Since when are the opposite sex allowed in non co-ed fitting rooms?

[Planogirl]

I know the OP posted that she personally experienced men being in the ladies' fitting room in a number of stores, but has everyone else experienced this too? Or are most of the posters just discussing hypotheticals? I have to say this spring I took my DD prom dress shopping as well, we must have gone to at least 10 stores and I NEVER saw a man in the fitting room. The stores were in various malls, shopping centers, free-standing, etc. Do I just not get out enough? (quite possible!) I just never realized this was such a big problem
FTR, my DH does not come shopping with me and it has worked out well that way for 24 wonderful years!!

I rarely try on clothes because I hate it but I do occasionally and I once saw a man in a Kohls ladies dressing room. It was distracting to me because they were right next door talking in loud voices about whether his SO looked sexy in something or not and I could see his big feet at the bottom of the wall. (I do not listen to people but this guy was loud!) I didn't really mind it that much but I have seen ladies in all forms of dress and undress checking things out in the big common mirrors and it would be freaky to have him there suddenly. JMO.

Bicker, I guess that Ladies Dressing Room to me implies 'for ladies'. I never got the sense that it meant for ladies and their friends and family (and maybe dogs ) and so on. But maybe the stores do need to set some guidelines or even have separate dressing rooms for the more modest since most stores have more than one set of dressing rooms.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It the signs say LADIES ONLY then I suppose that is what it should be....and it works the opposite as well. So if you want males out of the females stay out of any that are MEN ONLY!

However....As a guy....

I've been in mens departments before and females (likely mom's of teen boys or girlfriends) have either been in the stalls or hanging right out side of the doors. It never bothered me and didn't give it a 2nd thought.

There are doors in the stall, and really unless the doors are crazy loose you're not going to see anything, even if someone is standing outside of the door. If someone is holding a camera phone under the door, then that's another issue....

Who cares if you look like @#$! in the dress and we see you in it. I don't know you from anyone and likley will never see you again so who cares if I see you in it??

As far as bra straps and the like....? Again, it's a bra strap....we've all seen them before and know you likely wear one. It wouldn't even get a second thought or glance if I saw that sticking out as part of your outfit....now if it were all you had on, I may notice!

See now I care how I look in something. I do not want to parade in front of strange men while I am trying on clothes. I am not a Victoria's Secret model so I shouldn't have to. As for the bra straps- well as a nursing Mom I do not take my bra off to try on an evening gown etc. and you would be seeing more than just a strap- nothing horribly scandalous but more than I would show someone other than my husband. If the sign says LADIES then unless you have an inny and not an outie you need to wait outside. Sorry but you do not belong there.

 

[bicker]

It never bothered me and didn't give it a 2nd thought.

What's really important about that scenario, regardless of whether you or any man cares, is setting a consistent standard. If one dressing room is gender-specific, then they all are -- or neither are.

Beyond that, folks who want dressing rooms to be gender-specific, when they're using them for themselves, should be consistent in their own actions, i.e., staying out of the other gender's dressing rooms.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

What's really important about that scenario, regardless of whether you or any man cares, is setting a consistent standard. If one dressing room is gender-specific, then they all are -- or neither are.

Beyond that, folks who want dressing rooms to be gender-specific, when they're using them for themselves, should be consistent in their own actions, i.e., staying out of the other gender's dressing rooms.

Well I can tell you that I have never gone in a men's fitting room. My DH can button his own pants. When he wants to show me his outfit he comes out of the fitting room and shows me.

 

[bicker]

Bicker, I guess that Ladies Dressing Room to me implies 'for ladies'.

Clearly, despite the fact that you and I agree about it, reasonable people disagree with us. I think clear signs aren't an unreasonable expected precursor to impuning folks allegedly transgressing. (In other words, we can't legitimately tell them that they're doing something wrong, unless there is a clear sign.)

 

[Planogirl]

Clearly, despite the fact that you and I agree about it, reasonable people disagree with us. I think clear signs aren't an unreasonable expected precursor to impuning folks allegedly transgressing. (In other words, we can't legitimately tell them that they're doing something wrong, unless there is a clear sign.)

There is that trend to spell everything out nowadays isn't there?

 

[bicker]

Well I can tell you that I have never gone in a men's fitting room. My DH can button his own pants. When he wants to show me his outfit he comes out of the fitting room and shows me.

