sdometimes I hate teenage girls

[MorganLeFey]

not mine -- other people's.


my 14 year old is on a camp trip to Cleveland. she was really looking forward to this trip, because they went to Cedar Point yesterday, they're doing the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame today, stuff like that.

she likes cute clothes, so she brought cute stuff -- nothing too expensive, but cute.

when they go on these trips, the camp group stays at a local motel. they assign four kids to a room. usually they allow the kids to pick their own roommates.

so today I get a text message from dd that says

I want to come HOME.

so I call her, and she tells me she's not OK, but that she can't talk. but a little while later, I get another text message that says

This girl ruined like all my stuff she sprayed the entire inside of my suitcase with shavingcream.

I asked her if she told the counselor and she wrote

Yeah and she got into a lot of trouble and i switched rooms now she like hates me.

I've got a call into the woman at camp who runs the travel program.

how do you think I should handle this?

 

[taximomfor4]

That's a really tough one. I don't know your dd, but for mine, I would tell her to ignore and avoid the girl. I would want to talk to the counselors, wanting to know the whole story AND if a "talk" was given or anything.

BTW, this kind of thing used to be a BIG part of the teen groups I was a member of, and the camps I attended. An intiation thing sometimes, and just mindless pranks sometimes. I never got into it, in fact I dreaded it, even when other people were going to be targeted (usually the most popular members' siblings or First Year members.)

Hugs to your dd. Maybe if she pals up with someone else, this other girl won't be able to upset her so much.

As for the stuff, I wouldn't ever send anything that wasn't machine washable to a kids camp, because the clothes won't be getting washed for days! If her stuff is machine-washable, shaving cream won't ruin them...the girl who made the mess should be paying for laundering though.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

That is a tough one. How would you get her home?

I remember those days and do not look forward to my girls getting there.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

I feel so sorry for your dd. Why do girls have to be so mean? I would definitely be anxious to talk to the lady who runs the camp. So your dd probably had not even worn any of this new stuff yet? Let us know what happens. to your dd.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I agree with the previous poster. Shaving Cream, makeup while sleeping, shaving cream in your hand while sleeping, etc. These are all common camp pranks. It's actually a compliment to get pranked like that, although annoying.
Find a way for your dd to hit the hotel laundry room and advise her to drop it.

 

[manchurianbrownbear]

Our DS11 has a good friend, who is also the son of one of my best friends, who plays a lot of mean-spirited “pranks”.

I feel really bad for my DS because I know he doesn’t appreciate it, but they’re good friends so he doesn’t want to get him in trouble. And, if you’re labeled as a “snitch” it is probably worse for you than if you just keep your mouth shut and put up with the “pranks”!

 

[flipturngirl]

When your DD comes home I would sit her down with this other girl and her parents and tell them what has happened. I would tell them that this is not good behavior and (if something was ruined) you expect them to pay for damages... But I would contact the group leaders. I can not believe what people do nowdays. I hope everything works out.

 

[Tiggeroo]

When your DD comes home I would sit her down with this other girl and her parents and tell them what has happened. I would tell them that this is not good behavior and (if something was ruined) you expect them to pay for damages... But I would contact the group leaders. I can not believe what people do nowdays. I hope everything works out

um not if you want your dd to be able to get thru school with these kids. Imagine the talk at school when that girl goes back to class and says, my parents had to go see her parents because of the stupid shaving cream I put in her suitcase.

 

[shortbun]

Our DS11 has a good friend, who is also the son of one of my best friends, who plays a lot of mean-spirited “pranks”.

I feel really bad for my DS because I know he doesn’t appreciate it, but they’re good friends so he doesn’t want to get him in trouble. And, if you’re labeled as a “snitch” it is probably worse for you than if you just keep your mouth shut and put up with the “pranks”!

I just think this is horrible, that a boy should have to put up with bullying because of the boy code. I'm sick of it. The boys who come to my house know I don't put up with it and for that reason, my son and his friends rarely bully each other. I've advised other parents of the no bullying policy at my house and they are trying to do it too. This boy code thing is just ridiculous!!!

OP-ask the woman in charge to get your daughter to a laundry right away and ask that the prankster be sent home. Moving her is simply a reward for bad behavior that should NOT be tolerated and makes other children suffer by having her as a roomate. The fun should be OVER for the bully.

 

[marybet]

I agree with the previous poster. Shaving Cream, makeup while sleeping, shaving cream in your hand while sleeping, etc. These are all common camp pranks. It's actually a compliment to get pranked like that, although annoying.
Find a way for your dd to hit the hotel laundry room and advise her to drop it.

It is one thing to put shaving cream in a kids hand while they are sleeping and quite another to ruin all their clothes. I would not drop it or her DD will be picked on by this girl for a long time.

 

[flipturngirl]

um not if you want your dd to be able to get thru school with these kids. Imagine the talk at school when that girl goes back to class and says, my parents had to go see her parents because of the stupid shaving cream I put in her suitcase.

LOL!! I did not even think of that haha. Okay just then disregard my post intirley. Hmn I would just I dunno haha You are right with that lol I would break down and cry if I were the girl who was told that lol

I agree with the previous poster. Shaving Cream, makeup while sleeping, shaving cream in your hand while sleeping, etc. These are all common camp pranks. It's actually a compliment to get pranked like that, although annoying.
Find a way for your dd to hit the hotel laundry room and advise her to drop it.

