School Field Trips

[87Heel]

Just got another field trip form from the elementary school, and it says NOT to send money, students will NOT be allowed to purchase anything. This is how it is with every elementary trip. We have to pack a brown bag lunch, and no glass bottles.
The only "field trip" that I can recall where money was sent was when the middle school orchestra did a "tour" and played for all of the elementary schools in the district. They had a lunch stop at a restaurant, so we were told to send in money for that.

 

[powellrj]

I have a question for those who buy only their group something, How is the teacher supposed to answer and deal with the other students when they say why did Julie's group get hot chocolate and we didn't? How come I couldn't be in her group? I had money but my chaperone said we weren't supposed to buy anything? Kids talk so the whole class will know. My DD's first grade teacher had to deal with such a situation and she was very angry at the Mom who bought only her group hot chocolate. It also made the rest of us chaperone's look bad because we followed the rules. I mean I certainly could have afforded 5 cups but not 90 so I didn't.

I will answer this the best way I can. The times I have done this have been very, very specific times.

1. The time I bought the sweatshirt and rain poncho for the little girl. I felt that the teacher really put me in a bad situation. Its a drizzly day in Indiana in Nov and the teacher knew the child came to school without a coat. It was maybe 35 degrees. I know the childs mother and I know she can be very irresponsible. I felt that the teacher should have taken the child with her or called the mother and said she couldn't go on the trip unless she brought the child a coat. Neither happened so I had a coatless child at an outdoor zoo. The other children didn't feel left out because they were all feeling so bad for her and were glad to see her get some relief.

2 The ice-cream/ hot chocolate trips. These were also very specific trips. Our school board adopted what I think was one of the stupidest policies ever several years ago. The policy is that teachers don't have a group with them when they go on field trips. They are SUPPOSE to circulate from group to group and offer assistance. This isn't what happens. What happens is you are left with a group of 8-15 kids that you are suppose to keep busy for several hours.

For the ice-cream trip we went to a place called Metamora which has a canal and a mill. Once you rode the canal boat and toured the mill, I was left with 8 4th graders to keep busy for 2 hours. The town was full of antique and specialty shops. The last thing I wanted to do was be responsible for these kids in these kind of shops. It was much easier to take them to an little ice cream parlor and buy them each a cone and then sit under a tree and just hang out. We walked by the shops and looked in the windows, but there was no way I was going into any of them. Maybe I was wrong, but under the circumstances I would do it again. All the kids had brought a little money with them, so the other kids really didn't have any clue that I had bought the cones or if the kids had used their own money. I didn't know who had money or how much they had so that was why I just paid for them myself.


The hot chocolate trip was a civil war re-enactment. That kind of thing keeps kids busy for a while, but not for the several hours we were there. We watched the re-enactment and then we went to a booth and all had hot chocolate that I paid for. Once again, the kids in my group all had money with them, but because I didn't know who had money and how much they had I felt it was just kinder to pay for it myself. The other groups didn't know that I had paid for them. I felt I could keep the kids busy and out of trouble by sitting in a tent with our hot chocolate then letting them run wild around the campfires and campsites which is what many of the groups were doing.


My kids are getting older and my field trip days are coming to an end, but I have to say I DON'T like the fact that we now don't stay together as a group and its up to parents to keep the kids together and busy. I liked the days were you had the entire class touring as a group with your teacher as your leader. I also would prefer kids not take any money on trips with them. Most of the time its up to the parents to keep track of the money and I really don't like having to be responsible for that many kids in a gift shop. There is always the chance something will get broken and as the adult, I really don't want to have to pay to replace the items.

 

[jemiaule]

really, i feel that if you have such strong views on it, then you shouldn't allow your child to be supervised by another kids parents. there should be some level of trust when you send your kid out there with someone you don't know.

While I agree with most of you, and do send extras with my boys for friends that are without, I don't think disykat should be bashed for her choice. While disykat's comment came off as very coarse (no offense disykat but your tone rubbed me the wrong way) let's try to put it into another perspective....

Let's say the child was in trouble for something, for arguements sake let's say stealing, and was specifically NOT given pocket money or the field trip as a reprecussion for what they had done. You, unknowningly, decide to be kind a buy something for the child with no pocket money. You have now caused a backfire on a lesson that was being taught to the child.

Anyway, my point is I truly think disykat did not mean to come off as poorly as she did. My example above was to give another reason why a child may not have money.

