So A Former Girlfriend of DH's Past Contacted Him.....Very Confused (Updated post46)

[PaulaSB12]

I've been waiting for someone to show up on our soorstep claming to be DH's son. He has told me about his past so it wouldn't be a surprise. If this one was his son, I wouldn't care and would accept him with open arms. Sadly I really wish this would happen because I don't think our family is complete right now.

I would not be surprised if there are some more children from my father. When he died I found a picture of a woman and a child it looked like a holiday snap. The only difference is I would not accept that person into my family. Why is it assumed that just because there is some biological link you can barge your way into someone else's life?

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

If you can't afford the $300 test that will stand up in court, please do whatever you can to get the $80 test. At least it will tell you if your husband has a possibility of being the father. Do it now. This week. Don't wait. It it not fair to that child or your husband.

Being a bit of a control freak myself, I'd be hocking what ever I could to pay for that test because I could not wait until a "better" time financially. Let's face it, there are no guarantees there will ever be a better time. Financials can change in a heart beat.

As another pp said, your feelings are entirely your own. You can feel any way you want. You do however, need to support your husband's feelings too. What an amazing guy he is! It isn't every man who would want to do the right thing. Look how many men are under bench warrants for back pay in child support. Men who want nothing to do with the children they brought into the world. For you husband's attitude alone he deserves a big hug.

Getting involved with the child before you know for sure can have disastrous consequences for him. Look how torn up that other boy was in the thread mention earlier. Tell your husband to wait, but get that test done NOW.

Best of luck to you and your family.

 

[rie'smom]

Depends who you are. FI and I discussed before we got seriously involved that if anything like this EVER came up for us, it would be a dealbreaker for me. I do not want children. Not now, not ever. And yes, I am not ashamed to say it-- I would absolutely leave my soon to be DH if I found out he had a kid. End of story. He is well aware of this and agrees with me. I doubt it would ever come up but we did discuss What If.

I said this too 3 children ago. No way did I ever want kids. Things sometimes change.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OOPs...just asked dh about the paternity test and it was closer to 500 bucks. It took a couple of weeks to get the results.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

The link the other poster provided says results in 3 -5 days. I know it won't be as good as the one that will hold up in court, but for your piece of mind I would do the cheap one right now.

 

[wdwfan16]

I would not wait for the test. Find a way to pay for it now.

Did your dh pay child support for his daughter and was he in her life?

 

[Goofycampers]

I did not read the other answers to your post, but I have to tell you this EXACT situation happened to my brother. He got a girl pregnant when she was 17 and he was 19 and never knew about it until his daughter turned 16. She kept bugging her Mom about who her real Dad was and she finally told her it was my brother. At first the Mom refused a paternity test. She said it wasn't necessary because she already knew what it would say and she wasn't asking my DB for money or anything but eventually she agreed and sure enough she was right. When we saw the kid, she was the spitting image of my brother which was weird. They did tell my neice who was about 10yrs at the time but not until the test came back. Your situation is different because your son is older and can easily understand. If it were my son I'd be honest about what happened and that you don't for sure until the test is done. Better than have some kid at school out everything to him.