Send 10 year old boy to mens room??

[ReninDetroit]

I'm a man with only male kids so I don't have this problem, but I can assure you that if it was obvoius that an older man was "looking at" a young child in a way deemed inappropriate, the other people in the bathroom would catch on VERY quickly and most likely kick his a**.

I don't think it's a terribly likely situation for anything shady to happen in a WDW bathroom because they're always so crowded and you can't help but to be absorbed in your surroundings, it's just sortof the nature of being in a bathroom. And I know for a fact that if I was at WDW (or anywhere for that matter) and I witnessed anything going on, the appropriate actions would be taken care of very quickly.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I haven't read much here that is personal.

Perhaps I was being overly sensitive. I just found the comments about "smothering" and the accompanying reference to be inappropriate.

Obviously, everyone posting here loves their children. I think deciding when they are ready for whatever milestone is a very personal decision, and I resent the implication that if you do not agree with various posters, you are not allowing your child to mature and grow. That is making a judgement on a parenting style that is different than yours, and I think that is less than courteous.

 

[YourMajesty]

How likely is it, really, that someone is going to duct tape your kid's mouth in a bathroom at Disney World or anywhere else? A bathroom where people are literally in and out every 10 or 20 seconds all day long? A bathroom where almost every man in there is a parent?

I had never thought about something like that until I heard it happened. Peoples fears are not unfounded they are a result of what does happen. As for it being likely?? Usually I can take the risk but sometimes DS 7 goes with me.

 

[EEyorelover22]

I didn't read this entire thread...

I have two kids...one boy and one girl. I only trust one other person with my kids and that's my DH. I'm their parent and I will do what I think is best for their safety. My children cannot be replaced or repaired easily so I will always error on the side of caution. I lost DD in a crowd last year at Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America and it took me 10 minutes to find her after we were separated. I never want to relive any of those minutes ever again.

Everyone looks at me funny when they find out I drive my kids to middle school...we are in a "safe" area. That's great...by the way, "did you know there was a meth lab in the house behind you?" I was talking to a neighbor and yes, there was a meth lab in the house behind us. No one knew...

 

[WDSearcher]

I would think that in wrestling with the choice between your 10-year-old going to the bathroom alone or with you, you'd look at the numbers ... the facts. Aside from urban legend, there has never been a report (that I'm aware of) of anything ugly happening to a pre-teen or child or teen in a restroom at WDW. Frankly, most people are just more interested in getting in, getting out, getting back in line. Does that mean that you should let your guard down? No, of course not. But use a little common sense. I'm assuming you don't have a problem with your child going into the bathroom by himself at school. So ... why WDW? There are far more instances of kids getting hassled in school restrooms than at WDW. Do you have problems with your kids using their friends' home bathrooms or home bathrooms of relatives? Probably not. Yet ... look at the numbers of kids who have been molested by friends of the family in their own homes. More than the number of kids molested at WDW? I'm thinkin'.

I'm with the people who say that 10 years old is too old to be following you into the ladies room. Of course, it's also old enough to "hold it" until you reach a Family Rest Room, IMO. And if it's that important to you to not have him in a men's room by himself at this age, then it shouldn't matter how inconvenient it is to find a Family Room, right? But unless you keep him out of men's rooms EVERYWHERE, it just seems over-reactionary to keep him out of them at WDW.

 

[Terry S]

RedinDetriot.... I really would like to beleive that there are more people in the world like you who would get involved. But I am not so sure. Hopefully when the time comes that I send my son in the bathroom by himself you or someone like you are there.

 

[lllovell]

Perhaps I was being overly sensitive. I just found the comments about "smothering" and the accompanying reference to be inappropriate.

Obviously, everyone posting here loves their children. I think deciding when they are ready for whatever milestone is a very personal decision, and I resent the implication that if you do not agree with various posters, you are not allowing your child to mature and grow. That is making a judgement on a parenting style that is different than yours, and I think that is less than courteous.