 

[KirstenB]

OP, sounds like we all different answers based on the type of field trip/expectations set by the school, etc. Our older daughter is in 3rd grade. They've never gone to a destination with a gift shop, so I've never sent money. They've gone to the pumpkin patch in K, 1st and 2nd grade went to the Nutcracker ballet, and this year they'll go to Jamestown, which does have a gift shop.

I've never sent cash with dd. I pack her an adequate lunch and that's it. She doesn't need "fun food".

I used to manage an historic house with a gift shop. We had hundreds of kids come through each month. Although I wasn't a parent or a teacher, I noticed a lot of the "no nonsense" teachers didn't permit the kids in the gift shop. It was at this job that I decided I wasn't sending my kids in with extra cash. It was sad to see kids with money buying all kinds of stuff, and kids who didn't have money being left out.

 

[WDWfor5]

My kids are getting older and my field trip days are coming to an end, but I have to say I DON'T like the fact that we now don't stay together as a group and its up to parents to keep the kids together and busy. I liked the days were you had the entire class touring as a group with your teacher as your leader. I also would prefer kids not take any money on trips with them. Most of the time its up to the parents to keep track of the money and I really don't like having to be responsible for that many kids in a gift shop. There is always the chance something will get broken and as the adult, I really don't want to have to pay to replace the items.

I so agree with this - I couldn't beleive it when I found that on my DD's kindergarden trip to the Crayola factory, that they were divided into groups and sent off to explore with the chaperones. While there are some parents I trust with my DD, it's certainly not all of them. When I send my DD to school or on a school trip I expect the teacher to be responsible for them. Since then, I always chaperone every trip or request that my DD be in the group with one of the mothers I know.

This new field trip concept is what creates the OP's situation. The teacher is not usually around for most of the trip as in our school she has her own group. So when a kid gets thirsty their is no one to ask what to do and you buy the kid a drink since you'd want the same treatment for your child if you weren't there. And in our school, every trip (one - two per year) the permission slip says spending money is optional. I hate gift shops but if half my group has money I have to go in since the parents were told they could send in money for souveniers So, when I'm in there I will buy somethin small for my DD and any kids in my group that don't have any money - none who have parents who object to stuff but just don't have money or who never remember to send anything in with their child including lunch. My rule is that whatever they buy has to be something they can only buy at that place and will remind them of the trip - so no candy, junk toys, etc. but yes to keychains or trinkets that say the name of the place.

Do I like having to spend the extra money? NO - but I hate to see the sad faces knowing that these kids are always the ones without money for the bookfair, the holiday shoppe at school, etc and so I do. Personally they could outlaw giftshops and that would be great with me but until teh I'll choose to be nice and hope that noe of the parents are like DisyKat who think that because I spend a few of my hard earned dollar to keep their children from feeling left out when everyone else shops that I think you need to buy stuff to have fun or that I am irritating. I'd hope they'd realize I did it to be nice to their child and accept it for what it is.

 

[disykat]

Personally they could outlaw giftshops and that would be great with me but until teh I'll choose to be nice and hope that noe of the parents are like DisyKat who think that because I spend a few of my hard earned dollar to keep their children from feeling left out when everyone else shops that I think you need to buy stuff to have fun or that I am irritating. I'd hope they'd realize I did it to be nice to their child and accept it for what it is.

See, technically you agree with me. How would you know if the parent was irritated that you bought their child something? It's not like I would tell another parent that. As I pointed out, I made my child write a thankyou note for his gift shop trinket. However, on an annonymous message board where we are telling it like it is, I had no problem doing so. I didn't WANT a parent spending their hard earned dollars on a gift shop trinket for my child.

When it all comes down to it, you do what you think is right. However, I don't think you can assume it won't irritate someone just because you were well intentioned.

I know I irritated people with my answer. I'm not offended that people are irritated. They have a different opinion. However, I think it's interesting to hear the opinions of others and how they see things. I see nothing wrong with laying out my honest opinion. I think it's funny that people can be so upset with me for thinking differently than they do.

Oh, and because I upset people so much with my "spending money to have fun" comment, I'll go back and look for the post I was refering to. I wasn't trying to paint everyone with a broad brush.

 

[disykat]

whats the fun in goign on a trip if you can't do any of the fun things. .

Here it is.

