Seeking help for someone with depression

[Tine731]

I need some guidance. My husband has severe depression and I need to find him help. Where can I start. His doctors are not much help. They know he has depression and they just keep giving him meds. I know there is no magic pill. He needs to talk to someone but who? Suggestions?

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

If your dh will go, get him into counseling! It was so incredibly helpful for me, and it made a huge difference. The best part for me was leanring Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) skills. I was also taking anti-depressants at the time, and the combination was super helpful.

What kind of health care coverage do you have? I've had counseling in the past for depression, and depending on my insurance I've been to an independent counseling service, the behavioral health department at the clinic we used, and through the county social services when I didn't have insurance.

Also, sometimes it takes 2 - 3 months for the meds to really take effect, and some meds don't work for some people. I was on Zoloft for 6 months with little effect, but when I switched to Paxil CR I started noticing a difference within 2 months. My sister had to try various combinations for over a year before she found the "magic formula" that worked for her.

 

[Stacey2grls]

I am so sorry. I know what it is like to live with somone that has depression. It can be very difficult. First, find out about his insurance. Alot of insurance companies cover counseling. You might be pleasantly surprised. Also, do be very supportive. I know this can be hard, he needs your help now, and it might seem hard at times. Meds do take awhile to take effect, but once the right med and dosage are figured out, things should hopefully even out for you both. He is very lucky to have somene like yourself on his side. Good luck to you both.

 

[Tine731]

[What kind of health care coverage do you have? I've had counseling in the past for depression, and depending on my insurance I've been to an independent counseling service, the behavioral health department at the clinic we used, and through the county social services when I didn't have insurance.

We are very fortunate in that regard. We have great medical coverage and we are also in a position money wise that we can pay for the best help out there. I just can't get him to do anything about it. He knows he needs help and always says he is going to change and get help but he never does. He can not get motivated even to get dressed. It has been 16 days since he has dressed or left the house.

 

[C.Ann]

If your insurance will cover it, your DH should really be attending counseling via a mental health center where he would have a therapist as well as a psychiatrist to prescribe his medications..

Primary doctors more often than not don't have enough knowledge to come up with the right medication (or medications) in the proper doses because that simply isn't their specialty.. And without counseling, how will anyone ever determine what is causing his depression and what he can do to help himself?

Most insurances cover these facilities up to a certain number of visits, so I would be surprised if yours didn't..

Good luck! Sometimes it's a long road, but the end result is worth it..

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

We are very fortunate in that regard. We have great medical coverage and we are also in a position money wise that we can pay for the best help out there. I just can't get him to do anything about it. He knows he needs help and always says he is going to change and get help but he never does. He can not get motivated even to get dressed. It has been 16 days since he has dressed or left the house.

That is hard - I had a semester in grad school when I slept about 20 hours a day, rarely showered, or got dressed, wasn't eating much, and didn't leave the house for over a month. I kind of wanted help, but I was ashamed and apathetic and unmotivated and didn't have the energy to do anything about it. What helped was having my friends come over anyway, cook me meals, make me get dressed at least, and sometimes almost forcibly get me out of the house to go do something. At the time I resented their cheerful, forceful attempts to get me going, but it's what I needed. One friend started coming over 3 times a week to open the curtains, turn on all the lights, clean my house, and talk and talk and talk to me.

Hang in there, and you might want to check out counseling for yourself as well. You need support, too, as you care for your DH. Even if he won't go in yet, make an appointment for yourself. Maybe he'd go with you if you're going in?