School Discpline Issue

[Cindy B]

No big deal... you are completely overreacting.

Don't sweat the small stuff... and honestly this is a small thing. Raise a stink about the big things!

 

[Annie68]

Am I wrong? Overreacting?

I think you may have overreacted on this one mom, but you aren't the first. It does get easier. My DS's first grade teacher told us that she promised not to believe 90% of the stories about us, if we did the same for her!

 

[AKLRULZ]

I think you overreacted, as well.

 

[phorsenuf]

I think you are overreacting. From what the principal said, he told him three times to get up. That is enough to warrant the time out. You even admit that he tends to 'daydream' and in school that is a problem. I think I would be talking to him about that. If you think it is possible medical problem, talk to his pediatrician. If he is just daydreaming, maybe the embarrassment of the time out will remind him to pay closer attention?

If the principal did think he was being defiant (which it probably appeared to be), a time out in the hall way is definitely warranted. Yes, even a first grader, even the first week of school.

Perfectly said!

Maybe you should send a note to school telling staff to allow him to daydream and not punish him for it.

I'm sorry, but that made me laugh. Guess I'm in a weird humor mood today.

 

[Pinnie]

I am in the overreacting camp as well. What if there had been an emergency and the child made the choice to continue laying down on the floor??? Face it, he was told 3 times to get up and made the choice NOT to. Kids need to learn there are consequences for choices.

pinnie

 

[phorsenuf]

Like someone else said, pick your battles.

Let me tell you a little story.
My DS-16 was accused of cheating a few years ago. I was livid because I knew there was no way he would cheat. Now he was not a perfect child. He'd gotten a detention or two and even though I was on the fence about them I never contested it because I didn't think I should.
So anyways, when I find out about the whole cheating thing, then I got involved. Told them no way would he have cheated. They said yes if you look at the papers they are almost identical, even the spelling mistakes. Well, my son has a learning disability and spelling is not his thing, not even close.
So here he is, sitting next to a girl who happens to be an autrocious speller as well? Nope, she never had spelling issues in the past and after comparing papers they realized she copied off of him. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

My point is I think if I had been one of those mothers that took issue with every little discipline matter they probably would have poo-pooed me.

Next time, if it's something minor, let it go. You may need to contest something major later on and you don't want the complaining mom label attached.

 

[Frantasmic]

What is missed here, I think, is that the principal is probably not the regular gym teacher. He was temporarily subbing for a moment, so he didn't know all the kids regular behaviour patterns. He did react a bit, but he acted just like most principals/managers/bosses would "jump when I say jump!"

I think he could have handled it better with a little empathy: Look, OP's DS's name, I'm new to gym too and I could really use your help when I say to do something, you need to do it, okay.

That would have been nice, but he may not have had the time to devote that to your son at the time.

You did overreact, IMO, and could have used some empathy yourself.

 

[golfgal]

It is called selective hearing, there is nothing medically wrong, he chose not to listen. It happens all the time. I think you way over reacted. Removing kids from a situation, sending them to the hallway, is a totally appropriate action, especially the first weeks of school. The appropriate response from you would have been to tell your son that he needs to listen to directions.

 

[KelNottAt]

No big deal... you are completely overreacting.

Don't sweat the small stuff... and honestly this is a small thing. Raise a stink about the big things!

ITA

 

[bananiem]

You also have to take into account that teachers will often be pretty strict to start the school year off, then lighten up as the weeks go by. That way you've established how far you're willing to let them "push" you. So yes, your son was made to be an example for the class. But if he wasn't listening it was fair.
I vote over-reacting too.

 

[bubie2.5]

I have to go with overreacting.

 

[Skatermom23]

It is called selective hearing, there is nothing medically wrong, he chose not to listen. It happens all the time. I think you way over reacted. Removing kids from a situation, sending them to the hallway, is a totally appropriate action, especially the first weeks of school. The appropriate response from you would have been to tell your son that he needs to listen to directions.

Agreed. While you might have the time to get down at the childs level and look him in the eye to make sure he is listening, this isn't always realistic in a school setting. It takes up too much time and takes away from the other kids who are listening.

 

[tw1nsmom]

If your son doesn't have a hearing problem, or an auditory processing disability, then he deserved to be punished and you are probably overreacting a little. If even half the students had to be told three or four times to do something, then nothing would get accomplished in a day.

Having said that, I don't like it when a child (particularly a young one) is sent to stand in the hallway alone. If a child has impulse/listening problems to begin with, who knows what they'll do alone in the hall. Of course, I also have a DS who has a disability and is super compliant. He will go anywhere and do anything that another child or adult tells him to do. He really needs to be supervised. I think it would have been more appropriate to have him sit against the wall of the gym in time out, or go to the office.