 

[dogluva]

I have many children. Some are only one year apart. They usually go on field trips together. So, after paying for the trips themselves, I don't want to hand them more money for gift shops. It gets too expensive. I pick and choose what I buy for my children. They accept this and don't ever ask to go to "gift shops" anymore. They would if they could, believe me, but my answer is usually no so they don't ask anymore. Special occassions, yes. I don't think a gift is needed (or extra junk food). I would rather they focus on the activity instead of obsessing when they would be going to the gift shop. There is nothing in those shops I couldn't get them for less somewhere else. Besidses the fact they don't need more junk.

So, please don't get irritated by us mothers and fathers who decide not to send in extra money. There are reasons behind everything. Some people have to buy a gallon of milk or send in $5 dollars to waste on crap. Tough choice to make but I know what I do.

Don't feel bad for those that have no money. They are not deprived. I learned this after vacationing with my sister. There was nothing left to buy her kids anymore. At first, I was really getting annoyed since her kids flaunted there stuff in my kids faces. But after awhile, I reallized it was her choice to buy stuff, my choice not too (the trip itself what plenty, trust me). My kids realized life is not fair. Soon enough they will work and spend their money on what they want to. They are going to go through life dealing with these types of situations. And by the end of the trip, I would say her kids were not happier than mine.

However, I don't believe there is a need to send in extra money. I also don't believe that chaperones or teachers should feel obligated to buy other children anything. Fine if the want to, but do it because you want to, not because you feel they are being deprived. Water is another story.

I loved the story of the boy sharing his money. You must be so proud.
'

Thanks for letting me share my opinions, I am new.

Marie

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

See, technically you agree with me. How would you know if the parent was irritated that you bought their child something? It's not like I would tell another parent that. As I pointed out, I made my child write a thankyou note for his gift shop trinket. However, on an annonymous message board where we are telling it like it is, I had no problem doing so. I didn't WANT a parent spending their hard earned dollars on a gift shop trinket for my child.

When it all comes down to it, you do what you think is right. However, I don't think you can assume it won't irritate someone just because you were well intentioned.

I know I irritated people with my answer. I'm not offended that people are irritated. They have a different opinion. However, I think it's interesting to hear the opinions of others and how they see things. I see nothing wrong with laying out my honest opinion. I think it's funny that people can be so upset with me for thinking differently than they do.

Oh, and because I upset people so much with my "spending money to have fun" comment, I'll go back and look for the post I was refering to. I wasn't trying to paint everyone with a broad brush.

I think you give yourself too much credit - I really don't see where anyone is all that upset or irritated - we are just doing what you are claiming "thinking differently" and 'telling like it is"!

 

[nuke]

Our school doesn't do a lot of field trips. The ones they do go on are usually a fall pumpkin farm trip and then one to see a play. For both you are to supply your child with a bag lunch. I always send him with a juice box for lunch and then a bottle of water.
If they were to go someplace like a museum I would give him a couple of dollars to put in his pocket. I wouldn't expect him to bring it back though. He would either lose it or buy a snack.

 

[torinsmom]

Well, I am a teacher of 3-6 year old children. We don't ask for money on field trips. We have the kids bring their lunch and a water bottle. We have never been anywhere without a fountain or another water source to refill the bottles if necessary. If it was necessary to get a child a drink, I would ask for a free cup of water; most places have them. Even when we go to the circus, we bring the lunch and water bottles. I have parents bring in $1 each and then we buy huge popcorns for all the children to share(using cups). Even the ones who can't pay get popcorn.

One other important thing to remember is that some children have allergies, or dietary restrictions. With some allergies, traces of the allergen can set off a reaction, and its hard to know what may contain a trace. Or maybe their parent doesn't give them sugar or carbonated beverages at all. Most kids will not tell you this, if they have a chance to get free candy or soda.

That being said, if a parent comes to the circus and wants to buy something for her child, so be it. Thats a personal choice, and I am not going to stop her from buying a souvenir. Of course, ALL our kids have parents coming to that field trip except one(and he will be with me)

Marsha

 

[WDWfor5]

See, technically you agree with me. How would you know if the parent was irritated that you bought their child something? It's not like I would tell another parent that. As I pointed out, I made my child write a thankyou note for his gift shop trinket. However, on an annonymous message board where we are telling it like it is, I had no problem doing so. I didn't WANT a parent spending their hard earned dollars on a gift shop trinket for my child.

