Smart family isnt right

[Lanshark]

Everything is not a conspiracy. Who knows how anyone would act in a similar circumstance? This child had been through a lot. The Stockholm syndrome deals with the fact that many captives end up defending their captors once they become dependant. Personally, I think the media and everyone else should BUTT out of their lives at this point and let the family get the psychological help they need. The endless speculation tried Richard Ricci in the media. We don't learn because the same thing is being repeated. Endless commentary, speculation, innuendo will not allow this child and family to begin the healing process.

 

[Lynn CC]

I was really happy and surprised when she was found alive...I shed tears for the whole family.

I just keep thinking to myself, if it were DH and I we would BOTH be STUCK to our child like GLUE after not knowing for so long if there would be a second chance.
Neither one of us would have been doing interviews and such What's the matter with him? Doesn't he want to be with his daughter? I'm sure she needs him right now....JMO

I know he is trying to get the "Amber Alert" enacted, and I think he's wonderful for that. I stilldon't think I could tear myself away after 9 months of not knowing what happened to my child.

 

[ahutton]

I wouldn't be surprised to learn in the future that one of the methods of coercion involved using her faith, which it seems very strong in her family, as part of how she was convinced to stay away from home, and not seek help. She may also have been told harm (physical or spiritual) would come to her family if she tried to "get out".

Also, I heard someone (maybe a reporter) ask why when she was in San Diego didn't she run away... Can you imagine being 14-15 years old, in an unfamiliar place, having already been convinced your "duty" was to be doing what you are doing?

I'm getting frustrated with the media's second guessing of how the police handled the investigation. Of course, everyone wishes they had located her sooner, been looking in the right place at the right time... But it is very easy to criticize when everything is said and done, the unknown becomes known, and you realize how close they were.

 

[bumcat]

CRB - I totally agree with your last post. I do believe she was brainwashed and probably so full of fear she couldn't escape if she wanted to. I guess the reason I am so angry at the parents is because I came from a very abusive home and I know what severe abuse can do to a child. She will never be the little girl that she was. If she seems diff. now it's because she is diff. now. I just wish they had protected her better.

Does anyone remember the sad story about the kidnapping of Steven Stayner (sp?). He was kidnapped at a young age and held for 7 yrs. He had plenty of oppurtunities to escape but didn't until his kidnapper took another young child. He didn't want the yound child to go thru what he did.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I would never EVER question why she didn't try to get away. I can't even begin to imagine what I would feel, as a woman in her 40's, never mind a 14 year old girl, if kidnapped and threatened with harm as I'm sure they did. So what if they were around other people...can't you understand a fear that at the slightest attempt to tell someone, that you could be killed? Or that EVERYONE you were around were friends of the kidnappers? Or who knows what she may have been told. I certainly don't believe she wanted to get out of her house.

I do think the father seems odd...JMO...but not in any way where I think he had anything to do with it. It's just an impression I have of him, like I would have of anyone I see or meet...not judging, just an impression. The fact that he isn't acting the way I would isn't wrong; I do understand him taking this opportunity...to some extent...to get his message out about the Amber Alert while this situation is fresh in everyone's mind; I mean, EVERYONE is watching him now.

I also think it was very wrong and very stupid to bring homeless strangers into one's home when there are children around. It's not that I don't have compassion myself, or don't understand other's compassion or generosity...but what about good old common sense and compassion and responsibility for your own family! I think there are many other ways to help people...all of these compassionate and generous families can get together and buy land where these people can grow their own food, or work side by side to build their own houses. There are soup kitchens and training programs, etc. Inviting someone in my home where I have children after meeting him panhandling on a street corner?? No way.

bumcat, I do remember Steven Stayner...he was told by his kidnapper that his parents didn't want him, as well as a whole bunch of other head games the kidnapper played. He went to school and never told anyone, because he was so convinced by everything his kidnapper told him. Sadly, after he did get away, got married, and became a father, he was killed, I think, in a car accident. And on another sad note, it was his brother who murdered that woman, her daughter and the daughter's friend a couple of years ago (in Colorado?). Boy...what that family has gone through as well.

 

[pajamommy]

Gosh, I thought that I was the only one that was thinking that something just doesn't seem right. And, I hate to be so cynical, I'm so glad that she's alive, its just that something seems weird to me. I don't know.