 

[grlpwrd]

I, too, think you overreacted, but yeah, you're not the first.

I asked DS why and he said he didn't really know, except that he didn't hear the principal and the principal got mad...


I was shocked at this. DS has never been a defiant child, so I asked him about it, and he told me again that they were supposed to lay down, and he didn't hear the principal tell him to get up.

That's your son's version. Not saying he lied or anything, but there's always 3 versions to a story and he may have been more defiant than presumed. He was asked 3 times by a principal and your son said 'he didn't hear the principal tell him to get up' ? No way would I let my child get away with that, but that's just me.

I do think after you essentially chewed out the principal you also risk having a stigma as one of "those moms."

 

[Serena]

It's hard to be objective when our babies aren't with us.
Yes, you over reacted, and I think you need to apologize to the principal, and I think you need to talk with your son again. He wasn't paying attention so he got sent into the hall, no big deal. But you made it into one.

My oldest played me quite a bit. I would be outraged when I thought she was getting into trouble for nothing. She had been playing on my sympathies,
Until I started going in to talk to the teachers with her. Walking down the hall all of a sudden her story would change.
Later after hearing her vent, I'd ask her what she thought her teacher would tell me when I asked. The operative word there is "when".
It helped a lot.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree that there was a serious case of Mama Bear coming out!
I have to admit that I can be guilty myself. I can be one serious Mama Lioness when it comes to protecting my son, as he does have a learning disability and is special needs.

To the OP, I can see how you got all worked up and 'vented'. But, as the others have said, it is important to pick your battles. If you come off as one of 'those parents', as I have here on the DIS, you will lose credibility up at the school.

I also agree with twinsmom when she says that a new first grader seems a bit too young to be placed outside in large hallway without supervision. (I am assuming that it is a large hallway outside of a gymnasium. In our school the Gym is on the main thouroughfare.) Even if was a not a large hallway, the child should have simply been 'put on the bench'.

Okay, everyone here is assuming that since the child has had a hearing test that he does not have hearing problems. NOT TRUE. There are plenty of other hearing difficulties that might not be picked up on a simple hearing screening. Like CAPD for instance. There could be issues where the brain has difficulty distinguishing sounds in the type of loud and noisy environment that a bunch of kids in an enclosed gym might present.

Could be that his hearing is just fine, but something just seems 'off'. I know that most kids can become 'mama deaf', but most will ALWAYS listen to a principal! Also, I am wondering why he would have been actually laying down. It just doesn't ring right that kids would be told to LAY on the gym floor. Maybe sit in a circle for instruction, etc.. But the laying just doesn't hit me right.

Could your DS have been overtired and have issues with sensory overload??? The laying back and retreating into ones own little world is a classic way that kids with sensory overload attempt to handle it when they become what I call 'sensory-exhausted'.

Hugs to your son!!! I'll bet he is over this much quicker than you are as his mom!

 

[mickeyboat]

If this had happened with my first graders, I would have told my kids they needed to pay closer attention in gym class. I would not be very concerned about standing in the hall, since the gym is right next to the office at our school. OP - I agree, you overreacted.

Denae

 

[Mom2Ashli]

I would agree with the others you overreacted.

The teacher told him 3 times to get up and he didn't realize he was the only one still laying down?

I would have told DD that she really needs to try and pay closer attention in class to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Pick your battles you have a long road ahead.

 

[MareQ]

I don't think standing in the hallway for a time-out is a really big deal. I know that it is frustrating when a student seems to be ignoring the teacher & some kind of consequence should be in order.

I agree. No big deal IMO.

 

[kevw67]

as a Phys. Ed. teacher of elementary children, it is so good to hear people actually taking the side of the school. You dont know how many times I hear "My son would never do that" even though they did it right in front of me! I agree that mom overeacted a little considering the fact that the Principal was teaching PE that day. While Principals should know every effective classroom management techinque there is, that doesn't mean they know how to implement them. Personally, I would have had the student sit out until they were ready to listen. When they are ready to listen they come in on their own and that tells me they have made the choice to pay attention and follow directions. IT IS THEIR CHOICE! Now they must follow the rules, or out they go again and this time for good. They made the choice to not listen or break my rules and now they suffer the consequences of their actions. This works great for me because 99% of elementary students want to have Phys. Ed. Mom shouldn't worry about these little speed bumps on the road to graduation. Im sure her son will forget about it and have a great time next class.