But I do not agree with you on that lol. I do not think that it is a compliment to get pranked. It is annoying. At my camp I went to in 6th grade. Outdoor school if we did anything like that we would be sent home. On all school trips I have been to Disneyland, DC, Oregon College Tour next year Oregon College Tour, Disneyland and someplace I do not know yet lol. But if we did anything like that on our trips we would be sent on the next flight home, or greyhound bussed home before you could say "But it was just a joke". So I would think that the girls who did this should be sent home it is not funny. Think of the Parent Trap from the 90's?????

 

[shortbun]

I agree with the previous poster. Shaving Cream, makeup while sleeping, shaving cream in your hand while sleeping, etc. These are all common camp pranks. It's actually a compliment to get pranked like that, although annoying.
Find a way for your dd to hit the hotel laundry room and advise her to drop it.

Common pranks? That's a bunch of carp!!! Filling a suitcase full of clothes with shaving cream is much more than shaving cream in the hand while sleeping; it's vandalism. If we continue to put up with this and don't ask camps to put a stop to it, we condone it. What if the next prank is even more serious or dangerous like over the counter sleeping pills in soda? The pranks should be shut down and pranksters should be sent home. This "prank" was much more than a whoppie cushion.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I'm not saying the girl wasn't wrong. I'm sure there is alot of immaturity involved here as well. I'm just sayint that when parents get involved in kids spats like this they make it harder on their kid. Unless my kid asked or I saw it progress or become a continuous thing I wouldn't say anything else. She was spoken to. Your dd was brave to complain in that setting and is I'm sure a good kid.

 

[almacdonald]

I remember high school trips well (notice I didn't say fondly!)

About 15 students and 3 chaperones went on a sailing trip off the coast of British Columbia. The boats were split into groups of 5 students, 1 chaperone and 1 skipper per boat. Anyway, there were 4 of us really excited to share a boat and it didnt' matter who the 5th person was, we were all excited to be going on this trip. Anyway, the 5th person ended up being a total snot the entire trip and by night 2 or so she was having a complete fit because she wanted to be on the "cool" boat (not my boat btw!) After a long meeting with the chaperones and the members of the "cool" boat the verdict was that their boat was full and they didn't want her on it but if I wanted to switch in to get away from the snot, I could. I stayed put and enjoyed the rest of my trip.

I have another terrible "field trip" story from university. As a geology student we're required to attend field schools, basically 2 weeks out in the mountains, hiking and rock sniffing. I didnt' know anyone in my section and paired up with the last person without a partner. About 3 days into the trip she took our map and compass and took off with another group and left me behind. She's an avid rock climber and I'm the furthest thing from a mountain goat and truth be told I'm a little affraid of falling from any kind of height. The prof for our field school took her side (she walked around our cabin in her bra and panties in front of him!!) I remember calling my mom crying, telling her I wanted to come home NOW.... but, i was in the middle of nowhere Montana with no way home.

I know where your daughter is coming from. Teenage girls are mean and often don't think of the consequences of their actions. If I were in your daughter's shoes, I'd be super PO'ed if I were her. Try to encourage her to enjoy the rest of her trip, try and have some fun. This gives her a reason to do some more shopping.

As for you talking to the chapperone, there's probably not much you can do that would help this situation. Make sure your daughter spoke to the chapperone and explained the whole situation. If you talk to the chapperone it could make the situation worse. At most kids feel that they can stand up for themselves and might step up the "harassment" if your daughter needs mommy to make it better.

Wish your daughter luck next time you talk to her. I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt!

 

[almacdonald]

Oh, and for those of you who think what this girl did is acceptable because it's "just innitiation", well, it's not. It's nasty anyway you try to explain it. Those girls had no respect for the OP's daughter's personal property.

 

[flipturngirl]

Those girls had no respect for the OP's daughter's personal property.

I agree with you..

OP:
I hope that everything works out with your DD and the girl. And just remember in 30 years she will be sitting and laughing about the whole thing.

 

[Hedy]

I commend you for contacting the camp. The concept that this is somehow initiation, etc, is utter baloney, and these girls should know their actions have consequences.

 

[Stacerita]

Those girls had no right to ruin your DD's clothes. Initiation, prank or whatever. It was just mean. They should get in trouble for doing what they did. Makes me think of that movie "Mean Girls". Mean just because they can. Sometimes I hate teenage girls too.

 

[paigevz]

Wow, this happened all the time when I was a kid. I just thought it was part of camp. I never did it, but had it done to me and saw others find it done to them. Sometimes it was worse than shaving cream........one girl had her trunk filled with lake water..................all the way full. It must have taken them a while to do it.

OP, hope you get it worked out for your daughter.

 

[MorganLeFey]

These are a group of girls who, for the most part, have gone to camp together for several years. none of dd's camp friends goes to school with her, though they do hang out together sometimes during the school year.

the girl who did this, though...I don't recognize her name, it sounds like she might be someone new to the camp. I don't know whether she thought it was a good prank to pull on my dd, or whether she has issues with my dd.

my dd seemed fine last night...when I called her cell phone, I could hear her laughing with her friends as she told me "we're at a baseball game, mom, and my battery is low, can't talk now...."

I'm still waiting for the camp coordinator to retunr my call.