When we have the whole family go we have always done the dining plan. When it was just one or two we figured we really was not going to use it the same way and there fore was wasting money. When we are all together we do a lot of character meals, due to the kids. So if you do a lot of character meals, buffets yes dining plan is a plus. If not, here is a way I do dining. I figure out what the dining plan cost for the 1 or 2 of us. On my upcoming trip for myself it would be $1010, it is a 16 day trip. There is no way I am going to eat that much, but what I do, so I don't pinch and save like you said your husband knows you will do. I go to target, and with my target card I buy $1000 worth of Disney gift cards, for dining. Now remember tables also have to have tips, so I try to add tips in also and get $200, but that only cost me $150 because I already saved 5%. Now I have prepaid my dining just as if I bought the dining plan. I can tell you, that I always have left over, and by chance you don't, you will be very close. I find at regular resturaunts if I buy the dining plan, I try to maximize the meal and order things I would not have, and go home gaining 10 pounds from the milkshakes and chocolate cakes for everyone. When we pay with Disney cards, we order more conservative, and either share dessert or skip it and get a snack later. With the money left over last day, you have some choices, I have saved enough to put a deposit down on a bounce back, before I own DVC, I have taking a tour we wanted, or gone horse back riding over at fort wilderness, or I buy suveniors. Over all, I have done a great job, I ate less, spent less, went home without having to go on a diet, and did not penny pinch.
Now if you want to save an extra 5% on the hotel, you can do that with target cards also. I am staying 7 days WL and 8 days BRV, for less than $1900. I have an AP rate of 35%, then I got my target cards to pay for my hotel at WL, saving me an extra $100. For a saving of 40%, my rate is $230 a night with the savings, that is cheaper than POR or POFQ. Some people can tell you how to get that up to 7% or more with target cards, but I don't want to do the work.
So, I get 16 days, 15 nights at WL/BRV for a grand total of $2800 with food. I got an AP gold for $549 last June and went 15 days, now I go in May for 16 days, costing me less than $17 a day for my park hopping. I can buy a pass for about $480 this year, which I am debating but not sure I will go again twice in one year so may just wait till next year but will have to pay the same price.
This is the only way I can afford Disney, but the more and more they up the prices, the less and less I will be able to go. I think I really need to find someplace else to go every other years because it is starting to really add up to much.