Scared & need your thoughts -DD is getting notes

[christinou]

I just feel absolutely awful for your family, take good are of that little girl, I certainly believe that you are doing everything possible to solve this....

 

[AnaheimGirl]

The school police have been involved. From what I've read (and I read this thread daily), the parents themselves have not contacted the police.

And I don't seen anyone being condescending. Many people (including myself) are just trying to understand why certain things are/are not being done. I watch a lot of Law and Order so I guess my questions stem from me being influenced by that show

She has said that the police department representative for the school has been involved. She (or another Canadian, perhaps) explained that they are not talking about a school rent-a-cop, but an actual police officer, who just happens to be assigned to the school as it's rep. Remember, she is in Canada and some of the terms and policies may be different than what we are used to in the U.S.

I've seen a lot of condescension in this thread, a lot of assumptions and a lot of demands for answers. (Not saying it was you, I haven't paid much attention to the usernames.) Also not saying it was 100% intentional... sometimes it can come across that way, when someone is just trying to learn more and come up with ideas to help. (ETA: if my prior posts came across that way, I apologize)

Let's try to remember that Tantor is going through a terrifying ordeal and she is here seeking support. Let's be gentle as we try to understand and help.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

The school police have been involved. From what I've read (and I read this thread daily), the parents themselves have not contacted the police.

And I don't seen anyone being condescending. Many people (including myself) are just trying to understand why certain things are/are not being done. I watch a lot of Law and Order so I guess my questions stem from me being influenced by that show

ONCE again, since some people aren't getting it, an SRO (School Resource Officer) is a POLICE OFFICER (employed by the City, County, however it works up there, NOT THE SCHOOL), so the police have been contacted.

Quit watching police shows, most of that that stuff does not really happen.

Tantor, I hope this gets resolved in the very near futute. I would be beside myself.

 

[luvmyfam444]

I'm still baffled on why all the sudden they think it's a student?? Did I miss something? HOw were the adults weeded out?
I also would think that the teacher is locking her classroom door everytime they leave fore lunch/recess, etc....then no one could get in unless they had a key....
I'm with the rest here--things just aren't adding up. I can't believe the teacher hasn't seen the notes yet....I would have thought dd would have taken the 1st to the teacher & "tattle tell" that someone mean gave the notes to her....how can the teacher help find the author if she can't even look @ the handwriting?!?! Sorry but that's DUMB! What were "they" doing until 7p.m, that evening? I sure would have thought they would have been going over kids handwriting comparing to the notes....guess I'm wrong there....Just don't get it.
I definitely agree that not enough is being done!!!!

 

[DoeWDW]

I think many people here are asking questions about the exact details of what is going on. Honestly, there is no way that Tantor can or should answer all these questions. She's a bit busy handling the situation and trying to keep her daughter safe and sane during this time.

I, for one, have confidence that Tantor and her husband, the school authorities and the police are all doing the right things to handle this situation. Second-guessing them is NOT what Tantor needs from us. What she does need is a safe place to vent and caring positive support from the DIS community.

Tantor, you and your family continue to be in my prayers. Sending a for you and all involved and keeping positive thoughts headed your way.

 

[Patty3]

I worked for our county PD. As Miss Jasmine stated SRO is a school resource officer, works for the PD and is assigned to a particular school. When the officer writes his report it is forwarded to the Juvenile Bureau and a detective is assgined. That is how our county handled these situations and this is probably what has happened here.

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I am praying that this will be solved ASAP.

 

[Tantor]

Goodmorning. It was nice to sleep in this morning.

It was not our school rep police ( who is an officer) it was another police officer that came in.

DD is a very well rounded kid and is an A and B student. She is involved in lots of activities in the school. It could be that someone is jealous of her.

The teacher did see the notes but I learned on Thurs.(yesterday) after school that she does not have copies of the notes. How stupid is that.

The last 2 notes on Thurs. The one girl had it on her sweater elbow that she was wearing (intersting how talking to DD you get the facts, the principal did NOT do that) They had just come in from recess so it could have been on her jacket and transfered to her sweater.
The other was on a backpack outside the room.
At this point I don't think it's anyone in her classroom. This kid knows people are watching and is still brazen enough to keep doing this.
There are not alot of adults (besides the teachers) in the school.

Dh sent an email stating that now that other kids are being targeted that other measures need to be addresses besides the Principal and Vice occasionally walking up and down the halls. How much longer will that go on.
We recieved a very snotty note from the Principal. We have gone there route now my DH is going his. He is calling Principal today to see what she is prepared to do( believe me he will not back down) then the director and the police officer will be contacted. He is also prepared to go to the media with this.
They boast Safe schools but yet ALL the kids in the classroom as scared.

We have a wonderful school it's the principal that is the twit here. By the way other parents have had problems with her so it's not just us.

