slo's Thursday poll - Wakes & Funerals

[slo]

How do you feel about going to Wakes & Funerals?


I thought of this because my DH's Grandma passed away this past weekend and the wake was yesterday and the funeral is today.

I personally don't mind going to Wakes & Funerals.
Having friends and family there always helps the ones that are mourning.


Poll coming!!!!

 

[T1130]

I don`t mind going.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I hate them. Yes, me, the goth, who is obsessed with death and has seriously thought about going into mortuary science and wants a hearse and a real coffin for use as a coffee table and wears a skull ring and t-shirts, etc. and rather enjoys hanging out in the cemetery (I take photographs of the sculptures). I just can't stand funerals and wakes themselves.

I do realise, however, that a lot of people get closure and say goodbye this way, whatever works, I understand that. I just have my own beliefs and have had personal experiences that lead me to believe that the person is NOT truly gone. I know I'll see him/her again eventually. In the meantime, he/she is still with me, just in a different way

 

[jen0610]

While I don't mind funerals, I much perfer a memorial service. For both grandparents on my dads side, there was as much laughter as crying, if not more, due to all of the wonderful stories shared by those who attended. I heard some dozies for my grandma, many that I hadn't heard before. And for grandpa, we could have been there all day, with the stories people wanted to share. Both grandpa and grandma were loved and well respected in their town. Most of the funerals I have been to lately, mostly for DH's side of the family, there has been little to no laughter or story sharing. You can definetly tell the difference between the two side of the families. For my side, a memorial service is a celebration of their life, while DH's side is a.... funeral....not really sure how to state it without sounding awful.

 

[Bob Slydell]

While it's obviously something you never want to have to go to, I don't have a problem with it. On my mom's (Sicilian) side of the family, it's kind of like a family reunion.

My DW hates them and will avoid them at all costs, on the other hand.

 

[slo]

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

It's surely not my favorite thing to go to, because of all the loss and sadness involved.

 

[Sparx]

I hate every funeral. But I'll go.

 

[hellokitty86]

I won't go to wakes or funerals.

It's just too morbid for me and I kind of have a phobia with dead people. (I know it doesnt make sense, I can't even watch shows that show fake dead people.) I like to remember these people the way they were, and I don't want my last memory of that person, seeing them dead in a coffin.

I realize this is weird. So no flames please. I don't think the person who's dead cares anyway. I show my support to those in mourning outside of the funeral home.. Luckily my family understands and doesn't hold this against me. I've gone to many funerals in the past, and I regretted them all. It's just too tramatizing for me.



ETA: I always go to memorials, and thats what I want when I die. (Not in a funeral home. )

 

[hlbtimes2]

Give the choice, I would pick a wake or memorial over a funeral. And I HATE viewings. The last memory of a person really shouldnt be of the them dead in a box. Much rather just remember them the way I last saw them alive.

 

[slo]

 

[precious pixie]

I dont mind going to them I think it is good for friends and family to be together.

Slo - I am sorry to hear about the loss in your family

 

[mking624]

I don't mind going. I think it's a good opportunity for all the friends and family to say a final goodbye. My grandfather passed away a couple of years ago and it was very hard on me as he was basically a second father to me. We were very close. I gave the eulogy at his wake. It was not easy for me, but it wound up being very healing to tell all the people there just how wonderful a man my grandfather was (most knew him personally, but some did not). And it was very healing to have all those people there sharing stories and pictures from his life.

I'm not a huge fan of open casket services, but I don't dread them. However, I was young when my grandmother died and she had an open casket service and at that age it didn't even phase me. I was there with my grandfather when he died, so it wouldn't have affected me as it would have if I hadn't seen him and then all of a sudden he's laying in a casket. However, he was cremated. We had a casket at the funeral home more for symbolism than anything.

Whether it's a funeral, wake, or memorial service, people need closure of some sort. These services give people the opportunity to do it all as one group comforting each other.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Like Bob, it is also a "family reunion" of sorts. We all comfort each other in the time of sorrow. I prefer "Open Casket" to just a memorial.
I grew up with going to open casket funerals and when you go to a memorial it feels odd to me for some reason.
Esp if you haven't seen the person in quite some time.

 

[slo]

 

[I Love Pluto]

I hate funerals. I go only because I am expected to be there. That's probably the worst reason possible to go to a funeral.

I have chosen direct cremation for myself when I leave this earth. No funeral, no memorial service. I have requested, in legal papers, that my Drum & Bugle Corps play "Irish Eyes" after I have gone.

Crazy? Maybe. That's who I am.