School Secretary Need to Vent

[tazdev3225]

My DS went to register my DGS for kindergarten yesterday. Everything went fine until 15 minutes after he got home. The school scretary who has been at the school for quite a few years, and didn't do the registration, called and said that the proof of address wasn't good enough. She wanted 3 more pieces of ID with Jr. on it to prove his address. The district only requires 2 pieces of mail with the address which he had. DH and DS never go by Jr or Sr. DS had to go get his license changed to add Jr. and then she gave him a hard time because it was new. Today my DD registered my DGD at the same school. The secretary was not the one doing it until she saw me and then took over. She went over every piece of ID and had to verify the address was in the school's area, it is. She really gave my DD a hard time over it.
I had problems with the school and its principal when my kids and older DGS went there. It's a long story but the principal went out of her way to harass me when I was the crossing guard there. She has since retired, as have I because of her, but the secretary has stayed. I know it's her job but she actually went out of her way to give both my DS and DD a hard time with this. If they have the required proof and are in the school's area what is her problem? Now I have to worry how much harassment she will give them next year when the 2 kids are there. And yes, she is that petty. All this because I stood up to the old principal when she was giving my DS and me a hard time about his oldest DS. Like I said I know it's her job but really, why the attitude? Sorry this is long but I was really upset about this.

 

[SeaShelley]

I'm sorry that you've not had the best of experiences with this school district and/or this secretary, but - honestly - why are you involved in the process at all ? You went to the registration ? I say let your DS and DD handle this....it sounds like having you involved stirs some old, hard feelings with this secretary (and I'm not saying that it's ok) and it may be best to stay out of it.

 

[tazdev3225]

I'm sorry that you've not had the best of experiences with this school district and/or this secretary, but - honestly - why are you involved in the process at all ? You went to the registration ? I say let your DS and DD handle this....it sounds like having you involved stirs some old, hard feelings with this secretary (and I'm not saying that it's ok) and it may be best to stay out of it.

I'm involved because my DS is living with me and my DD doesn't have a car and I watch her kids. I will be the one that is there everyday next year while DD is at work taking my DGD to school and picking her up. I did not go with DS, his problems yesterday were based on his past experience with her and he warned me of the trouble he had knowing I had to take DD today. I stayed in the hallway with the kids while she took care of business.

 

[Nancyg56]

When my DD registered DGD in the school system they would not accept all of her proof of address, she was pretty frustrated but we did understand. There are a lot of children who would attend using a grandparents address if they were not strict. I took more identification in for her and spoke to the secretary who I had gone to school with. It got straightened out but it did take time.

If there are outstanding issues between you and the school secretary that are interfering with your DD's ability to register her child I would also suggest that you remove yourself from the process. There will be plenty of time later on to interact with your grandchild in school and at that point the secretary will have little to no involvement in the daily activities.

 

[horseshowmom]

The school scretary who has been at the school for quite a few years, and didn't do the registration, called and said that the proof of address wasn't good enough. She wanted 3 more pieces of ID with Jr. on it to prove his address. The district only requires 2 pieces of mail with the address which he had. DH and DS never go by Jr or Sr. DS had to go get his license changed to add Jr. and then she gave him a hard time because it was new.

You'll have to decide whether it's worth it to stir the pot or not, but the school secretary does NOT have the authority to require more information than is required by the school district.

Further, she does not have the authority to make your son get a new license with Jr. on it (or did I misunderstand that?).

If it were me, I'd probably leave it alone to see how things go from here. If you continue to have problems, you (not you personally, but the children's parents) may need to make an appt. with the new principal.

BTW, I work in schools, and school secretaries are generally worth their weight in gold. They take care of everybody and everything. If this person is as difficult as you say, she's overstepped her bounds.

 

[Master Mason]

I would provide the required information, and tell the secretary that her liking or not liking the information simply doesn't matter, you fulfilled your requirements. If she doesn't like the requirements then she can take it up with the school board it's not your problem.

 

[tazdev3225]

When my DD registered DGD in the school system they would not accept all of her proof of address, she was pretty frustrated but we did understand. There are a lot of children who would attend using a grandparents address if they were not strict. I took more identification in for her and spoke to the secretary who I had gone to school with. It got straightened out but it did take time.

If there are outstanding issues between you and the school secretary that are interfering with your DD's ability to register her child I would also suggest that you remove yourself from the process. There will be plenty of time later on to interact with your grandchild in school and at that point the secretary will have little to no involvement in the daily activities.

As I stated in a previous response I was only there because my DD needed a ride to the school. Her last name was enough to create the problem as our last name is not common. I would have registered DGD for my DD but expected a problem and waited until she could get a day off from work to do it herself. I have stayed away from that school since I retired and am more than willing to leave the past where it belongs. She is suppposed to be a professional so I would expect a little more of that in her behavior.

 

[Nancyg56]

I'm involved because my DS is living with me and my DD doesn't have a car and I watch her kids. I will be the one that is there everyday next year while DD is at work taking my DGD to school and picking her up. I did not go with DS, his problems yesterday were based on his past experience with her and he warned me of the trouble he had knowing I had to take DD today. I stayed in the hallway with the kids while she took care of business.