Will update.

 

[cristit14]

No advice, just hugs.... I hope this is resolved soon.

 

[Aidensmom]

Thank you for the update. I really hope it all gets resolved soon!

 

[Tantor]

and by the way when they find this kid they will have to hold me back...................................

 

[Nancy]

Thanks for the update. You played by their rules (which is exactly what I would have done) and they don't seem as concerned about it as they should. Now is the time to go a step furthur. The thought that it could be anybody that has connections to the school (child, maint. staff, teacher etc.)should make them a bit more concerned then they are.

 

[SillyMe]

Holy Crap! I haven't been around lately, so I just saw this now. I don't have time to read through all the responses, but that is very frightening. I hope your daughter and the other students stay safe and that you get to the bottom of it.

 

[horseshowmom]

Thanks for the update. You played by their rules (which is exactly what I would have done) and they don't seem as concerned about it as they should. Now is the time to go a step furthur. The thought that it could be anybody that has connections to the school (child, maint. staff, teacher etc.)should make them a bit more concerned then they are.

I agree with this completely. I suspect that letting them know that you're getting ready to go to the media will get you some action (I know that our Supt. HATES negative media attention, and this would be prime media interest).

Good luck!

 

[chasbos]

Just read though the posts and all I can say is WOW!

Enjoy your day at home with your DD, she will feel safe with you.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of yahoo's run our schools here in Ontario.

 

[Disney Doll]

thank you harambeguy,

I am very very sorry, and I do realize that negligent is a strong word.

And, I can see that the OP may have thought that dealing with the school was enough. I am trying to see her perspective here. I am not simply 'turning' on her!

However, I can find no other word to describe the failure to go directly to the Police Dept, and to file a report on a death threat.

Hugs to the OP!!!!

Interesting...call her negligent and then send her a hug...

 

[Disney Doll]

Wow...




Please realize that nobody here has really turned on you.

Actually several people have turned on the OP, and been far less than supportive, have actually been rude and suggested that she is not doing enough to protect her child.

 

[Tink215]

Here's hoping you have a stressfree day today with your DD........Enjoy!!!

 

[damo]

Karen, you should call your trustee and your superintendent (their names should be on every school newsletter that you have received). As soon as you tell them that your daughter has received death threats, you will get immediate attention. You can also contact the head of your school council for advice. I have been head of school council before in a school not far from you and have had to deal with negligence by a principal. Whenever you are not getting satisfaction from your principal, these are the next ones in line to call. Trustees will set a fire under the superintendent's and Principal's butt. I have been very happy with action taken from my trustee in the past. Since other children are now getting these notes, it seems like the focus has been taken off the incident as a personal threat. It really seems like this is the work of a few kids who think it is a big joke. Although it is still a dangerous situation, I see it as less of a personal threat to your daughter. Don't back down and when the perpetrators are caught, make sure the suspensions are directly proportional to the amount of stress and anxiety this has caused you and your family.

 

[Pooh93]

and for all of you. It sounds as if the perpetrator(s) are becoming more brazen if other kids are now receiving the notes. They will slip up and be caught. Hope this is all resolved soon. Hang in there.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

Wow, I've been following this thread since the very beginning and can feel how frustrated you must be Tantor. I hope they catch this sicko and quick.

I'm going to try & offer some suggestions to some of the posters here who are questioning the way things are being done. The school does have to follow certain procedures, unfortunately. When someone's life is threatened, however, I think they need to focus on THAT first and put the procedures second. But that is in a perfect world...

They must have their reasons for believing it's a kid doing this and that could be why they aren't pulling out all the stops-"they" being the school and police. I would believe handwriting analysis and fingerprinting could be costly. Maybe they feel since it's a kid, it's not as serious as if it were an adult? I don't know. I do know that it can be and that kids have killed other kids etc. So please don't flame me for saying that. It seems the authorities should be doing more. I don't know why they aren't, but it sounds as if Tantor is on top of the situation.

As for the police/resource officer issue, in an earlier post (way early on) I wrote to go to the police, but I didn't know they had a resource officer in the school. I never thought of that. I'm sure that many others are like me-it's not that I didn't think of the RO as a "real" officer-I just overlooked the possibility that there could be one in the school. I live in a smallish town and we only have them in the high schools and jr highs.

There's also the issue of setting up a hidden camera. How would that affect the privacy rights of the other students etc. I have a special needs child (and am a sped teacher myself), in our state, no one can take pictures of any sped child without parental permission so I don't know how the hidden camera issue would affect that if there are sped kids in the school. Maybe that's why they're reluctant to do that.

Good luck, keep us posted Tantor and follow your instincts on this!! You're doing the right thing!! I am sure from what you've written, though, that YOU are doing all you can and doing your best to keep your daughter safe.