School board OKs return to classroom after sex change

[paigevz]

But I don't see where this teacher was ever saying they intended to discuss the surgery or their reasoning behind it with the kids. All they wanted was the right to do what they have done for the past five years, and by all accounts, done well. Teach.

Anne

She didn't say that. I brought it up. The only reason I brought it up was as explanation why I originally thought I would take my child out. Then, as I said, I decided that he'd know it had happened and can't be sheltered from the world forever, so I wouldn't take him out, but I'd want to explain to him myself, any questions he would have about it. I was in a hurry when I posted that, and wasn't very clear, so another poster thought I was saying she would do that. I really was worried about administration deciding they had to "address concerns" before she returned to the classroom, as in my experience, they often want to do. It's gotten turned around a bit in the further discussion. Sorry about that.

 

[DawnCt1]

I think men should be men and women should be women. Sorry, wanting to change your sex is not normal.

There's the rare cases of people of those I feel sorry for: those being born with both female and male organs, but I understand this is NOT the case for most transexuals.

You are right; wanting to change your sex is not normal. That is why transexualism is considered a disorder. Not all cases are resolved with surgery. Sometimes surgery isn't the answer for some patients. Some patients are satisfied living their lives as the opposite sex without having to resort to surgery. In some cases surgery causes more problems of adjustment than it was expected to resolve. That is why a thorough, lengthy and comprehensive evaluation is absolutely necessary before any treatment decisions can be made.

 

[taximomfor4]

Wow, I like to think I am open minded about most things & accept people who are not evil for who they are. But I would have a very hard time with this. I believe in reincarnation & we choose the body & life we live. Sometimes females come down in male bodys. I really do not know what I would do if this was my childs school. I find it creepy.

Why does it not bother those of you who are ok with it? Are you really %100 ok with your childs teacher doing this?

I had not yet posted to this thread, but I will now...
I have a very close family member who made the switch (male to female). I will say that the final result, even after about 15 yrs of hormones, electrolysis, etc is not very convincing. But it makes ...her...happy. She started out a big, strong, masculine man and now looks like a manly woman. This is someone who helped raise me. I have had many years of the kids just calling her by her name, but as the kids got older and knew what gender is, I simply explained a little more. Only my oldest (12 now) knows the whole story. The others have no idea who this person was to me for many years.

If this happened with a teacher, I would tell the kids (if they noticed, which they probably would) that the details are none of our business, and because the teacher is still their teacher, they must be respectful at all times.

My kids have met several cross-gender people (all male to female) and have noticed something, but have not really batted an eye...sort of like if they see a blind person using their white cane, or if they see sign language being used. Or if they see someone with a startling hair color. They look, they seem to process, they move on.

 

[yeartolate]

I think it would have been more appropriate if she couldn't have started out in a different class room, in a different school without taking a public history with her. I used to work on a surgical floor back in the 1970's that did sexual reassignments. My experience in caring for them post operatively was primarily male to female. They would have frequent rehospitalizations for certain procedures and my overall impression is that they tend to be exhibitionistic and flamboyant. Almost like carricatures of women. I had the sense that they had to "learn" how to be women. It wasn't unusual for them to be admitted with extremely sexy lingerie, complete with hot pink boas. Some required heat lamp treatments to private areas and it was an issue to have them keep the curtain pulled during treatments. I tried counseling, attempting to teach culturally acceptable "female behavior" with regard to modesty, etc. With one patient, the only recourse we had was to move her to a private room and then it was a issue of keeping the door closed.

I used to have to float out of the ICU to the Plastics floor when I worked in Virginia - my experience could not have been more different. (all male to female) Frankly, most were too uncomfortable (in a post op way) to put on a show even if they wanted to. I am wondering if perhaps your patients weren't screened as well.

 

[In a hurry]

Absolutely! And as a respected teacher, you knew what was appropriate for a classroom. If this teacher had such a track record, then she too would know how to sensitively answer any questions that might arise. I don't think the school board would have reinstated her if they thought she was going to use the third grade classroom as a bully pulpit

But if a child asked you why you were pregnant - wouldn't it be appropriate to answer vaguely, but sensitively like "we love children". So if a child asked "why did you become a woman" - wouldn't it be appropriate for the teacher to answer in a sensitive way - "because I was a woman inside" or something to that effect? Instead of "ask your parents why I became a woman?" Or "ask your parents why we are having a child?"

A person doesn't have to be a bully to step up to the pulpit, either. It is hard to not share what is important to you, was what I meant. It is very easy for me to speak long and hard on the evils of drunk driving, so I have to be on guard to not do so when it isn't appropriate. I was just stating my opoinion, and not saying this woman was going to be a jerk, btw.

I have no problem with a nice vague answer to most questions! And then...back on task!

