I spent all day yesterday Christmas shopping, then when I got home we had to leave immediately to go to my dad's birthday dinner w/ the entire family.
Anyhow, we got home late and I was going to go right to bed. Dh tells me "we have to talk about something tomorrow".....yep w/ those words I'm awake again.
When I got home from shopping I noticed dh had cracked in several beers, which was odd, because he rarely drinks. I was just into too much of a hurry to put too much thought into it.
Anyhow, turns out a former girlfriend of his contacted him on FB yesterday. She claims that her son is his.
I don't know what to think........
Here is the background: Dh was 17 and she was almost 23 when they were dating. They were not together very long because most family members were very upset about their age difference. Also because just a few weeks into their "going out" she turned up pregnant. Initially she told my husband it was his child and then he said a week later she told him she didn't want to hurt him but it wasn't his child she had been seeing someone else. He then said that when the baby was born she found him then and asked him to come over 1 time and see the baby. He was confused but went. She still insisted that the baby was not his.
All of that background info I knew because he told me in the first year we were together. We just never really talked about it again.
Now this child is 16 yrs old, and she contacts my husband yesterday after 16 years and tells him this is in fact his child. She claims she told this child when he was 10 yrs old "who his father was". She also claims she lied back then because he was just too young, all of his issues then, their families, ect.........
She is pushing really hard for dh to meet this child, like now-- w/o paternity test or anything. Dh and I agree he doesn't want to hurt the 16 yr old feelings, but a paternity test has to be done.
It gets complicated because she told dh she was showing the child photo's from dh's FB page. The child immediately recognized my son and asked who that kid was because he's in several classes w/ my son. Needless to say we now have to talk to my son (he's almost 17) because I have a really strong feeling if we don't something will be said to him tomorrow at school from the impression I'm getting.
I just don't know what to feel. My husband was a very reckless, always in trouble kind of teenager. He dropped out at 16 yrs old, he was arrested several times (though he never went to jail), he has an adult daughter he conceived when he was only 15 yrs old,was heavy into drugs, and he got married at 18yrs old to another girl he barely knew and it last 6 weeks. He has a "colorful" past, to say the least.
The thing is, he is NONE of those things now. He straightened up around 19 yrs old. We didn't meet until several years later, and when he told me about all the heck he raised as a teen I was in shock because you would never know it. When I met him he had already gotten his GED, he was in college getting a better education, he held a steady, great job, he was drug-free. He is still all those things. He has a great job, he's a great husband and step-father, he's a great provider, he's been drug free since he was 19 and NEVER touched any of it again. He's just NOT that guy........he was very upfront about his past before we married and I accepted it. I was actually sometimes in awe at my husband for the guy that he was and the complete turn around he did. I thought it was an incredible.
Other than getting a paternity test, is there any other advice on how to handle this? I've been in just a numb shock state since he told me.
Anyhow, we got home late and I was going to go right to bed. Dh tells me "we have to talk about something tomorrow".....yep w/ those words I'm awake again.
When I got home from shopping I noticed dh had cracked in several beers, which was odd, because he rarely drinks. I was just into too much of a hurry to put too much thought into it.
Anyhow, turns out a former girlfriend of his contacted him on FB yesterday. She claims that her son is his.
I don't know what to think........
Here is the background: Dh was 17 and she was almost 23 when they were dating. They were not together very long because most family members were very upset about their age difference. Also because just a few weeks into their "going out" she turned up pregnant. Initially she told my husband it was his child and then he said a week later she told him she didn't want to hurt him but it wasn't his child she had been seeing someone else. He then said that when the baby was born she found him then and asked him to come over 1 time and see the baby. He was confused but went. She still insisted that the baby was not his.
All of that background info I knew because he told me in the first year we were together. We just never really talked about it again.
Now this child is 16 yrs old, and she contacts my husband yesterday after 16 years and tells him this is in fact his child. She claims she told this child when he was 10 yrs old "who his father was". She also claims she lied back then because he was just too young, all of his issues then, their families, ect.........
She is pushing really hard for dh to meet this child, like now-- w/o paternity test or anything. Dh and I agree he doesn't want to hurt the 16 yr old feelings, but a paternity test has to be done.
It gets complicated because she told dh she was showing the child photo's from dh's FB page. The child immediately recognized my son and asked who that kid was because he's in several classes w/ my son. Needless to say we now have to talk to my son (he's almost 17) because I have a really strong feeling if we don't something will be said to him tomorrow at school from the impression I'm getting.
I just don't know what to feel. My husband was a very reckless, always in trouble kind of teenager. He dropped out at 16 yrs old, he was arrested several times (though he never went to jail), he has an adult daughter he conceived when he was only 15 yrs old,was heavy into drugs, and he got married at 18yrs old to another girl he barely knew and it last 6 weeks. He has a "colorful" past, to say the least.
The thing is, he is NONE of those things now. He straightened up around 19 yrs old. We didn't meet until several years later, and when he told me about all the heck he raised as a teen I was in shock because you would never know it. When I met him he had already gotten his GED, he was in college getting a better education, he held a steady, great job, he was drug-free. He is still all those things. He has a great job, he's a great husband and step-father, he's a great provider, he's been drug free since he was 19 and NEVER touched any of it again. He's just NOT that guy........he was very upfront about his past before we married and I accepted it. I was actually sometimes in awe at my husband for the guy that he was and the complete turn around he did. I thought it was an incredible.
Other than getting a paternity test, is there any other advice on how to handle this? I've been in just a numb shock state since he told me.
Hugs to you and your family. 