You seem to be in a different position from most of us having first hand experiences with your relative's children. I can completely understand you being a protective person, perhaps more so than others of us that have been fortunate enough to never experience bad things.

 

[Jennasis]

I say Mom should go IN the men's room with the 10 year old. Since you don't seem to be worried about offending people when the 10 year old comes in the ladies room, I say MOM should go in with the men and stand outside the stall door.

Seriously. Not much of a difference one way or the other except that you can see how going into a restroom of the opposite sex MAY offend others.

I myself always roll my eyes and laugh when I see boys in the restroom. Not Babies or toddlers...but 9-15 year olds (I've seen it all!)

 

[yeartolate]

Perhaps I was being overly sensitive. I just found the comments about "smothering" and the accompanying reference to be inappropriate.

Obviously, everyone posting here loves their children. I think deciding when they are ready for whatever milestone is a very personal decision, and I resent the implication that if you do not agree with various posters, you are not allowing your child to mature and grow. That is making a judgement on a parenting style that is different than yours, and I think that is less than courteous.

I don't know. As a grown up woman I think I have the "right" to take care of all my elimination needs without a (nondisabled) prepubescent boy hanging around. They are curious and even sneaky by design and I enjoy my privacy. If a parent is that concerned about a child that age not being safe in a bathroom, they should map out the family bathrooms on their trips in advance.


I am curious - are the kids who are not allowed to go to the bathroom at 10+ allowed to walk to school or a friends house on their own? Go to a local market to get milk? Play outside unaccompanied? I am curious if the overprotectiveness just surrounds bathrooms.

 

[Mom2AAA's]

Our son is also 10 and refuses to come into the ladies room anymore, so if my husband is not there I send him in... but I practically stand in the entrance of the bathroom, I get some looks but I figure who cares, if I were even to hear a peep I would be in there so fast heads would spin!

 

[Mom2AAA's]

I don't know. As a grown up woman I think I have the "right" to take care of all my elimination needs without a (nondisabled) prepubescent boy hanging around. They are curious and even sneaky by design and I enjoy my privacy. If a parent is that concerned about a child that age not being safe in a bathroom, they should map out the family bathrooms on their trips in advance.


I am curious - are the kids who are not allowed to go to the bathroom at 10+ allowed to walk to school or a friends house on their own? Go to a local market to get milk? Play outside unaccompanied? I am curious if the overprotectiveness just surrounds bathrooms.

Yes it does apply! We live in a very nice neighborhood but I will not allow my children to go out side by themselves ( Two 13 year old girls and 10 year old boy). My son is not allowed to ride a couple of blocks to meet a friend, I'll bring him over or ride my bike with him and once they are together then I leave, there is saftey in numbers.

I know I sound a little crazy but it's just the way I am. They live with it.

 

[NewEnglandDisney]

NewEnglandDisney.... when you do have childern of your own you may think differently or maybe not. I was never worried about my son being grabbed and taken out of the restroom without me noticeing. I was worried about what can happen in there. If the chlids mouth is being covered they may not be able to scream. If they are waiting in the stall others may not notice. Bad things do happen in WDW even though Disney does a good job of trying to keep things quiet.

I may not be a parent, but I am a son.

At ten years old, there would have to be quite a commotion to restrain a boy that age. And one would hope the young man would look in the stall beforehand to make sure no one was in there. In the end, you are setting up a whole line of "what ifs" and the only point I am trying to make is that you take chances all the time - and far more children are bothered at school, by school and religious leaders, and 90% of the time by people they know.

Again, everyone will make their own choices - I just think people should be aware of how psychologically damaging this can be to a boy.

As someone who was a 10 year old male, I can tell you - you may not want to hear it mom's, but your kids are in that age where sexual curiousity is right there. Many lifelong sexual patterns are developed at that age. Puberty, and the physical manifestation of it, may not be there yet, but they aren't three or four years old. They understand MUCH more than we'd like (and hope) to believe. That story above about the boy peeking under the stall is a perfect example.

