Shower gift? Am I overreacting?

[fakereadhed]

P.S farereadhed I love your avatar.

Thanks! I have been told it looks "creepy".

 

[Handbag Lady]

DH thinks I'm out of line with my reaction to sort of a shower gift reqest that I got in the mail today from a relative. What do you think?

Handwritten note from relative expecting first child in another state with a registry card inside for babysRus:

Sorry you can't make it to my shower. (never was invited) Know I am thinking of you! My due date is______ and that date is coming quickly.

Love,
Rude Relative



First of all, I think it's rude to not send us an invitation in the first place. Second, it's rude to send out a registry card unless I asked her what she wanted. Third, she never speaks to us or visits and that is why she had to tell us her due date. I told DH that she is the height of rudeness and there is no way I'm sending her anything! What wouold you do?

I wouldn't do anything. It is a gift grab and she's very rude. She's not thinking of you. She's thinking of what you will send.

 

[apnep]

First of all, I think it's rude to not send us an invitation in the first place. Second, it's rude to send out a registry card unless I asked her what she wanted. Third, she never speaks to us or visits and that is why she had to tell us her due date. I told DH that she is the height of rudeness and there is no way I'm sending her anything! What wouold you do?

Say, "Good for you" to myself, throw it in the trash, and be on my way.

Ang

 

[gina2000]

How does she know you can't come? Is she clairvoyent? Under normal circumstances, if you received an invitation, you would have responded. The original invitation was where the gift registry information would have been included. And you would have had the registry information had an invitation been sent.

So it's pretty obvious she sent you a not-so-subtle reminder that she expects a gift and where the gift should come from. Interesting that she doesn't even have the common courtesy to send you an invitation that you could respond to but can manage to remind you that she expects a gift.

I'd send her a congrats card and be done with it. Had she sent me a formal invitation, I would have sent a gift with my regrets. This blatant gift gouging reminder is inappropriate.

 

[tigger51276]

There was no invitation. She assumed that I couldn't attend because I lived in another state. That's why I felt it was a gift request. If she had sent a shower invite, I could have declined and then would have sent a gift. I am thinking I will send diapers for the baby.

I find the perfume request very odd unless she is planning to live in a bubble, but I guess if it is a health risk it's ok to ask.

Considering what you've said about the girls mother, I wouldn't be surprised if she is the one who sent you that "sorry you can't make it, but send my daughter a present anyway" note. I know that when I had my baby shower for DD6 I had nothing really to do with the invites and responses, my family did it all. Personally I'd send a congrats card and mention in the note that she should keep you updated on her pregnancy so that when she has the baby you can send him/her an appropriate gift. If you send a gift now, I can guarantee that when the baby comes you are so going to get hit up for yet another present. I know lots of people like that!

 

[ShelsGoingToDisney]

This girl is beyond rude!

How about sending her a nice thank you card stationary set with some stamps! Make sure to self address one of the envelopes to yourself!