QUOTE]

Just for the record -No - I don't agree with you at all. I beleive that everyone should assume the best of other people - how dare a parent be irritated with me because I tried to keep their child from feeling left out? I volunteer my time to go on these field trips - sometimes I'd rather not but the teacher asks because so few parents volunteer. If me buying your child a bottle of water or a cheap trinket like the rest of the group irritates you so much, then you volunteer to chaperone and then no one will buy your child anything. Or if that doesn't work - send a note in to your chllds teacher saying that you don't want any thing extra done for your child and to please have the volunteer chaperone told this. Then the chaperone couldn't inadvertently offend you and you could have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that everything would be done the way you'd like it to be done.

And the reason I'd like the gift shop trips ended is because some parents really don't have the money and it only makes them feel bad about not being able to send in a few dollars and then there's the parents who don't send money in knowing that someone else will cover them on these trips because their child cries at the gift shop when they don't have any money. Then the volunteers and the teacher end up spending money to keep the peace and make things fair. when you add to this the thought that there could be a parent like you who is actually irritated at me for being nice, it's enough to send me over the edge and so I'd rather it outlawed than deal with it.

But in the meantime - I'll continue the way I always have which is to worry about the kids only and not why parent X "forgot" the money again and the kid tells me that mommy doens't have the money when I see mommy driving her brand new Harley around town . Why - because I'm too nice but I know that and I can live with it.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

what I ALSO don't get is that Disykat is a teacher - who's "years of experience" - should have shown her pretty clearly how these things work....so why wouldn't she already have thought to do the things suggested???...send the note, chaperone herself, teach her child to decline - I mean if she feels so strongly about it and so strongly about teaching her child this?????

I know if I felt that strongly I would be proactive.....

for example - we are vegetarian..if I felt that strongly, DD would know to decline hot dogs, etc (in reality she is now old enough I let her make the call - I believe in guiding, not controlling) BUT if a parent unknowingly bought her one, I wouldn't blame them or get irritated - or put out by it...it would be an "oh well, what are you gonna do" moment..I really don't think one instance with a well meaning chaperone is going to undermine what a parent is trying to teach their child - as I mentioned earlier - instead of getting bent - she could have turned it into a teaching moment....

 

[JVL1018]

Ive been on all my daughters field trips because I am the room mom(and was last year in K as well).
No other parent goes except the 2 class parents-no one has ever come on their own--the class, the teachers the class moms all go on the bus.

Lets see, we have gone pumpkin picking both years-no extra money was spent-the kids got the hay ride, picked pumpkins and were provided with donuts and juice-all part of the field trip.

Went to a play-nothing to buy there, so no money was spent.

Went to the police station, obviously no money was spent.

Went to a petting zoo-farm place-at the bottom of that permission slip tehre was a note that said tehre was a small gift shop and parents could sent in money-also noted that most things were $1-$2 so they knew how much to send. Kids brought lunches.I think everyone has a few dollars to spend.

So most of the time, no money, if there will be an opportunity to buy something than a note is added.

When I was a kid, many of my field trips were in NYC since we live in NJ- 5 miles away-no one brought money to see the World Trade Center or the museum or anything, there was no stopping at the gift shop ever-but my Mom always gave me a quarter to put in my shoe in case I got separated from my class and needed to call home. LOL

 

[poohs_hunny]

Most often on field trips--the childrens pack lunch is kept in a separate area. Depending on where you are going--it either stays on the bus until needed or it is carted to where the lunch will be eaten and the group comes at its specified time to eat it (my observations of school groups for field trips we have taken in Florida).

Packing adequate drinks doesn't solve the problem if the children do not have access to them. The school should adequately inform the parents of what is needed and if water is needed and they don't communicate that, they should indeed provide that water or easy access to it. (and yes I have seen groups tote a wagon with one of those HUGE igloo water dispensers with cups. Problem solved. )

I certainly never said that the school shouldn't inform parents about the need for drinks, but I think it's ridiculous to expect teachers or chaperones to tote a huge water jug with them!

 

[disykat]

what I ALSO don't get is that Disykat is a teacher - who's "years of experience" - should have shown her pretty clearly how these things work....so why wouldn't she already have thought to do the things suggested???...send the note, chaperone herself, teach her child to decline - I mean if she feels so strongly about it and so strongly about teaching her child this?????

