Since when are the opposite sex allowed in non co-ed fitting rooms?

[bicker]

but then, I am naive like that, I guess

Not naive, no -- just European, where people are simply more relaxed about these concerns.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Not naive, no -- just European, where people are simply more relaxed about these concerns.

I agree!
Imagine if this thread was about taking your pre-teen boy into the ladies fitting room? I bet there wouldn't be anyone saying that they just "love to shop together!"

 

[bicker]

What I think has got to be frustrating is that no matter what points people think they might be making in this thread, it doesn't directly change anything. People will do what they will do, and will feel that they are right in doing so, even if you feel that you've made a compelling argument to the contrary. We're having another discussion, on a completely different discussion board, about copyright protection with respect to DVDs. There, there are actual "rules posted at the door" which some people gleefully ignore despite the overwhelmingly compelling arguments that they "shouldn't" copy friend's DVDs, etc.

So does that mean we shouldn't have these discussions? No. The hope, I suspect, is that the discussion itself will affect the people on the margins -- those who are unsure of what is the proper perspective and indeed using a discussion like this to seek the rational perspective that they themselves should subscribe to. We can only hope that we can influence at least some of those folks to adopt our perspective (in my case, "follow the posted rules").

 

[wishspirit]

The problem is that you are trying clothes on. Your bra straps are hanging out, perhaps you can't get it zippered all the way, you look yucky in the dress, etc. and you step out of the stall for a little help and now someone's husband or boyfriend is there. As an adult I would feel uncomfortable. As a teen girl I would have been mortified. If a store allowed this I would not buy anything from them. As for the Europe argument- well- we are not in Europe so that is not even a consideration. We are in the USA and this is how we roll here.

Maybe me being Europian as well, but i really dont see the fuss about a bra strap or not being able to do something up completly. As long as your covered in vital areas, its fine. I certainly would not be upset if a random guy saw that, i mean heck, im probably never going to see him again! If a dress is 'yucky' i dont leave the stall, simple as that! I don't like changing rooms without stalls, and if they aren't maintained well (so people can see round curtains etc) then i might feel uncomfortable, but then its my decision to buy something in there.

Why do you need to leave the stall anyway? There are mirrors in there, so unless you are showing something to someone, it doesnt really matter.

To be honest its the 'teenage girls' that are the worst here for walking around skantily clad, so from my experience its not them who get offeneded.

However, i do not allow my boyfriend into the changing room, just the same as if i go shopping with him. We sit outside and wait for them to change and come to us, so others are happy.

If you don't like it, leave or tell a member of staff.

 

[FINFAN]

We DID leave. We DID tell staff. When I went back (to one of the stores I had informed of the mis -use of fitting room rules)for another item weeks later for myself, I walked into the ladies fitting room at a department store to try on a dress for a bridal shower. Not a unisex fitting room, but htere was a guy spread out laying on the floor telling his GF or whoever, that she needs to try the bikini back on. I said, you are not allowed in here, got a blank stare. I called out to the girl in the stall and said that her male friend was not allowed in there. I got a response of a giggle and then silence, so I and left. I told the clerk about this and left the store. Matter of fact, the swim suit area was across the store from the dresses, so why were they in that one? More than likely becasue they KNEW that he was not alloweed and used a more out of the way fitting room. I had an item that I found for my needs, hopefully and needed to try it on to make sure from all angles it was going to be nice. So I would have needed to step out of the stall to the 3 way mirror, passing the guy spread across the floor. If you read my first post, there are 5 department stores that carry nicer items/ dresses that we shop at. We encountered a male(s) at ALL of them when DD was dress shopping. She is petite and needs a 3 way mirror and platform to check length etc. Those mirrors are NOT in the stalls. At least at our stores. Special occasion dresses are NOT returnable at many of our stores. You have to decide there, so making sure it is right is pretty much a decision made in the fitting room. I realized it was Prom so figured that was why boys were along, However, we saw men of ALL ages in those rooms. So it is a general breaking of the rules across the board. NOt a certain age group. By the way, my DD does not walk around "scantily clad". and in OUR case it was her and I who were offended. We were not the rule breakers, yet we left as the patrons nor the clerk did anything about our concerns. That was bad enough and frustrating. Believe me, if gas were not so high, we would travel the 20 miles to another mall.
So teens have less privacy rights than other folks?
I would deal with it in Europe as that is the way" there.That is the whole point. Follow the rules of the place you are in. Bicker is right. Hopefully some of this discussion will open the eyes to those who are taking liberty and not following rules. Especially when it comes to privacy. Again, if you want mixed company in the fitting rooms, shop in unisex fitting room stores, and follow the rules in the single sex ones.
Mods, please feel free to lock this...it is not heading anywhere helpful.

