sleepovers and age..

[mykidsand_i]

I have two girls, 6 and 8. We tried a sleepover last year with my DD who was then 7- when she went next door to her good friends house for a birthday sleepover. There were 3 girls total, she had a great time- until about midnight. Then, at 12:30 we got the call that she wanted to come home. I know every kid is different and is ready at different times. She got an invite to her good friends sleepover, which is tonight. It's across town, about a 10 minute drive from us, so not far at all.

She thinks she's ready, but she thought that last time too. I'm HOPING that she can make it through the night!!! I hope that she doesn't get this 'homesick' feeling in the middle of the night. She's been to this girls house three times this year to play, and I've spoken to this little girls parents quite often- about play dates, church activities and things- I know the are great, christian people- so there is NO WORRY about having her go there.

How old were your kids when they first did sleep overs? Did you get nervous? Even though you knew that they were safe and knew that they'd have a great time? I'm having these nerves that are kind of crazy. I'm not worried about her safety, and it is just a short drive to go and get her, so I'm sure she'll have fun, but are these nerves normal for most of us to have? Or am I an oddball?

 

[AustinTink]

My son was 4 on his first sleepover! He and his BFF have been friends since they were 6 months old. We trade sleepovers every other weekend with the family.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Sleepovers with other families close to our family started since I was only months old.

Sleepovers with others that I met at school started at age 9. I wasn't scared and idk if my mom was worried. I remember having a blast though.

 

[simba20]

Here's my addmittence:

I used to always leave early (aka middle of the night) from sleepovers because I was a night owl. So what was the problem? I hated being the last one to fall asleep. I'd lie there awake as everyone fell asleep, and then my mind would just start going (hence the night owl) and turn into anxiety. SO I'd work myself up into a full blown stomache or make myself throw up, and be able to say "Sorry I got sick guys..." so it was never made into a "Ha ha Jen got scared..." kind of thing.

Sometimes I would really get a stomache, but it wasn't until I was in college and learned that I was lactose intolerant...so sleepover combination dinners of pizza and ice cream really would do a number on me.

So it was either anxiety or lactose intolerance......

However, when I had sleepovers at my house, I was always fine.......

 

[DeniseinNS]

My daughter was 6 1/2 when she had her first sleepover, my son is 5 and has not had one yet.

 

[princessmom29]

My DD6 has been spending the night at my mom's about once a month pretty much since birth. She also stays on occasion with my sis and BIL. She hasn't had a sleepover at a friend's ouse yet, not because i wouldn't allow it, but because it has never come up.

 

[design_mom]

My DS had his first friend sleepover at age 7. I thought it was a little young (but it was a good friend, a birthday party, and he lived right down the street.) I was fully expecting a call in the middle of the night, but it never came. He had a blast.

My DD just turned 6. She has slept at grandma's house and at my sister's, but never with a friend.

I think kids are just different. I never had trouble at sleepovers, but I don't think my sister *actually* stayed over until she was in high school. She would go... and then call in the middle of the night.

 

[MichelleVW]

I'm not sure, but I think they were probably 5 or so. But I know they spend the night with friends of the family before that. We were military and when friends would babysit the girls would usually just sleep over.

Both girls started going to girl scout camp when they were 8. When DD19 went to camp for the first time she was in second grade and went away for a week, I cried all week long, but she was fine!

 

[LadyDooley]

my children were both young... 7 i think.

we travel a lot though so they are very used to different environments. I think they also knew I would not be pleased if they called to come home either.

I have no idea what made them comfortable places though.

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD is 13. She has always been an anxious kid and she STILL won't do sleep overs. DS11 was at sleepaway camp for a week at age 6 and loves to have sleep overs with friends and go to camp. It just depends on the kid.

 

[kellyg403]

I agree that all the kids are different. I have 6 children, my oldest ds didn't start staying over at his friends houses until he was in HS. Mainly because even at 18, 8:30 was his time to turn into a pumpkin, and he liked to do that in his own room in own bed. He is 25 and just the other day he was saying that he was tired. I asked what time he went to bed and he said 10 after 8.

I have a few that wanted to sleep over at their friends every day and never called home. Or their friends had to sleep over here. They liked going to other people's houses!

My youngest ds14 rarely sleeps anywhere but in the last year he has finally branched out and gone to a few parties. He just really likes sleeping at home.

Kelly

 

[marcyinPA]

My boys started sleeping at my mom's house by themselves when they were very young...like 1 or 2 years old!