 

[MAKmom]

Absolutely! And as a respected teacher, you knew what was appropriate for a classroom. If this teacher had such a track record, then she too would know how to sensitively answer any questions that might arise. I don't think the school board would have reinstated her if they thought she was going to use the third grade classroom as a bully pulpit

But if a child asked you why you were pregnant - wouldn't it be appropriate to answer vaguely, but sensitively like "we love children". So if a child asked "why did you become a woman" - wouldn't it be appropriate for the teacher to answer in a sensitive way - "because I was a woman inside" or something to that effect? Instead of "ask your parents why I became a woman?" Or "ask your parents why we are having a child?"

I can't believe you would not want to be the one to explain this to your child.
I did not read this was a " Respected teacher anywhere" He was a salesman for 33 years not a long time teacher. He's only a subsitute teacher.

alot of teachers are great, some are so so & some are wack jobs. But they have contracts. I have had to question my childrens teacher about things they have said. To have this subsitute explain anything about this to a child is CRAZY. The schools always send letters home & ask the parents to talk to thier children about deaths, illness ect. This is an illness/disorder.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I can't believe you would not want to be the one to explain this to your child.
I did not read this was a " Respected teacher anywhere" He was a salesman for 33 years not a long time teacher. He's only a subsitute teacher.

alot of teachers are great, some are so so & some are wack jobs. But they have contracts. I have had to question my childrens teacher about things they have said. To have this subsitute explain anything about this to a child is CRAZY. The schools always send letters home & ask the parents to talk to thier children about deaths, illness ect. This is an illness/disorder.

Yea, but the answer "I was a woman on the inside", doesn't really explain anything. If my dd asked her teacher why she changed genders, yes, I would much rather the teacher answer by saying this, than by saying "ask your parents". That, IMO, would be much more confusing and strange for a 7yo to hear, because how on earth would her parents know better than the teacher, why the teacher changed genders?

As far as an in-depth explanation, yes, I think that should come from the parents, not the teacher. However, as someone else mentioned, there is nothing in this news article that would indicate the teacher had any intention of explaining anything to the kids. Just like a pregnant teacher, I would expect a quick little vague answer from the teacher and if the kids press further, they'd be told to discuss it with their parents. No big deal. Why expect a transexual teacher to be less discreet than a pregnant teacher?

 

[nliedel]

One of my boys saw a newsclip about it when they were walking through the living room (the eight year old). He stopped, looked and asked me about it. I told him it was an option but it was a very difficult life and took many years and most people would not want to do it. He said, "I am happy being a boy" and that was the end of it. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and it not as big a deal to them as it is to us. He went out to play and that was that.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Wow. Spin it however you want, and if it is the case for you and your kid(s) then it is.

But it is not the case for many others, and many parents, myself included, would want to give a much more detailed explanation that corresponds to our belief system. If you don't choose to, that of course is your business. Just don't lump everyone together, b/c everyone obviously doesn't believe the way you do, just as everyone doesn't believe the way I do.

13 years ago, when your child was 7, in 1993, things were a lot different than being 7 now, in 2006. Much different.

Bolding mine.

See, you are saying that this is your choice to give your kids a detailed explanation. That's fine, and you're entitled to do so. Those of us who suggested small, vague explanations, were doing so in response to the freaked out parents in the article who said things like "I don't want this being brought into my child's psychology!" So, which is it? Do you (not necessarily just you, Disneyguy, but the general "you"), do you want your kids to learn about it or not? If yes, explain it in accordance with your beliefs. If not, you can give them a vague answer, or say "we'll talk about it when you're older", whatever you want. The mere fact that transexuals exist and your kids might meet one, is not at odds with your control over how the subject is handled in your own home.

 

[DawnCt1]

I used to have to float out of the ICU to the Plastics floor when I worked in Virginia - my experience could not have been more different. (all male to female) Frankly, most were too uncomfortable (in a post op way) to put on a show even if they wanted to. I am wondering if perhaps your patients weren't screened as well.

Don't forget that hospitals stays were longer in the 1970's and many of our patients came back for readmissions for dilitations, follow up minor procedures,etc. Many came in after discharge just to say "hello". I do think that all of those that had surgery were happy with the change.

 

[cardaway]

Bolding mine.

The mere fact that transexuals exist and your kids might meet one, is not at odds with your control over how the subject is handled in your own home.

 

[yeartolate]

Don't forget that hospitals stays were longer in the 1970's and many of our patients came back for readmissions for dilitations, follow up minor procedures,etc. Many came in after discharge just to say "hello". I do think that all of those that had surgery were happy with the change.

My experiences were primarily in the early 1980's. Despite their relatively lengthy stays, I cannot think of any that displayed the behavior that you frequently had experience with. Most that I encountered seemed more interested in blending in than standing out. If this behavior was the norm, I wonder if the screening process was as rigorous as it should have been.


Back to the original topic. Frankly, I would not want to have that talk with my child, but there are alot of talks that I must have with my child that I am not comfortable with - but I am a Mom and I must. I have no problem holding this teacher to the same standards as her coworkers.

 

[weare6travelers]

I just recently read Trans Sister Radio Its about a man who makes the very hard decision to have reconstrution surgery even though he has fallen in love with a women. Its set in a small town in Vermont and he is a professor at a local college. The ending was a little strange,but otherwise it was an eye-opening book.