Sibling rivalry - what do you think of this

[mom2boys]

My boys normally get along pretty well - or at least they did until just recently. This morning before school it was like a war zone here. I can't and won't take it any longer. I am thinking of making them each tell the other 3 things that he likes/admires about the other one at dinner tonight. They are 8.5 & 10 (3rd & 4th grade).
Anyone tried something like this?
How did it turn out?
Any other suggestions?

 

[Cindy'sCastle]

I haven't tried it. I usually make them hug and give them the guilt trip about how they are lucky to have each other,etc,etc. But my preacher said he started doing that at the dinner table, everyone takes turns saying something nice about someone in the family. He says its working out pretty good now.

 

[rascalmom]

A few years ago my dd's (now 16 & 12) were going through a phase of fghting with each other way too much. Some where I read the ideas of imposing little "fines" each time a fight started up. So I made up a "bicker bag" from a large clear Ziploc and attached it with magnets to the fridge. Everytime the disharmony became overly apparent to Mom & Dad, a fine of $1 was charged to each girl. They were soon depleting their allowance funds and learned to more appropriately work through disagreements (we had a lot of discussions about this and my dh & I made a point of having conversations where we didn't agree and made an example of working something out without fighting). The money went towards something fun at a trip to WDW. It definitely worked for my girls.

P.S. Edited to say "Good Luck"! (and if all else fails, duck!)

 

[buddy&wooz]

For awhile my two oldest would fight everytime they were in the same room! I finally started punishing both of them equally no matter who was at fault (usually they lost priviledges like video game or computer time.) After they realized I was serious the fights definitely slowed down to a trickle. Now they get along much better, not best friends but they tolerate each other, I'm happy with that compared to what used to be!

 

[mickeyboat]

What about when they are little?

My DD's 3 and 4 don't fight with each other constantly, but they do fight each other for our attention. They are the most perfect little girls when we have them one-on-one but they act up and fight when we are all together. We actually had to separate them when we were on our cruise because we couldn't take it anymore. Anyone have experience with little ones?

Denae

 

[CEDmom]

Honestly unless physical harm is being done I'd tell them to take their bickering elsewhere but stay out of it beyond that. At that age I think I'd almost rather have poked my eyes out than said anything nice about one of my brothers. Now that we're all grown we really enjoy spending time together.

 

[eeyoreforever]

I have used several approaches with my dd's (9 and 11). Sometimes I don't allow them to talk to each other when they are fighting. You would think they would love this, but usually after about 10 minutes, they are begging to talk to each other and are back to being nice.

Other times, I have made them hug each other. I don't mean just hug and go on. They have to embrace each other and hold on and tell each other "I love you". They always end up giggling and going off to play.

Its always a comfort to hear how other children fight so you know youre not alone.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

I have done it with great results. Whenever my 2 oldest (4 & 7) start to really go at it, I call a family meeting. We sit in a circle and go around and have t o say something nice about each person. Sometimes its just I like her shoes, but sometimes it gets really deep, like I like the way she smiles when I get home from school, ot I like when she hugs me I know it sounds corny, but it really is therapeutic for all of us. They also say what they like about me and their dad. Its a nice break from bickering.

 

[mom2boys]

Thank goodness we had a peaceful evening
One the way home from school I told them to think about three nice things about the other to share at dinner. Well, my youngest started spouting his brother's praises immediately. They got along all evening. I was a bit worried when the karate instructor had them spar against each other. The younger one got angry - he doesn't even attempt to hide it. But as soon as the sparring ended, he showed his respects to his brother & gave him a high five. (This is required of both partners after sparring.) He did it like a good sport & forgot his anger. At dinner both shared good thoughts about the other - mainly how they like to play with each other.
We'll see how it goes in the morning - that seems to be when they bicker the most.