 

[Claudia1]

We often have repair persons and others in and out of our homes every day. As responsible parents, we protect our children in the process. How often do strangers see our children with us in our homes, cars, etc...? All the time!

Just because they used drifters as handymen, that doesn't mean that they did not protect their children in the process. They could have been right there, kept their children separate, scheduled repairs only when the children were not at home, etc....

My point is this: don't assume that hiring unknown persons forms the foundation of risking your children. We all do similiar things in our daily lives.

 

[RitaZ.]

I also agree with CRB#33.

We can all make assumptions about this case, but the fact is that we don't know how we would react in the same situation unless we experienced it first-hand. Even then, we would all handle it differently.

I'm thrilled that Elizabeth has been found alive and is reunited with her family. I pray for her and her family, they have a long difficult road ahead of them.

 

[CathyCanada]

I have to agree with CRB too.

My opinion is that she WAS brainwashed, she was young, frightened and impressionable. Patty Hearst understands what she went through and has come out and said as much.

I think the Jon-Benet Ramsey situation has jaded our thoughts and feelings, especially since it seems that no one will ever know what truly happened there. Now THERE are 2 parents whose credibility I question.

I thought that Ed Smart's behaviour at the first press conference was odd because he seemed a little odd, but not enough to be hiding anything. I think he is a passionate man, grateful to have his daughter back and with the passing of the Amber Alert bill, hoped that others didn't have to go through what he did. He is not a professional, just an emotional father, IMHO.

Like Judi, this made me believe in miracles again. Hopefully time, and counselling, can heal the hurt done to this child and her whole family.
CC

 

[jpmom97]

It is wonderful that Elizabeth Smart was found and she is safe, it is a miracle from God. That said, I too find the family and the circumstances very odd. I hope we do find out what happened.
I think Susan Smith ( the women who killed her children by drowning them in the car and then crying to us on national television that she was car jacked) has ruined these situations for us forever. I never trust anyone crying on tv anymore. It's the same with the Lacey Peterson case, I think her husband is guilty. I pray I never have to go through a child missing or a murder.
I have seen homeless people on the streets, I have given them money. I have also seen these religious nuts on the streets too. I have children, I would NEVER offer these people work in my home. I am very lucky to have a handy husband who does all the work on our home himself or he has help from friends. We do not bring strangers into our house, but it is true most people wouldn't think twice of letting the plumber in, when he could be a kidnapper as well.
The case will unravel in time and I am curious to see what happens. I think Mr. Smart should stop critisizing the the Republican about this Amber Alert. Didn't we hear about the disappearance a few hours after it happened anyway? I don't know, we will just have to wait I guess.

 

[Jeafl]

I heard on the radio yesterday that the drifter was only at their house for 5 hours on one day, and that Elizabeth was not even home at the time. He apparantly had been staking out their house out for quite awhile afterwards, and that's when he saw Elizabeth and her sister. It was bad judgement on the father's part to bring him to their home, but hindsight is always 20/20.

I tend to agree with CRB, Snoopy, Cathy and the others who say that she was brainwashed. I truly hope she gets the psychological help she needs very quickly, and that the family can begin to heal.

 

[Pin Wizard]

I remember that Susan Smith stuff. I remember the camera zooming in on her eyes. And although she "acted" very upset, there wasn't an actual tear running down her cheek. In the first article's link on the first page here, the article says Ed Smart "sobbed." You can't just conjur up sobs on a whim. Personally, I have probably seen them once on TV when Elizabeth was first gone. I haven't seen them since.

 

[luvwinnie]

seems so insincere to me...I bet he runs for office. He SOBS, but never sheds a tear!!

 

[kdibattista]

Gosh, I thought that I was the only one that was thinking that something just doesn't seem right. And, I hate to be so cynical, I'm so glad that she's alive, its just that something seems weird to me. I don't know.

To everyone who has this opinion:

I just don't understand what is so incredibly weird about this? Are you trying to say the family was involved? Are you trying to say the dad was involved? Are you trying to say the Elizabeth set this up herself? If none of those, than what? A fourteen year old girl was abducted and put through hell for 9 months and not even 2 days after she is back you are making comments on how the family is reacting? God forbid it was one of your children. How would you react. The truth is you don't know and I honestly believe the last thing this family needs is for people to be critical of their behavior. There is also a lot of information we don't know and frankly, I don't believe it's any of our business. I just pray that her and her family can work their ordeal without having to hear these kinds of damaging remarks. I can't imagine that it's very productive.

