Single and wondering

[Zoiebear]

From reading this board quite a bit lately, I have noticed people have no prob sharing what they think.....................

So let's hear what people think, I am 32 and single, no kids ( excluding my two beagle kids) own home, good job and yadda yadda. Everyone around me is married, getting married, starting a family and so forth, it just feels like it will never happen for me. Just wondering if there is anyone else in my same boat? Any thoughts? Opinions?
Stacie

 

[goofygirl]

I am 37, not married (I'll be shocked if I ever marry), have no kids (not planning on any).

Honestly, I think marriage and family is overrrated and that singlehood ( and especially singlehood with pets!) is underrated. I love my independence and wouldn't give it up for anything.

It may seem like a bummer when all your girlfriends are paired up with men, but you have to ask yourself, "Are they really better off than me just because they have a man?" I bet you'll answer "No."

You are 32, that's not an "old maid". Don't feel like you are "old." I'm not going to say the old cliches everybody else says to me, "Oh he's out there, you'll meet him someday..." because I really DON'T KNOW if he's out there or that you'll meet him. But I would not totally rule it out, either. If you want to meet people, join groups that interest you. You have nothing to lose by doing that.

PS- the fact that you own a home, have a good job and love dogs makes you a good catch!

 

[Aidensmom]

I say, do what feels right to you. There is no "better" choice between being single an married.

I am married now, but also really enjoyed being single, and definately things about it that I miss, like not having to worry about making plans around someone else. Luckily I am married to someone who realizes I do a lot of spontaneous stuff and it doesn't upset him.

 

[Michie]

My oldest is 21, he calls me from college to mail him laundry soap And people keep asking me when he is going to get married

I would rather somebody be single and wondering, than married and unhappy.There is no"right" choice.

 

[disykat]

I agree. I do really feel for people who want to be married and haven't met the right person though. My sister is in that boat and she's 46. She didn't want to have kids as a single person so she lost out on that opportunity - something she wanted. She still hopes to marry some day. I know several great people that didn't meet the right person until they were in their 40's. Not all people who are single are single by choice - sometimes they really just haven't met the right person.

I married at 29, so I've seen both sides. I really wanted to marry and have kids and wondered if I would have that opportunity. I'm thankful that I did, but still agree it would be better to be single and looking, than to be married to the wrong person.

 

[vivilasvegas]

Quit worrying about it and make your life what you want it to be. That's all that matters in the end.

When you are truly happy and satisfied with your own life, that's when other good things will come to you.

You can't be happy with anything else until you are happy with yourself.

 

[WDWLVR]

From reading this board quite a bit lately, I have noticed people have no prob sharing what they think.....................

So let's hear what people think, I am 32 and single, no kids ( excluding my two beagle kids) own home, good job and yadda yadda. Everyone around me is married, getting married, starting a family and so forth, it just feels like it will never happen for me. Just wondering if there is anyone else in my same boat? Any thoughts? Opinions?
Stacie

Stacie - you are where I was 16 years ago. I still "lived at home" but that was because by that time it was only my mom and I. Then at 32 I got involved with a group of sci-fi fans and met a wonderful man. We started out as friends, then started dating, and got married the next year.

I had stopped looking at that point and that is when love found me. So my advice is do what makes you happy (in my case it was going to sci-fi conventions) and interact with people.

I think the important thing is that you are happy with yourself and your life. If you aren't happy with yourself I don't think just having someone else in your life can make you happy. However if you are happy with yourself having someone to share it with can make you happier. Hope that makes sense.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

I am in my mid-30s and single, and honestly never imagined myself married. Even as a teen, I never wanted it. And to this day, I have absolutely no desire to even try to make it happen. I just don't care. Many people in my life don't understand, because they assume EVERYONE must want to find someone and marry. But I don't and that's fine by me.

 

[Zoiebear]

Wow, I can relate................. to the mom who's son asks for laundry detergent. When I was in college, at UC Berkeley..... in my early 20's my roommates couldnt understand...... I would take my laundry home to grama, because she enjoyed doing laundry (actually that was her way of still doing things for me, when I was "on my own") every weekend, when all my roommates had to do their own.

I just wish I could meet someone to share my life with. Dont get me wrong, I have always dreamed of getting married and having a family.......... maybe not the fairy tale way, but just normal. (whatever normal is)

I love my furr babies!! I have stopped looking, it just seems that the men who want me arent the men I want!!! It is frustrating!!!

Stacie

 

[Marseeya]

Stacie, I think if you just follow your interests, you'll eventually find someone you're compatible with. Look at WDWLOVER, who said she started joining sci-fi groups. You love animals, so why not get involved in some of your local groups -- humane society, or aspca -- just volunteer a few hours a week and see what turns up. I met my DH when I was in my 20s, but I fully believed that I would never get married (didn't really want to). I met him online when I was looking for fellow writers. I ended up joining a tarot card group because I enjoyed playing around with them, and there he was.

I've also known people to have success from dating services (both online and regular ones). One of my best friends married a great guy she met from Matchmaker.

Don't give up.