I haven't posted in this thread to tell people they are bad parents - we all agree that it's all about loving your kid. I have posted because I have known men who were treated this way as kids and became very troubled adults. I hope more men will post their feelings - because again, while I may not fully understand a parents view, a mother can never understand what it's like to be a son.

Finally, really, some of the hyperbole and loaded language in this thread makes it sound like people get terrorized and molested at Disney World all the time. If you look at the court cases, you should be more concerned about Tigger rubbing you the wrong way, or the safety of rides (several people have died at Disneyland in the past few years, as has been well publicized). You are taking your child's life in your hands a thousand times over by getting on an airplane, a car, or putting them on the school bus. Mythical perverts hiding in extremely busy restrooms in Disney World is way, way down on that list.

Although I'm sure I will recieve further critique of my opinion, I think I've stated it about as well as I can, so I will bid this thread adieu. I hope the original poster has at least given some thought to what people have posted, and doesn't allow the "OMG SLASHERS ARE HIDING IN THE TOILETS!" posts scare you into letting your little boy follow nature and become a young man.

Not only does he need the freedom, his future emotional/sexual development (which at 10 is already well underway - again, as any man who was a 10 year old boy can attest) may depend on it.

In any case, I hope the family has a magical vacation!

N.E.D.

 

[meandtheguys2]

OMGoodness! I could never live somewhere that made me that fearful for my kids. I don't know how you do it. My kids ride their bikes within a few mile radius as long as there are at least two of them. If we are somewhere that I have to fear their going into a restroom, I would have more concerns for all of our safety than just theirs. (10 years, no extra concerns) I'd probably have them pee outside and get the heck out of there!

 

[EEyorelover22]

Yes it does apply! We live in a very nice neighborhood but I will not allow my children to go out side by themselves ( Two 13 year old girls and 10 year old boy). My son is not allowed to ride a couple of blocks to meet a friend, I'll bring him over or ride my bike with him and once they are together then I leave, there is saftey in numbers.

I know I sound a little crazy but it's just the way I am. They live with it.

Another ditto here!

We also live in a very nice area.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Finally, really, some of the hyperbole and loaded language in this thread makes it sound like people get terrorized and molested at Disney World all the time. If you look at the court cases, you should be more concerned about Tigger rubbing you the wrong way, or the safety of rides (several people have died at Disneyland in the past few years, as has been well publicized). You are taking your child's life in your hands a thousand times over by getting on an airplane, a car, or putting them on the school bus. Mythical perverts hiding in extremely busy restrooms in Disney World is way, way down on that list.

Although I'm sure I will recieve further critique of my opinion, I think I've stated it about as well as I can, so I will bid this thread adieu. I hope the original poster has at least given some thought to what people have posted, and doesn't allow the "OMG SLASHERS ARE HIDING IN THE TOILETS!" posts scare you into letting your little boy follow nature and become a young man.

Not only does he need the freedom, his future emotional/sexual development (which at 10 is already well underway - again, as any man who was a 10 year old boy can attest) may depend on it.

In any case, I hope the family has a magical vacation!

N.E.D.

Outstanding post! Allow your kids to grow up, make choices, and be responsible for themselves. They can't learn to cope with the real world if they aren't allowed to live in the real world.

Ps. I must be a terrible mother. I started to let my son use the restroom alone when he was about 7. I stood right outside of the door, of course, but he needed the independence and was thrilled to get it.

 

[lllovell]

Outstanding post! Allow your kids to grow up, make choices, and be responsible for themselves. They can't learn to cope with the real world if they aren't allowed to live in the real world.

Ps. I must be a terrible mother. I started to let my son use the restroom alone when he was about 7. I stood right outside of the door, of course, but he needed the independence and was thrilled to get it.

hahaha you aren't a bad mom - you are a bathroom door stalker!!!

The OP isn't a bad mother either of course.