 

[ennazus]

I know if my son were taken from me and missing for nine months I WOULD BE A NUT CASE!!! I would be sick. I would be freaky. I would need mental health help. I may have no facial expressions, I may burst into tears, I may be smiling a goofy grin. I may do all of that in 5 minutes. That sure is strange isn't it? Well having your child taken from you would drive anyone crazy!

Of course there are many unanswered questions still. Would you want your daughter hounded by police and worse the media to answer the questions?! As wrong as it might be to do, I would shield her for a while. Let the family gather their bearings. Let the family have time for this to sink in!! Can you imagine waking up every morning for nine months with the dreaded weight of not knowing where your daughter is? When they woke up today, did they immediately feel joy or was there still that old routine of dread in the first few seconds? I wouldn't know & hope I never have to find out!

One thing that I found strange was when Ed Smart (her father) spoke to the media shortly after Elizabeth was found and kept going on and on about getting the Amber Alert bill passed

Have you ever had a very tramatic experience happen to you and then when things go right (or even if they go wrong) you want to share that with the WORLD to make sure that no one ever has to experience the pain you've felt. Now is his time to help other children!! Look at the host of America's Most Wanted. He dove into this after the tragedy with his son. Locally there is a woman here who lost her son because the baby sitter shook the baby to death and she started the campaign "Don't Shake Jake ". Tragedy can be motivating beyond belief.

how can a 15-year-old girl who appeared "in public" at parties and crowded places NOT figure out a way to slip somebody a note or whisper in someone's ear

Because she's not the same person.

Check out this interview with Interview With Patricia Hearst & Larry King
This is what PH said when asked why she didn't run away from her captors:

HEARST: Because you have been so abused and so robbed of your free will and so frightened that you believe -- you come to a point where you believe any lie your abductor has told you. You don't feel safe. You think that either you will be killed if you reach out to get help. You believe that your family will be killed. You're not even thinking about trying to get help anymore. You've in a way, given up. You have absorbed this new, you know, identity that they've given you. You're just surviving. You're not even doing that, really. You're just living while everything else is going on around you.

They say you can never really know a person until you've walked a mile in his moccasins.

 

[jpmom97]

I don't know about you but my 5 year old son can sob on a whim. I'm with you luvwinnie, I believe he will run for office too.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Don't get me wrong, I am so glad that she is still alive. Usually after the first 24 hours you can forget it.

I am commenting on the families behavior from the beginning until now, just not what has happened over the past two days. The man "cries" without any tears. She was "brainwashed" but now seems settled. I can only imagine what this poor girl went through. I hope and pray she gets whatever help she needs. As for the family, I hope the police continue to keep a close eye on them.

 

[suzannen]

I don't know what "normal" behavior would be for parents that this happened to. As one poster said, I would literally be out of my mind and have no idea how I would appear or come across to others. I will wait until there are more details from Elizabeth herself about what happened before I judge the parents behavior. I think it's going to be somewhat similar to the Patty Hearst scenario with a little Charles Manson mind-control and sexual abuse added in. Unfortunately, poor Elizabeth Smart, whatever the circumstances, will never be the same.

 

[pajamommy]

The man "cries" without any tears.

I hate to say this, but the way he cries very much reminds me of how Susan Smith cried. I'm in no way saying he's hiding anything or anything like that, its just how he comes across to me when he cries, etc.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Can anyone who insists that she was brainwashed, or questions how she could have been brainwashed but is suddenly now ok, please explain to me EXACTLY what brainwashing IS?? I think people are throwing this word around too loosely without really understanding what it means.

I don't think that her mind was so altered that she had no recollection who her family is or that they love her and wanted her back. I DO think that the kidnappers exerted control over her mind in the sense that she knew what her place was in order to survive under their control. And now that she's free of their control and back with her family, she's behaving the way she does with her family...I'm CERTAINLY not saying everything is fine with her after the ordeal, but she's safe now.