 

[ilisao]

The problem is that you are trying clothes on. Your bra straps are hanging out, perhaps you can't get it zippered all the way, you look yucky in the dress, etc. and you step out of the stall for a little help and now someone's husband or boyfriend is there. As an adult I would feel uncomfortable. As a teen girl I would have been mortified. If a store allowed this I would not buy anything from them. As for the Europe argument- well- we are not in Europe so that is not even a consideration. We are in the USA and this is how we roll here.

Well, while I think bra straps hanging out of every day clothes is trashy, I can't see the big deal about it when trying on clothes. Men KNOW you wear a bra. It's not like it's a big secret and it's not like your ****s are hanging out. And who cares if you look yucky in a dress you are trying on? Are you trying to impress strangers in the dressing room.

As for your comment about this being the USA and this is how we roll. No, that is how YOU roll.

 

[KAMLEM]

To be honest its the 'teenage girls' that are the worst here for walking around skantily clad, so from my experience its not them who get offeneded.

So because it's your "experience", that's how it is? I have a teenage DD, so I KNOW how it is and I know how she and her friends are. They do NOT dress scantily at all. They are young girls who are very self conscious and would not be comfortable with a man in the dressing room. They NEED to come out of the stall if they want to use the three way mirror in most stores because there is not one in the individual dressing room.

I don't think it's asking too much for the men to stay out, it's as simple as that. If they really need to see what you are trying on, you should step out of the dressing area for them to see.

 

[bicker]

As for your comment about this being the USA and this is how we roll. No, that is how YOU roll.

Good point: Last time I checked, Maryland was part of the United States. Seriously, I think it really does come back to the store. If the sign says "women only" then that's that. If there no sign, or the sign isn't a restriction, then folks should be prepared for either circumstance, and those who feel strongly, should patronize only those stores that post and enforce a stringent restriction, if there are any such stores.

 

[GJM]

I delivered my DS about 8 years ago in NJ - they really don't have private rooms if they have any available you have to pay extra. They encouraged my DH to NOT stay, he could of if he wanted to but the nurses try to not have the DH stay so everyone can get a good night sleep. I didn't bother me, why should my DH sleep on some pull out chair when he could go home get a good night sleep and come back the next day.

Does anyone really think if a man is waiting for his wife or girlfriend and someone comes out with a bra strap hanging out that the men really care - I am thinking no. Most dressing rooms I go in now have 2 or 3 mirrors so why do you even have to come out and look in another mirror.

I just don't see what the big deal is, most dressing rooms I have gone to have full doors that close and lock, if a man is in the next dressing room I don't care.

 

[KAMLEM]

I just don't see what the big deal is, most dressing rooms I have gone to have full doors that close and lock, if a man is in the next dressing room I don't care.

The point is that some people DO care.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well, while I think bra straps hanging out of every day clothes is trashy, I can't see the big deal about it when trying on clothes. Men KNOW you wear a bra. It's not like it's a big secret and it's not like your ****s are hanging out. And who cares if you look yucky in a dress you are trying on? Are you trying to impress strangers in the dressing room.

As for your comment about this being the USA and this is how we roll. No, that is how YOU roll.

Snippy snippy! I was making a broad statement about what is most common here. Notice the smiling smilie? Bicker- thanks for pointing out that MD was a part of the US! I had no idea! Stupid me!