 

[agotta]

I think too many people get married because that is what they are supposed to do. Marriage is a big step and a big commitment. If you are happy with your life the way it is then I wouldn't change a thing!!

 

[Straycat]

Lyrics from Tarzan "Trust your heart - Let fate decide"

You are still young, you never know which road life is going to bring you down. If you would like marraige and kids, keep the faith and keep your eyes and options open. Life works in mysterious ways but it always seems to work out. If the single life is your cup of tea, enjoy it to the fullest, looks like you got that going on pretty nicely.

I was married and had a child by the time I was 21. It was a great life but it changed when I turned 33 and my husband passed away. After awhile, I figured out that I loved being single, not that I was out dating like crazy or anything. I had something to prove to myself. It was a big sense of satisfaction knowing that I could be a single mom, pay the bills, be successful in my career and enjoy being me as a single entity, not as a couple. I didn't ever want to get married again.

But life decided otherwise for me, its been about five years since then and I am recently married and just had a baby girl 6 weeks ago. You just never know where life is going.

Good luck with your life, I hope you get what you desire.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I married Dh when I was 37. He was worth the wait. Under NO circumstances should you think about "settling". I did that in my mid 20's, all my friends were married and having kids and I felt like it would never happen for me. I spent 2 years in a miserable and sometimes violent marriage. Of those 2 years we probably lived in the same home less than 1/2 that. After my divorce it took another 10 years to find the right man. Hang in there.

 

[CathrynRose]

I say, do what feels right to you. There is no "better" choice between being single an married.

I am married now, but also really enjoyed being single, and definately things about it that I miss, like not having to worry about making plans around someone else. Luckily I am married to someone who realizes I do a lot of spontaneous stuff and it doesn't upset him.

2nd this - Not married, but with a man for 4 years (engaged now) and couldnt be happier that I met someone who realizes I'm rather independant. Im an only-child who was single for a long time....even when I was married to my ex, I was basically "single".

 

[SillyMe]

My oldest is 21, he calls me from college to mail him laundry soap And people keep asking me when he is going to get married

I would rather somebody be single and wondering, than married and unhappy.There is no"right" choice.

Absolutely! After 10 years with the same person, I'm single again and happier than I have been for a long time. I'm only 36 years old and I don't know if I'll ever find that right person for me, but in the meantime I am going to live my life for me.

Don't worry about what other people are doing or what alot of people consider the "norm". Enjoy the life that you are living and make the most of it, whether you are single or not.

 

[Boater]

From reading this board quite a bit lately, I have noticed people have no prob sharing what they think.....................

So let's hear what people think, I am 32 and single, no kids ( excluding my two beagle kids) own home, good job and yadda yadda. Everyone around me is married, getting married, starting a family and so forth, it just feels like it will never happen for me. Just wondering if there is anyone else in my same boat? Any thoughts? Opinions?
Stacie

Zoie,
Don't trust the advice of single women with Cats.................

 

[MissBubbles]

I'm single, 41 years old, own my house (going on 10 years), been at the same company for 15+ years and am very happy being single, foot loose, fancy free, etc. I do have 3 dogs for company, my parents live within 30 miles, my best friend lives within a mile of me - I for one don't regret being married and don't really wants kids of my own.

The only thing I worry about is that I'm an only child and not close to my extended family. I wonder about my older years and who to pass things on to when I'm gone - like all the scrapbooks I've worked on. But all in all, I'm happy with the status quo. That's not to say if they right guy came along I wouldn't be interested in getting married, but I'm enjoying my life the way it is.

 

[CheshireVal]

I got married at 30 (actually, I was closer to 31 ), and I was pretty much the last one of my friends to do it. Even at work, I'd always be the only single woman at the lunch table, even when half the women were younger than me.

It could be awkward at times, especially with family pressure, but to be honest I really enjoyed being single, and I'm glad I waited as long as I did. I definitely wasn't the type to settle-- I don't think anyone should!

Of course, now that I'm married, the pressure to have kids is starting up.... pretty much all my friends already have kids or are trying. Seems like I'm always a step behind everyone else!

Anyway, enjoy being single and be proud that you haven't felt the need to settle!

 

[scrump]

I also never had dreams of getting married even into my 20s, but ended up meeting the right guy and married him. It just felt right. I also fully envisioned a non-married life as just as fulfilling, and was prepared to take that journey as well.

I think if marriage is for you, and you choose the right person, it can be the best decision you ever make.

I think if marriage is not for you, and you choose to stay single, it can be the best decision you ever make.

But I also second the whole "it happens when you're not looking." I, too, was not looking. In fact, my job was pretty consuming so I didn't want to date at the workplace, I felt that having my work and personal life center around the job was not a good idea. So what happens? I fell for a coworker. We dated secretly for a couple of years and then got married.

 

[LadyyRedd]

I'm also almost 31, single and happy! I like the thought of being married, but I know that I'm happy with myself and if I never get married, I'm ok with that! I don't want kids, so I don't feel that biological clock ticking that makes me feel like I HAVE to get married.

I own my own house, have a great job, and travel all I want. My 3 closest friends are also not married, but the rest of my extended friends are.

Kimya