Should men be forced into fatherhood?

[cardaway]

Nonsense. Sex and irresponsibility in young people go hand in hand. It's an act of passion, not of planning. You will continue to have unwanted births, no matter who is deemed responsible-- and more of them, if abortion is outlawed.

Define young people. The majority of women making the state hunt down men for support because they got pregnant on purpose to get support are not teens.

 

[chobie]

Define young people. The majority of women making the state hunt down men for support because they got pregnant on purpose to get support are not teens.

Statistics?

 

[Sylvester McBean]

Quite frankly $500 a month is not that much money for child support.

that's a nice car payment for the guy. 6,000 a year might not be much to you, but I'd hate to have it taken from me for 18 years. women hold all of the cards in this matter, and it's extremely unfair. women lie every day in order to trap men, and then expect the father to step up to the plate and be a dad to the unwanted kid.

 

[bamajill]

that's a nice car payment for the guy. 6,000 a year might not be much to you, but I'd hate to have it taken from me for 18 years. women hold all of the cards in this matter, and it's extremely unfair. women lie every day in order to trap men, and then expect the father to step up to the plate and be a dad to the unwanted kid.

Ugh....yeah, he might have to forego a nice new car. Poor fellow.....

Give me a break. If you think women lie and trap then PROTECT YOURSELF. If you are having a sexual relationship with someone you feel might be capable of this....here's an idea....DON'T! If you feel like all women are the same and anyone is capable, then never, ever have sex without a condom.

People want the freedom of screwing around and having all the fun they want, but they don't want the consequences that come along with that 'freedom'.

I totally agree that not everyone is exactly as they present themselves. Women lie. Men cheat. We're all a pretty worthless lot so why not just use protection?

 

[SillyMe]

that's a nice car payment for the guy. 6,000 a year might not be much to you, but I'd hate to have it taken from me for 18 years. women hold all of the cards in this matter, and it's extremely unfair. women lie every day in order to trap men, and then expect the father to step up to the plate and be a dad to the unwanted kid.

Yes, some women do. However, there are just as many men who lie and say the woman trapped them and the woman lied.

I agree with the poster who said it's hard to prove where the child support goes every month. It would be way too complicated to track something like that. Plus, how do you determine, and WHO determines what that money is supposed to be used for?

 

[chobie]

Yes, some women do. However, there are just as many men who lie and say the woman trapped them and the woman lied.

I agree with the poster who said it's hard to prove where the child support goes every month. It would be way too complicated to track something like that. Plus, how do you determine, and WHO determines what that money is supposed to be used for?

Not to mention men who lie and say they want the baby and will always be there, then leave and avoid paying child support for the next several years.

 

[SillyMe]

Not to mention men who lie and say they want the baby and will always be there, then leave and avoid paying child support for the next several years.

Oh yeah, I've been dealing with one of those for the past 15 years.

 

[alliecats]

that's a nice car payment for the guy. 6,000 a year might not be much to you, but I'd hate to have it taken from me for 18 years. women hold all of the cards in this matter, and it's extremely unfair. women lie every day in order to trap men, and then expect the father to step up to the plate and be a dad to the unwanted kid.

It is extremely unfair for a woman to lie to a man and vice versa. It is also extremely stupid for a man who does not want children not to be wearing a condom with spermicide EVERY TIME, investigating the male pill, and/or getting a vasectomy. If he doesn't take these basic, common sense precautions then he should not be surprised if he finds himself a father. He can't use the words "forced" when he has been out there, spreading sperm. Conception is a reasonable expectation of that kind of careless behavior.

 

[PaulaSB12]

It takes two to tango. He should of kept using the condom or asked her for medical records to back up her claim.

Any one remember how Boris Becker's last child was conceived? He had oral sex with a woman who removed the result from her mouth and inseminated herself. I also read the case of an american man who had decided that he wouldn't face this problem. He froze his sperm so he could choose who he would have children with, but later he had a girlfriend who talked to him about having children, he said no so she stopped her birth control. When she found out what he had done she took him to court because she was denying him her right to get pregnant.

 

[SillyMe]

For those men that think women hold all the power when it comes to pregnancy, it's only because the man gives them that power. You hold your own power to prevent it, no matter what the woman tells you. Simple...use a condom. Take the prevention into your own hands.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

It does seem wicked unfair that a woman can abort a baby, even if the man wants it. And she can keep it, even if he doesn't. Once the die is cast, they have no "say."