Now to respond to your bra scenario. Men know I wear underwear too but that doesn't mean they need to see them if the outfit I am trying on is too tight/loose either. There are a ton of reasons why a man should not be in a woman's dressing room. I am not trying to impress an strange man but I don't think I need to have to worry about them being in a place that says "Ladies". Again- people have a breakdown if a 7 year old is in the ladies room with their Mom but think it is okay to hve strange men in a dressing room? Yeah- I don't get that but I suppose I am just dumb (at least according to some.)

 

[Planogirl]

I keep wondering why some people are against the concept of privacy? Some people just plain aren't comfortable with your boyfriend or husband hanging around. Since the dressing rooms were created for the ladies and not your boyfriend or husband, I would think that the ladies' feelings would take priority.

 

[FINFAN]

EXACTLY!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I keep wondering why some people are against the concept of privacy? Some people just plain aren't comfortable with your boyfriend or husband hanging around. Since the dressing rooms were created for the ladies and not your boyfriend or husband, I would think that the ladies' feelings would take priority.

 

[KAMLEM]

I keep wondering why some people are against the concept of privacy? Some people just plain aren't comfortable with your boyfriend or husband hanging around. Since the dressing rooms were created for the ladies and not your boyfriend or husband, I would think that the ladies' feelings would take priority.

And that sums it up in a nutshell! Is it that difficult to understand?

 

[bicker]

I keep wondering why some people are against the concept of privacy?

Well, to be fair, I didn't get the impression that anyone was "against the concept of privacy". Rather, I see people expressing the idea that there is a balance that needs to be struck between the disparate and conflicting desires of different people. We have folks here desiring that those men be there, and we have folks here desiring that those men not be there. Diametrically oppositional desires.

I would think that the ladies' feelings would take priority.

Well that's the whole question, here, isn't it? Without a definite restriction, it is subject to interpretation by each person, individually. I stay outside the women's dressing rooms because of how I interpret the situation, but I don't think it serves a good purpose to impune the folks who interpret things differently and go into the dressing rooms to "help". Reasonable people can disagree. Sucks, sometimes, but there it is.

And that sums it up in a nutshell! Is it that difficult to understand?

I figure that suggesting that people don't understand, when they simply disagree with you, is missing the point, eh?


In the end, I think the "impuning" that needs to go on needs to be directed at the stores who don't post clear requirements. And, of course, directed at those who ignore such clear requirements when such are posted.

 

[allison443]

I know the OP posted that she personally experienced men being in the ladies' fitting room in a number of stores, but has everyone else experienced this too? Or are most of the posters just discussing hypotheticals? I have to say this spring I took my DD prom dress shopping as well, we must have gone to at least 10 stores and I NEVER saw a man in the fitting room. The stores were in various malls, shopping centers, free-standing, etc. Do I just not get out enough? (quite possible!) I just never realized this was such a big problem
FTR, my DH does not come shopping with me and it has worked out well that way for 24 wonderful years!!

 

[bicker]

I've never seen a guy go into the women's dressing rooms while my wife was in there.

I have seen women go into the men's dressing rooms, though.

So I suspect that women are the primary transgressors in this scenario.

 

[ICF]

It the signs say LADIES ONLY then I suppose that is what it should be....and it works the opposite as well. So if you want males out of the females stay out of any that are MEN ONLY!

However....As a guy....

I've been in mens departments before and females (likely mom's of teen boys or girlfriends) have either been in the stalls or hanging right out side of the doors. It never bothered me and didn't give it a 2nd thought.

There are doors in the stall, and really unless the doors are crazy loose you're not going to see anything, even if someone is standing outside of the door. If someone is holding a camera phone under the door, then that's another issue....

Who cares if you look like @#$! in the dress and we see you in it. I don't know you from anyone and likley will never see you again so who cares if I see you in it??

As far as bra straps and the like....? Again, it's a bra strap....we've all seen them before and know you likely wear one. It wouldn't even get a second thought or glance if I saw that sticking out as part of your outfit....now if it were all you had on, I may notice!

 

[noodleknitter]

I keep wondering why some people are against the concept of privacy? Some people just plain aren't comfortable with your boyfriend or husband hanging around. Since the dressing rooms were created for the ladies and not your boyfriend or husband, I would think that the ladies' feelings would take priority.

You are far too logical for this thread!