Should I force my kids to go to Disney?

[disneydreamer1980]

On our last two trips, 2 of our kids (now ages 18 and 16) were absolutely horrible. They don’t want to leave the room, when in the parks they complain about absolutely everything and whine constantly about just wanting to go back to the resort. They whine and complain incessantly. They made the rest of us miserable. The thing is, we’ve gone to WDW every year of their lives and they’ve always loved it, not sure what’s happened lately. While talking about our next trip they both said they don’t want to go and are begging us to just let them stay home. DH thinks we should let them stay since they’re miserable there anyway, but for me, this is a family trip and it wouldn’t feel right going without them. Plus it feels like they’re being brats and getting what they want. It really upsets me that they don’t want to go. But if I make them go they’ll be absolutely miserable. Anyone been through anything similar? Any advice?

 

[Marrila]

How many kids do you have? Do you book one hotel room or two?
Every year to WDW may seem like a lot to them. Have you considered closer, shorter trips to a different destination?

 

[Micca]

DH thinks we should let them stay since they’re miserable there anyway, but for me, this is a family trip and it wouldn’t feel right going without them.

What good is a family trip if no one is having a good time...while you're spending $$$???

I don't know if your kids should stay home alone, that's something you'll have to decide. You and DH should go (with the younger kids.) There's a chance the too-cool teens will change their tune at some point and want to go along again.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Do you make them do things with you in the park? If yes, would they be happier to go off and do their own thing, checking in with you at certain times?

 

[AgentMama]

I wouldn't take kids that age on a trip they're asking not to go on and were miserable on previously. Is there a trip they do want to take?

 

[Disneylover99]

Why not bring them on the trip, but don’t buy them park tickets. That way they can stay at the resort all day.

 

[Praying Colonel]

If the rationale for the kids going is it being a family vacation, maybe try to schedule a vacation where family members don't hate being there?

When our kids were living at home with us, we mostly went to the beach or WDW because those were the vacations we could afford where the 4 of us were generally happy with the choice.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

If you have to force someone to go to Disney or any other destination, it's just not going to be fun for them *or* you. Maybe try a family vacation somewhere else?

 

[evilmommie]

I have 4 adult children and been through all kinds of scenarios like this. If both of your teenage children don't want to go to WDW, why would you force them to go? Maybe they want to try something different? Where do they want to go? Why don’t they want to leave the room? On games or social media all the time and miss their friends?

I’d absolutely take a break from a Disney vacation, if 2 of my kids were acting like that. How miserable. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns with a large family on vaca, but for the most part you have to have some unity with the kids attitudes.

 

[LoveToDisney]

Teens like to sleep. I wonder if you make them get up early so they hate the whole day. We usually would not make it to the parks until almost noon but stay late when we travel with teens. Also, we started doing partial days at Universal and nights at Disney once they wanted more thrill rides.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

How many kids do you have? Do you book one hotel room or two?
Every year to WDW may seem like a lot to them. Have you considered closer, shorter trips to a different destination?

We have 5 kids. We do frequently go on other trips (the beach, Europe to visit family, the mountains) and they’re fine with them, it’s just Disney they complain about. I guess that’s why it upsets me, they’re fine going other places. I just don’t get it I guess.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

Do you make them do things with you in the park? If yes, would they be happier to go off and do their own thing, checking in with you at certain times?

This is a good idea, I’ll bring this up with them. We do usually just all stay together

 

[MamaMermaid]

This is a good idea, I’ll bring this up with them. We do usually just all stay together

Like they can sleep in, head to park when they want, go to water park, etc. Not stuck with mom and dad (sorry mama!) but you could do a family breakfast or dinner.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

They're teenagers. Disney really doesn't know what to do with them, I think, unless they're Disney fans already. Not many thrill rides, having to stay with Mom and Dad all day. I think the suggestions about letting them their own park time might help.

 

[ramee]

Well the 18 year old is an adult who may be free to make the choice not to go.

At those ages, have they been to Universal?

And I agree about letting them spend some time in the parks by themselves and meeting up occasionally.

 

[VandVsmama]

On our last two trips, 2 of our kids (now ages 18 and 16) were absolutely horrible. They don’t want to leave the room, when in the parks they complain about absolutely everything and whine constantly about just wanting to go back to the resort. They whine and complain incessantly. They made the rest of us miserable. The thing is, we’ve gone to WDW every year of their lives and they’ve always loved it, not sure what’s happened lately. While talking about our next trip they both said they don’t want to go and are begging us to just let them stay home. DH thinks we should let them stay since they’re miserable there anyway, but for me, this is a family trip and it wouldn’t feel right going without them. Plus it feels like they’re being brats and getting what they want. It really upsets me that they don’t want to go. But if I make them go they’ll be absolutely miserable. Anyone been through anything similar? Any advice?

You can be right or you can be happy. If you want to be right, then force them to go on the next Disney trip. You'll all be miserable. If you want to be happy, figure out a compromise. That compromise might mean going on a NON-Disney trip somewhere. Ask them where THEY want to go, what do THEY want to do.

 

[PPFlight75]

We go every year and our kids are now 15, 19, and 21. A few years ago, my 2 oldest decided to leave during the middle of a park day, and it made me a little sad. I realized that as they get older, they sometimes just want to do their own thing and make their own choices.

Now when we go, one of them might not want to go to the park at all, or pool, or dinner and that is perfectly fine. I always tell them they are welcome to go and do their own thing if they want to. I am glad they still want to go on the trip and I always ask if they want to go before I book it and thankfully they still say yes, but if one of them wanted to stay home (not the 15 year old), I would be sad but would let them.

 

[PPFlight75]

You can be right or you can be happy. If you want to be right, then force them to go on the next Disney trip. You'll all be miserable. If you want to be happy, figure out a compromise. That compromise might mean going on a NON-Disney trip somewhere. Ask them where THEY want to go, what do THEY want to do.

That's a good point about non- Disney trips. We have started to do some of those for our older adult children, and that has made them very happy.

 

[gmi3804]

Assuming they're not belligerent and nasty when they're home, talk with them about the do your own thing idea, with periodic meet-ups. Maybe they just want to hang out at the pool with their noses buried in their phones all day. They'd likely enjoy the autonomy and feeling like grown-ups, in a place they've really enjoyed in the past. Everybody wins.

On a more somber note, when you die they'll feel really bad about giving you grief about this.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

Well the 18 year old is an adult who may be free to make the choice not to go.

At those ages, have they been to Universal?

And I agree about letting them spend some time in the parks by themselves and meeting up occasionally.

We do 2 or 3 universal days on each trip and they do enjoy Universal more than Disney. I told them they could just do the universal portion if they wanted and just hang in the resort for the rest but they don’t want to do that. And the 18 year old is an adult but if I told her to go she would, but she’d be resentful.