Should we "Tattle On" Step-Grandson?

[Chattyaholic]

DH and I went out for breakfast this morning, we came home and step-grandson was in the yard playing (our DS and his family live right next door to us) and when he saw us come home he ran right over. After he went back to play, DH noticed one of our doors was ajar. Got to investigating and THREE outside doors were ajar. One could be a coincidence, but THREE???
We think he must have come inside looking for us. Should we tell DS about it? We don't keep our doors locked, but maybe we're going to have to start. We really don't want him in here wandering around when we're gone. He's only 4, lots of trouble he could get into and possibly hurt himself too. We don't want him to "get in trouble" for coming in our house while we're gone, but we don't want it happening again either. What to do?

 

[MushyMushy]

He's only 4 and his parents let him go outside without supervision???

Holy cow!

Yes, I'd definitely say something.

 

[poohandwendy]

He's only 4 and his parents let him go outside without supervision???

Holy cow!

Yes, I'd definitely say something.

That is what I was thinking. I think I would talk to his parents because they are leaving him unattended. If he had time to wander around your house, he had time to do things that were much more dangerous. He is 4, he cannot be expected to watch himself.

 

[kejoda]

Is he allowed to come over by himself? I would let your SDS know that he was over. He just needs someone to remind him to knock and if no answer to go back home. That is if he is allowed to come over by himself.

And its always a good idea to lock the doors when you leave.

 

[CEDmom]

Can't you talk to the child yourself? Explain that he's not allowed in your house if you're not home. I'd also talk with your son as well. But aside from that start locking your doors. I know this was the topic of another thread a few weeks ago but honestly why leave them open like that? It's just inviting trouble.

 

[4nana]

Definitely!

 

[Feralpeg]

It is hard for many people to imagine living in an area where you don't need to lock the doors when you leave. I know it was like that when we lived in Iowa. I would never dream of doing such a thing where I live now.

It is also hard for people to understand that there are areas where people do let smaller children out to play by themselves. We always did it. In fact, when I was 7 or 8, I'd be gone for hours. My mom never worried about it. Of course, these are different times.

I agree with the previous posters. I'd tell your son so they can teach your step-grandson that it is not polite to enter someones home when they are not there. Better to be safe than sorry.

 

[Hannathy]

First I would be sure it was him that tried your doors, I also live in a very safe place but it could have been someone else. I also agree with talking to him yourself, then casually mention it to your son later.

I see nothing wrong with letting a 4 year old out in his yard by himself. In our neighborhood 3 yr olds are out in their yards alone. I certainly didn't watch my 4 yr old son constantly when he was out for hours playing either in our yard or 2 doors down in his friends yard. And he is only 7 now so it wasn't long ago.

 

[golfgal]

Knowing kids he would probably listen to you better then he would to mom and dad. I would just tell him that he needs to knock and if no one answers to go back home because that is the polite thing to do. I wouldn't indicate you are mad or anything, he is only 4 and probably doesn't understand that it is wrong (do his parents just walk in when they come over?).

We also lived in a safe place where kids could be outside, even at age 4. Our old neighborhood had about 20 kids ranging in age from 3-15 and they all were outside running around playing games all day long, all summer long. If they happened to be in your yard at lunch time, you fed the crew.

 

[MAKmom]

Yes I would tattle on his parents. They should know where he is. He should also tell his parents if he is going over your house. Which he may have.

 

[sameyeyam]

I would be careful about tattling on the kid. I have a very well meaning aunt that once told my mom she seen me smoking a cigarette at lunch (I was in high school).

What I was actually doing was walking away from the local hamburger joint and eating a french fry!! She mistook the french fry for a cigarette.

Suffice to say everyone believed my aunt and no one believed me. Didn't matter that I didn't smoke nor did any of my friends. But it really caused quite a stink within our family.

So I would ask your grandson directly if he went into the house before telling on him.

 

[I Love Pluto]

Lock your doors. What iif it wasn't your grandson?