My oldest had his first "friend" sleepover in about second grade. My youngest had his first sleepover at a very close friend's house at the age of 4. He began going to NC on vacation with them for a week every summer starting in first grade!

 

[mjkacmom]

My boys started sleeping at my mom's house by themselves when they were very young...like 1 or 2 years old!

My oldest had his first "friend" sleepover in about second grade. My youngest had his first sleepover at a very close friend's house at the age of 4. He began going to NC on vacation with them for a week every summer starting in first grade!

I don't count grandma - my oldest was sleeping there at 3 months!

 

[MichelleVW]

I don't count grandma - my oldest was sleeping there at 3 months!

Sleeping at grandma's really does count. It teaches then that they won't fall apart if they aren't in their own house with their own parents.

 

[turkeymama]

My daughter was 4 when she slept over at a friend's house for the first time. She had a blast and didn't want to leave the next day.

My son is 6 and still hasn't slept over anywhere, although we have tried (he gets scared.)

My nephew is almost 13 and he still gets scared at some sleep-overs. He is a "high-anxiety" kid, though.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I am going to say my kids were around age 8. I don't remember being that young and going to sleepovers as a child though.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

My mom didn't "believe" in sleep overs so I think I went to 2 in my whole life, and they were both when I was 14 lol. When I was younger and was invited to a sleepover my mom would let me stay til 11 or 12 and then come pick me up. She knew all my friends' parents too, they were all good people, but still she just didn't believe in them. Thing that made me laugh...after not being "allowed to sleep over" anyone's house, when I was 16 I was "allowed" to go to Ireland and England with the ITC @ my HS lol. I never understood that

I have a DD now, not sure what I will do with her, she has a peanut allergy so that adds to the worry, she's only 5 I still have time. lol.

I say if she's ready give it a try, whats the worst that could happen? You get another call @ midnight? GL

 

[Mary•Poppins]

How old were your kids when they first did sleep overs? Did you get nervous? Even though you knew that they were safe and knew that they'd have a great time? I'm having these nerves that are kind of crazy. I'm not worried about her safety, and it is just a short drive to go and get her, so I'm sure she'll have fun, but are these nerves normal for most of us to have? Or am I an oddball?

These are normal feelings ... however ... since you seem to be saying that YOU are nervous about the sleep over, your DD probably can "feel" you are a little nervous too. These are the times you take a deep breath, put on your BEST acting skills and tell her she is going to be fine and have a great time. Also tell her that you will pick her up if she changes her mind ... however play up the fact that she is going to have a great time.

Someday you will look back on this time and tell yourself, "What was I worrying about?". I am right now teaching my oldest how to drive ... and trust me, I think my acting skills are getting more and more refined!

Hope this helps and good luck tonight!

 

[Ohiodislover]

My DDs had friends/sisters that were the exact same ages as they were. So we each did 1 sleepover a month with both kids at each others house. We started at ages 2 and 5. Because we knew the other family well, and they knew us, there was not much anxiety. I was nice knowing we could have a date night once a month too Plus, I'm sure each girl having a sister there helped a lot.

Good luck OP. Before you know it, your kids will be asking to go to a friends for the night, and you will be agreeing before they can get the words out of their mouth, and doing a little happy dance

 

[padams]

DSs were both 5 when they went on their first sleepovers.

DSs have never left a sleepover early. However, each boy has had a friend go home early from our house. In both cases, the mom was really anxious about the sleepover. One dropped off her child around dinner time, and wanted to comeback to check on him after she and her dh went out to dinner, around 8:30. Sure enough, when the mom came to check, her son suddenly decided he should go home. The other kid had a mom who called a couple of times during the evening to talk with her son to see how he was doing. This time, at the 10:30 call, the boy decided her wanted to be picked up. Both boys were school classmates and had been friends with DSs for several years. They had been to our house many times to play. In both cases, DSs were really disappointed that their friends went home. They had been excited to have a friend spend the night because it isn't something we do every night. I don't think the parents or kids realized the effect of their early departures on the host children. I can't recall DSs ever inviting those kids to spend the night again.

If your dd senses you are anxious about the sleepover, she is more likely to come home early. I would tell her she's going to have a lots of fun. Tell her that you look forward to seeing her in the morning and to hearing about the fun she had. Tell the other mom to call you if there are any issues. If you have to call to check on your dd, then just talk to the parent, don't interrupt the sleepover to speak with your dd. DD may sense that you miss her too much or that you don't think she's capable of being there all night, and want to come home.