I believe the relevant scenario someone raised earlier was mothers going into the men's dressing room to see how clothes look on their pre-teen and teen children.

 

[bicker]

There is that trend to spell everything out nowadays isn't there?

"The coffee you are about to enjoy is HOT!"

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I believe the relevant scenario someone raised earlier was mothers going into the men's dressing room to see how clothes look on their pre-teen and teen children.

I can understand then. I still think the teen can put the clothes on ans come out to show Mom. Or just have Dad take them if there is a Dad in the picture.

 

[bicker]

(I said pre-teen and teen, not just teen.)

Mothers of pre-teen boys, please chime in here.

 

[FINFAN]

TO Allison443...no, prior to the prom incident I have not encountered males inside the fitting rooms. That is why it surprised us. However, since it happened at almost every store we went to that day...it was rather unsettling and we thought, have the rules changes and we didn't get the memo? Then at another mall on the same day, yet another guy in the fitting room. THEN weeks later when I was on my own, the bathing suit situation. So all in all for me, 2 days with 7 different incidents. Again, I know it was Prom season and apparently the guys are along with the girls now, but again, stay outside the room. There were even 2 couples in the one store...come on...the girls are wrong if they asked the guys to go in, the guys are wrong for going in and the stores are wrong for not having an attendant there to monitor. And another thing...my DH was livid when he heard...he has told DD if she encounters such a thing out shopping on her own, to tell the clerk. If the clerk doesn't do anything to ask for security. Cell phone images have been taken of unsuspecting shoppers, you are in a blocked off area where no one may see/ hear anything going on...and what about the younger crowd...like the 7 year old twins? Should they have to be subjected to a strange man in a fitting room with them? NO WAY! Their dad should be able to wait right outside and not have to worry about some strange guy in a closed off area with his daughters. Right off the bat, anyone who is blatantly breaking the rules of privacy raises a flag to me. I don't care if I may never see that individual again, it is the fitting room patrons right to not have him see HER! ( or him if it the men's fitting room)

 

[HoneyBee06]

Well, while I think bra straps hanging out of every day clothes is trashy, I can't see the big deal about it when trying on clothes. Men KNOW you wear a bra. It's not like it's a big secret and it's not like your ****s are hanging out. And who cares if you look yucky in a dress you are trying on? Are you trying to impress strangers in the dressing room.

As for your comment about this being the USA and this is how we roll. No, that is how YOU roll.

Exactly. It's NOT how I roll either. I am thankfully not the type to get upset or stressed about silly little things like men hanging out in a dressing room. I mean...it's not like they are looking at me. I'd hate to live my life to uptight that I'd be worried about such things...haha.

 

[daisax]

I can understand then. I still think the teen can put the clothes on ans come out to show Mom. Or just have Dad take them if there is a Dad in the picture.

That's how we did it back in the day. When they're young enough that mom needs to physically dress them, Mom's with them in the ladies' dressing room (no matter the sex of the child). If it's Dad, take the kids to the men's dressing room. Once they're old enough to dress themselves, Mom (or Dad) waits outside and gives the thumbs up or down on each outfit in turn. With a same sex parent, the adult can linger within the dressing room down towards the more open area (where the 3 way mirror traditionally stands). In the case of the opposite sex parent, the kid can walk to the doorway where the parent can have a look.

Preserves modesty for the modest, space for busy dressing rooms, and those who consider shopping a communal experience can still share it.

 

[HoneyBee06]

So because it's your "experience", that's how it is? I have a teenage DD, so I KNOW how it is and I know how she and her friends are. They do NOT dress scantily at all. They are young girls who are very self conscious and would not be comfortable with a man in the dressing room. They NEED to come out of the stall if they want to use the three way mirror in most stores because there is not one in the individual dressing room.

I don't think it's asking too much for the men to stay out, it's as simple as that. If they really need to see what you are trying on, you should step out of the dressing area for them to see.

When I was a teen, I was self conscious and modest. But I still didn't care if someone's husband or boyfriend was hanging out in the dressing room. They aren't looking at me. They are looking at their wife/girlfriend.

 

[KAMLEM]

As far as bra straps and the like....? Again, it's a bra strap....we've all seen them before and know you likely wear one. It wouldn't even get a second thought or glance if I saw that sticking out as part of your outfit....now if it were all you had on, I may notice!

The issue is not what YOU think, though. The issue is that the person trying on the clothes is not comfortable with you there, period.