But it does take two to tango. He IS the father of this child, whether he wanted to be or not.

I think the saddest part here is that someone would not only abandon their child, but also make a public announcement that they don't love it or want anything to do with it. I hope that baby never sees this when it grows up.

(It also takes two to make a Tango!...but only Becky will get this!)

 

[Sylvester McBean]

It is extremely unfair for a woman to lie to a man and vice versa. It is also extremely stupid for a man who does not want children not to be wearing a condom with spermicide EVERY TIME, investigating the male pill, and/or getting a vasectomy. If he doesn't take these basic, common sense precautions then he should not be surprised if he finds himself a father. He can't use the words "forced" when he has been out there, spreading sperm. Conception is a reasonable expectation of that kind of careless behavior.

I agree, but guys aren't always that smart in the heat of the moment. if a girl tells you she's on the pill and it's OK, they'll take it at face value. a wise move, no, but it's a gamble some guys will take. if she really is on the pill and it fails, it's 50/50.

if she was lying, it's 100% on her shoulders and the guy should be able to walk away. she gets what she deserves, to be a single mother and to figure out her and the child's future on her own.

there's no contract in the bedroom to sign off on, so the mother has the upper hand.

 

[kimmikayb]

that's a nice car payment for the guy. 6,000 a year might not be much to you, but I'd hate to have it taken from me for 18 years. women hold all of the cards in this matter, and it's extremely unfair. women lie every day in order to trap men, and then expect the father to step up to the plate and be a dad to the unwanted kid.

$500 is also not a lot to raise a kid.

Women don't hold all the cards. There are just as many horror stories out there for men holding the cards. Believe me, I've lived it.

 

[simpilotswife]

I am in favor of men being able to remove themselves from financial responsibility. IMO the number births to unwed mothers would drop dramiticaly if women knew there would be no child support coming.

If a man doesn't have a say in whether the pregnancy should continue then he should be able to terminate his parental rights. I have thought for a long time that making a man responsible for a child that he clearly did not want and had no intention of having is an abrogation of his civil rights.

 

[SillyMe]

I agree, but guys aren't always that smart in the heat of the moment. if a girl tells you she's on the pill and it's OK, they'll take it at face value. a wise move, no, but it's a gamble some guys will take. if she really is on the pill and it fails, it's 50/50.

if she was lying, it's 100% on her shoulders and the guy should be able to walk away. she gets what she deserves, to be a single mother and to figure out her and the child's future on her own.

there's no contract in the bedroom to sign off on, so the mother has the upper hand.

That's crap! If he is that freakin' stupid "in the heat of the moment" to take her at face value, then he needs to deal with the consequences if she gets pregnant. It is not 100% on her!!!

She gets what she deserves?????? What about what the child deserves?? What an ***!

 

[simpilotswife]

For those men that think women hold all the power when it comes to pregnancy, it's only because the man gives them that power. You hold your own power to prevent it, no matter what the woman tells you. Simple...use a condom. Take the prevention into your own hands.

Condoms fail. My brother is the result of a failed condom.

 

[S. C.]

Without getting into a debate over abortion (pro-choice / pro-life) or adoption rights, here's my take on the situation.

If you're mature enough to realize ALL the possible consequences of sexual activity, as the 'father' you should have the personal integrity to stand by your actions. That goes along with your decision to use protection or abstain.

Bad pun intended - most guys don't realize they're playing with a loaded gun. Just a simple matter of deciding which organ makes your decisions for you.

Well said.

 

[PaulaSB12]

Can I ask one question, should a woman who knowingly lies to a man and forces him to pay child support for another man's child be made to pay back to the man and get the child from the actual father? Also If the woman has a child and doesn't inform him for many years that the child exists should she be able to get back support for a child he doesn't know exists. In some cases a man will find out that he has a teenage child and expected to pay 13 years of back support for a child he wasn't aware of.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I can't understand why the woman is on the Pill if she cannot get pregnant at all??

Newflash: Many women, including myself, are on the Pill for reasons that have nothing to do with birth control.

 

[Sylvester McBean]

What an ***!

that's me.