 

[Ub_Iwerks]

Ask your sgs if it was him who was in the house. If it was talk to both him and his parents about it. Either way, lock your doors when you're gone. Since he is used to coming over to your house, he probably will try it again.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm shocked that some of you think it's okay for 4-year olds to play outside by themselves! I live in a small town that's as safe as it comes, but there is no way on earth I'd trust a small child's judgement not to wander off or get into trouble -- the OP's SGS is proof of that! Don't some of you people watch Rugrats for crying out loud??? (kidding! )

I'm far from being an overprotective parent too.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I'm shocked that some of you think it's okay for 4-year olds to play outside by themselves! I live in a small town that's as safe as it comes, but there is no way on earth I'd trust a small child's judgement not to wander off or get into trouble -- the OP's SGS is proof of that! Don't some of you people watch Rugrats for crying out loud??? (kidding! )

I'm far from being an overprotective parent too.

ITA!!! Never in a million years would I let a four year old child play without supervision! I am also shocked that some people do. It doesn't matter how safe of a place you think you are in. When I was a child, I used to go out and play at 8 or so, but that was a long time ago. I wouldn't let my sons wander the neighborhood when they were 8. But four??? I believe the parent should know where a four yr old child is at all times.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You should say something because it is a matter of safety. Parents cannot protect their children if they don't know what is going on.

 

[golfgal]

ITA!!! Never in a million years would I let a four year old child play without supervision! I am also shocked that some people do. It doesn't matter how safe of a place you think you are in. When I was a child, I used to go out and play at 8 or so, but that was a long time ago. I wouldn't let my sons wander the neighborhood when they were 8. But four??? I believe the parent should know where a four yr old child is at all times.

I knew where my 4 year olds were at all times, they were running around the neighborhood (a cul-de-sack) with the rest of the neighborhood kids.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

What I was actually doing was walking away from the local hamburger joint and eating a french fry!! She mistook the french fry for a cigarette.

OK, where is the Tag Fairy now that we really need her! I think "smoked a french fry in high school" would make a great tag.

As to the 4yo--I can't imagine letting a 4yo play outside unsupervised anywhere for long enough for him to go checking doors next door! It's obviously not a house in the country away from everyone for there to be a house next door. I think it's an issue with the parents.

I do let my 6yo play outside by himself, but I station myself in my dining room/living room where I can keep an eye on him. It may look to others like I'm not watching, but I am (not that they care--they aren't supervising their kids and have let them have the run of the neighborhood since they were his age ). Or he'll be out with his older brother.

And yes, I would lock my doors, especially if the 4yo might have access to the house. I wouldn't want to take the chance that the child would come into the house and get into something that he shouldn't (medication, dessert , etc).

 

[Chattyaholic]

As to the 4yo--I can't imagine letting a 4yo play outside unsupervised anywhere for long enough for him to go checking doors next door! It's obviously not a house in the country away from everyone for there to be a house next door. I think it's an issue with the parents.

Actually, we do live in the country. Let me explain about the house right next door. DH and I live in the farmhouse where he grew up. A couple years after we were married his parents built a smaller home right next door (a driveway and some lawn separate the two houses) and they moved into that, and we moved here in 1980.

Now our DS and his family live in the smaller house next door.

We did decide to talk to DS about the little one coming over. A few weeks ago I was in the kitchen washing dishes and I heard something in the family room. I went in there and it was step-grandson playing with toys! I politely told him that he shouldn't just walk into someone's house without being invited, and told him to go back outside and play. It may be confusing to him, because his mom rings the bell and waits for us to answer the door, but our DS just walks in, after all this is still his "home" and always will be.

The reason we decided to say something was because he could have gotten into something he shouldn't and possibly gotten hurt. So it was basically for his own safety that we did say something. We will be locking our doors from now on when we leave though.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree with everyone else.

I do not care if the area is as safe as Fort Knox.
A four year old does not need to be left unnattended!
I would simply hate for all of you to end up running all over looking for your grandson once everyone finally realizes he is not at the others house, and then to discover the worst.

PS: I would also lock my doors.