Should men be forced into fatherhood?

[Miss Jasmine]

If a man doesn't have a say in whether the pregnancy should continue then he should be able to terminate his parental rights. I have thought for a long time that making a man responsible for a child that he clearly did not want and had no intention of having is an abrogation of his civil rights.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

cold hearted is lying to become pregnant on purpose and then drawing on the father's income for 18 years.

Well it's still sad for that little baby not to get to have a dad to love them.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

if the women lies, it's out the window. a real man will step up like this guy is doing and fight for his rights. unfortunately, those rights don't exist right now, it's an unfair system weighted heavily in the favor of the woman. life isn't always fair, and I'm sure this kid is learning that lesson every day. if the mother lies and in order to trap the man, and he walks away, she's forced to confront that lesson as well by her own hand.

I have to disagree. I think a real man stands by his child, regardless of what kind of wench the mother is. I don't understand how someone could not love their own child, but I guess that is a different issue.

Before the invention of Child Support, it was an unfair system weighted in favor of men. They could father children and abandon them left and right. Now that they are financially tied to the kid (if not emotionally), they are raising holy hell.

The guy might have to shell out some cash, but the woman has to raise the child. Most of us know how hard it is financially and emotionally. I don't see one coming out ahead of the other.

I know that abortion is legal and all, but for some women it is just not an option.

Maybe now that both sides are forced to be responsible to some degree, there'll be less unwanted pregnancies.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

When men are the ones that carry and then birth the baby and suffer through all of the health problems and risks associated with that, then they can exert more control.

what an obtuse viewpoint.

 

[bamajill]

cold hearted is lying to become pregnant on purpose and then drawing on the father's income for 18 years.

And cold hearted is looking at nothing but the financial aspect. There's also going to be a child at the other end of this equation. This father might have the 'right' to walk away b/c the mom lied. But what kind of man would really do that? I have the right to do a lot of things that I simply don't do, because it just isn't for the best of my kids.

I can't remember for sure, but you have daughters, don't you? I hope they manage to stay away from men who think like you. Maybe they will, maybe they won't....but if one of them gets pregnant are you sure you will support the man's all important right to walk away from your daughter & grandchild and never look back?

With attitudes like this so prevalent, it's no wonder that so many children do live in need.

 

[gina2000]

It's amazing how many dunderheaded, foolhardy men must be out there to be lied to. Not one of them ever picked a trustworthy partner? Not one of them ever considered the consequences of their actions? This is a baby with their genetic imprint on it. This is a living, breathing being that was made in lust or love.

I guess we don't just need pre-nups in this world....we need prepassion papers......

 

[Sylvester McBean]

Well it's still sad for that little baby not to get to have a dad to love them.

yes it is, I agree completely. every child should have a strong family environment to grow up in, a loving father and mother. situations like this aren't going to produce that outcome. but if a woman wants a baby that badly, she should be prepared to raise it on her own.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

cold hearted is lying to become pregnant on purpose and then drawing on the father's income for 18 years.

You are...not wrong! Can't bring myself to say you are ri... Sylvester is rig... Nope, just doesn't roll off the tongue.

The mother absolutely deserves whatever she has to deal with. But why make the baby suffer?

And how do you legislate, "she lied!" Every loser guy would say it, even if it weren't true.

 

[AllyandJack]

what an obtuse viewpoint.

Wow....I guess your only response is a personal attack. If that's the route this thread is going, I'll just take my leave. Sad, really. I don't agree with you, but I'm not calling you stupid.

Later guys.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

The mother absolutely deserves whatever she has to deal with. But why make the baby suffer?

And how do you legislate, "she lied!" Every loser guy would say it, even if it weren't true.

you can't MW, it's intangible. it's a reason that I'm so frustrated with the topic. I've heard the phrase 'he got me pregnant' in casual conversations more times than I can count.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Now, if I were him I'd make darn sure that $500 a month is at least going towards taking care of the kid, and that mom isn't using it for herself

This point of view is frustrating to me. Unless the mom doesn't feed the kid or provide a bed then she's using the money. If I was a songle parent with one child it would cost me more then $500. to upgrade to a two bedroom place so the child would have a place to sleep, to buy diapers, formula, baby food, dr's visits, basic clothes even used, etc. It doesn't matter what a mom does with the child support check when it comes in. She will have to work to support the child and alot of the household money is in a sense used for the child.
Now, this changes I imagine for really big awards, say over $2000. per month. Then you want to know it is going for swimming lessons, summer camp, braces, prom dresses, etc. But at the low levels the money is for survival. On my own I could if I chose live in a one bedroom efficiency for %400. a month, spend $30. a week on groceries, do without health coverage, do without a car, etc. With a child I'm now spending at least $800. a month for a two bedroom place and have a host of other expenses.
We have three in college. They are on scholarships, but we still have bills for them and need to give them cash now and then. But suddenly dh and I have some extra money. We realized it's because alot of our kid expenses stopped.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

A woman can lie and say she is on the pill to get pregnant on purpose. She can poke pin holes in condoms and get pregnant on purpose. And the man will be responsible and be tied to the woman forever.