I'm surprised it took so long for the camera issue to come up. That's just one more thing to worry about.

Everything I have posted in this thread is really from my daughter's perspective. Personally, I would not be too bothered if a guy was there as long as there were doors that close all the way in the stalls, but I know that my daughter is not comfortable which means that there are other women out there that are not comfortable. That's why I have taken the position that if it's a LADIES fitting room, only LADIES shoud be in there (and vice versa for the MEN).

 

[HoneyBee06]

[/B]

Snippy snippy! I was making a broad statement about what is most common here. Notice the smiling smilie? Bicker- thanks for pointing out that MD was a part of the US! I had no idea! Stupid me!

Now to respond to your bra scenario. Men know I wear underwear too but that doesn't mean they need to see them if the outfit I am trying on is too tight/loose either. There are a ton of reasons why a man should not be in a woman's dressing room. I am not trying to impress an strange man but I don't think I need to have to worry about them being in a place that says "Ladies". Again- people have a breakdown if a 7 year old is in the ladies room with their Mom but think it is okay to hve strange men in a dressing room? Yeah- I don't get that but I suppose I am just dumb (at least according to some.)

I didn't read that post. Who thinks it's okay for strange men but not okay for a 7 year old boy?

I can understand how having grown men in the room could be uncomfortable for some (although it's not for me.) But I do not understand the people that think a 7 year old should be in the dressing room with his mom. Nor do I understand the people that it's wrong for a parent to bring their child different sizes into the dressing room.

 

[KAMLEM]

When I was a teen, I was self conscious and modest. But I still didn't care if someone's husband or boyfriend was hanging out in the dressing room. They aren't looking at me. They are looking at their wife/girlfriend.

That's fine for you, but not everyone feels like that.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Exactly. It's NOT how I roll either. I am thankfully not the type to get upset or stressed about silly little things like men hanging out in a dressing room. I mean...it's not like they are looking at me. I'd hate to live my life to uptight that I'd be worried about such things...haha.

Well then I guess I am uptight that I don't want strange men in a room designated for Ladies where you have to get undressed. Whatever!

 

[Castlebound]

At the JC Penney's that we shop at most of the time there are no signs that say if it is a women's, men's, or children's dressing room. Yes the dressing rooms are all in those departments but they don't have any signs saying, "Women only! Men and children keep out!". My DH and my children wait outside of the dressing room entrance. Apparently for at least one person on this thread the fact that they even wait by the entrance is wrong. We shop together as a family most of the time, because it makes the most sense for us. Maybe some of you haven't noticed but gas is expensive. So when the kids need new clothes for spring or fall DH and I usually get anything we might need or want at the time. My DH and I like to shop together. In general we like doing most things together. DH will tell me truthfully if something looks good or not. He has never gone into the dressing room area but I have seen other men in the dressing room common area outside of the stalls and have never given it much thought. DH doesn't go in because he doesn't want to see too much of the other women. So all of you ladies worried about some strange man ogling you can breath easier. They REALLY don't want to see you!

I have however sat in the "men's" dressing room. In the suit area they have a large dressing room with several chairs that you can see from the entrance. When my kids were much smaller I was waiting outside of the dressing room for DH to come out. An older gentleman who worked in the dept. told me that their were chairs in the dressing room that I could sit in. I told him that I didn't feel right about doing that because it was the men's dressing room. He told me that it was the suit dept. dressing room not the men's and that anyone could use it. He also said that women sit in there all the time because many men want their wife's opinion on how the suit should look. The store put the chairs there because finding the right suit could take a lot of time and they wanted WOMEN to be more comfortable.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I didn't read that post. Who thinks it's okay for strange men but not okay for a 7 year old boy?

I can understand how having grown men in the room could be uncomfortable for some (although it's not for me.) But I do not understand the people that think a 7 year old should be in the dressing room with his mom. Nor do I understand the people that it's wrong for a parent to bring their child different sizes into the dressing room.

I wasn't saying a 7 year old boy shouldn't be in the dressing room with his Mom (no problem with that) I was referring to the bazillion threads on here that complain about young boys in a Ladies bathroom. People get all bent out of shape with that and you do not come out of your stall halfway through or asking for help there like you would in a dressing room. FTR- I don't have any problem with another sex using the stall next to me in a bathroom since when I am done with my business I will exit the stall and not before. However, in a dressing room often times a young girl or woman will step out and ask for help zipping etc. I just don't think a grown man belongs there.