"So.. are you pregnant?" Ugh.. RANT!!

[kismet1003]

Congrats first of all!!!

I would be so annoyed at that too. DH and I have been together for 16 years and married for 5 and have no desire to have children. Luckily the questions stop early on for us because it does get to be so annoying.

 

[beatlesblonde]

Congrats on your engagement!

While I haven't gotten the "are you pregnant" question, we have gotten the "it won't be to long before you hear the pitter patter of little feet" comment. Since DF and I have decided not to have kids I just kinda ignore it. You just have to let things go in one ear and out the other.....

 

[iggbees]

i have the worst of both worlds. my boyfriend and i have been together for 5.5 years. i get the when are you getting married question constantly from everyone i meet. now his mom starts talking about grandkids, but says things about how we shouldn't get married until we're 40. then when i told her that i have no problems never getting married but still having kids with her son, she says oh i don't think that he believes that's the way it should be. um, ok? it's a very uncomfortable situation for me.

i know that my boyfriend wants to marry me and he tells me that all the time now (i also know he has the ring and has had it for a month), but it's just not the same as actually asking me. i don't understand why he just doesn't want to make me happy already?

 

[tink774]

Well first of all, congratulations on your engagement!! So happy for you!

Sorry that people are being so rude. That's right up there in my book with people who go to weddings and bombard the couple with questions about when they can expect a pregnancy announcement. I remember Carrie said something about just responding "Well we try constantly!" to get them to shut up. I hope that they will stop pestering you soon and just be happy for you and your DF that you're getting married!

And I laughed at the belly-rubbing posts! I have a friend who just found out that she and her husband are expecting. I don't think she's even showing yet, and she said people are already trying to rub her stomach.

 

[pghloveswdw512]

The weirdest thing of all is that nobody asks us any of these things! We've been living together for almost 2 years and have been engaged for 3 months now. The only time we've been asked about kids was when we told my FMIL we were getting married. She asked if that would be any time soon. Other than that, people don't even really ask about the wedding! I don't know if it's because we're doing an Escape and only inviting immediate family or what, but it feels like people find it awkward to ask about it when they aren't invited to the ceremony!

As for the belly pats, I am already practicing (for a couple years down the road) telling people to please not touch me. I am SO not cool with that!

 

[tink774]

As for the belly pats, I am already practicing (for a couple years down the road) telling people to please not touch me. I am SO not cool with that!

Someone once told me to just rub their bellies back, and they should get the picture.

 

[Elsha]

Someone once told me to just rub their bellies back, and they should get the picture.

OMG I wish I'd thought of that

 

[Wish on a Star]

Someone once told me to just rub their bellies back, and they should get the picture.

LOVE IT!

 

[beatlesblonde]

I remember Carrie said something about just responding "Well we try constantly!" to get them to shut up.

OMG I'm soooo gonna have to start using that line

 

[BecBennett]

Someone once told me to just rub their bellies back, and they should get the picture.

That's so good! I can just imagine the looks on their faces!!!

A friend of mine once said that from when you're engaged you're constantly asked "So have you set a date?" and from when you're married you're constantly asked "so when are you starting a family?"

I hate that expression, as far as I'm concerned DF and I are a family, we don't need children to make us one! I don't want kids, can't stand them and wouldn't like my house to be all sticky...

So at this stage they're not on the cards, but I'm going to have to make sure to tell another friend of mine who's planning on getting pregnant, about rubbing their bellies back... It would almost be worth getting pregnant to be able to do that.

 

[Spacepest]

Congrats on your engagement.

I got the asked the same question by people when I announced my engagement years ago, and get similar type of answers. When I told people that I was not pregnant, and not planning to get pregnant anytime soon, some would often get a sour grape look on their face and ask, "Why bother getting married then?" I noticed the question was usually asked by single parents (never married and divorced) with a "parter" (not a fiance), or by other people who later revealed (out of earshot of their spouse, of course) the only reason they got married was because there was an accidental pregnancy involved, and they "wanted to do the right thing".

And if you have a small, informal wedding because you would rather spend your money paying bills, downpayment for a house, etc., some people absolutely insist the only reason you are being so "cheap" is because you are pregnant and are getting hastily married.

It was interesting to watch the reactions of people when they found out about my non-pregnant wedding. I even had one cousin at my wedding reception break down into tears, then yell at her boyfriend how unfair it was that I got married before she did, when I didn't even provide her man with three children already.

*sigh* Whatever just happened to, "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" and just leaving it at that? And do these people know how rude it is to imply that "The only reason he would ever marry her is because she got knocked up"?

BTW...after 12 years of marriage and no children, the pregnancy questions never end. At this point in time my relatives are acting like I'm pulling a fast one on them because I'm approaching middle age with no babies yet.