Seriously? You think I should spend what?

[Illuminations_Rocks]

I'd say they're average numbers. I didn't see anywhere in what you posted that said you had to give them all, just if you did give, these were the numbers people usually use.

Although I'd think people spend a little more on the shower. Course I haven't had mine yet haha. We didn't have any engagement announcement - I got "congratulations" haha. And for my bachelorette? People give gifts for that?? I would think just drinks and the party supplies.... That's all I've ever heard of anyway.

I know many people will be spending a lot less on my gifts, and the rest will likely be in that range. My friends are all just graduating (some grad school, some college) or are still in college, or only have like a year or two max of working. My extended family's large and by no means wealthy. We are spending way more on the wedding (and it's really not that much!) than DF and I will receive in gifts. I'm just glad to be celebrating with them!

 

[disykat]

In my circle here it would be - no engagement or bachelorette parties (maybe a drink and/or a small gag gift at a girls night out, but no real gifts). Showers $30 or 40, Weddings $50 -100. You might spend more for immediate family,less for aquaintances, etc. One thing that has no bearing whatsoever here in my experience is the cost of the party the host is throwing. It's about how well you know the couple.

 

[mom2rb]

Around here engagement parties are just for the bride and groom's families and the wedding party to get to know each other. There are no presents. At mine the cake lady brought a few different cakes to sample, so maybe that was the present .

Also if you bring a gift to the shower you don't buy another one for the wedding.

I would guess that I spent around $50 for a wedding gift for friends and relatives. For close relatives I would spend $100.

 

[believe]

Around here only close family would give a wedding gift of 100-200. That is almost how much my wedding dress cost 13yrs ago. I've never been to an engagement party...thankfully.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Also if you bring a gift to the shower you don't buy another one for the wedding.

I've never heard that one before.


I'd say that the numbers in the OP are pretty accurate for the shower gift, and wedding gift (cash, usually.) I've only been to one engagement party, and some people brought gifts and others didn't. And for the bachelorette party, I'm also thinking that might mean the cost of what it cost each person to contribute, and I would say that $40 is actually pretty low for that.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

Those dollar amounts seem pretty accurate to me here in NJ. The only thing is I havent heard of a bachelorette gift but let me say being part of a bachelorette party has costed me waaay more than the amount listed numerous times. Haha!
Of course for me I may spend more for close friends or family.

 

[carole88]

Sounds like this is probably a regional thing. I lived in NY and now am in Las Vegas and these numbers seem a little low to me. I got married in 1989 and received gifts along the published amounts. We didn't have an engagement party but some family members still gave us gifts. I also think that the bachelorette party amount is what you would spend to take the bride out. I think in this case the $40 is getting off easy!

 

[froglady]

Around here only close family would give a wedding gift of 100-200. That is almost how much my wedding dress cost 13yrs ago. I've never been to an engagement party...thankfully.

Wow! My wedding gown cost twice that....30+ years ago. I also knew people who spent a lot more. Wedding gifts (both those received, and given) were in the $100 range back then; shower gifts were around $25. No engagement party, and a bunch of friends took me out for drinks.

I spend about $300 for family/close friends (depending upon how much I have to pay to travel), and around $200-250 for others.

 

[ilisao]

People should spend what they can reasonably afford. And shame on the bride and groom who sit around calculating how much people spent on them.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

60.00 and up for the couples engagement gift
40.00 and up for the couples shower
40.00 and up for the bride's bachlorette party
100-200 for the wedding gift

Am I the only one that thinks this is more than a little bit high? I don't think anyone gave DH and I an engagement gift, nor did I expect one, and if I did it sure wouldn't have been 60 bucks!!!!!

For here, that seems to be cheap.

Typically what I do (this fluctuates depending on relationship to couple)
$100 - gift from Tiffany's for engagement
$150 - shower gift - place setting of fine china, or 4 Waterford wine glasses
$50 - lingerie for bachelorette
$300-$500 cash wedding gift

 

[mickeyfan2]

60.00 and up for the couples engagement gift
Never attended one
I did make a scrapbook for each couple when they got engaged. The scrapbooks took me over 40 hours and who knows how much money.

40.00 and up for the couples shower
I always spend over $40. I am going to one on Saturday and I spent about $70. The bride is a close friend's daughter. DH and I even attended the bride's Christening.