I do agree with letting them grow up and make choices and be responsible for themselves.

 

[marcbelt]

Most 10 yr. olds are not perverted. WE ARE. If you don't want your 10 year old to go into the opposite sex' bathroom alone because you fear a pervert could be in there, then by all means take him/her with you.

Let me put it this way, would you rather have your worst fears realized or have some jerk complain that your child is too old to go to the br with you?

I'm more concerned about my child's safety than what other people's think .

No brainer to me...

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Outstanding post! Allow your kids to grow up, make choices, and be responsible for themselves. They can't learn to cope with the real world if they aren't allowed to live in the real world.

Ps. I must be a terrible mother. I started to let my son use the restroom alone when he was about 7. I stood right outside of the door, of course, but he needed the independence and was thrilled to get it.

I'm glad that worked out for you. There is not a parent in my neighborhood (and yes, it is considered a good one), that would allow their child to play outside out of sight or walk to the neighborhood store by themselves.

I think different areas have different levels of what is "o.k." It seems reasonable to me to apply the same standards in Disney that I would apply at home.

My son does not go to the bathroom at school by himself, they are only allowed to go in pairs.

Incidents happen everywhere. I'm not looking for one, but I am trying to be proactive to prevent it.

That said, hopefully the OP has gotten a good view of the cross section of opinions, and will reap some benefit from this discussion.

Let's all have a magical time at Disney! I promise, my son will be going to the restroom with his father, so none of you will have to see him

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I'm glad that worked out for you. There is not a parent in my neighborhood (and yes, it is considered a good one), that would allow their child to play outside out of sight or walk to the neighborhood store by themselves.

Yes, it's worked out fine, thank you. I think it's sad that there are kids who are never allowed to just run and play because of their parents fears.

 

[yeartolate]

I may not be a parent, but I am a son.

At ten years old, there would have to be quite a commotion to restrain a boy that age. And one would hope the young man would look in the stall beforehand to make sure no one was in there. In the end, you are setting up a whole line of "what ifs" and the only point I am trying to make is that you take chances all the time - and far more children are bothered at school, by school and religious leaders, and 90% of the time by people they know.

Again, everyone will make their own choices - I just think people should be aware of how psychologically damaging this can be to a boy.

As someone who was a 10 year old male, I can tell you - you may not want to hear it mom's, but your kids are in that age where sexual curiousity is right there. Many lifelong sexual patterns are developed at that age. Puberty, and the physical manifestation of it, may not be there yet, but they aren't three or four years old. They understand MUCH more than we'd like (and hope) to believe. That story above about the boy peeking under the stall is a perfect example.

I haven't posted in this thread to tell people they are bad parents - we all agree that it's all about loving your kid. I have posted because I have known men who were treated this way as kids and became very troubled adults. I hope more men will post their feelings - because again, while I may not fully understand a parents view, a mother can never understand what it's like to be a son.

Finally, really, some of the hyperbole and loaded language in this thread makes it sound like people get terrorized and molested at Disney World all the time. If you look at the court cases, you should be more concerned about Tigger rubbing you the wrong way, or the safety of rides (several people have died at Disneyland in the past few years, as has been well publicized). You are taking your child's life in your hands a thousand times over by getting on an airplane, a car, or putting them on the school bus. Mythical perverts hiding in extremely busy restrooms in Disney World is way, way down on that list.

Although I'm sure I will recieve further critique of my opinion, I think I've stated it about as well as I can, so I will bid this thread adieu. I hope the original poster has at least given some thought to what people have posted, and doesn't allow the "OMG SLASHERS ARE HIDING IN THE TOILETS!" posts scare you into letting your little boy follow nature and become a young man.

Not only does he need the freedom, his future emotional/sexual development (which at 10 is already well underway - again, as any man who was a 10 year old boy can attest) may depend on it.

In any case, I hope the family has a magical vacation!

N.E.D.

Stands claps and whistles for Ned!