Irgh.

Ok, vent over.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

going OT on the "know it all" non-parents. I have a cousin who's raising his daughter and his sister's son (his nephew). Unfortunately, he's been called off to Afghanistan and his girlfriend (childless) is taking care of them. While I credit her for being there (it has to be hard), she's such a know-it-all b/c she has her degree in child education and teaches parenting classes. HOW DO YOU TEACH PARENTING CLASSES IF YOU'RE NOT A PARENT??? She irks me b/c she swears she's the best kind of parent there is, but meanwhile these kids are bad-mama-jamas around her. Irgh.

Ok, vent over.

I agree that is ridulous. It is like going to a priest for marriage counseling. Really? It's not like he has any experience. I also have a list of jobs that you should be required to have kids before you can actually work at said profession.

 

[smschex]

I have not read the posts after this, but I just have to respond to THIS one.

Look, bumber, we GET IT that you are against mainstream medicine. And you can have your herbs and spices and alternative treatment and "adjustments" all you want.

But putting down other women's health care choices is not helpful.

Whether it is breast or bottle feeding, cloth or disposable diapers, stay-at-home moms or daycare, epidurals or not, we are all mothers who are trying hard to do our best.

And what is best for YOU may not be the best for everyone else.

And you have no right to make anyone feel bad for the decisions they make that they feel is in their best interest.

Thank you for saying what I wanted to in a much more eloquent way than I could!

The condescending "hired help" bit always gets me a bit worked up.