Should I tell her

[yourMaire83]

I am going on my first solo trip in about a week. My best friend lives in Orlando. This will be my 3rd trip to WDW in 2010... the other 2 trips we (DH and I) went out of our way to see her and her DH and 2 cute babies. But she still hounded me. I mean, calls texts guilt trips. For our entire vacation. I don't think she understands how expensive these trips are for us or that we're on vacation.

I really don't want to hide this trip from her and of course I want to see her. But I am afraid she might ruin this trip for me...

One trip, they took the boat from our resort to DTD with us and DH and I wanted to eat at WPE (we had sandwiches the night before so didn't want EOS) and she insisted that we not go there and get Earl instead. So we order food, and notice she (and her family) don't order anything... well they went home before we even got our dang sandwiches!

She will probably take over my trip in some way. One thing that is different this trip is that I will not have a car. I'm thinking it will be my saving grace when it comes to this friend. I think I will tell her about my trip bit make it very clear when I will see her. And tell her not to bother me any other time to stop what I am doing to visit her more. If she can come meet me inside the Parks, then fine. I plan on spending Friday at Epcot and they're open til past midnight... so I could go way early in the morning, take a break in the middle of the day with her and then go back and finish the night there at Epcot. Part of me is also tempted to buy her a one day ticket to go with me to MK on my last day.... however I'm worried even both of those things will not make her happy...

 

[WDW_lover_in_SC]

If she's that demanding I wouldn't tell her ever when I was coming...but that just me.

 

[MasculineButTender]

Perhaps you should tell this creep that under no circumstances will she be allowed to highjack the family vacation you have worked your tail off for all year. Be honest. Tell her the only reason you come to Orlando is to visit Disney, and that while you might wish to see her once or twice a decade, she's an afterthought once you hop on the monorail at the airport.

I would just say "Hey, if we have some time to spend with you in Orlando, we'll give you a call." Then don't call. They might get the picture after a year or two.

It's your vacation and you make the rules, so of course you're free to tell everyone else to butt out.

 

[nurse.darcy]

I HAD a friend like that(notice the emphasis on the word "had"). Here is how I roll now. . .

Hello friend, I am going to be at WDW from "this" date to "that" date. I would love to find a moment to spend time with you during that trip but here is my schedule. Please let me know if you have some time during my free time. "Sorry but I can't change my schedule. Some of those events are prepaid". If the friend doesn't like it, I am sorry, but its my schedule. I get over the friendship.

I find this type of friendship to be rather annoying and I usually move them to the "aquaintance" category.

 

[MasculineButTender]

Yeah but ... then she's tied to a "schedule" ! Who needs that crap when you are on a Disney vacay?

The gist must be: I will see you on my whim, girlfriend. If you don't like it go to Publix, get some Oreos and ice cream and have a good cry.

There's no getting around the underlying sentiment, which is: I dont care if I see you this year. Why do the passive agressive scheduling thing?

 

[NJDiva]

If she's that demanding I wouldn't tell her ever when I was coming...but that just me.

Gotta agree, I wouldn't say a thing to her about your trip, especially if you know she's going to do the same thing and dominate your trip.

 

[MasculineButTender]

If she finds out you were there (which she will), the friendship is over (at least it should be) and you look like goofball. Why cant women be honest with each other?

"Last time we were there, you were kind of a pain in the butt. Dont want that again. I'll get a hold of you if we have some downtime. Take it easy."

Why is that so hard?

 

[NJDiva]

If she finds out you were there (which she will), the friendship is over (at least it should be) and you look like goofball. Why cant women be honest with each other?

"Last time we were there, you were kind of a pain in the butt. Dont want that again. I'll get a hold of you if we have some downtime. Take it easy."

Why is that so hard?

You have a point. Eventually she will find out and the aftermath of it all will suck. I bet that the friend doesn't realize how over-bearing she is. If you lie to her she'll find out the truth and if you do tell her you have hurt feelings. Either way you're outcome will be bad with her.

 

[yourMaire83]

If she finds out you were there (which she will), the friendship is over (at least it should be) and you look like goofball. Why cant women be honest with each other?

"Last time we were there, you were kind of a pain in the butt. Dont want that again. I'll get a hold of you if we have some downtime. Take it easy."

Why is that so hard?

Exactly! If she found out she would be very upset. Plus, I really would love to see her (and still be able to enjoy WDW). She's like the sister I never had. I think not having a rental car will prove to be the best move on my part and will make it harder for her to envision me dropping everything to hang out.

 

[rigs32]

Has she always been like this? I'm guessing not or else why would you still be friends with her. What brought about this behavior?

 

[Agri]

Has she always been like this? I'm guessing not or else why would you still be friends with her. What brought about this behavior?

That's what I was wondering.

I was also wondering why the OP hasn't told this "best friend" about all these problems. If my best friend was acting this way while I was on vacation, I would tell him off (he lives in Jacksonville and tries to come to WDW when we do.)

I don't understand how anyone can describe someone using the terms "best friend" and "sister I never had" and then actually need to post on the internet on how to deal with them. If this person really does occupy that place in your life, then repay her by being honest with her. If you cannot be honest with her, you need to reexamine some things.

Of course, OP, do you ever go down and just visit her? She might expect you to drop everything for a day because you are her best friend and she thinks that if you make it all the way to Orlando, then surely you would make time for your "best friend"/"sister you never had." Maybe she has gotten pushy because she has to compete with the Mouse for time with her "best friend."

 

[MasculineButTender]

Don't sweat it tonight...just put some Billie Holliday on the radio and make some side dishes for tomorrow! Love you guys!