I know if I felt that strongly I would be proactive.....

....

You are honestly cracking me up. You say giving myself too much credit to think people are irritated by my opinions, yet you keep quoting me over and over and calling me out.

One time, one of the few times I haven't chaperoned on a field trip, a parent treated my child. Yes, I was irritated by it - why is that so bothersome to you? My 2nd grader wasn't sophisticated enough to say no thank you to an adult and have them accept that. I thought it was unnecessary and I didn't want my child having treats that the whole class didn't have. No big deal, but that was my opinion.

I know my years of experience comment bothered you. I was simply trying to express that, yes, I have been going on field trips for 25 years - either as a teacher or a parent. That comment was in the context of mentioning that this issue is relatively new - something that others have also brought up.

People obviously have a very different opinion than me of what the word irritate means. In my dictionary it says " to exite to impatience or angry feeling, often of no great depth or duration." While I'm thinking irritated means mildly annoyed for a brief time, others seem to see it as red hot angry.

 

[almburr]

On our fiels trips at our school almost every student has at least one parent go. once the bus is full other parents load up in thier cars. Our field trips are at least 2hrs away. We go to the Denver Zoo, Salina Zoo. Archway in Kearney NE. Museum in Hays. A lunch is brought and $ for supper. Everyone brings a little extra. Other parents pitch in when other parent dont send enough. One boys parents sent $2 for supper He was at the store the night before buying beer and cigs. The ones who can, help out the others who cant. Its sad to see a kid get nothing. Even other kids share a little.

 

[disykat]

QUOTE]
But in the meantime - I'll continue the way I always have which is to worry about the kids only and not why parent X "forgot" the money again and the kid tells me that mommy doens't have the money when I see mommy driving her brand new Harley around town . Why - because I'm too nice but I know that and I can live with it.[/QUOTE]

There it is again - assuming that parents "forgot", didn't care enough, or didn't budget well enough to send in money. My whole point was to point out that many parents purposely do not send money. Something that is also showing up on the poll above.

I guess it's okay to be condescending about parents who don't send money but not okay to be irritated by parents that might be "nice" enough to buy things for my child and then quite possibly make snarky comments about parents that caused them to do so? (I'm not saying all parents who buy stuff for the kids do that, just that quite a few posters here have)

I don't get why war has to break out over a topic as inconsequential as this.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

There it is again - assuming that parents "forgot", didn't care enough, or didn't budget well enough to send in money. My whole point was to point out that many parents purposely do not send money. Something that is also showing up on the poll above.

I guess it's okay to be condescending about parents who don't send money but not okay to be irritated by parents that might be "nice" enough to buy things for my child and then quite possibly make snarky comments about parents that caused them to do so? (I'm not saying all parents who buy stuff for the kids do that, just that many here have)

I don't get why war has to break out over a topic as inconsequential as this.

I keep calling you out because you won't address how you can possibly get so "irritated" (your word!!!) over a kind gesture where the person could not have possibly known they were doing wrong...and you really haven't answered that....

I also do not think it is wrong to assume parents forgetting or not being able to send in money - those are the two most likely scenarios - yours is so out there as to be pretty rare....and again, you should probably make it known that no one is to buy anything for your child if you are so adamant about it...and you are so easily irritated by it.....

once again, no "war", I am not "bothered by your experience", not "irritated"...just taking part in a discussion and calling it as I see it - nothing more.......I think maybe you keep making more of those things because a few of my points are actually valid (and WDWfor5's point about assuming the best of people) and you would rather make over the top statements about others than address the actual questions and points that have been made...but that's just IMHO.....

I stand by my observation that you must be terribly jaded to think this way about people..and again, it isn't about your thinking differently in what you teach your kids, it is about your thinking the worst of others. I have made that pretty clear...ah well, you see what you want, sometimes I'm not sure you are even reading my posts except to pick out how "upset" I am - and you're wrong on that point as well.....

It saddens me you are a teacher.....I hope the teacher's in my own DD's life have a far better attitude and outlook on life - and more understanding and compassion for others and their motivations...

so you see I am saddened and confused as to how someone can be so negetive....nothing more....

 

[Pigeon]

The teachers at our kids' school are very good about telling us if money is required to be sent with the children. Usually it is not, as we will have sent in money collected by the teacher if there is anything the kids need to buy. But I don't just send in random amounts of cash with the child.