That was why my DD had trouble providing the required information as well. All of the utilities were in my DH name, her vehicle registration and insurance was not enough, apparently it is possible to register in a place you do not live. As a Nana it was a pain to watch, as a taxpayer I understood.

I also watch Kady and take her back and forth to school. There really are not many reasons after this to bother with the secretary but if she does make it difficult for your DGC or you then I would have a chat with the principal.

 

[Justanopinion]

My DS went to register my DGS for kindergarten yesterday. Everything went fine until 15 minutes after he got home. The school scretary who has been at the school for quite a few years, and didn't do the registration, called and said that the proof of address wasn't good enough. She wanted 3 more pieces of ID with Jr. on it to prove his address. The district only requires 2 pieces of mail with the address which he had. DH and DS never go by Jr or Sr. DS had to go get his license changed to add Jr. and then she gave him a hard time because it was new. Today my DD registered my DGD at the same school. The secretary was not the one doing it until she saw me and then took over. She went over every piece of ID and had to verify the address was in the school's area, it is. She really gave my DD a hard time over it.
I had problems with the school and its principal when my kids and older DGS went there. It's a long story but the principal went out of her way to harass me when I was the crossing guard there. She has since retired, as have I because of her, but the secretary has stayed. I know it's her job but she actually went out of her way to give both my DS and DD a hard time with this. If they have the required proof and are in the school's area what is her problem? Now I have to worry how much harassment she will give them next year when the 2 kids are there. And yes, she is that petty. All this because I stood up to the old principal when she was giving my DS and me a hard time about his oldest DS. Like I said I know it's her job but really, why the attitude? Sorry this is long but I was really upset about this.

I learned a long time ago that once you get a reputation at a school, it stays with you for years and can even follow you to other schools in the district. Don't stir the pot any farther. Be careful with every word and action.

How did your DS get a new license so fast? When we had Jr. added to my DSS, it took months. Drivers license wouldn't do it without Social Security card and Social Security didn't want to do it without Drivers license. We had to get all sorts of school records and court records.

 

[tazdev3225]

You'll have to decide whether it's worth it to stir the pot or not, but the school secretary does NOT have the authority to require more information than is required by the school district.

Further, she does not have the authority to make your son get a new license with Jr. on it (or did I misunderstand that?).
While she may not have the authority she was not going to allow my DGS get registered without something that stated Jr on any of the ID to prove that DS lives here.

If it were me, I'd probably leave it alone to see how things go from here. If you continue to have problems, you (not you personally, but the children's parents) may need to make an appt. with the new principal.

BTW, I work in schools, and school secretaries are generally worth their weight in gold. They take care of everybody and everything. If this person is as difficult as you say, she's overstepped her bounds.

I never had a problem with any of the other secretaries and I agree they can make a school run very efficiently. I am not the only person who has had a problem with her but I do agree my kids need to take care of this. My DS will and he will also fight for his sister who is very easily walked on.

I would provide the required information, and tell the secretary that her liking or not liking the information simply doesn't matter, you fulfilled your requirements. If she doesn't like the requirements then she can take it up with the school board it's not your problem.

DS told her he would do this if she didn't back off. He did over what was required because utility bills are all that is needed.

That was why my DD had trouble providing the required information as well. All of the utilities were in my DH name, her vehicle registration and insurance was not enough, apparently it is possible to register in a place you do not live. As a Nana it was a pain to watch, as a taxpayer I understood.

I also watch Kady and take her back and forth to school. There really are not many reasons after this to bother with the secretary but if she does make it difficult for your DGC or you then I would have a chat with the principal.

I have a good relationship with the new principal and that will be the next step.

I learned a long time ago that once you get a reputation at a school, it stays with you for years and can even follow you to other schools in the district. Don't stir the pot any farther. Be careful with every word and action.

How did your DS get a new license so fast? When we had Jr. added to my DSS, it took months. Drivers license wouldn't do it without Social Security card and Social Security didn't want to do it without Drivers license. We had to get all sorts of school records and court records.

The reputation is undeserved. I actually have a good relationship with the new principal and just about everyone else at the school. My DS went to DMV and said he needed to get a new license with a minor name change and that was it. I think he had his Birth certificate with him. I really don't know as I wasn't there but whatever he did worked.

 

[MM27]

Do you have to re-register every year? If so, can you register at the BOE office instead of at the school?

My district requires parents to re-register every year because as bad as my district is, there are districts around us that are worse and parents try to sneak their kids into our district. I know that's not happening with you, but many people do that. Our secretary is very thorough because then the district ends up paying for kids that are not really "ours"

 

[tazdev3225]

Do you have to re-register every year? If so, can you register at the BOE office instead of at the school?

My district requires parents to re-register every year because as bad as my district is, there are districts around us that are worse and parents try to sneak their kids into our district. I know that's not happening with you, but many people do that. Our secretary is very thorough because then the district ends up paying for kids that are not really "ours"

No fortunately once you register it is done with unless you move. Now I just hope she retires soon.