RitaZ. said:
Too much information, especially regarding events and things that we have zero control over, just leads to anxiety and fear. Childhood is short and precious, kids are bombarded with topics they really shouldn't know about as it is. I think it's unnecessary and detrimental to go into an in depth discussion with a 2nd grader about tragic and horrific events. I'm not saying that's what the teacher did.
It's not about keeping kids in a bubble, it's about taking their age and emotional maturity into account. If they hear about it from their friends or if it's something that they should know about (like sexual predators), they may bring it up or we may. We attempt to discuss it in non-threatening way while taking their emotional maturity into account. I don't see the need to discuss Waco, I really don't.
When my son's 3rd grade teacher took it upon herself to disclose "the truth" about Columbine to the class, my son was terrified that he would be shot in school. It took a lot of reassuring from us that he was safe at school. That's how kids interpret scary information, they internalize it. JMO.
of course there can be to much graphic information, you missed what i said. answer the questions that are asked by a child in a simple way, that is usually enough but, if they ask for more info after that, then you need to be able to explain further to them. you have to let them lead it. but it should be discussed. at different levels as the years go on. the worst thing to tell a child is you don't need to know about that. that hurts their esteem and scares them more.
we talk to our children about not talking to strangers, and not going up to cars etc. well this is in a small way the same as a terrosist, because it is a terrosist to our children. if it is explained correctly then they can handle it.
my son understands the importance of his school's safety drills (not just simple "fun" fire drills like i had growing up). and what the reasons are that they have to practice it, and what to do if it was real. my son is not scared after they have these because we have discussed with him why they must occur, and what has gone on in the world to cause them to be needed. this way when it comes time to do them or a discussion comes up he is prepared and not only won't be worried but, can join in and be part of the conversation. talking about columbine and the other school shootings that have happend with my son, gave us a whole new area of topics to lead to. what to do if you suspect something bad might happen, what to do if you hear someone making bad plans. what to do if a friend seems really sad, or says horrible things he might do. every thing is a chance to educate.
if a child asks me at school i give a very brief explanation, and i answer all their questions, and i say that is a good topic to talk to mom and/or dad about tonight. then i let a higher school member know what was asked, how i handled it, and what should be done to make this topic part of the plan. we have a wonderful social and behavioral program that usually handle these issues. it might mean we have a meeting on how to procede. but if kids are asking, we will be explaining to them in groups. cause if one is talking, more are whispering about it. and it is better to teach then to ignore.
your child might internalize scary information but not all do, mine doesn't, and most wouldn't if they had been talked to about these issues that will in some round about way affect them. and it will be easier to handle when they do hear them. at least it won't be first hand news.
it is a hard time in the world to be a parent because, we are having to have talks with our children that are not the normal ones we thought we would be having. puberty, sex, bedtimes, bad/touches good/touches, rules....yet we still have to have all these besides.
we have a different level of explaining these issues depending on what grade we are dealing with , and we also have 2 specialist that come in on each subject to lend a hand.
i don't feel it is WHEN we talk about these issues, it is HOW we talk about them.
I think that was a good answer to your DD while you decide how to handle it. Your DD may be concerned for the children, for herself or she just wants to know. One thing I've learned from my kids is that they usually want to know less than I think they do. Just let her questions and reaction be your guide. Good luck!