What about the man who said he had a vescetomey when he didn't to get a girl pregnant on purpose. Or he can poke pin holes in condoms and get pregnant on purpose. All done in an attempt to tie the woman to him forever.

Why do I think the second situation would result in criminal charges while the first one is sadly not that uncommon?

 

[chobie]

A woman can lie and say she is on the pill to get pregnant on purpose. She can poke pin holes in condoms and get pregnant on purpose. And the man will be responsible and be tied to the woman forever.

What about the man who said he had a vescetomey when he didn't to get a girl pregnant on purpose. Or he can poke pin holes in condoms and get pregnant on purpose. All done in an attempt to tie the woman to him forever.

Why do I think the second situation would result in criminal charges while the first one is sadly not that uncommon?

Why do you think that the second situation would result in criminal charges while the first situation is not that uncommon? I have no idea why you would think that becuase you certainly have nothing to back it up.

 

[bamajill]

A woman can lie and say she is on the pill to get pregnant on purpose. She can poke pin holes in condoms and get pregnant on purpose. And the man will be responsible and be tied to the woman forever.

What about the man who said he had a vescetomey when he didn't to get a girl pregnant on purpose. Or he can poke pin holes in condoms and get pregnant on purpose. All done in an attempt to tie the woman to him forever.

Why do I think the second situation would result in criminal charges while the first one is sadly not that uncommon?

I have never heard of criminal charges being pressed in any of these circumstances.

 

[cardaway]

Amazing how many pro-choice women use the term consequences when it means a man having to pay support but don't like it when it's used by pro-life folks who say they should suck it up, be a real woman, and not have an abortion.

Until everybody is forced to face the consequences, there should be choice for everybody involved.

 

[chobie]

Amazing how many pro-choice women use the term consequences when it means a man having to pay support but don't like it when it's used by pro-life folks who say they should suck it up, be a real woman, and not have an abortion.

Until everybody is forced to face the consequences, there should be choice for everybody involved.

You anger should be at men who don't pay child support when they willingly fathered a child and men who have not demanded better methods of birth control for themselves, not women.


I would have more sympathy for the male argument if it was framed as an unfairness in how child support is decided, becuase I do agree it is often unfair and should be decided on a case-by-case basis.

However, this argument is always framed as "well, either I should be able to force a medical procedure on a woman or not have to pay". Stop comparing a woman's health to a man's wallet and you wil get more support from pro-choice women.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

You anger should be at men who don't pay child support when they willingly fathered a child and men who have not demanded better methods of birth control for themselves, not women.

that's a key phrase in the debate.

 

[maleficent1959]

Haven't seen the show yet, but I'm familiar with the case. From what I've read the young woman in question says she really believed she could not get pregnant and so, therefore, did not lie to the young man. If that's true, then she wasn't some maneater out to get a poor guy. She's also made comments that abortion wasn't an option for her because she believes life begins at conception.

I don't know if he knew about her views on abortion or not, but they had unprotected sex that resulted in a baby. He didn't want to be a dad, she says she wasn't looking to become a mother. But surely somewhere in each of their minds there must have been at least a thought about "what if." If it was me, I'd let him sign away his parental rights and move on with my life. Yes, he should bear some responsibility, but I wouldn't want my daughter to have to grow up with his resentment and anger. Kudos to her for stepping up (if she really didn't want to be a parent).

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Amazing how many pro-choice women use the term consequences when it means a man having to pay support but don't like it when it's used by pro-life folks who say they should suck it up, be a real woman, and not have an abortion.

Until everybody is forced to face the consequences, there should be choice for everybody involved.

I think that is exactly what the whole Child Support thing is about. For a gazillion years, women alone faced the consequences of unwanted pregnancies. Now men are facing them, too.

 

[poohandwendy]

I am in favor of men being able to remove themselves from financial responsibility. IMO the number births to unwed mothers would drop dramiticaly if women knew there would be no child support coming.

I agree with Cardaway.

I think men should have period of time to terminate their responsibility to the pregnancy. In the same way that a woman has the right to decide if she wants the responsibility. I think it would be beneficial to the women too. To know, before making their decision, what intent the man has regarding the pregnancy.

I do not think a married man should have this right, nor should this right extend beyond the very beginning of the pregnancy.

JMHO