40.00 and up for the bride's bachlorette party
Never attended one

100-200 for the wedding gift
We give a check for $200+.


We have two weddings and bridal shower's this year.

 

[aprilgail2]

Also if you bring a gift to the shower you don't buy another one for the wedding.
.

LOL- never heard of this other than on the DISboards! Boy If people come from an area where that is true to another for a shower and wedding it would be thought that they were rude to not give a check for the wedding. You don't give gifts for weddings around here, cash or checks- the gifts are for the shower.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Another Texan -

Never heard of an engagement party being thrown

Shower gift seems on target - we usually spend about $30 unless they are a close friend/family and I spend much more than that

You don't bring a gift to the wedding if you attended a shower and gave one there; esp not money! If you bring a gift, it's about $40 on average

 

[izzy]

Thank God we don't spend like that from where I'm from. Maybe $20-$40 for a shower gift and $50 or so for the wedding present if we're feeling extravagent.

 

[pyrxtc]

There is a wedding "expert" from theknot.com on our local news right now clueing in the public about how much to spend for weddings and showers...I don't think I have ever spent this much on anyone...

60.00 and up for the couples engagement gift
40.00 and up for the couples shower
40.00 and up for the bride's bachlorette party
100-200 for the wedding gift

Am I the only one that thinks this is more than a little bit high? I don't think anyone gave DH and I an engagement gift, nor did I expect one, and if I did it sure wouldn't have been 60 bucks!!!!!

Everything sounds about right on par, I also agree that it's a regional thing. I think the 100-200 for the wedding is actuallya little low. The $40 for the bachelorette party will barely get you a couple of mixed drinks for the night nevermind buying the bride anything. So that is definately low.

 

[aprilgail2]

Everything sounds about right on par, I also agree that it's a regional thing. I think the 100-200 for the wedding is actuallya little low. .

I took that as 100-200 PER PERSON- if that was not the case then it is on the low side...

 

[DISUNC]

LOL- never heard of this other than on the DISboards! Boy If people come from an area where that is true to another for a shower and wedding it would be thought that they were rude to not give a check for the wedding. You don't give gifts for weddings around here, cash or checks- the gifts are for the shower.

Yup! Former NY'ER here(with family still there)....Weddings/Showers/Engagement parties are a HUGE financial deal in the NY area!

My cousin recently was married, and I KNOW they made over 50k on their wedding alone. (i held onto the checks till they got back from their honeymoon) Maybe 200 guest (give or take a few) very few bring physical gifts to weddings. Mostly always cash.
For the shower his wife got a washer/dryer, Fridge, 60 in TV...all big ticket items. These people were all middle class too

 

[mumom95]

I agree with you. These prices would never fly around here. I spend anywhere from $50 to $100 for a wedding present. I haven't attended a bachelorette party since 1989 and we bought the bride her drinks and a cucumber and some other "toys." I would have never imagined that you are supposed to take a real present to a bachelorette party.

My future SIL is getting married in a couple of weeks and is throwing herself a bachelorette party, and on the invitation she listed specific items from Victoria Secret that she wants (it even included the inentory number so you could order it online). She also had her size and bra size on the invitation.

So I guess she is expecting a present, fortunately I can't make it.

 

[DISUNC]

Thank God we don't spend like that from where I'm from. Maybe $20-$40 for a shower gift and $50 or so for the wedding present if we're feeling extravagent.

It is very common in NY to have the reception in Professional Reception Halls. Minimum they cost about $100 a head, and thats on a Friday night wedding!

 

[mumom95]

There is a wedding "expert" from theknot.com on our local news right now clueing in the public about how much to spend for weddings and showers...I don't think I have ever spent this much on anyone...

60.00 and up for the couples engagement gift
40.00 and up for the couples shower
40.00 and up for the bride's bachlorette party
100-200 for the wedding gift

Am I the only one that thinks this is more than a little bit high? I don't think anyone gave DH and I an engagement gift, nor did I expect one, and if I did it sure wouldn't have been 60 bucks!!!!!

What I want to know is does this hold true when it is their second and third marriage, and you've already bought them presents for their other weddings. I have a couple of family members/friends who it is starting to get ridiculous with.